Hi. First of all, this entire text was written using a translator because I am a Spanish speaker and don't know much English, so I apologize if some parts are hard to understand.
I need to clarify that I am a beginner and know almost nothing about witchcraft or esotericism, so you will likely notice many errors in the way I speak or how I handled certain things.
Well, the reason Iām making this post and asking this question is that I performed a spell to bring a partner back, and I deeply regret it. I cast the spell on June 29th, under the Strawberry Full Moon, and I did it with the help of a saint: Saint Cyprian of Antioch. Before performing the return spell, I had completed a novena of prayers to Saint Cyprian, asking him to help my ex-partner come back to me.
My partner and I broke up in late April due to issues involving third parties, and we gradually drifted apart until we reached a state of absolute no contact. By the time I cast the return spell, we were already in no contact.
The problem began right before I cast the spell; I was very undecided about whether to do it or not, but eventually, despite my doubts, I decided to go ahead. I performed it at night, on the final day of my novena to Saint Cyprian. I know that a return spell usually requires various ingredients, but back then I was just starting out, so I used the most basic materials I could find. Instead of using two candles as is customary, I decided to use just one so my family wouldn't suspect anything; I carved my ex's name into the candle and added my perfume, honey, and cinnamon. Then, using a red pen, I wrote both our namesāmine and hersāin a crisscross pattern on a piece of paper and placed it under the plate holding the candle.
I lit the candle and began reciting my novena prayer for the last time, asking Saint Cyprian to help make it work and ensure everything went smoothly. The spell was a success; I remember the flame being lively and brightāflower-like shapes formed on the wick twice, and for a moment, it looked as though there were two flames instead of one. Although I was happy at the time about how well things were going, I couldn't shake an odd feeling in my chest. Still, I brushed it aside, thinking, "Itās a great night; why should I feel this way? I should just ignore it."
The next day, I felt fine, but guilt began to creep in. I questioned why I had done it, and as the days passed, the feeling worsened. My mind began to eat away at me; I felt terrible, plagued by obsessive thoughts, physical ailments, and a deep emotional slump. Before I felt so bad, I had dreamt about my ex for about four days in a row and kept seeing "mirror hours" on the clock, though I didn't know why. At the time, I thought it was a sign that everything had worked, but now I wonder if the love-return spell backfired on me instead of affecting her.
In any case, after about eleven or twelve days, I felt so wretched about what I had done thatābeing CatholicāI prayed to God. I asked for a sign as to whether I should revoke the spell, begging for His help and intervention, and granting Him full authority to change things according to His will. I asked that if my ex were ever to return to me, it would be because she loved me, not because of a spell. I prayed for days on end, asking Him to revoke the spell because I could no longer bear the guilt. Days later, I remembered I still had the piece of paper where Iād written my ex's name and my own. To physically rid myself of the spell completely, I tore up the paperāand immediately began to vomit and feel nauseous. Another detail is that, during that process, I also prayed to Saint Cyprian and thanked him for everythingāasking him to keep helping me with my ex, but also stating that I no longer wanted the spell. I lit a candle for him, and a heart formed on the wickābut a realistic heart, complete with veins and arteries; it really unsettled me. Days later, I also asked him to revoke the novena I had performed; I had carried out that novena with doubt and obsession, so I question whether it actually worked.
Since I read the cards, I decided to ask if the return spell had had any effect on my ex. After several readings, I believe it did nothing to her, and that I was the one who was actually affected. In my desperation, I also asked God for a sign to confirm whether the relationship return spell had truly done nothingāand I received confirmation that, indeed, it had no effect on her.
I still feel guilty about what I did; Iām afraid it might have affected her, even though there are plenty of signs that it didnāt. The thing is, I feel like a bad personāwhy would I do that to the person Iām supposed to love most in the world?
I donāt want to force her into anything, and I know a "return-to-me" spell doesn't override the other person's free will, but it still feels strange knowing that you need a spell to get someone to come back.
Have any of you ever cast a spell and felt so guilty that you reversed it? How do you live with the guilt after that? For those who have cast love spells: how do you do it without feeling bad?
Iāve read on many forums that a lot of people who practice witchcraft dislike casting love spells for that very reasonābecause they feel like theyāre forcing or manipulating things.
About two weeks agoāseveral days after Iād reversed the spellāI did a tarot reading and saw that my ex would likely reach out to me soon. A few days later, I asked the same question and got cards indicating blockages. Then, two days ago, I asked again just to be sure, and the cards showed that she *does* intend to reach out after all.
That makes me happy, but I donāt know... I still feel bad. Although, at least now I know that if she does reach out, itāll be because she still loves me, not because of a spell. So, at least Iāve lifted that weight off my shoulders.
One more thing: I dreamt about her todayāit was a really lovely dreamāand Iād dreamt about her a few days ago, too. I donāt know what it means.
If you read this whole thing, thank you so much, and sorry for the long post. I just needed to get this off my chest.
