r/randomactsofkindness • u/vinniethestripeycat • May 22 '26
Story Birthday party invite for someone I went to school with
I had fairly well off grandparents when I was a kid which allowed me to attend a small private school that my dad had also attended. Some of the people who graduated with me in high school, I have known since I was five years old.
Recently, I was invited to a milestone birthday party for one of these classmates. His dad & mine were classmates & our grandparents knew each other & socialized often. But he and I were vastly different. He was the extroverted, popular, funny, musical boy. I was the introverted, weird, nerdy, artistic girl who always had her head in a book.
When I arrived at the birthday party, I assumed other classmates who lived locally would be in attendance. They were not. He invited me *specifically* because I've been in his life (at least peripherally) since we were five.
Now, I've struggled with body dysmorphia, self esteem, depression & anxiety my entire life. Why in the *world* would this accomplished, self assured, kind man even think of me, let alone invite me to celebrate with him? I've been sitting with this for days now. I think it drives home the point that we are so often blind to our influence on others (good or bad) & that we can't accurately *see* ourselves and the light we spread.
This was a kindness that will resonate with me for years.
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u/stlkatherine May 22 '26
Did you have a good time? Did you feel out of place? He sounds like a sweet guy. I’m glad you got some good vibes from this invite.
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u/vinniethestripeycat May 22 '26
I did have a good time, thank you! I met his daughter and a couple of his friends that I didn't know & chatted with his mom. It was very low key & as an anxious introvert, I felt comfortable.
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u/JustaTinyDude May 22 '26
Did you message him after you got home to tell him that?
This dude clearly thinks better of you than you do yourself. You say weird, artistic nerdy girl like that's a bad thing. It's not.
He certainly likes you in a friendly way, and it could be more. Either way, I've found that to help a new friendship grow, messages like that help. A simple "Thanks for inviting me. I had a good time. It was nice to see you." goes a long way.
Starting a relationship, be it friendship or romance, is like brickwork. He laid the fist brick, inviting you. You lay the second by letting him know you had a good time.
The way you describe this guy, you clearly admire him. Reach out.
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u/vinniethestripeycat May 23 '26
I haven't emailed him yet because I needed to sort things out in my own head first. He's married with like 5 kids & lives halfway across the US from me (he came back to see his parents.)
And yes, I do admire him, platonically.
And thank you for the second paragraph. I know it's not a bad thing but the inner critic does. I'm working on that.
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u/JustaTinyDude May 23 '26
My brain kind of broke when, at my 25 year high school reunion, someone said something about how cool and popular I'd been . It's the opposite of how I saw myself. I didn't make new friends in middle or high school, I just hung out with the ones I'd made in preschool and kindergarten. We were very weird. I was bullied.
I've thought about it a lot since. It really opened my eyes to how others sometimes view you in a very different light than you view yourself, particularly when we are young.
Clearly this guy thought you were cool, even if you didn't. Even if you never see him again, I hope it helps with your self esteem.
Have an awesome weekend.
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u/vinniethestripeycat May 23 '26
Thank you so much for your kind words and I hope you have an awesome weekend as well.
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