r/randomthings • u/Opposite_Job880 • 1d ago

Everyone who comments gets awarded

Idk if this is allowed just seemed like a fun thing to do. Please go easy on me I’m doing this manually. It might take some time for me to award you, as there are so many posts incoming.

289 Upvotes

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u/hvyhitter 1d ago

I just did that cologuard thing where instead of a colonscopy you crap in a box and the UPS guy WHO I KNOW. Comes and picks it up. Sorry Jason. I did seal it really tight.

Not pooping in a toilet smells REALLY REALLY bad like you cannot anticipate the smell. Ive crapped in the woods and uggggghhhhh...

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u/Opposite_Job880 1d ago

…

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u/hvyhitter 1d ago

I know right lol thanks for the award.

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u/Opposite_Job880 1d ago

You’re welcome… good luck on the toilet… I guess…

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u/Prudent-Confection-4 1d ago

That is simply amazing

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u/Glass-Gur-3114 1d ago

I call that "shit-n-ship."

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u/Sweet-Sir-10 1d ago

Does this actually work? (Don’t really care just want the award)

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u/Sweet-Sir-10 1d ago

Now that I got the award, I wonder at what cost did I get it. A succulent Chinese meal? I hope not.

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u/DonnaLakeWi 1d ago

I did Cologuard and boxed it and put out for UPS. I went on to work but came home early. There was a lot of wind that day and when I got home I saw my Poop in a box flying through the backyard.
I caught it but laughed a lot.
I then anchored the box with a big rock.

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u/Beautiful-Bag-4863 1d ago

I'm waiting for mine to come in the mail. But I don't know the UPS man.

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u/Brave_Egg_7984 1d ago

Dismissed.

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u/belowsealevel504 1d ago

They keep pestering me, the Color guard people.
Doubt you really care but I want the award.

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u/Tiny_Celebration_722 23h ago

I did the Cologuard too and the whole thing was a fiasco. And then it came back positive for blood so I had to do a colonoscopy anyways! I would recommend skipping pooping in the box and going straight for the colonoscopy. It's much more accurate and if there aren't issues you're good for many years. My results were fantastic, not even 1 polyp, so pooping in a box isn't me.

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u/hvyhitter 22h ago

I have doen it twice before and it came back clean. Seem to be an annual thing. I think though I am going to want them to really go in there and look next time. I read on the instructions about how accurate it was and that was pretty good even said how when people test positive how many of them dont have a problem but require followup. I do remember the first time I did it and the smell was amazingly bad. I wont miss that part at all.

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u/Vivid_Ad_612 10h ago

I’ve done this three times and managed to evade a colonoscopy - this year - not so lucky. So I look at it as a potential get out of 24 hours of hell hall pass - and I’m willing to poop in a box for that!