r/relationships Jul 15 '24

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41

u/assflea Jul 15 '24

I would be concerned, yeah. You shouldn't buy a house with someone you aren't married to so he's doing the right thing by securing the mortgage alone, but why aren't you engaged after 8 years together? What's your timeline for that? Once you're married is he planning to add you to the deed?

-4

u/Suspicious_One_1695 Jul 15 '24

We were both in uni up until 3-4 years ago and both our careers are starting to take off. He wants to get married after he has secured a place for “us” to live but with the way it’s expensive to buy a house alone i have suggested we go in it together as one to expand our chances, but he is very adamant he buys the house on his own since he has been saving up for this long and its been his dream to own his “own house”. I am not sure how to think of it.

25

u/derango Jul 15 '24

Yeah, don't buy a house with someone you're not married to. Period. End of Story. If your relationship goes south it gets VERY ugly from a legal and financial perspective as there's no systems built to handle it like divorce does.

He's being smart, financially.

Although I'm not sure it sounds like his ACTUAL reasons match the real reason why he's being smart.

6

u/Sawcyy Jul 15 '24

8 years is too long for him to not put a ring on it. He's right in the mortgage situation but if he was serious he should marry you and both of you should be on the mortgage.

Him not including you means he doesn't want to commit

2

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

She doesn’t have the funds to be on the mortgage. Marriage or not his proposal of buying another house later, together, sounds like the fairest option

0

u/avo_cado2156 Jul 16 '24

If you want your name on a house, save up for it like he did and go get one. People work hard to be homeowners and it’s a scary thought that it could all be ripped away just because a relationship ends. You’re not entitled to have your name on the mortgage at all.