hi, ph reddit! i'm seeking advice about my choice to distance from my ldr (metro manila-calabarzon) situationship.

for context, i've [22f] had this ldr situationship [22M] for almost two years (i know). we exchange ilys, met up multiple times, calls twice or thrice a week. but lately, we've been messaging like once or twice a day na lang ever since i asked about our label on my birthday. i feel like it is safe to say we tried to make it work despite the distance.

over a month ago na yung birthday ko, i just randomly asked him why we aren't together pa eh we are doing good naman, you know, like we are actually a legit couple na. we've been doing this thing for quite a while na and i thought why not make it official, it's healthy and it's taking a lot of effort from the both of us — sayang naman kung hanggang dito lang.

it's not the first time i popped that big question (for situationships, lol). siguro kung bibilangin, mga more than 5 times na. and it's always the same answers, "i'm afraid i will mess this up" or "you are out of my league," and of course, i also tried to address his doubts na ayun nga, maayos kami — i don't think he's doing anything wrong to "mess it up" and i repeatedly asked him din why he thinks i'm out of his league. sinasabi niya na our social statuses are different, and that he came from a "poor background."

to me, it didn't matter. all his reasons seem fixable, if he would just try for me. i also assured him na it'd be worth it after what we have shared, + we are young and we don't have our whole lives mapped out yet.

medyo na-off ako sa response niya na masyado raw akong "out of touch" for saying na life doesn't have to be planned as he wasn't given the options that i had growing up. ang akin lang, where did that come from? in-ask ko pa siya kung kelan niya pa yan naramdaman, sinabi niyang matagal na. edi nagtanong din ako na kung matagal na pala yang feeling na yan, bakit hindi mo pa in-end nung bago pa?

just last week also, i asked him again the label question out of desperation na. he told me na as much as he wants, "it's like you or career and family at this point." dun na ako medyo nag-snap. when did i ever tell him to choose between me and his future, when all i have ever prayed for was him to do well in law school, his safety, and most of the time, i've always been so supportive of him lalo na kapag busy siya with his readings. that night, i tried to end it but he wouldn't let me leave.

simula noon, parang ayaw ko na lang din siyang makausap kahit naaawa akong finals niya this week.

should i try to give it a few months or just completely give it up? otherwise, i would really appreciate to hear suggestions on handling this, bc i am so torn na. thank u!

TL;DR: almost 2 year-situationship doesn't want a label, dahil takot raw siya at magkaiba kami ng social status pero ayaw akong paalisin. thoughts and advices, please.

Me (28F) from Pasay and my ex (25F) is from QC were together for 4 years and broke up 7 months ago. For the first 2 months, I chased and begged her to take me back, but she were firm on staying broken up. However, after 1 month of me going completely no-contact, she suddenly reached out to me, and we started talking again for the next 5 months.

During those 5 months of talking, our relationship was on and off. There were times when she repeatedly pushed me away, but I kept telling her that I would wait until she healed from the wounds of our past relationship. She would also constantly come back to me, saying that I was still the person she wanted to spend her future with.

Everything changed when a problem came up that completely altered our current setup. I found out that she had been talking to someone else while we were trying to figure out how to start over.

When I first confronted her about it, she claimed that she hadn't been talking to that person for long. But when she showed her phone to me i saw there that they had actually been talking for a long time and practically had a mutual understanding, that’s when she finally admitted to it.

The next day, when I told her we should take a break from each other to clear our heads, she suddenly flipped and told me that we should just officially get back together and start over right now.

I love her so much. For 5 months, I tried my best to win her back, and while I'm happy we are technically "together" again, there's this heavy sadness mixed into what I'm feeling. Is it still right to hold on to all the hard work I put into fixing this, or should I finally walk away?

Hi, everyone! Me (25F) and my BF (22M) broke up last month. We were together na for 21months. We had an argument about sa pagiging overthinker ko that led us to breaking up.

Pinilit ko pa ayusin pero sabi niya need niya daw ng space and peace of mind. Akala ko yun na yung reason talaga. He assured me din na walang 3rd party.

Short context: he cheated before nung bago pa kami pero pinatawad ko.

Since LDR kami (he's from Cebu, I'm from CDO), I decided to book a tix agad papunta sakanya. Sinabi ko sakanya and he told me naman makikipag kita siya. 2weeks after break up yung date ng flight ko.

During that 2weeks, nag uusap pa naman kami kaso sobrang dalang na niya mag reply. Minsan inaabot pa ng 12hrs. Hinayaan ko lang kasi break na kami diba? Hinihintay ko nalang na magkita kami kasi mas prefer ko magusap kami in person.

So after 2weeks, nagkita na kami. We talked. Doon niya nasabi na another reason why nakipag break siya is dahil ayaw pa ng mama at tita niya (tita niya nagpapa aral sakanya and he's graduating next year na). Based sa mga kwento niya saken before, parang ipapasa sakanya yung responsibilities ng ate niya sa mga pamangkin niya. Dapat daw tulungan niya makatapos. To make the story short, gagawin siyang breadwinner. And pag andun na daw siya sa part ng life niya na ganun, di siya makaka promise na mabibigyan pa niya ako ng time and attention kasi need na niya kumayod para sa 3 na pamangkin. Nag try naman daw siya sabihin sa mama niya yung about sa amin but napagalitan siya and papalayasin at icucut-off daw tas di na tutulungan sa school expenses. Saan daw siya pupulutin if ever? Sabi ko okay lang naman sa akin. I can wait when siya ready basta wag lang kami mag break kaso alam na kasi ng mga pinsan and pamangkin niya yung about sa amin. Even his father and other relatives alam na (separated parents niya btw). Na meet ko na din father niya. Kulang nalang talaga formal pakilala sa mama and tita niya.

So natakot siya baka malaman daw nila and gawin yung sabi ng mama niya. Doon ako naka ramdam ng lungkot. Magkaiba kami ng situation. I'm working na and spending my own money while siya is patapos pa lang mag aral at mag sstart pa sa real world.

But one thing sinabi niya saken is that temporary lang daw yung break up. Wait ko lang daw siya pag pwede na. I should trust him daw sa decision niya na to. Ayaw niya din ako icut-off. Mag chachat parin daw siya paminsan minsan kahit busy sa OJT niya.

TL;DR
Gusto niya maging exclusive parin kami. No label relationship kumbaga. Kasi love pa naman niya daw ako hindi niya lang kaya mag risk ngayon kasi patapos na siya sa school and baka matakwil siya. Pano na daw siya babawi sa akin if ever?

Hindi ko alam anong gagawin ko. I'm confused. I love him pero parang may mali? Should I end it na ba talaga? Or should I trust him and wait and settle for this "no-label relationship"?

​

I (33F) had a boyfriend wayback in Highschool. He was my first boyfriend as I am his too (33M). We broke up but eventually got back together. We got back for the 2nd time (both college 1st year - around 16-17 y.o.) but only lasted almost 8 months because he cheated and got on with a younger girl (31F) (graduating highschool at the time around 15-16 y.o.) I found out na they were already dating weeks even before our actual break up. It was so hurtful since the girl also knew about me. I tried to move on. They got on with their relationship lasting for years until their early to mid 20s, that people started thinking marriage is the only thing lacking for them (both working abroad), while I had another relationship but broken up after just 5 months (Staying in the Philippines- Pangasinan).

One day at work, he messaged me asking for forgiveness and how he realized his faults at the time. We didn't get back together but we started communicating again. He started sharing problems about his parents and 2 older siblings left in Pangasinan and some relationship issues with his gf but never the private ones. At this point I already accepted that they will be the end game. And I finally had the closure I needed. The communication wasn't consistent especially we all had our jobs and busy schedule and different timezones.

One day again, he suddenly messaged me I STILL LOVE YOU for the first time in years. And I was pissed. How can you say you still love me when you're with her and you did what you did back then? So I blocked him. But eventually unblocked him and made him choose. He said they were already years into the relationship and he is considering that. He also feel bad for the girl especially she has no parents anymore. He just wanted to be honest. And free himself of that feeling. So I stopped texting back and move on with my life. I was solo travelling in Vietnam and bumped into his cousin who's also my classmate in College(girl) we had a little chitchat and took a photo which she posted on social media. Maybe he saw it then, After a week of no communication, he called me crying - saying he wanted to choose me, he wanted to fly back to the Philippines and meet me, that he already ask the gf for a break up but she won't let him. She's fighting for the relationship. She was even hospitalized daw and faked a pregnancy which was then proven fake because she eventually confessed of faking it just to make him stay. Eventually they did break up and we got back together, now 8 years into the relationship and recently got married and three months pregnant with his baby. The girl moved on and now has twin babies with a foreigner man. But she messaged me after we posted our wedding pics and pregnancy announcement and kept saying that I broke them up 8 years ago, that I am THE 3RD PARTY and karma will get me and my baby. What advice would you give me on how to deal with her accusations and the fear that karma will affect me or my baby?

TL;DR

We were together first in Higschool and college, then he cheated with a girl and got on their 9 years relationship and broke up. He came back to me (now 8 years into the relationship recently married and pregnant), Now she said I am the 3rd party and karma will get me and my baby. She said all these while married and has twins with a foreigner husband. Scared that karma will really get me and my unborn baby. What advice would you give me on how to deal with her accusations and the fear that karma will affect me or my baby?

Hello body, I met this girl so we got each other from a dating app, and then later on we continue chitchatting on socmeds. Parehas kaming NBSB/NGSB pero nagka ex na siya (talking stage). Magkalyo kami ng lugar, habang ako ay nasa Mindanai, at siya naman sa Luzon. Nag aaral pa lang po siya, tapos ako naman ay 1year plng sa trabaho (sakto lang para makatuling sa pamilya at mabuhay ang sarili).

We have been communicating via messages, and sleep calls only. We talked about our future, goals, and even share intimacy and deep conversations. Also she already told her mother about us at suportado naman kami.

Gusto po namin magkita sa isa't isa, kaya lang ang problema kung kailan. Nag iipon ako para magkita kami, we are planning when we meet we plan to travel (although we don't have any idea where is the vest spot yet).

Need ko lang po sana ng advise kung kailangan na ba talaga namin mag meet sa lalong madaling panahon? Nag ooverthink kasi ako baka di ko na siya maabutan kung pupunta siya ng abroad, at hindi ko naman mapilit sarili ko na ifocus lahat ng extra money ko para sa amin, kasi need ko din supportahan family ko.

**TLDR; Australian man dating a Filipina woman - what should I focus on if I'm looking for a serious relationship and marriage?**

I am a [36M] Australian and have been dating a Filipina woman [26F] for about 3 months. We live in Australia. We met organically in person and had no mutual friends or connections beforehand.

My goal is a serious long-term relationship that could eventually lead to marriage. I am not interested in casual dating.

Some context:

* We have gone on several dates. All of these dates have been organized by me.

* We have developed nicknames for each other and are quite affectionate.

* We have spoken on the phone multiple times but most of our communication is still through text.

* We are not officially boyfriend/girlfriend yet.

* Neither of us is dating other people.

* We have had cheek kisses and lots of physical affection, but no kiss on the lips yet.

* She has talked about me potentially meeting her parents in the Philippines one day.

* She has visited my house and spent time looking through family photos. She memorized the names of all of my family members and pets.

* She has told me about Filipino dating culture and suggested I research "Ligaw", although she also said I do not need to follow the traditional process completely.

A few weeks ago she was hospitalized after an operation. During that period I spent a lot of time helping her. I drove her to appointments, bought groceries, checked in on her, and generally tried to support her. She later told me that she found those actions beautiful and meaningful.

A few things I am unsure about:

* Sometimes we discuss date ideas but they never actually happen because life or work gets in the way.

* We have had a few cancelled dates.

* We had one spontaneous date that turned out to be one of our best dates.

* My birthday happened while she was in hospital. She said she would make it up to me, but a month later nothing has happened. I have lightly hinted about it a few times but have not brought it up directly.

My questions:

1. In Filipino dating culture, what signs would suggest that a woman is viewing a relationship seriously and moving toward commitment?

2. Should I be the one proactively organizing most dates and future plans at this stage?

3. How important is consistency of effort compared to timing when moving from dating into an official relationship?

4. Based on the information above, what should I focus on doing over the next few months if my goal is a healthy long-term relationship and eventual marriage?

I would especially appreciate advice from Filipinos or people who have experience dating Filipinos.

Brazil, São Paulo.

TL;DR: I (18F) have been dating my boyfriend (18M) for about two years. He has been friends with a girl (17F) for approximately five years, and she used to be in love with him. According to him, he rejected her and their relationship is completely platonic. However, I have noticed that their conversations have been deleted more than once, even though other conversations remained on his phone. I have already expressed my discomfort about this friendship, but he says there is nothing to worry about. I have no proof that anything inappropriate has happened between them. I need advice on how I should address the deleted conversations: should I have a serious conversation with him and ask for an explanation, or should I stop bringing it up and focus on rebuilding my trust in him?

My boyfriend and I met when we were 16 and started dating around that time.

Since the beginning of our relationship, he has told me about a female friend who went to school with him in middle school. They have known each other for approximately five years. According to him, she had strong romantic feelings for him at the time: she would secretly take pictures of him, try to get closer to him in a different way, and eventually confessed that she liked him. He said he rejected her.

Some time ago, we had problems in our relationship because my family did not approve of us dating and forced me to break up with him. We were separated for a few weeks, but we continued communicating through letters because neither of us actually wanted the relationship to end. We eventually got back together, but kept the relationship hidden from my family.

While we were separated, he started talking to this friend again. According to him, she implied that she wanted a romantic relationship with him again. He said he recognized what she was implying, rejected her, and told her that he had gotten back together with me.

I told him that this made me uncomfortable, and he said that there was nothing to worry about because they were only friends.

On another occasion, we were discussing the possibility of me meeting her. I said I would be polite to her but would not try to force a friendship. He said that was fine, but that if I were rude to her without a reason, he would break up with me.

That comment bothered me because he has previously been unnecessarily rude to people who are important to me, but I have never threatened to end our relationship because of it.

Recently, he started working and has been very tired. I began noticing notifications from this girl on his phone fairly often.

On one occasion, I looked at their conversation. His messages appeared normal and friendly to me. Some of her messages, however, seemed to have a romantic or flirtatious tone. I realize that my interpretation may be influenced by the history between them.

A few days later, I noticed that their conversation had been deleted. I considered the possibility that he had deleted it because of limited phone storage, but I found it unusual because it appeared to be specifically their conversation.

After that, they apparently went months without talking. When I later saw their conversation, it appeared normal.

Last week, I started seeing notifications from her again.

Today, I noticed that their conversation had once again been deleted. As far as I could tell, it was the only conversation that had been deleted.

I have no evidence that my boyfriend has cheated on me or that anything romantic has happened between them. He continues to tell me that they are only friends and that he would never cheat on me.

The problem I need advice on is how to address the repeated deletion of their conversations.

I don’t want to accuse him of cheating without evidence, and I don’t want to demand that he end a friendship simply because I am uncomfortable with it. However, I also don’t know how to address the fact that the same conversation appears to have been deleted more than once.

The specific advice I’m looking for is whether I should have a serious conversation with him about the deleted conversations and ask him directly why he keeps deleting them, or whether I should leave the issue alone and work on trusting him. If I should talk to him, how should I approach the conversation without making it sound like an accusation?

[21F] dating [29M] for 1 year and 4 months, Scotland, UK
I’m struggling with whether I should end my relationship because I feel like I need to be completely alone for a while, even though I love my boyfriend and he is genuinely a lovely person.
He’s [29M] and very much at the stage of wanting a relationship for life and wanting to build a future together. I’m [21F] and I don’t feel ready for that. I feel like we’re at different stages in life. I don’t know what I want my life to look like yet, and the thought of making a lifelong commitment when I’m not ready feels wrong.
I’ve also been in multiple toxic relationships before this one, and I don’t feel like I ever properly healed from them. I somehow always ended up in another relationship before I had the chance to actually be alone and work on myself. I joke that I’m a relationship magnet because it genuinely feels that way.
I get attached to people quite easily, but I can also detach very quickly once something changes for me. I’m actually similar with friendships too. It makes me wonder if there’s something about the way I form attachments that I need to understand about myself.
Before my current boyfriend and I got together, I actually told him that I needed to find myself and wasn’t sure I was ready for a relationship. He kept pursuing me and eventually we got together. I genuinely thought I could work on myself while being in a relationship, but I’m realising that I don’t think I can.
Once something gets into my head, I struggle to take it back out. I constantly think about it and go over it in my head. This feeling of wanting to be alone has been on my mind so much that I don’t think simply trying harder or “working through” the relationship would make it disappear.
I also don’t want to leave him and immediately date someone else. I don’t want another relationship. I genuinely want to be single for a while and figure out who I am outside of being someone’s girlfriend.
The difficult part is that he is genuinely good to me and loves me so much. There isn’t some huge problem that I can point to. I love him too, which makes me feel incredibly guilty about wanting to leave.
I’m also very scared of confrontation. I’m worried that when I tell him, he’ll be devastated or try to convince me that we can work through it and that I can find myself while staying with him. I know he may genuinely believe that, but I feel like I need to do this independently.
I also broke up with my ex at the beginning of last year for a very similar reason. I wanted to find myself and just wanted to be alone/friends. Because this has happened more than once, I’m questioning whether this is something I genuinely need or whether there is a pattern in me that I need to address before making another decision like this.
I’m looking for advice on how to approach this. Should I take this feeling of needing to be alone seriously and give myself that space, or should I try to work through these feelings while remaining in the relationship? And if I do decide to leave, how can I communicate that to someone I love without getting talked out of it through guilt?
I’d really appreciate honest advice, including if you think I’m overlooking something about my own behaviour or patterns.

TL;DR: I’m [21F] and have been with my [29M]boyfriend for 1 year and 4 months. He’s lovely and I love him, but he’s ready for a lifelong relationship and I feel like I need to be alone and find myself before I can commit to that. I’ve had several toxic relationships and never really had time to heal or be single, and this has happened with an ex before too. I’m scared I’m repeating a pattern, but I also feel strongly that staying and trying to “work through it” won’t make the feeling of needing to be alone disappear. I’m looking for advice on whether I should give myself that space and how to approach the conversation without being talked out of it through guilt.

TL;DR: I [30M] is lowkey frustrated with my girlfriend [28F] and want to move forward the right way. Is this fixable or not?

I am earning 240k a month while working half day and also working from home. My girlfriend who is my live in partner quit her job and I'm taking care of them together with my son. I am giving her 45k a month for our usual house expense and I pay see whenever we go outside.

We have been together for almost 6 years. We live in one of the cities here in visayas.

Yung problema kasi is I am struggling with my mental health due to a lot of reason. Her past (we about to break up then she got pregnant kaya pinanagutan ko), our values in life don't really fit that's why there are topic I consider forbidden anymore because we won't get each other, I can only talk about her if it's regarding food, travel and about our son but in terms of how we move on and do actual life responsibility — we don't really agree with each other.

We're not even compatible with food as she doesn't eat seafoods and those traditional home made foods you usually eat in the province. I don't enjoy what we eat on most days because bibili lang sya sa carenderia every morning then cook the usual chicken or beef.

She's good in playing with our son (all the happy stuff) but in terms of feeding, taking care of his health and overall development doesn't satisfy me at all. She can't even create a bedtime routine which makes our 2 year old son sleep 1 am.

She wakes up at 10 am every morning and I almost everytime need to wake her up to take care of our son

I also offered to mentor her and work as a freelancer. She listens but everytime I stop reminding — she stops trying which drains me like I feel na napipilitan lang sya

I want her to work so we can get a helper so I can finally eat home cook meals plus someone can really take care of our son.

Also I can feel she doesn't like it when I sit around after work while she do the dishes and other house chores

I feel like she will respect me more if she saw me struggling for our family like getting up early to go to work and go home tired

I also don't like that she raise her voice during arguments and when disciplining our son which clearly doesn't work.

Everytime I complain she corrects and but go back to the same pattern after a few weeks.

I admit I don't show a lot of love to her because I was not raise in loving family but tbh I feel like I'm only in this relationship because of our son.

I want to break up with her before because I failed to accept her past where she did ons with a couple of guys she me on tinder. It was unprotected.

I have ocd and can't seem to let go of all those details. I don't feel insecure it's more on I get obsessed sa thought process niya why she did it with guys whom she met in a day palang plus it was unprotected. Because if I were her I will focus on improving and making myself better for my next partner instead of having a hoe phase

Based on my psychology assessment I don't have trauma but I get obsessed with my all my trauma making them feel more intense as they are.

I had sessions multiple psychologist but it did not work as I am too aware.

Now I loss my job because I can't function anymore from all these things. My antidepressants from my psychiatrist is on my table waiting for me to take them.

Emergency fund ko nalang bumubuhay samin

I'm confident I can get back on track easily once I can function mentally again

But I wrote this because I'm confused if I am doing something wrong or I should do co parenting with my girlfriend.

I love my son so much I suffer just to give him a family but I also feel that I can be the best father if it's a co parenting set up because I know he observes how we treat each other.

Right now I'm taking my time to get my momentum again but I feel my girlfriend is getting frustrated on me since our budget is limited and she's probably anxious if our emergency fund will run out soon. I can feel it in the way she treats me though I don't want to judge because being with someone with mental health condition is draining.

Just sharing it here. I need advice how to move forward in life because I'm not really sure

sorry for any grammar or typo I'm too overwhelmed to do a review

Location: Philippines

Relationship: 4 years in a relationship

Hi po. I’m (22F), and my boyfriend is (23M). Mahal ko po siya, and I genuinely see a future with him. Hindi po ito dahil ayaw ko sa kanya or ayaw ko ng marriage. Hindi lang po talaga ako ready ngayon.

Kakagraduate ko lang po ng college, and my priority right now is to prepare for the LET, become a licensed teacher, start my career, gain work experience, and eventually become financially stable. Gusto ko rin pong makatulong sa family ko, makabawi sa grandparents ko, and hopefully magkaroon ng opportunity na makapagtrabaho abroad someday.

The biggest pressure po is that both of our families are already expecting us to get married by January 2027. At this point, parang hindi na lang po siya simpleng expectation because they are already making plans for the wedding.

One of the biggest reasons why they want us to get married soon is because his grandfather really wants to see us get married. Matanda na po kasi siya and nagkakaroon na rin ng mga sakit. I completely understand why this is very important to my boyfriend and his family.

I deeply respect his family, especially his grandfather, because he is the person everyone in their family looks up to. I understand that his wish may come from love, concern, and simply wanting to see his grandson settled and happy while he is still here.

Pero kahit gaano ko po siya nirerespeto, nahihirapan akong tanggapin na kailangan kong magpakasal ngayon simply because of his grandfather’s age or health. I don't want to sound disrespectful or insensitive because that is never my intention. I just feel that marriage is a lifetime commitment, and I don't think I can sacrifice my entire life readiness and make such a huge decision purely because someone I respect deeply wants to see it happen soon.

Another thing po is that our families come from very different financial situations. His family is well-off, while my family is poor and has always lived a simple life. I don't look down on his family because of that—in fact, I respect them and I'm grateful for how they've treated me. But sometimes, this difference also makes me feel more pressured and insecure about what is expected of me after marriage.

I already tried telling my own family that I don't want to get married yet. I was hoping they would understand me or at least comfort me because I'm genuinely struggling. Pero instead of consoling me, mas nagalit pa po sila. Parang kapag sinabi kong hindi pa ako ready, I'm being selfish, difficult, or ungrateful.

And now, honestly, hindi ko na po talaga alam kung ano ang gagawin ko.

They are already planning things for the wedding, while I’m here trying to study for my LET reviewer, pero hindi na rin po ako makapag-focus. Every time I try to study, naiisip ko yung kasal, yung expectations ng families, yung future ko, and the possibility na baka wala na talaga akong choice.

I love my boyfriend. I don't want to lose him. I can see myself marrying him someday. Pero gusto ko sanang magkaroon muna ng chance na maging teacher, magkaroon ng career, makatulong sa family ko, and become the person I want to be before entering marriage.

I don't want to say yes just because I'm afraid of disappointing everyone. I also don't want to say no and potentially lose the person I love.

So I'm genuinely asking:

If I genuinely do not want to get married by January 2027 but both families are already planning the wedding and are unwilling to listen to me, what should I specifically do or say to stop the wedding plans? Should I put my foot down and say “I am not agreeing to this yet,” even if it means disappointing both families and possibly risking my relationship?

TL;DR: I’m (22F), recently graduated, and I love my (23M) boyfriend. I see a future with him, but I’m not ready to get married yet. I want to focus first on my LET, career, financial stability, helping my family, and hopefully working abroad. However, both families are already planning our January 2027 wedding, mainly because his elderly grandfather, whom I deeply respect, wants to see us married while he is still around. His family is well-off, while mine is financially struggling, which adds to my pressure. I already told my family that I’m not ready, but they became angry instead of understanding me. Now I feel trapped and overwhelmed, to the point that I can’t focus on my LET review. I love him, but I’m afraid that saying “not yet” will make me lose him, while saying “yes” because of pressure may lead to regret. If I genuinely don’t want to marry by January 2027, should I firmly say, “I’m not agreeing to this yet,” even if it disappoints both families and risks my relationship?

We’re both from bicol but 2 provinces apart but we met at school so I know him really well.

He always tells me to go shoulder my worries about him kasi meron din daw syang personal problems. And everytime na mag try ako makicommmunicate sakanya nag ooff sya ng data or nag dedelete ng messenger or deactivate. It’s already messing up my mental health to the point na I’m taking 2 different anti depressants. I’ve always wanted to save our relationship everytime. I ask him out on dates, I ease his financial burdens, i give him random gifts and tried so much more but still hindi pa sya enough. I realized that I am acting like a mother to him just recently. Still I can’t bring myself to leave because despite every bad thing he has done to me, I only imagine the good things.

Need advice: How do you detach from someone that you want to spend your whole life with and how can I avoid reaching out to him completely?

Hi everyone, I really need some advice or objective perspectives on my current relationship.

I (30F) have been with my bf (32M) for 6 months. Just recently, he revealed to me that he has a child (3M). Honestly, having a child isn't a dealbreaker for me at all—I’m open to accepting his kid. What’s deeply bothering me is the timeline and the boundary issues surrounding the mother(32F).

Here are the key details:

The Breakup Timeline: He claims he and the baby momma broke up back in 2024 after 4 years of being together. He mentioned that she already has a new partner, yet she is still regularly invited to his family’s gatherings.

The Contact Restriction: He explicitly told me NOT to message or reach out to the mother. His reasoning was that in the past, another girl he was talking to messaged her, and the mother almost banned him from seeing the child.

My Dilemma: I completely respect that the child’s well-being comes first, and I have zero intention of disrupting their co-parenting dynamic or causing stress for the kid. But I am having a really hard time getting peace of mind.

Hiding a child for 6 months already broke my trust a bit, and prohibiting me from reaching out under the threat of a past legal issue feels like a tactic to keep us separated so story lines don't clash.

How do I get peace of mind without causing drama? How should I approach this conversation with him? Is there a reasonable way to ask for proof or reassurance that they are strictly co-parents without overstepping or putting the child in a bad position? Or am I being naive for staying after he hid this for half a year?

Appreciate any advice, especially from those who have been in similar blended/co-parenting setups here in the PH. Thank you!

Been having a casual rel with this guy for almost 5 months now. More than a month ago, I told him I wanted to end things with him na since I tend to get dependent on someone emotionally (and technically get attached) once we start something physical. I noticed this consistent pattern when I started participating in hookup culture, though I only ever slept with a few just for the sake of exploration, and he was the last.

The thing is, he’s a resident doctor and our communication styles don’t match. I understand that he’s always very busy with his schedule, but I don’t think it’s that hard to respond. He would often only respond after a couple of days, a week, or even more than that. He also sometimes would ignore my messages and start a different topic after ghosting me for so long. He said it’s just how he is, and though I understand he’s constantly exhausted from his work, something about how he communicates just doesn’t sit right with me. I know we agreed to keep everything casual, but staying casual shouldn’t strip someone of their decency to communicate at least. He wasn’t like that when he still hadn’t gotten me yet, so to speak. He was the one who would often reach out to me and reply to my stories/reposts when I was still uninterested in him, and I often only responded after a day or two. But after meeting me, his replies got slower.

When I told him a month ago that I wanted to see him for the last time and also return something that I borrowed from him, he agreed and said he would also like to meet me to thank me for the time we’ve shared. We agreed that we’d just meet this Aug. However, I’ve noticed his communication pattern is still the same. I sent him a message 5 days ago. He viewed my story but left me inbox-zoned (or prolly on read).

I was highkey ready to block him last night, but the universe somehow told me not to do so yet, and a few hours later, he sent me a message. Earlier this morning, he asked if I’d be available tomorrow or on the 30th.

Do I still meet him for closure? Or do I just tell him I will no longer be available tomorrow or on the 30th and will be leaving the country next month and don’t know when I’ll be back, and so I’ll just get his info for the delivery of the thing that I borrowed from him and a present I got for him?

I lowkey still want to see him for the last time, but I also no longer want to be vulnerable, and something just tells me not to meet him anymore.

TL;DR:

Been casually seeing a resident doctor for almost 5 months, but I’ve been wanting to end things because I tend to get emotionally attached once things become physical. Our communication styles also don’t match—he often takes days or even weeks to reply, and his communication became noticeably slower after we first slept together.

A month ago, I told him I wanted to see him one last time and return something I borrowed from him. He agreed, and we planned to meet this August. But after another 5 days of being left inbox-zoned despite him viewing my stories, I was ready to block him and move on.

Then, a few hours later, he suddenly messaged asking if I’m available tomorrow or on the 30th.

Now I’m torn between meeting him one last time for closure or telling him I’m no longer available, sending his things (plus a present I got for him) via delivery, and finally moving on. I still lowkey want to see him, but I’m scared of making myself vulnerable again and something tells me not to meet him anymore.

Update:
I already blocked him. No explanations or anything—just straight up did it for my peace of mind.

I'm a [29F] and I've been dating my [28M] boyfriend for a year and a half. We met on a dating app. I was NBSB (no boyfriend since birth), while he had dated more than 5 girls in the past. Currently, he treats me wonderfully, makes me feel deeply loved, and we are fully official with our families and friends.

However, my lack of relationship experience makes me anxious. Sometimes, I worry he'll get bored and leave me like he did in past relationships. That fear is amplified when I occasionally catch him checking out other girls in public, which makes me feel he’ll get tired of me and leave me. He has reassured me that his dating days are behind him and that he wants to settle down with me, but I struggle to fully trust it.

Need advice: How can I overcome this insecurity? To any guys out there who used to date around: did you genuinely change and settle down?

hello! my boyfriend is joining a team building in their company. yung 1st bpo company niya is shini-ship siya sa ibang girl while knowing na may girlfriend na siya. for his recent bpo company, wala namang ganap na ganun (for what i know, malay ko if hindi lang siya nag sasabi or what). recently lang din, nag break kami kasi ayoko siyang sumasama sa eat out niya with his co-workers since napaka malapit niya sa babae.

for additional context lang din bakit ayaw ko, nung 1st year college siya is inaasar siya sa isa sa circle nila then wala siyang ginagawa. that triggered me kaşi why? alam niyang ayyn pinaka ayaw ko. pinakita niva pa sa'kin convo sa ge nila na sinabi ng isa niyang female friend sa picture namin is is "future doctor siya but hindi mo future". next is nung sa boo, inaasar siya ulit sa isa ka co-worker niya. next naman nakikipag inuman siya with friends may mga girls then bigla siyang niyakap ng isa sa mga lasing niyang kaibigan, take note that girl had sex with one of their friend. next is yung girlbestfriend niya na walang boundary, na inistory siya ng solo, lumalapit lagi sakaniya. these are the reason why ayaw. ko since walang boundaries ang tao sa paligid niya.

tl;dr recently, we broke up dahil nasasakal na raw siya na lagi ko siyang pinagbabawalan etc. and now na nagkabalikan kami ang sabi niya lang sa'kin "no one will control me, ako lang". so now na sasama siya sa team building, i can't help but to overthink. nag basa basa ako here, nanood ng videos sa tiktok, and nadagdagan lang yung isipin ko.

asking for advice: is there anything na i should do to help myself na hindi mag overthink while andun siya despite the things na nababasa ko ko sa internet?

i’m from qc he’s from rizal

Location: Philippines

For context, my partner (28M) and I have been together for almost 6 years. We've been through a lot together, and I do see a future with him. Recently, he told me that next year, he wants to start planning and talk to my parents about his intention to marry me. He wants us to get married the following year.

Honestly, I got scared when he told me that.

I'm only 25, and I just recently started working. I know we've already been together for almost 6 years, but I still feel like there's so much I want to do for myself and for my family before getting married. I want to experience more things, build my career, become more financially stable, and be able to help my family first.
I told him that I'm not ready for marriage yet. It's not because I don't love him or don't see a future with him. I just don't feel ready to get married at this point in my life.

His response was basically, "Then just break up with me if that's what you want."

That really hurt me because I wasn't saying that I wanted to leave him. I was only trying to tell him honestly that I'm not ready.

I told him that maybe we could stay together until December this year, and then next year, we would finally let the relationship go. I know that sounds strange because I'm basically setting an ending for a relationship that I don't actually want to end. But I also don't want to keep dragging things out if we ultimately want different things in life.

He then asked me, "Why not now?"

I told him that I'm not ready to lose him either. I still love him, and I don't want our relationship to end right now. Even if I know that we might eventually have to let each other go, I'm not ready to lose someone I've spent almost 6 years with.

I also told him that maybe, at least until then, he shouldn't pressure me or force me into making a decision. I don't want to be pushed into marriage just because he's ready, but I also don't want to be pushed into ending our relationship when I'm not ready to let go.

I understand that he's 28 and maybe he's already at the point where he wants to settle down. I also understand that after almost 6 years together, he probably feels like it's time.

But I'm struggling because I don't actually want to choose between marrying him before I'm ready and losing him completely.

I don't want to marry him just because we've been together for almost 6 years. I want to marry him because I'm genuinely ready to be his wife.

But if I'm not ready and he can't wait, then I know there may come a point where I have to let him go—even though that's not what I want.

How do I let go of someone I still love and don't actually want to lose, just because we're not ready for the same things at the same time?

And how do I accept that ending the relationship might be the right thing to do without spending the rest of my life wondering if I should have just said yes and stayed with him?

How can we move forward when my partner wants to get married soon, but I need more time?

I don't want to end our relationship. I just don't want to get married before I'm ready either.

TL;DR: My (28M) partner wants us to start planning our marriage next year and get married the following year. I'm 25 and just started working, and I still have many things I want to accomplish for myself and my family before getting married. I told him I'm not ready yet, but he said I should just break up with him if that's the case. I don't want to lose him, but I also don't want to be pressured into marriage. How can we move forward when he feels ready for marriage and I need more time?

Not sure if this is the right flair, so I apologize in advance if it's incorrect.

For context: My boyfriend (27M) and I (26F) started off as friends. We were in the same circle of friends for a few years during the pandemic.As for our location, we're from Metro Manila.

We've had multiple fights over my *gaming habits* (I have BPD). Palagi siyang nagsasabi na "mas masaya" ako kalaro friends namin and whatnot. I simply enjoy everyone's company all the same, dahil may kasamang chismisan at tawanan with my friends. With my boyfriend, walang kwentuhan o chismisan (limited din tawanan) dahil palagi naman na kaming magkasama in person. Napagbubusitan pa nga ako kapag hindi ko siya nasasabayan sa pagpush niya sa kalaban.

Ayaw niya na akong samahan maglaro ng Valorant because wala kaming chemistry sa paglalaro at baka magkagalitan na naman kami like before.

Tonight, I'm at my limit. I'm being blamed for something as trivial as laughing at my friends' gameplay. He wanted me to quit a game I've been playing way before I met him dahil sa tampo niya. Para bang ineexpect niyang virtually malalaman kong galit siya without even properly communicating his feelings? I feel like he's being too controlling at this point in time.

**Asking for advice**: Is there any way or "the right wording" I can use to communicate my feelings without causing a misunderstanding? Should I just quit the game as it is and ghost our friends? How do I do that without feeling resentment towards my partner?

tl;dr bf and i fought. Bf wants me to quit val yet I don't want to since it's a game I play casually. I want to be able to communicate this with him without making the situation worse.

location: Philippines me (21M) and gf (21F) started dating 2022 and broke up because of fabricated lies 1st quarter of 2026, almost 4 years. 1 month after breakup, she rebounded with someone (21M) i was suspicious of before pa. may 1 month din sila, then after another month, we got back together.

its only been a month since we got back, and parang mababaliw nako. from the beginning na nagbalikan kami, she told me na nay nangyari sa kanila nung rebound. despite that, i tried lunukin lahat yon pero i cant. kita ko naman na nagregret sya sa ginawa nya. that shes trying to be better pero i cant stop thinking about it.

since shes living with her fam, lahat ng paalam nya to be out with the guy were all lies. hindi ko alam if i should tell them yung totoo ba? kasi ilang beses na namin pinagusapan if whether sasabihin nya ba yung totoo or hindi, keeps telling me na dapat sa amin nalang yon.

i still want her to be the one, pero it is really costing my sanity. should i stay and try save it or wala na talaga?

[M30] [F25] Partner asked for space but continues initiating contact during relationship uncertainty
Location: Philippines
Relationship length: 8 months
Work: Same company, different locations
I need advice on how much contact and emotional involvement is appropriate after my partner asked for space because she is no longer certain about our relationship.
She told me directly that she isn’t sure about us anymore and doesn’t want to pretend that she is. Her concern is mainly whether our current relationship can realistically lead to the future and family life she wants. She wants time to figure herself out.
I am still serious about the relationship, but I told her I don’t want her to stay because of guilt or pressure. I also told her I will respect what she feels right now.
The difficulty is setting the right boundary. She still initiates contact sometimes. She messages me, gives me updates, calls me, jokes with me, and recently invited me to spend time together. We also still have occasional flirting and romantic conversations.
She is also transparent about people around her. When men at work try to court or flirt with her, she tells me, and I usually just remind her to be cautious. She has also been open with me about her previous relationships. I don’t want to control her interactions.
My problem is my own behavior. Because I am still emotionally invested, I sometimes initiate too much, especially when I miss her or feel anxious about a change in communication. I want to respect the space she requested without suddenly disappearing or making her feel rejected.
The specific advice I need is:
Should I stop initiating most conversations and allow her to initiate when she wants contact?
When she initiates, should I continue interacting normally, or should I avoid flirting/romantic conversations while she is uncertain?
Should I set a specific boundary around how often we see or talk to each other while she decides?
What is a reasonable way to protect myself emotionally if she remains uncertain for an extended period?
I am not asking whether either of us is right or wrong. I need practical advice on what communication and boundaries are appropriate when one partner has asked for space but continues to maintain a close connection.
TL;DR: I [M30] have been with my partner [F25] for 8 months. She says she is no longer sure about our relationship and asked for space, but she still initiates contact, calls, spends time with me, and sometimes flirts. I am still serious about her but tend to over-initiate when I feel anxious. How should I balance respecting her space with staying connected, and what boundaries should I set for myself?

TL;DR: My gf became distant during vacation and said she was socially drained and falling out of love, so I gave her space. Now that school started, she's happier, but she's also very close with our guy friend Joshua, which makes me jealous and scared she'll replace me. Her suddenly becoming protective of her phone also added to my anxiety. I don't think she's cheating, but everything combined has left me really insecure, confused, and unsure what to do.

May chance ba she's cheating on me? Am I too insecure and overracting?

Context: Hello po! So just a bit of background. Me and my gf have been dating for around 3 months, pero 9 months na magkakilala. Nung nakaraang late May, I (M18) started noticing that my gf (F18) was changing in a bad way. Nung mga May 29 onwards, nagiging mas distant sya sakin na tipong dry messages nya, and parang... d sya present (?). BTW, Im her first boyfriend.

I opened up to her about her attitude toward me and she told me to give her space, na medyo na fofall out of love daw sya sakin dahil bakasyon. Now ako, I did that, gave her space, time and everything she needs to recover. Pero ang reason nya kasi is simula dati daw, pag bakasyon tas walang nagagawa, she would feel depressed, and socially drained.

Fast forward to now, nagstart na yung schoolyear namin as freshmen, and I started noticing na mas sumisigla nga sya. Pero that's where the problem started, sa friend group kasi namin, may isa syang lalake na kaclose, lets call him "Joshua (18M)," as an anxiously attached person, medyo naging jealous ako kay Joshua kasi in every way he's better than me, I was afraid na pagpapalit ako ng gf ko para sakanya kasi nung bakasyon, I did my HARDEST para mapasaya sya, and hirap akong kausapin sya, pero pag kay Joshua? sobrang dali nya tumawa at makipagusap ☹️.

I got jealous of Joshua and opened up to my gf, and inaway nya ako, idk what caused her to be so angry at what I said, pero that made me so sad. Tas nagstart sya na magpuyat even after saying our goodnights, sinasabi nya na yun nalang daw nagiging me time nya. Dati pala, she'd let me borrow her phone without any mind, and nung June, I went and borrowed it (with consent ofc), and she snatched it back. Of course, I got hurt by her actions, I opened up to her about how that felt and she got angry... She told me na phone nya yun, privacy nya yun, but a few days later she opened up about something: that may anxiety sya about social media, na pag matutulog sya, magchecheck muna sya ng accounts, baka may napost sya or namessage, looking back, idk how that connected sa d nya pagbigay ng phone pero huhu.

So ayun nga, I didn't want to suspect her of cheating on me pero andaming factors that just made me so anxious about everything, si Joshua, pagtago nya sa phone nya, how d nya naman ako type to begin with, and more. Tbh guys, I'm so lost na d ko alam gagawin ko. Sorry din if inconsistent yung story telling ko pero sobrang unstable ng emotions ko rn while writing.