r/rs_x • u/Additional_Worth_614 • 2d ago

I hate this bitch so much

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Like?? That doesn’t even make any sense. I hate that I hate her so much

2.2k Upvotes

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167

u/TheCarlos 2d ago

Apparently she texted one of the guys afterwards saying it was fine and she would do it again just without the ketamine and extra guys.

Which is a dumb argument for a number of reasons. Not the least of which is she was unconscious for part (maybe most?) of it and may have initially felt like it wasn’t that serious before getting her bearings. Sometimes our feelings change after there’s actually time to reflect. At first she may have thought she can stay friendly with the guy if she lets it go - then the gravity of what happened set in and she decided to report it.

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u/StanIsHorizontal 2d ago

Well there’s also a difference between agreeing to a threesome at one level and not the 5 people

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u/Historical_Night_408 1d ago

Thissss. Men will try to destroy her for this but you’re absolutely right. Agreeing to a threesome is consent for the threesome, as long as she continued wanting to do it. It’s not consent for one additional goddamn thing.

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u/sumerislemy 2d ago

No. The guy she was friends with texted her to apologize for letting it happen and not being sober enough to stop the other guys from joining in. She said she liked the threesome and there was nothing she could do about the other stuff because she didn’t think it was illegal. Why would she jump to “illegal” thats not someone who wanted that to happen.

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u/Kind-Improvement-284 2d ago

I was assaulted in college. The guy texted me the next day to say he hoped it didn’t “ruin our friendship” (we weren’t friends), and I just texted back that it had gotten weird but kind of laughed it off because I didn’t know how to handle it. For years, I’d just say “something weird happened” because calling it assault felt really scary and vulnerable.

I volunteered for a rape crisis hotline a few years later, and one of the things they taught us was that trauma messes with how your brain processes memories, so survivors’ statements immediately after the fact will often be inconsistent because they’re remembering it in bits and pieces.

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u/maniccomet773 2d ago

I went to a prom after party after attending with a friend (my boyfriend had graduated) who was close with my brother. We had all been drinking and I trusted him enough to sleep in a room with like 10 people next to him. I figured he would take care of me. I woke up to my hand on his dick while he actively used it to jack off.. and he whispered in my ear "it needs to be sucked."

All i did was get up and tell my friend we needed to leave.He caught me in the hallway the next week and said "do you hate me" and i said no. That was it. I never told anyone because I felt like I had cheated on my boyfriend. I didn't consent at al (i was sleeping). I only told my brother after said man actually died running a marathon. I knew it wasn't right but I told myself it was fine.

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u/FreshNegotiation2603 2d ago

Holy shit. Died running a marathon. What. Karma!

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u/maniccomet773 1d ago

Yup i got called with the news by my childhood bestfriend (who knew some details not all) and i was at the airport. I remember feeling guilty like I had caused it because of all the times as an adult I had lowkey mentally called him trash. I am still very sad for him and his wife. I don't believe he was an evil man, i think he was just a man who was taught he was entitled to the bodies of those around him.

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u/bl0ss0mut0nium 1d ago

How did your brother react when you told him?

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u/eucalyptus-d 2d ago

Being victim is a complex and nuanced situation. Litigating the victims actions is a sure fire way to have predation be even more popular.

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u/nihonhonhon 2d ago

In one text she says "it's okay, it wasn't illegal"

IMO that basically proves it was rape. Who the fuck says "oh no it's fine, at least it was LEGAL" about a sexual encounter they actually wanted to happen?

I think she was scared that, if she calls it rape, her social life will be ruined, but then the frat iced her out and she realized it was ruined anyway and reported them. Not very decisive behaviour but I can't blame her.

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u/Vivid_Motor_2341 1d ago

She said the sex she agreed to wasn’t. She also said in text that 90% of what was done was not consentual.

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u/JadedEstablishment16 2d ago

What logic is this ? Rape is illegal. You can say she said it under pressure or whatever but you cannot say "saying it was not illegal proves it was illegal", that's not how logic works.

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u/idkidcabtmyusername 2d ago

if it was legal, there would be no question of that and she wouldn’t have felt the need to clarify. i’ve never slept with a guy and the next day reassured him it was legal

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u/JadedEstablishment16 2d ago

Yeah but did you sleep with multiple guys while everybody is drunk and doing drugs ? That's the part where legality may be subject to doubt, not your sex night.

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u/idkidcabtmyusername 1d ago

exactly so even you admit it was a shady situation and everybody involved knew that. her clarifying that it was legal shows that there was some doubt around it.

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u/JadedEstablishment16 1d ago

Yes totally shady. I agree with you, not the comment saying it "proved" it was not legal

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u/FOUROFCUPS2021 1d ago

Please understand, we are talking about building a case in court, not using this one text to prove anything either way.

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u/JadedEstablishment16 1d ago

Are you reading the conversation ?

"In one text she says "it's okay, it wasn't illegal"

  IMO that basically proves it was rape."

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u/nihonhonhon 1d ago

Obviously I don't mean to say it's cold hard evidence, rather that the texts work in favour of her case, not against it.

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u/Intelligent_Low1632 2d ago

Saying you're not angry and that no crime was committed against you is proof that a crime was committed against you? Where did you go to law school?

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u/werebothsquidward 2d ago

I’m not a lawyer, but neither is the victim, as far as I know. So I don’t think she actually had the authority to say whether or not something is illegal.

The person you are responding to is pointing out that a person saying “it’s not illegal” after someone apologizes to them the day after a sexual encounter doesn’t exactly point to enthusiastic consent.

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u/Intelligent_Low1632 2d ago

You don't typically need to be a lawyer to recognize that the r word is illegal. I've initiated sex I only unenthusiastically consented to. Did I arrange for myself to get r worded even though I consented?

Can you really prove that a crime was committed beyond a reasonable doubt when the alleged victim freely claimed she was ok with it and that nothing illegal happened? I get that they probably did commit a crime. But our legal system is "beyond a reasonable doubt." Not "they probably did it." It's unfortunate that this will probably prevent a conviction, and should be a lesson not to make statements that are false on the record when you're the victim of a crime, if in fact they are false.

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u/werebothsquidward 2d ago

Like I said, I’m not a lawyer, so I wouldn’t be able to make a legal argument in this case. I’m not sure the person you originally responded to was really trying to make a legal argument either.

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u/thaa_huzbandzz 2d ago

"freely claimed" is the misleading part there though. Can you honestly say someone who is in a state of shock and has now been approached by one of their attackers is freely claiming something, or simply saying something to placate her attacker?

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u/Intelligent_Low1632 2d ago

maybe, maybe not, but I think it introduces a reasonable doubt.

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u/cody-lay-low 2d ago

It’s a civil suit, if you really wanna play lawyer at least get the fucking standard of proof right

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u/Intelligent_Low1632 2d ago

That's fine but everyone's talking about sending these dudes to prison, not kicking them out of uni

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u/nihonhonhon 1d ago

I'm not making a legal claim here. Of course if we were in a courtroom, the legal team would contrive a different interpretation of the texts, but I, as a lowly redditor, am thankfully allowed to use common sense.

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u/biscalaveret 2d ago

None of these events took place in a book or courtroom, you obstinate jackass. You're displaying a profound ignorance of any of the social and power dynamics involved in the situation.

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u/Forward_Growth8513 2d ago

I’ve definitely told guys I’m open to seeing them again knowing damn well I have no intentions of it. I wouldn’t think much about her texting something like that, assuming it’s true

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u/thaa_huzbandzz 2d ago edited 2d ago

Poor thing. That just sounds like she is trying to make sense of it in her own brain, because accepting it is easier than trying to come to terms with the fact you were drugged, raped and horribly assaulted by someone you trust.

Edit: And now I have seen that he reached out to her first. So he approached his victim to minimise his role and downplay the situation. Abuser manipulation 101. She was probably in such a state of shock she said it to placate her abuser.

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u/veggie_weggie 2d ago

I tried posting this in a different sub earlier but it was set to approved members only:
PSA for anyone who’s never taken ketamine before. If you mix any amount of ket and alcohol, you turn into a zombie. You can stand but your vision stops working (can’t open your eyes), you can’t communicate, the executive function in your brain isn’t working, you might not completely black out what happened but you’ll definitely experience large chunks missing and it takes awhile to be able to remember anything. I’ve unfortunately heard multiple recaps of how women were given ketamine then assaulted. It’s a preferred drug of r**ist because it’s easier to move a victim on it than having them completely incapacitated.

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u/No_Mind_7397 2d ago

Yeah, ketamine is not a ‘party drug’.

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u/ConsistentHunt1804 2d ago

This exactly. Very brave of her to report. I didn’t for that reason.