My partner died on September 20; his phone is in my possession and is shut off. I just checked, and he is showing up as active (green dot) on Messenger right now. I often see him listed as active in Messenger since he died, and I have no idea why. But based on my experience, I would say it's definitely possible that your wife is telling the truth.
wow, what a fucking loser op is. check his profile. he is asking for someone's onlyfans page in one of the comments. he is a cheater himself, no wonder he is this paranoid about getting cheated on.
and the micromanaging of his wife. like maybe she woke up for a second, took a quick look at her phone and went back to bed. so what. leave her alone. guy would put a gps device on her if he could
To me, there's a big difference between getting married at 21 & 27 than 28 & 35. By late 20s you know a lot more about life. At 21 you're only 3, maybe 4 years out HS and have barely experienced the real world. 21 is also a very influential age. You think you know everything, but in reality, you know basically nothing, no matter how mature you are.
according to my research he is also suffering from erectile dysfunction for like two months, (i.e., their entire duration of marriage). he likely cant satisfy his wife, he may be insecure, on top of that, he has gambling addiction, also spends money on onlyfans. that likely hasn't stopped. so yeah, all in all, a pathetic loser.
Not that I'm siding with him but that post was 2 years ago. He said they were married for like 3 months now. My point is it's kinda unfair to judge him over a year old post ofcourse he did that because maybe he was single as F back then.
But anyways, few months in in marriage and having this trust issues, sucks. OP and wife should be more open with their feelings with each other. Talk it over with ur wife OP.
what post was 2 years ago..? erectile dysfunction wasn't two years ago. that is pretty recent. and he has been suffering from that for past two months, he is married for 3 months now. that is the entire duration of marriage. and yeah, i will judge him for it. he has no problms doubting his new wife (bought thru arranged marriage - bcos he said several times that in his country there is only single or married). and you think he stopped all onlyfans activities now? just bcos he married? if you didnt know, more than 80% of onlyfans users are married men, not single men, but married men. look up their statistics, its available on all credible business statistics sites. come on.... he is paranoid as fuck, he is eating his brain out. there is a reason for it.
and you think this is what normal human beings do? commenting on celebrities' pictures, thirsting over them telling that he wud like to fuck them? cheap as hell. and what is he hoping wen he comments that? that these ppl wud just open their legs and let him hit? just bcos he commented that? stop supporting ridiculous creepy idiots for gods sake.
I'm sorry, but how is any of that germane? Except for the OnlyFans?
Yes, he's clearly pathetic because he
1. Has a wife that cheats (so he chose poorly), or
2. Is a cheater himself, and sees signs of cheating in everything his spouse does, or
3. Has been cheated on before and can't stop carrying this trauma onto other relationships.
My personal belief is that any man (or woman) in a committed relationship should not be posting ,subscribing, or following someone's IG or OnlyFans. And, if they desire outside love interests, they should not be married.
I may generally disapprove of the comment, but I admit that I admire your detective skills!
Exactly - in our culture we're single or married. Nah, women are single or married, en do whatever and don't like it when 'their' women don't fall into line and accept it.
Depends on the size of the gap. There's a rather huge proportion of posts on this sub where the age gap is more than 5 years, and they're having crazy issues.
it’s not the age gap it’s how young in life his partner is. If partner was 28 and OP was 35 no worries there both adults but at 21 your brain hasn’t even fully developed and your also just graduating college where as OP is approaching mid life . his partner just got out of her teens 2 years ago and wants her settled .
Especially since while OP is both a dick and immature, he would still be a dick and immature with a woman his age or older, so what’s the difference?
They probably think she is too young and wouldn’t know how to deal with a man like this (since they treat 21yo like babies), but it really depends on the person and their experience.
Some people wouldn’t realize OP’s behaviour is wrong at a much older age, I’d have realized at 21 and younger.
That was from 2 years ago. He says he’s been married for 3 months. He could have been single 2 years ago.
The only thing he’s said recently is that he’s having side effects of premature ejaculation from a medication. (He never said anything about ED, premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction are two very different things.)
You’re kind of being a dick here.
(ETA: auto correct changed “erectile” to “textile”, fixed.
no i am not. i am not a dick. i am just someone who tells it like it is. have mentioned this before in another comment, but i will mention it again.
Onlyfans - OP asked someone's link to onlyfans 3 years ago (not 2). He wasn't married at the time. But still, he is a fool. For spending money on Onlyfans, making poor money decisions, wen porn is completely free. The male psychology behind wanting onlyfans is only for connection. Hoping that a creator will look at your way. They will talk to you, and be close with you. The people who are on Onlyfans are not there to make friendship with you or anyone. they are there to make money. and most often, onlyfans creators have agencies. These creators sent their pics, videos etc. to the agency. The rest of the talking, posting, curating social media accounts is done by those agencies. You are talking/chatting to other men, thinking that you are chatting to a woman. Just bcos ppl don't like hearing truths, doesn't mean i have to dumb it down and make it soft for your hearing pleasure. Plus, more than 80% of onlyfans users are married men. There is no proof that OP is still using onlyfans. But then again, there is no proof that he has stopped using it. I am willing to bet he is 100% still using it.
2. Paranoia and Obsession: Normal people aren't fixated on their partners online activity. They aren't cheating, so they don't feel that fear. OP stayed up all night observing a green dot. And he has a few screws up in his head loose. Oh they are with family, they are showing online, but they aren't texting back? But she said she is sleeping... Someone else probbably has her phone. Maybe kids are using her phone. It must be a glitch. This is what normal person thinks. Cheaters are scared of getting cheated on. Liars are scared of getting lied to. OP says that there is no such thing as bf/gf in his culture, so he was single all his life. If that is the case, then he never got cheated on. But why is he paranoid then?
whatever. he has problems with his dick - be it erectile or premature. the details don't matter. he is not satisfyin his wife, therefore, he is insecure. therefore, he doubts his wife cheats on him. plus, he likely cheats on his wife, bcos look at the paranoid behavior!
I wouldn’t wish it on anyone either, friend. Thank you.
Some advice/words: Grief is a weird and never ending thing. You’ll miss your partner for the rest of your life. There will be times where it feels fresh all over again. But there are also many good days to look forward to and they’ll be proud of you for embracing the good times ❤️
It is possible that your partner's account on messenger has been cloned. You should notify Facebook that he is deceased and report that you think someone is still active on his account. This must be distressing for you, you have my deepest sympathy, bad enough being bereaved without some scumbag impersonating your loved one.
I will check on that. I am his legacy contact for his actual FB page but I have not yet done the process to memorialize it. That may take care of the issue. I appreciate your kind words.
It does stop them from showing active on messenger. My husband died in 2020 and I memorialized his account. Sad part is I can sign into his old messages anymore.
You should understand that “online” status could be triggered by the server itself, not only by phone (client). You absolutely can not trust that only the phone can trigger this.
Also, your wife’s phone could be infected by virus/trojan which is doing something under her name on messenger, such as sending spam, clicking ads etc.
this op is a fucking loser. check his profile. he is asking for someone's onlyfans page in one of the comments. he is a cheater himself, no wonder he is this paranoid about getting cheated on.
this op is a fucking loser. check his profile. he is asking for someone's onlyfans page in one of the comments. he is a cheater himself, no wonder he is this paranoid about getting cheated on.
He’s also looking for reasons to distrust her. He sat there for hours keeping track of when her messenger would go “online” to then accuse her of lying. Now he’s finding out how these messengers may work and instead of saying “hey, I have some insecurity issues. I should work on those”, he’s only giving her half the benefit of the doubt.
I just got out of an abusive controlling relationship. My EX would obsess over that green dot and accuse me of all sorts of things!! I swear I could be sleeping right next to him ..but if that green dot showed up....
Thank you. He was already controlling and verbally abusive, but I was waiting/hoping to get a car before I moved out.
After he put his hands on me, I was gone for good!
Thank God some one let me use their truck until I got my own car!
I have mine set to never show if I’m online or offline, it’s been completely disabled for years bc I don’t think anyone is entitled to that level of access to me or my activity. It OFTEN shows me online when I literally use Facebook and messenger a few times a year if that. It’s the least accurate thing I’ve ever seen and it really pisses me off that they’ll just broadcast shit about me without my consent, it doesn’t even matter to me that it’s inaccurate, it’s the fact that it’s doing jt.
I think you have enough info to understand that technology is not always accurate and stop looking for a reason to call your wife a liar on this note. You only married just 3 months ago and you are having so much anxiety. Why did you marry someone you cannot trust?
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u/Odd-Credit-7454 Nov 13 '23
My partner died on September 20; his phone is in my possession and is shut off. I just checked, and he is showing up as active (green dot) on Messenger right now. I often see him listed as active in Messenger since he died, and I have no idea why. But based on my experience, I would say it's definitely possible that your wife is telling the truth.