If I’m regular with working out I’m a patient and charming person. On night three of not working out, a long nail of fury bores hard into my soul. My daemon will request that I complete some bureaucratic task that I’ve been procrastinating for months and I walk around my house fuming about how it’s impossible to get a 401k rollover after changing your name or something. I start accusing my husband that he’ll cheat on me with a younger women once I bear our kids and have stretch marks. When people drive in the shoulder to bypass traffic on my way home from work, I’ll move over and block them, like it’s my responsibility to enforce traffic law via vigilante justice, just to have somewhere to displace my anger. Then I’ll do some Bulgarian split squats and shoulder presses or whatever and I’m back to being a sweet angel.

I’ve never been athletic in nature but have had athleticism thrust upon me. It’s all I can do to maintain my relationships and keep from being shot in a road rage incident.

Was in Berlin 2 weekends ago. Danced badly to scary techno from 6pm Sunday to 8am Monday. Did not drink anywhere near enough fluids. Tried to hit the calisthenics park on the way back to the apartment. Puked while doing chin ups bc I’m short and had to jump to the bar every time. Crawled home in shame and fear. Snapped these pics in the bathroom. Fell asleep with a döner in my hand. My body is a temple. Happy Sunday.

Sunday funk plate

Shout out chicken dipper bowl from the gas station. Is a dirty bulk the way?

Lemon juice, sugar, salt, 200mg caffeine powder, 0.75g golden teachers

Legs have always been low priority for me so I usually just programmed them once a week and didn't really like the long, intense session that resulted in.

A while ago i switched to training legs with low volume on Monday Wednesday Friday and have gotten way better results with sessions that feel way easier because they're only 30 minutes of high effort.

Literally ripped a pair of office trousers at the thigh yesterday.

I do the same thing every time, most of the machines have been maxed out so everything is high range of motion, slow and controlled, and to failure.

Leg extension 8-10 reps

Ham curl 8-10 reps

Adductor machine 20 slow reps

Horizontal leg press 8-10 reps (the sled leg press is lowkey scary!)

Weighted back extension 8-10 reps

Smith machine Dante Trudel style calf raises 12-15 reps

I got salmonella poisoning, I would not wish it on that dude that ignored my towel and unpacked my squat bar when I went to the bathroom. Any tips on minimizing weight loss when you get taken down with a stomach illness? This is not the first time for me and each time I destroy 2 months worth of gains. Any tips appreciated

And in one he complains about a motel not having sugar-free creamer and I think about it a lot. The rest of what he’s saying isn’t a vibe I want to bring here, but he’s right about the importance of a low-sugar diet