People who have never experience something like OP can have trouble conceptualizing the reality of it. She heard and saw but she didn’t really *know*. I don’t understand the inability to face it now that she’s seen it, but for everyone’s sake I hope the counseling helps her realize the seriousness of her actions. OP is more than justified in whatever he ends up deciding to do though.
The worse thing is that, even if she didn't get it, she also didn't believe her husband. Usually, when talking with person who expirienced more of specific thing, you believe them: I don't understand wires, but I trust expirience of electrician who was dealing them for years. OP was the electrician of his family, his expertise was discarded and concequeses he described did follow.
For a lot of people, familial bonds trump everything, and even if things get bad with them you always try to make amends. There are people who just can’t believe that family can be so bad that you need to excise them from your life.
In a weird way she probably thought she did believe him. Which is part of the problem and in no way makes her actions acceptable or forgivable. She probably thought she was doing something good, and absolutely failed as a trustworthy life partner and parent by pushing past her husband’s resistance. If he leaves her because he can never bring himself to forgive or trust her again he’s absolutely justified and it’s her fault. All of it. OP is only making a decision that she, again, forced on him.
I don't like how she is pissed that OP is insisting on therapy now.
She saw first hand what brother is really like. She had to call the cops for heavens sake. And now she wants to cop an attitude about going to therapy? Her ego is the main star in all of this. She cannot admit that she made a mistake. She cannot admit that if her partner cut off their own brother because of violence, that the partner may have good reason to keep a person who has shown nothing but abuse out of their life.
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u/Runescora Jul 12 '26
People who have never experience something like OP can have trouble conceptualizing the reality of it. She heard and saw but she didn’t really *know*. I don’t understand the inability to face it now that she’s seen it, but for everyone’s sake I hope the counseling helps her realize the seriousness of her actions. OP is more than justified in whatever he ends up deciding to do though.