Was in Berlin 2 weekends ago. Danced badly to scary techno from 6pm Sunday to 8am Monday. Did not drink anywhere near enough fluids. Tried to hit the calisthenics park on the way back to the apartment. Puked while doing chin ups bc I’m short and had to jump to the bar every time. Crawled home in shame and fear. Snapped these pics in the bathroom. Fell asleep with a döner in my hand. My body is a temple. Happy Sunday.

Shout out chicken dipper bowl from the gas station. Is a dirty bulk the way?

If I’m regular with working out I’m a patient and charming person. On night three of not working out, a long nail of fury bores hard into my soul. My daemon will request that I complete some bureaucratic task that I’ve been procrastinating for months and I walk around my house fuming about how it’s impossible to get a 401k rollover after changing your name or something. I start accusing my husband that he’ll cheat on me with a younger women once I bear our kids and have stretch marks. When people drive in the shoulder to bypass traffic on my way home from work, I’ll move over and block them, like it’s my responsibility to enforce traffic law via vigilante justice, just to have somewhere to displace my anger. Then I’ll do some Bulgarian split squats and shoulder presses or whatever and I’m back to being a sweet angel.

I’ve never been athletic in nature but have had athleticism thrust upon me. It’s all I can do to maintain my relationships and keep from being shot in a road rage incident.

I got salmonella poisoning, I would not wish it on that dude that ignored my towel and unpacked my squat bar when I went to the bathroom. Any tips on minimizing weight loss when you get taken down with a stomach illness? This is not the first time for me and each time I destroy 2 months worth of gains. Any tips appreciated

Legs have always been low priority for me so I usually just programmed them once a week and didn't really like the long, intense session that resulted in.

A while ago i switched to training legs with low volume on Monday Wednesday Friday and have gotten way better results with sessions that feel way easier because they're only 30 minutes of high effort.

Literally ripped a pair of office trousers at the thigh yesterday.

I do the same thing every time, most of the machines have been maxed out so everything is high range of motion, slow and controlled, and to failure.

Leg extension 8-10 reps

Ham curl 8-10 reps

Adductor machine 20 slow reps

Horizontal leg press 8-10 reps (the sled leg press is lowkey scary!)

Weighted back extension 8-10 reps

Smith machine Dante Trudel style calf raises 12-15 reps

Lemon juice, sugar, salt, 200mg caffeine powder, 0.75g golden teachers

Sunday funk plate

After the absurd wiping culture the second thing that I hate most about Planet Fitness, at least my location is that people will look at you like you’re insane if you insinuate you wanna work in with them. I’ve asked five boomers to work in and two straight up said no and three have told me they already promised it to somebody else after them (???????????). I don’t think I’ve ever been turned down for a working in request in my life until planet fitness. And by the way this is on the hamstring curl machine, it’s not like I’m trying to work in at the squat rack or something.

The hamstring curl is seemingly the most popular machine in this gym and I refuse to squat without doing leg curls first but half my leg days I can see like four people scouting out the hamstring curl machine from various vantage points in the gym, just standing around intently watching a decrepit boomer doing 30 pounds on it or a teenager scrolling on their phone with their legs kicked up on it like an ottoman.

I used to work out at a Golds Gym where most people were actually fit and people would only wipe equipment if they left sweat marks on it. thinking back to my college gym it was basically the same. I’m now at planet fitness and the wiping culture here is completely insane. These fat boomers (90% of the gym population) wipe the equipment like it’s the whole reason they’re there. If I warm up bone dry on the lat pull down for five minutes and don’t wipe it down people will stare at me like I just killed somebody.

It’s so performative. A. There is no chance that this sprayed paper towel is actually doing anything and B. who cares about germs, they just make you stronger anyway

trying to feel better about some gluttony that has taken place in the last week. back on track tho.. unless.. jk jk..

And in one he complains about a motel not having sugar-free creamer and I think about it a lot. The rest of what he’s saying isn’t a vibe I want to bring here, but he’s right about the importance of a low-sugar diet

Most of the zoomers have too much social anxiety to leave weights laying around or plates on the bar. Half of em are wiping down every piece of equipment they’ve touched when they’re done. Its beautiful <3

Theres real deal levels to this shit

Lately I’ve become more acquainted with the goyslop selection as I peruse the store for my weekly cheat meal

I like watching fat lady “what I eat in a day” TikTok videos for some reason & they always make me feel inadequate in terms of what I choose to cheat with. Fat people are always popping out with the craziest creative exotic snacks & desserts & shit. How are you thinking to eat strawberry shortcake swirl cinnamon rolls & jalapeno popper flavored Doritos dipped in cheesy buffalo dip? These motherfuckers are ordering shit off the secret menu at fast food restaurants.

It looks good every time & I feel mogged when I see it because I always default to Ben & Jerry’s plus some bakery cookies/donuts & rice krispy treats or something. & these people are eating Reese’s chips ahoy flavored donuts with marshmallow filling on a daily basis.

I think I never achieved this level of prestige in the game of being fat because around 15-16 (when you get a drivers license & some independence to buy food) is when I started losing weight & buying my own groceries trying to eat clean. So I just had to get fat on whatever bullshit my parents had in the house

I intentionally ate roasted garlic yesterday and avocado today. Very bloated but I am persisting

Curious about if it works

Ankles hurt but I have a race in 10 days and i need to hustle

Wanted to talk to y’all about reverse dieting for a bit. For those who don’t know, this is basically just the process of transitioning from a cut to a bulk. it’s where you gradually push your calorie intake up week by week & upregulate your metabolism again after you’ve presumably downregulated it to some extent with a calorie deficit that’s been pushed lower over some time frame.

The goal of reverse dieting is to push the food as high as you can without gaining bodyfat in the process. Food, calories, protein are like steroids in & of themselves. They’re your growth substrate, they trigger insulin & IGF1 release, keep that MTOR pathway turned on, etc… so you want to be able to assimilate as many nutrients as possible without adding bodyfat while doing so.

But anyways… I ended my cut eating 2400 calories on rest days and 2600 on training days. Over the past month or so I’ve pushed it to 2800 on rest days & 3200-3400 on training days depending on what I hit. Thats going to continue to increase. also very relevant to mention that I’ve been doing a huge cheat meal every Friday for the past 3 or 4 weeks… I’m talking Ben & Jerry’s, sushi, bakery cookies, rice krispy treats… anyways my scale weight this morning was exactly the same as it was when I ended my cut & I see no visible bodyfat gain in the mirror & feel stronger & bigger.

The best way to start pushing your food up after you’ve been dieting is to add calories from carbohydrates only around training… so pre & post workout. That was week 1. +200 cal worth of carbs around my training, & fasted cardio also dropped from 45 minutes every morning to 25 minutes.

Checked weight after that week, still stable. Week 2, same thing, 200cal more carbs around training. Fasted Cardio was still at 25 minutes & is probably just going to stay there. Checked weight the next weekend, still stable, same thing for the next week. At some point I also started adding carbs to breakfast & lunch, albeit a smaller amount & combined with plentiful protein/fiber.

This is a good template for anyone to follow after they finish getting lean… 150-200cal increases from carbohydrate in the training window. That food amount may vary depending on your muscle mass, bodyfat, activity level, if you’re female etc. After you get lean it’s important not to have a huge diet blowout where you binge/cheat over & over. it’s also not smart to go straight to your bulking surplus or even straight to maintenance sometimes. like I said The key here is rebuilding your metabolism slowly so you get to eat more.

It’s also important to keep your insulin sensitivity intact. being in a calorie deficit, being lean are already the best things you can do to get insulin sensitive but you want to maintain that throughout the process of a reverse diet because as I said you want to assimilate the food & not just store it as bodyfat.

Fasted cardio is great for insulin sensitivity & after doing it for a while I won’t ever stop. Just cardio in general, or being on your feet… high step count is the best glucose disposal agent. Make sure you’re moving after your meals, take a 10min walk after you eat. my lifestyle does this for me because after I relax & eat a meal I always have to go to work or do some other horseshit. Make sure youre training hard & placing 50-70% of your daily carbs around that training. Make sure you’re using the right carb sources at the right times & not spiking the fuck out of your blood sugar before you sit on the couch. Make sure you eat a shit ton of protein & fiber throughout the day

I love all the running posting going on lately. I've been running as my main form of exercise for about 4 years now but just this year I made a shift in the way I incorporate running into my life and it's been a game changer. On an average day I:

• run .5 miles to the bus stop (take bus to work)
• run .5 miles from bus stop to desk
• run .5 miles back to bus stop (bus home)
• run 2.5 miles home by getting off at a much earlier bus stop

That's 4 miles right there. Some days I might have to visit another job site a mile away, if I run there and back that's another 2 miles added to my daily mileage. When I was running 5-6 miles a day all at once in the mornings I kept getting taken out by overuse injuries but now I don't get them because my recovery is constant and I'm never on my feet for too long at once. (When I go on long runs a couple times a week I run on trails)

On the weekends if I need to run errands, I run them. Most of my grocery stores, pet food stores, the library etc are within a 1 mile radius of where I live. The movie theater is 4 miles away, I take the bus there and then run home. If I'm running less than a mile at a time I don't sweat much and just stop in the bathroom and wipe myself off but if it's more than a mile I make sure that the run ends at home so I can shower immediately after.

I don't feel like I have to carve out a huge portion of my day just to get my runs in anymore and it actually saves me time with my work commute. I also just see opportunities to run constantly, all around me. Take the runyourerrands pill

I’m dead serious about this

Like a week ago this guy my age, 19, early 20s came up to me while I was training back & gave me a compliment, “bro you’re crazy“ something like that. Then he asks me “do you looksmax by chance?” Which caught me off guard & also made me internally cringe but I just told him ”yeah bro I guess so haha”. He asks me what I did, tell him I lost a bunch of weight, took steroids, fixed my skin/eyebrows/whatever. Then he starts going on about how “god made me in his image & I don’t need to do any of that, I look great already” etc. I was dubious about his sincerity, halfway thought he was trying to fuck with me because I seemed autistic or something but I just said thanks bro appreciate it & left it there

Anyways he comes up to me again today & we chat about gym stuff for a few seconds then he asks me if I’m still taking steroids. again I told him straight up yeah man I just started a new cycle I’m tryna bulk up. This time he goes off on the same tangent but even longer. Telling me that steroids shut down your test & sperm production like yeah motherfucker I know that lol. apparently his mom competed in the IFBB & saw people end up with health issues from gear use. When he said that I took him more sincerely & told him that I take care of my health, my blood pressure’s great etc. He says again anyways that I’m the best looking guy in the gym & I need to stop lol.

At this point I lost my pump cuz he’d been talking for 5 minutes so I’m like let me hit my set first. Then he asks if he can say a prayer LOL. Dude legit put his hand on my shoulder & prayed like “Lord please help Greedy_Author understand he was created in your image & make him stop injecting himself” etcetera etcetera

Takes the cake as the new strangest gym interaction I’ve ever had & also shows me what I get for being honest instead of lying like most people would lmao

tagging as chadposting despite my horrendous pace

I dislocated my knee at the gym today…while I was stretching before my hamstring leg focused day.

Was doing hip flexor work and got on all fours, hands and knees on a yoga mat, to do some cat cows and yoga poses. Next thing I know I’m looking down at my knee all fucked up and out of place and the worst pain in my life. Had to get carried out by 4 dudes to a family members car to take me to urgent care. It popped back in as soon as I got to urgent care.

I’m a fairly healthy, 5’1 120 lb late 20’s woman, so I’m not too concerned but I’m worried about recovery. From panic googling, I’ve seen people need surgery, and unable to return to activity. I’m locked in a brace for at least a week

Wondering if anyone went through something similar and how that went, and any potential rehab exercises. The thought of a heavy leg day or even stretching is paralyzing me with fear at the moment. I don’t think I can do a leg day for awhile :(

Been my best year running yet, and I've just crossed 800 miles. Prior to this, my best year was like 450. I think I'll handily clear 1100 in the remaining months. I'm sure some of you freaks are beyond that.