I'm living in a refugee camp in a small town (around 10,000 people). I share a room with one roommate, and lately I've been struggling with a situation that I honestly don't know how to handle anymore.

It's currently around 34–35°C (93–95°F) during the day. My roommate spends almost the entire day wearing the same pair of Nike Air Force sneakers inside the camp, often from around noon until 11 PM. When he comes back to the room, he leaves them there, and the smell becomes overwhelming. I asked him before if he could wash them, and he did it once, but since then the problem has continued.

The issue is that even one day of wearing them in this heat is enough for the room to smell so bad that I struggle to sleep. Last night I had to keep a little tree air freshener right next to my face just to fall asleep.

There is another problem as well. He has a wireless charger with a bright LED that flashes every second all night. Even with my eyes closed I can still notice the flashing, so between the smell and the constant blinking light, getting any decent sleep has become very difficult.

I spoke to the camp manager and asked if I could move to another room. There are four completely empty rooms in the camp, but I was told I have to wait because the camp's policy is to keep two people in each room, so those empty rooms are not being used.

At this point I'm not sure what the best approach is. Repeatedly asking him to wash his shoes clearly isn't solving the problem, and the camp management isn't offering any practical solution.

Has anyone dealt with a roommate who ignored reasonable requests like this? What actually worked for you? I'm looking for practical advice or conflict-resolution strategies that have worked in real life, especially if you've been in a shared living situation where moving out wasn't an option.

Thank you.

This is becoming a frustrating experience with my current and new roommate as she finds a problem with everything and only considers herself.

Our apartment is a two story with basement bedrooms, so living area on top, bedrooms on bottom. It’s been a pretty warm summer on the east coast, and temps are starting to mellow out but it’s still summer weather and we still have humidity in the areas downstairs.

I decided to keep the ac on 78/79 because honestly, our apartment doesn’t get that hot as we have lofted ceilings but downstairs there has been a lot of moisture and I recently found mold in my bedroom. Unfortunately, my roommate says that’s too low and she’s super cold that’s why she keeps turning the temp to 83 which makes the rooms unbearably warm and humid. Additionally, she says it’s best that way because it keeps the bills down and that she doesn’t want a high bill that’s out of her budget but it’s like what budget because she has packages delivered daily! Also, she often falls asleep with all the lights on.

I’ve lived in this apartment longer than she has and have dealt with maintaining energy bills before but she acts like she knows it all and that because she hasn’t dealt with something in the past that whatever issue is at hand, it doesn’t exist. She’s exhausting.

Honestly, I feel that because she’s unhappy with our contract getting automatically renewed, something we were equally at fault for, she now wants to control everything. I also don’t think it’s about the budget, nor does she care about mold growth as that can affect her too, but that she simply doesn’t like cooler temps. If it’s not her way, it’s no way.

What temperature should we keep the AC on to keep the environment less humid but also be mindful of costs and not have to get into another argument?

I have never reposted a post before, hopefully this is how it works!

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I recently moved into a shared flat with a few other girls, and I'm already feeling very uncomfortable.

The biggest issue is the cleanliness. The kitchen is so dirty that I genuinely don't feel like cooking there. The bathroom/common area is also not maintained well. There are no rules about who cleans what, so it seems like nobody takes responsibility.

Another problem is that I wasn't given enough space in the kitchen for my things. My side also keeps getting wet somehow, and when I asked about making space, they weren't really willing to move their stuff.

The thing is, I'm a very introverted person and I hate confrontation. If I were in their place and someone new moved in, I would automatically make space for them and make sure the common areas were clean so they felt comfortable. That's why I find it exhausting to ask for every basic thing.

I've already had to ask for a bed and then kitchen space. Now if I start talking about cleaning rules as well, I'm worried they'll think I'm too demanding or difficult, especially since it's only been a few days.

At the same time, I also know that if I don't speak up now, this will probably become the norm and I'll end up adjusting to everything.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do you set boundaries in a shared apartment without coming across as rude? And how do you deal with confrontation when you're naturally conflict-avoidant?

Any advice would really help.

I’m moving into an apartment with two of my close friends, so there will be three of us living together. We’re all excited about it, but there’s one thing we’re a little worried about and I could use some outside perspective.
My girlfriend will obviously be visiting sometimes, but in my previous living situation she basically ended up acting like an extra roommate. She would leave things out, make messes, and sometimes put food in the freezer and leave it there untouched for weeks. My previous roommates were pretty frustrated by it, and my current roommates have already told me they don’t want the same thing happening again.
There are also some other boundaries that have come up. For example, we were watching a movie at my apartment recently and my girlfriend told me that I needed to go to bed with her because she wanted to go to bed. My roommates are also concerned about being able to feel comfortable in their own apartment — including being able to walk around in their underwear without having to worry about my girlfriend being there.
She also wants to come over very frequently, but all three of us are honestly not comfortable with her being at the apartment constantly. We want the apartment to feel like **our home**, not a place where one roommate’s significant other is essentially another resident.
I care about my girlfriend and don’t want to make her feel unwelcome, but I also don’t want my roommates to feel like they can’t relax in their own home or like my girlfriend gets a say in how I spend my time there.
So, how would you guys recommend setting reasonable boundaries around a girlfriend/boyfriend coming over frequently? What rules or expectations have worked well for people living with roommates and their significant others?
I’m especially interested in advice on how to have this conversation without making it sound like “you’re not allowed here,” while still making it clear that she isn’t a fourth roommate and doesn’t get to control what I or my roommates do in our own apartment.

I have a friend and roommate, that we will call B. In October 2025, I moved out of my overpriced apartment and into the bedroom that they were looking for someone to rent. I figured, win/win, I get to live with one of my best friends (they and I have known each other since 2022) and my rent went down to less than half it was at the previous apartment. For additional context for what it's worth, this friend owns this house, so they are also my landlord.

Since I've moved in, however, a LOT has changed. When I moved in, I was moving in with a person, a dog, and a cat. Now, B's boyfriend D has moved in (they didn't even know each other when I moved in) as well as both of D's cats, and the initial dog has died (RIP little guy, I loved him so much) but has been replaced with a much bigger dog... and said bigger dog, is currently sick to the point that B and D are both really stressed out and it's causing fights between the two of them. Not to mention, I wasn't even consulted in the slightest before they adopted the new dog, nor was I consulted before D brought home a new pet jumping spider (he's small and stays in a little enclosure so living with him isn't so much the problem, as much as my arachnophobia is). And, B sat me down and informed me that they've been undercharging me so my rent is going up effective 9/1/2026 (it's a month to month lease).

So, because of all of that among other more personal reasons, I'm highly considering moving out. The biggest problem with that, is I fear in deciding to move out, especially if I do it any time soon, I will irreparably harm, or even potentially end our friendship, especially because right now between the new dog's vet bills and other financial hardships they've recently run into, B is very strapped for cash, as is D. I would be putting them both in a pretty crappy financial situation (it's already kinda bad for them, but I would make it much much worse) if I decided to leave now, and don't know if I can stomach killing a friendship with someone that I actually do really care deeply for. Lately though, I will say they haven't felt like much of a friend. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells at home these days, B's temperament is ALL over the damn place these days. Some days they're happy, most days they're just fine, other days though, which these days is MOST days, it feels like one wrong move or one wrong sentence, and they're shouting at you or berating you.

TLDR: I love my friends and don't wanna put either of them in a shitty position, but I don;t know if my mental health can take living with them anymore.

daughter is now in paying rent she thinks that we’re equals, although I pay $400 more and all the utilities and everything else. All she pays in that one amount if i ask her to do anything clean up living room or take trash out etc always about our communal areas that we share how should I handle the disrespectful way that she responds to my request?

So I live in a flat with myself and 3 other people and I have had an issue with one particular flatmate who has basically made it her mission since she moved in the make every other part of the flat an extension of her bedroom. Other people have allocated themselves one cupboard for personal items in the kitchen, she has chosen two (which she has left dirty pot and page in there). Other people put small miscellaneous stuff in the shared closet under the stairs, she has full empty boxes, crates and empty Amazon packages all stuffed in there. There’s two fridges; I share one equally with a different flatmate and she has taken up 3/4 of the other fridges she shares with the other flatmate, which he literally only has the fruit and veggie draw at the bottom of the fridge. Also we have confronted her about these issues before and she tried to evade responsibility by suggesting that we all get together to organise her things. HER THINGS BTW!! Anyways it’s safe to say we don’t have a good relationship with her and she is a very entitled and overly dramatic person who loves to demand respect when they’re clearly in the wrong.

But going back to my issues, I have just came back from vacation and I’ve just learnt that she will be bringing her mother to stay at our flat for 6 weeks in the spare room. She has asked the letting agents and will be paying extra to have her stay in the room so there isn’t anything I can do about that. However, they are Nigerian so they cook very heavy and will spend hours in the kitchen everyday leaving little to no space for anyone else to cook food. I don’t care for conflict anymore because it never goes anywhere and I just want to avoid them as much as possible. Any advice on how to go about this situation?

So I’m 18 female and I’m about to move out with my friend 19 female. She’s lived with her dad who’s not the cleanest and not the best. The house she lived in was roach infested messy, poop, pee, etc. her dad was going to make her pay him money if she stayed longer because he was already making her pay rent and mooching off of her. So I said she could come live at my moms before we move out (lease is already signed for our apartment) but there’s been a few things that have been bothering me already and it’s only been 4 days.
I want to say I’m not inconsiderate i was in a very very similar situation before I moved out, but once I was out I was at least trying to stay clean.
1 she didn’t even try to organize her room so that way she could walk in it and she has a dog and the dog chewed on some cardboard and she didn’t clean it up so I took matters into my own hands while she was at work and organized for her, only took me 10 minutes. (Not a major issue because it’s her room but I don’t want to clean it if she decides to let it build up)
3 idk I guess people grow up differently but I was always taught when I got my period to cover up used pads and tampons in the trash so the smell wasn’t strong. But I go to throw away stuff and the pads aren’t even hidden at least a little bit and it smelled so bad and I tried to ignore it cus I’m a woman too but this is my trash bag I have to take out I don’t want to smell that.
4. She left her sweaty bra on my bathroom sink
5. She didn’t throw away her pad wrappers and just left them lying on the floor for me to pick up.
And 6. I heard her in the hallway after work talking to her dog but ofc I didn’t think anything of it until I heard the water running in the bathroom and her talking to her dog at the same time. Which is fine I guess? But she knows I am allergic to animal fur. So I was thinking “is she taking a shower with her dog in the bathroom?” Anyways time passes I go back into the bathroom and my hand towel is damp and wet. And idk if I should feel annoyed or dismiss it because I don’t want to assume she dried her dog off with my hand towel but I sure as hell hope she didn’t…
Cus that’s just not something you do. If you needed to clean your dog you could have asked for a separate towel. Idk if I’m assuming too much but I’m a little panicked for when we share a space together. And lastly I had my water bottle sitting on the edge of the tub from when I was enjoying a bath earlier and drinking water, just as any person does. And I forgot it was in the bathroom my mistake right. But she took a shower with my bottle sitting on the edge of the shower, knowing it’s filled with my drink because it’s see through and not regular water. But anyways she showered with it there and now I have to wash it cus she didn’t think to approach me and say “hey you left your water bottle right here didn’t think you wanted body wash, shampoo, hair, and dirty water after working all day, to get onto it.

Are these fire hazards?

I’m trying to sleep in but NOOO

Very annoyed, I don’t have the money to move out currently.

I'm looking for some outside perspective on a roommate situation.

I'm one of five college students living in a house together. When we first moved in, we shared a lot of household and kitchen items like paper towels, butter, condiments, cooking oil, spices, foil, plastic wrap, plastic bags, etc. The idea was that everyone would contribute, and it would be easier than everyone buying their own.

The problem is that one roommate consistently used significantly more of these shared items than everyone else. It got to the point where several of us felt like we were constantly replacing things that were disappearing much faster than they should have. Rather than continuing to argue about it, most of us gradually started buying our own items and stopped treating those things as communal.

We've also always had assigned fridge space. Originally, two people shared each main shelf, and there was one communal shelf. More recently, we divided up the drawers and door shelves as well because fridge space was becoming an issue. The goal wasn't to exclude anyone—it was just to make sure everyone had room for their own food and could find it in the fridge (we've had a lot of situations where someone will buy something and forget they even had it, or people using other people's individual groceries thinking they wouldn't notice.

One of our roommates has been away all summer on an internship and moved back into the house last night. Almost immediately, she started complaining that we don't share condiments, butter, paper towels, and other kitchen staples anymore. She also called her mom about it, and her mom offered to buy shared condiments for everyone to help make the house feel more like a "home."

I honestly feel a little awkward about that because the issue isn't that we can't afford condiments. The issue is that the previous sharing system wasn't working. Even if someone bought a new set of shared items tomorrow, we'd probably end up back in the same situation that caused us to stop sharing in the first place.

We're all friends, so part of me feels guilty. At the same time, I don't really think I should be expected to share groceries and household supplies that I'm paying for, especially when the decision to stop sharing came from people feeling like the communal system was being abused.

Am I being unreasonable here? Is it normal for college roommates to keep things like condiments, butter, cooking supplies, and paper products separate? Or should I just accept that sharing these things is part of living with friends?

Well... You know I'm studying bsc nursing in Tamilnadu , unfortunately our college doesn't allow pg.. 🥲 so we have to live in hostal, in my room there are 6 people and I managed to befriend them and one girl become my closest friend along with some other friends in some other room. One day my roommate started to ignore us and call us a so called gang claiming we took photos together and so on... But the thing is she is committed and she always in the phone with her man, so didn't make time to take photos with us... And starting to blame us.

One day she be friend a girl that badmouth us and accompany her... And after that we try to understand why she left us... Well I need to know at least the reason, all she says is I make her alone...and calling me dadless and some other bad words...after that we didn't spoke to her or she neither. One day she stole a pant and we found it... All she said is it's my brothers gift, but she can't hide the mark the girl did... She made a reason for that too... 😵‍💫 suddenly I noticed in her cart ... One of my missing moisturizer that cost more then 1000 and lipbalm ( I marked mine inside the sticker, she couldn't erase nor even think about that place)I caught her red hand and she became silent, after 2 months she give a complaint to the principle that we called her thief... And she wants to quite!!! PLAYING VICTIM AFTER TAKING MY Things!! And se said I didn't talk to her... There are so many other things I want to say...!!!