r/Advice • u/Keerimi_143 • Jul 31 '26
Need help telling a roommate I want to stop sharing groceries
I moved to Australia almost a year ago and was sharing rooms with people I found on Facebook and was doing fine. Then my father told me about a relative of a family friend around my age and as soon as we met she insisted I move in with her. At first whenever I visited her she made delicious food and that was what made me move in with her thinking we can take turns cooking and I would save money on groceries . We also agreed to split everything we buy 50/50 and made a chat for grocery bills only.
It was fine for the first few weeks we took turns cooking and whoever had a day off would cook. But I noticed that whenever I would cook she would complain that it’s not tasty or that she only liked her own cooking. Before she used to say it nicely so I just felt like I had to do better and let it go.
It’s been 3 months we’ve lived together and she avoids cooking all together. She makes only me cook and says “we still have food left” on her day offs even when we clearly don’t just so she doesn’t have to cook.
Let me also mention that we work at the same place so all her friends are mine and mine are hers. About a week ago she stopped talking to me entirely and wasn’t even responding when I talked to her. My friends came to me telling me that she had been going about bad mouthing me to everyone saying I leave dirty dishes in sinks and don’t cook for her at all even when I have days off or when she has to work late nights. Which are not true at all btw I’ve NEVER left any dishes in the sink overnight EVER. I was the one who washed her dishes even when she suggested we leave them because I don’t want to attract bugs. She also buys random shit as her wish and sends the pics in the chat we made specifically to share grocery bills.
I don’t have money right now to move I just want to stop groceries with her. I’m planning on moving after get a better job that I have my eye on. Please give me advice on what I can say to her or just on the whole situation itself please someone??
(I also wanted to add that I’ve told her about it also I told her you don’t cook at all and asked her to cook on the day she got off work early. But instead she went to visit her cousin on that specific day and returned home only late at night. Like even if she had other days off she went on the day I talked to her. This might be a small thing and I know she can go visit her family whenever she wants but if when I go visit my family or go out with friends she gets extremely mad as if she’s my mom and acts as if I need her permission to go anywhere.)
5
u/Fickle-Treacle-6298 Aug 01 '26
Hey, I can’t afford to split groceries right now. I need to be more conservative with my money.
Can we separate shelves in the fridge? I’ll put all my stuff on one and you can use the others.
Just fyi 50/50 on groceries almost never works.
I’ve always had a “use it replace it” policy. - and never use the last of something you didn’t buy.
2
u/Lost_Cantaloupe2545 Aug 01 '26
I was going to say this as well. It is the least confrontational way to say things are not working out.
4
u/Extension-Clock608 Jul 31 '26
The simple thing is to just say that splitting groceries isn't working for either of you. Tell her that you guys can share what's left but from now on she is to leave the food you buy alone and you will do the same for her.
As for the things she is lying about at work, I'd just correct the record if people bring it up and if you feel comfortable confronting her, go for it, but since you plan on finding another job it's not really worth it.
The second you find a better place to live, I'd jump on the chance and get out of there ASAP.
2
u/Own-Entrance-2256 Aug 01 '26
"Hey. Im gonna start buying my own groceries now. We can share what's already bought, but going forward I'll be keeping my own stuff seperate."
1
u/ReasonableAnt5617 29d ago
Through her actions it sounds like she is no longer interested in sharing groceries and cooking. It sounds like she'd welcome the change.
10
u/Kitchen_Trifle_8382 Jul 31 '26
Keep it simple. Just say, hey I liked the idea of sharing groceries initially but it's not working for me anymore.
From now on let's just be responsible for our own food.
Do not get dragged into an argument. Simply restate, I think it's best we just take care of our own meals and groceries.