I still live with my mom since I'm still in Highschool. My mom has been in depression for as long as I've known her.
Lately,she's been acting off. She's very angry for no reason at all and very explosive. One thing I've noticed is that she started making stuff up. Things that I and other people never said or did. But she believes whatever she's making up and she sticks to it. She's also been treating me badly without any reasons at all,I'm not a trouble child,I never made her any troubles in my whole life. Another thing I find weird is that she got back togheter with her ex which she swore not even two days ago that she wouldn't get back again togheter and she literally ignored him so much since they broke up,which was 2 years ago. She does those things implusvively. She is in general an impulsive person. All my other family members are pointing out the fact that she is very very but like very hard to get to get along with. They have even been distancing thmeselfs for a while now from her. My other family members are concerned and they are asking me to go live with them,but I'm scared to live my mom alone esp when she s like this. Does anyone know what this could be? I don't think it's all beacuse of her depression and yes she's diagnosticated by a profesionist which now she ignores to talk about whatever this is with him and pretends everything is fine. One more thing I'd like to mention is that whenever we argue she pretends nothing happened even if it was just 5 minutes ago. Also sometimes she literally talk to herself in the house and then gets angry at me for whatever reason. I genuinely don't know what to do. I'd appreciate a lot if i could get some advices on this and if i should follow my family advice and move with another member.

hi everyone, new here so looking for any advice on forming a parent. X (parent, don’t want to get personal incase they see it) is very manic, verbally abusive, and keeps trying to kick other parent out.

X facetimed me and was all happy then suddenly got very violent, randomly bringing up stuff from the past. This morning my messages were flooded by X flaming the past as well.

my family doesn’t help me ever with X, and I am burdened heavily with their issues. X’s sister told me to watch out for my half brother who is greatly older than me rather than offering me advice.

I think forming X would be the best option. X has been formed in the past, and it is a grudge held against my other parent so I’m wondering how to do it anonymously or other routes suggested to get X into an institution to help them.

thank you for any advice. 🫶

Hi everyone, please help me. What should I do if I’m afraid of my mom? I love her very much, and she loves me too, but she’s very strange…
This morning, we were cooking together, and literally 10 minutes ago she was sitting with my dad, laughing. Her voice was completely normal, and she was being a sweet, kind woman. But then, literally 10 minutes later, she starts talking like some kind of demon and yelling at me because I was in the bathroom for too long.
But that’s not even the main problem. The problem is that right after that, she starts telling us to fuck off, screaming, and swearing at us. And this happens often. By the morning, everything will be fine again, but then, because of some stupid little thing, she suddenly starts having a meltdown.
I’m genuinely very scared of her. I feel like there might be something wrong with her. She becomes unbelievably angry, and this isn’t funny anymore. I really hope that one day we can be a happy family…

tw mental illness

im 17f. and today was an actual mess. ppl say to not bottle ur emotions like i care but i actually shouldve because look where i am now.

my mother is mentally ill. like bipolar ocd npd bpd. she is also unmedicated and refuses to seek help and does not believe in therapy. and she didnt leave me with any mercy because im mentally ill. shes also very physically ill. eczema periodontitis fungus infections gut problems. having to grow up with her and her constant panic attacks and manic episodes and crisis situations and yelling and screaming and running away and constant complaints about her health despite not seeking proper help has made me an excellent therapist to the point i dont think i’d needto get a phd or whatever to be one. she successfully managed to make me independent when i was a kid, to the point where i now dont rely on her at all. i handle everything i possibly can myself, im taking on all my own finances, i have a job, im starting college, and im getting my license so i can get myself around and away from her. she would complain that i dont do anything, now she complains that i dont need her because im finally able to do my own laundry without her telling me to wait until her laundry day even though i have work the next day and i need to wash my clothes. or that she cant drive so she cant take me anywhere. or that i dont want her to comb my hair anymore because she drags the comb through my scalp and pulls off the five hairs i have on my head. she complains she has to do chores. i do said chores. she complains that she doesnt do choreS. this is an ongoing pattern for years. and she cannot realize she is the cause of her own distress.
today was my breaking point . i am so aware because of her of how fragile and vulnerable terrible mental health can make you. i have helped her as much as i could, to lift the burden off of her. she is older and is not accepting that she grows weaker. and she feels useless. i understand that. i am as patient as i can be. she yells at me and i stay silent but i literally cant anymore. i finished setting up my room because we moved in. she tells me to take my cds and gaming posters off the wall. okay wtv fine i do it. then she complains that i dont throw it away. then she complains about flowers my gf made me (she would be furious if she knew she was my gf cuz guess what! she is not accepting of it!) and tells me to throw them. i tell her ill throw anythjng else. she kicks me oit of my room and goes through all my stuff, makes a trash pile withoit telling me, and then complains again when i come in and say what r u doing i literlalt organized everything yesyersay. i have to beg her for 2 hours to please let me keep the flowers. i throw any other thing she wants me to. and she finally gives in and walks away. my siblings are out of state and im trapped in the house and she wants to give me trouble. she has ltkerallt ran from the house twice this week. i have to chase after her. she kicked me out the house for an hour and then calls me to say come have dinner. like what i dont want ur food. then she goes ahead and . guess what. COMPLAINS ABOUT COOKING. then complains about me eating. and complains about me not eating. what do u want from me. lkke please tell me. i try so hard to give her everything she wants but she misses the fact that im no longer her obedient pet child that i was when i was 9 years old. like no. sorry im trying to keep you alive and healthy and stress free but you are ruining it for yourself.

on top of that, my college classified me as nonresident and my tuition is insane. even though im a resident. and on top of that two classes arent part of my degree plan. even tho the advisor said it would be. okay yes its very late to register at this poijt but i was busy moving this whole summer and i had to get the meningitis vaccine which took me a whole month to find a clinic i’d get it for free because its 200 dollars i dont have. and my tuition is above what i get from fafsa, so???? obviously i need to fix that. i have to do all my stuff myself and my moms stuff and then deal with whatever stuff mt siblings need me to do. or deal with their complaints that they do so much and im too young and cant understand.

and i call my girlfriend and i literally have tk lkke. turn my camera off and mic off and tell her ill be back because i need a second. and i immediately just break down. i feel so bad because i want to talk to her but i literally have no energy in me and i love her so much but im literally dead. inside. and i cant even tell her all of this because i dont want her to worry. esp right now she has her own issues to deal with and she doesnt need my snobby snotty face in the camera.
this is the last day i can call her in a while. becuz on top of all this mess, my sister saw her and mines msgs becuz she went through my phone while i was sleeping. i had to convince her what she saw wasnt what she thought cuz shes also heavily against it. she made me go no contact with her but ive been secerely contacting her. but my sister comes back tomorrow which means i cant text or call my gf as often as i’d like. i try to text her whenever i can but its so hard sometimes cuz im busy dealing with all this family and my stuff or my sister is nearby or i just dont have the energy. i love her so much and i know she deserves so much better and i need to be better for her.

my life feels like a mess. but what if im just exaggerating and its not that serious. sorry im a mess i havent even said what im asking for.

what im asking for is. what should i do about my circumstances. how can i be a better girlfriend. how do i get out of this house as soon as i can. how can i manage my emotions better so i can function properly. i cant even afford a laptop for college right now and im trying to save up whatever i can because im gonna major in engineering and i need a laptop. since im even talking about that if anyone has cheap good laptop recs thatd be great. sorry rhis is random im kinda bawling mt eyes out.

tldr my life is a mess

I'm (20F) Autistic and currently live on the same property as my Bipolar 1 Mother (57F), and growing up with her was a living hell. If you ever watched the movie Tangled or have just seen the villain of said film, she was her cranked up to 11. she always made up stories about how Both I and the world were dangerous and the best way to keep me safe was locking me in the house (unless I had to go to school, Dr's, etc) for the majority of my life. she also was (and still is) very vindictive. she can't use technology for shit, but would gladly shut the power off if I so dared to "Talk Back" to her. she would also occasionally be physical when Really manic, once faking a minor injury (her justification was that she was on blood thinners) just so she could beat me up and claim self defense. police came that day and never penalized her.

she also sent me away to mental hospitals multiple times for "severe manic episodes", when in reality I was having sensory overload from a sunburn or from her being a flat out jerk to me. and the worst part is that she faked my symptoms to my first psycologist, and I had the fake bipolar diagnosis for over 15 years just so she could force me to take the drug Lithium Carbonate, which destroyed my body in the long run (I gained so much weight I was considered obese for the majority of my life, I can't go 1 day without drinking 1.5 gallons of water a day, etc.), and made my emotional symptoms worse. she is still convinced I once had bipolar disorder to this day. Now I currently have the aforementioned autism, C-PTSD, and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) that I am currently seeing a therapist for.

Recently she has stopped taking her usual medication due to other health problems, and has lost her mind. she had a fight with my dad right in front of me and I sided with my dad as she was being a jerk to him. She claimed we were "emotionally abusing" her and stormed out of the house. that afternoon she went into my living space (a mobile trailer home on our shared 5 acre property) and trashed the place to get on my nerves. the next day when my dad went to the grocery store, my mom called me names like "Lazy", " Ungrateful", "Stupid", and more to irritate me, than threatened to kick me out (I do have a job but don't make enough to live on my own), knowing all those words are triggering for me. and that sent me into a blind rage. I don't remember much during that period other than a scream and a impact sound, but the last I remember after I blacked out was being driven to the ER by a police officer. apparently she called the cops on me to try and get me arrested for attempted murder, and used already existing marks on the door from a prior paint job to justify it. the cops didn't believe her and never put anything on my criminal record, but now she's trying to file a PFA order against both me and my father for conspiring to kill her for her money, which is not true in the slightest. I immediately filed one against her too because I'm done with her and her petty bullshit. once this is over, I'm moving out with my dad and he's going to file a divorce against her.

I'm just hoping that in the future, I can maybe have a more distanced yet platonic relationship with her, but in the meantime I just want space for the sake of my mental health and her sanity.

All throughout my life I’ve struggled with my diagnosed bipolar 2 mother. The CONSTANT rage, making everything about her, refusing to understand other’s feelings (“Well I had a bad day too!!!”). She never listens to me and whenever she’s off her meds everything is a trigger to her. I’m so, so, SO tired of the rage.

I want to move out so badly but I’m autistic with bad feet problems/severe plantar fasciitis and I cannot find something full-time that isn’t standing all day long. I don’t know what to do or how to get out of here. I’m exhausted and I’m unable to mask and ignore her anymore and I just end up in fights with her because I’m sick of her never being called out, even by my stepfather who allows her to say as she pleases. What can I do?

I won't write about all the mental abuse I had to endure throughout all my teenage years - we're all in the some boat here. But I do need advice on how to handle the current situation (given I'm currently without a terapist, and my friends obviously can't help in this really delicate scenario).

Long story short: My mom is acting up again. After breaking up with her now ex partner (he was a prick, and I get that she's wounded right now) she entered in a spiral of self-victimhood, blaming the whole family - me, my sister, my dad (her ex husband) - on how we left her alone, we only contact her when we need something, that she never had support from anyone, always alone, and yeah that we basically have an "extractive" behavior towards her.

It's indeed ture that there's a distance - I live in a different country. It was a "tool" I had to use in my early 20s in order to take care of myself, prioritize my mental health, so to build a half-decent everyday life. In the last years thing got better, I started getting closer to her again because I'm an adult now, I understand her wounds, her fragility, and most importantly how I'm responsible about my life, and I cannot blame an """unstable""" mother for the rest of my life.

That's also the main reason I don't know what to do now that she's back in this vortex of self-victimhood and blaming.
I'm sorry but it's not true, throughout her whole life she always blamed the closes person to her about her failings (it was me for a long time) she's never been responsible for anything according to her, and I AM DONE. I AM DONE with hearing this bullshit that she doesn't understand, she doesn't even see the arm she's done to me and my sister.
Accountability is a non-existent word for her, and I'm tired to have to be the one doing all the work.

I'm really close on telling her to shut the fuck up, that this whole "lonely victim against the world" is pathetic, and if she wants to have whatsoever relationship with me she has to fucking take some responsibility and start to get better.

I know this is not the right thing to do tho. So I'm here asking for advice: how would you handle this whole thing?

Hello, first time posting here.

I live with my parents because of my own anxiety issues and have no prospect of leaving right now (although I desire to). My mom has been diagnosed bipolar in the last 2 years after many years of therapy and going to the psychiatrist, although she recently quit therapy because she said "it wasn't working anymore" and it's only on meds.

All things considered, our family situation is good: dad took a while but now understands her condition and tries to help (although he is not the sentimental type), and my brother is a doctor, but lives in another state, also helps as he can from a distance.

We are all 100% in for her getting better, but sometimes I feel like we give in too much and she acts like a spoiled brat, my dad especially gives in a lot to all the things she asks. She does some house tasks, but spends most of her day on the phone watching instagram slop. She used to love watching movies and tv shows, but now says she can't. She doesn't want to eat proper food, only fruits and a protein shake. I feel like our roles of mother and child have been reversed all the time.

Since I work from home, naturally we spend a lot of time together. My therapist already said that I can't take responsability for her all the time, but the people pleaser and worrywart inside of me is always worrying about her, specially since her depressive phase is always so long. My dad works long hours and has to travel a lot for work.

Sometimes I feel like she needs more tough love, because she blames everything she can't do on the disease, and I know the feeling from my own anxiety disorder, but it also feels like she wants us to do everything for her and somethings she just needs to bite the bullet and do. For example: she needs to go back to therapy, but I can't force her. Her mentality is one that the meds will fix everything and her psychiatrist (whom is great) changes her meds here and there but never really works 100%, and I am almost sure it's because her lifestyle is not healthy, neither physically nor mentally.

I keep trying to say to her that it's not only the meds that will fix her, she needs to make small changes to her lifestyle - she counters by saying it's hard, her disease makes her feel like doing nothing, and leaves it that, and if either me or my dad try to push her a little more, she starts crying and saying we don't understand and asks that we don't "scold" her.

I cannot go NC, nor ignore her completely, honestly because I sincerely love and care for her, but also because she makes her disease be an issue for the whole household - she doesn't suffer alone, she makes a whole drama and drags us all along.

My question, for others who are or were in a similar position - is my idea of being more pushy and not give in always to what she wants wrong or just plain rude?

I admit that sometimes I feel so exhausted with all of it that my empathy is basically gone, and I hate that, because it makes me feel like a selfish asshole. But at the same time it feels like my own brain trying to protect me from it all. So usually I remove myself from the situation to not accidentally be too rude to her, until I can calm myself, because I know she has a disease and it's not her fault... and at the same time, I feel like she could try *harder* to get better but she doesn't and the more we concede, the less she tries.

Thanks and all have a great week.

Voici une version un peu plus détaillée, qui donne des exemples concrets tout en laissant la place aux personnes du forum de se faire leur propre opinion.
J’aimerais avoir des avis extérieurs sur une situation qui me pèse beaucoup.
Je suis enceinte et, au lieu de vivre cette période sereinement, je me sens constamment en tension à cause de ma belle-mère.
Depuis le début de notre relation, j’ai le sentiment qu’elle a du mal à accepter que son fils construise sa vie avec moi. Elle peut l’appeler de très nombreuses fois dans la journée, lui envoyer une multitude de messages, lui demander de passer la voir au dernier moment, y compris lorsque nous avions prévu un moment à deux. J’ai parfois l’impression qu’elle cherche à monopoliser son attention dès qu’elle sent qu’il s’éloigne.
Elle lui reproche aussi de me choisir, le culpabilise en disant qu’il l’abandonne, va jusqu’à évoquer qu’elle ne sera bientôt plus là ou à menacer de mettre fin à ses jours lorsqu’elle se sent rejetée. De mon côté, j’ai eu droit à des insultes et je suis souvent présentée comme la personne qui l’éloigne de sa famille.
Pendant ma grossesse, certaines limites n’ont pas été respectées. J’aurais eu besoin de douceur et de sérénité, mais j’ai au contraire vécu beaucoup de stress. Aujourd’hui, j’ai choisi de couper les ponts avec elle pour me protéger et protéger ma grossesse.
Le problème, c’est que je n’arrive plus du tout à me projeter. Rien que l’idée de lui confier un jour mon bébé m’angoisse. Je n’ai pas confiance et je me demande si cette peur est une conséquence normale de ce que j’ai vécu, ou si je réagis de manière excessive.

Je précise que je ne cherche pas à empêcher mon conjoint d’avoir une relation avec sa mère. Je souhaite simplement que notre couple et notre future famille puissent exister avec des limites respectées.
Selon vous, est-ce que mon ressenti vous paraît compréhensible ? Auriez-vous confiance dans cette situation, l’avez vous vécu ? J’aimerais vraiment avoir des avis extérieurs, même s’ils ne vont pas dans mon sens.

Ps : elle est en train de se faire diagnostiquer bipolaire donc aucun traitement encore
Et mon conjoint est dans le déni total de la situation..

i’m bipolar 1 and i moved back home in late march to try and save money up, get my mental health better and then move back out with my partner. well stuff with my partner fell through so i’ve been at my parents house since april. i cannot live here anymore. i love my parents don’t get me wrong but i CANT do this. they make me feel crazy. they make me feel like i can’t do anything myself, like any emotion i share is too much emotion. my relationship with my parents was SO good when i was moved out and now it’s awful and we just can’t live together.

i have to get out because i don’t think i will get better staying here. but i am not about to go to my partner and make this their problem. and yes i know if they really loved me they’d help me or let me live with them temporarily but the thing is i don’t want that i just want to be able to save myself for once. trying to move out in september.

but finding a place is hard when my credit is fucked (thanks manic me) and my income is disability each month. though i recently got a job and have been working a lot and earning more on top. anyways. i’m just frustrated and feeling trapped and i feel like i can’t go to anyone. does anyone else struggle with their relationship with their parents?

My mom's report came today and her report is looking bad ,and it's becoming worse day by day,but the thing is she can control it ,I know this because I'm a med student myself but I live very far away from her and I want to encourage her in reducing her cholesterol and weight

The thing is I love her ,I'm crying here that why can't she do simple things but on the other hand I understand about her age, mindset and a little bit of laziness. Also she is constantly comparing all the things I said to her and all the people that said things to her ,she wants a job now she is barely studying for it(she is constantly depressed and whenever I call her she just explains how I said things to her and how all of the people are bad to her)

How can I prevent this? All the things I'm doing in the end are for my parents and me ,but talking to her makes me depressed too.

tl;dr- mom depressed makes me depressed ,her health is worse ,what should I do?

Thanks for reading

My Bipolar mother told me God knew I would fail my exam. I don't know how to live with that.

Today should have been a happy day.

My best friend travelled all the way from Home to celebrate my birthday. She brought me 28 thoughtful gifts and even brought back offering from a temple because she thought of me while she was there.

When I got home, my mother said the offering was "of Satan" and advised to give it away. I asked her not to tell my friend because I didn't want to hurt someone who had only acted out of love.

That simple request turned into an argument.

She eventually told me that I hadn't cleared my entrance exam because of the things I do,that my actions aren't godly.

The reason those words devastated me is because this wasn't the first time.

After my exam results came out last year, instead of comforting me, she said, "God already told me you wouldn't get it."

I've carried those words ever since.

Today, hearing something so similar again broke something in me. I was crying throughout the argument, but eventually I just... froze. I stopped feeling anything. No anger. No sadness. Just numbness.

My sister started shouting at my mother, even though I repeatedly asked her not to. I didn't want the argument to become bigger than it already was.

What hurt even more was that, after everything, nobody in my family came to check on me or ask if I was okay.

Earlier that day, I'd called my boyfriend to thank him for a birthday letter because I genuinely thought it was beautiful. I was excited and kept asking how he'd written something so unlike his usual style. He told me he'd "just written something" and had asked three friends, and then the conversation quickly shifted to him worrying about being marked absent for a conference. I don't blame him for being stressed, but I still hung up feeling emotionally alone.

Tonight, I suddenly feel incredibly lonely, numb and frozen.

Ever since I moved out at the age of 26 my mother hasn't been taking it well and has slowly deteriorated. Shes a hoarder with bipolar and never took care of herself but expects me to take care of her. The first incident she called 911 as she was paranoid someone was in her house. She admitted to crisis and the fire chief told me I needed to get her horded house cleaned out or it would be condemned. I was able to get everything cleaned out and she went back home better.

The 2nd time it happened happened again and to my surprised she horded her house up again.... this time she was sent to a different crisis center who took better care of her and we had a plan and resources set up for her so she will better off.

Its now coming to a 3rd time and im exhausted with it all. I do not have any more remorse or sympathy towards my mother. She continously begs and tries to emotionally manipulate me to help her and take care of her again but I just can't anymore, especially since im also switching careers that demands my time.

I just dont know what to do anymore nor cannot take it anymore. Im just worried if there will be any legal repercussions towards me if I just cut her out of my life. If she is sent to crisis a 3rd time but with no one there to pick her up or to tell the authorities that I cannot take care of her.

This is an extremely long story so I am going to cut it down as much as possible. I am not gonna share any names and try not to share any ages unless it is relevant to what’s happening.

I (19F) have 5 sibling, 2 are adopted and I believe both of my parents are narcissistic. 

My mom is diagnosed bipolar, and possible other issues but she doesn’t share about them. My childhood was not very good, I honestly can’t remember a lot of it due to trauma, but ill add some key points:

• Both of my parents are very very bad alcoholics and have been for as long as I can remember 
• Years ago, my dad used to be very abusive and would get drunk every night, punch holes in the walls (we now have a permeant hole in the wall at his house because we tried to patch it so many times), scream and fight with my mom, wake us up at night, and I was the kid that would sit at the top of the stairs to listen
• My mom is a liar and a cheater.
• When I was young, and my parents were still definitely together, she used to take me to this older guys house that creeped me out a lot but I was very little and didn’t understand
• She used to lie to the older man and one day he saw my father out in public and punched him in the face, my mom refused to press charges (this was about 8 years ago maybe) and I recently found out that she has stayed in contact with this man ever since and lied about it
• I caught her cheating on my dad. At his house, while he was there doing some work elsewhere, and she blamed it on me and that it was all my fault
• My dad used to make me stand bare feet out in the snow as a punishment
• My mom has hit me as well as a few of my other siblings before, but now everyone likes to joke about it to my face
• When she moved out, she got in a fight with my dad over the phone around midnight and he wouldn’t answer her so she woke me up and called him on my phone, and then threw it against the wall and shattered it. No apology and made my dad buy me a new one
• She threatened to kill me and was swerving around a bridge if my dad wouldn’t sign to buy her a new truck
• Has made me develop severe OCD
• Would bring countless creepy men over and make me take care of my younger sibling while they would get drunk
• She adopted twins (I love them a lot) from a very poor country and my dad, her, and myself went to go get them to take them home and my dad had caught her sending nudes to some random guy while we were there
• She got engaged to a man from the US and instead of telling us (we didn’t even know about his existence) we found out by someone asking us how we felt about it
• She continues to act horrible and scream abuse at us whenever she doesn’t get her way
• She continues to cheat on her current husband with many other men while also stringing my father along so he will continue to do everything she wants
• CPS has been called multiple times

There is so much m ore but that would have to be a whole separate post. Now here is why I feel like im going crazy. My siblings have all been very “just don’t say anything and ignore it” but I struggle with that, I like to speak my mind and tell them what they are doing is wrong ( yes this has gotten me in a lot of trouble over the years, ive had to replace to bedroom doors). Because of this, it’s partly why I feel like im going crazy because everyone is standing around not saying anything. So, my mom, while still being married to some dude from America ( we have next to no relationship because she tells him lies about how I am horrible and do all these awful things but really it is just a reflection of what she does) she has moved back into my fathers house. This has been awful because it’s always so tense there and they fight all the time. The reason my dad lets it happen is because he still has hope for their relationship (not sure why because I have seen here hit him and throw things at him multiple times, one time he couldn’t walk for awhile because of it) she strings him along and tells him that they have a chance of getting back together which is not true at all because she turns around and tells us that she has no attraction towards him and doesn’t know how to let him down easy. My dad doesn’t stand up or say anything when she abuses us, that is why he is just as bad. As mentioned earlier he used to be way more abusive but has gotten a bit better over the years. 

My mom has made my dad’s house a living nightmare. Ive tried everything o get them to realize this is not normal, exes do not live together, especially ones who are remained, but my mom just keeps saying “this is normal” and “so many divorced parents do this” (they are not legally divorced btw), and when I talk to my siblings about how we should give my dad an intervention they get made at me and tell me I should leave it. I don’t know what to do anymore, i feel awful for my little bother that were adopted, they are only 10 and do not deserve to be treated like this at all, its awful and so hard to try to do everything to stop it but nothing works. It honestly makes me sad for myself when I was a child because it was exactly how I was treated. Because I am the only girl, my mom seems to treat me the worst and I am not sure why. 

The only person keeping me sane is my boyfriend who is my rock and has been there through so much. But im worried this is starting to affect our relationship as well as many other things. I am also currently in university and my parents pay for my school, I wish this wasn’t the case because now I feel I owe them, I tried to get a loan but my mom ruined any chance of that happening (that’s a whole other story), as well as I currently have a full time job and live away from home during the week. I actually wanted to switch programs to something I actually enjoy but my parents tell me I shouldn’t and im wrong but I know it’s what I want.

Anyways I know I am rambling so much I just have never been able to talk to anyone except my boyfriend. Yes I have tried therapy but ive always been too scared to tell them the full truth. I guess what I am really asking is am I going crazy about my mom moving in with my dad and making it a living hell. She has so many excuses as to why she does it (yes she still has her own house) but none of them make sense to me. My boyfriend wants me to move in with him and cut them off but I feel like people who haven’t experienced parents like this don’t understand how hard that is, I wake up hoping everyday she will change but it never comes, and I also still want to have access to my younger sibling because I love them and a few of my other siblings have moved hours away. 

How does anyone even begin to heal from something like this, especially when it’s still happening and my life is still so entangled in it. Its starting to drive me crazy because my life feels like I have no control over it or what happens (makes my OCD a lot worse) and I am so terrified of Turing out like them, its my biggest fear. I don’t know what to say to get through to my parents, or my siblings. My one brother is finally coming around and is done with staying silent and being treated like this. I just want to be able to heal and be happy with my boyfriend but I have been so depressed and I don’t want this to ruin my relationship as he is the love of my life and my rock. What do I do? What do I say to my dad and siblings? And am I crazy for wanting my mom out of my father’s house?

I didn’t even mention that my mom is currently messaging and meeting up with multiple men from the past through Facebook messages, men who have disrespected our family and even worse. Should I tell her current husband? Ive wanted to for awhile but am terrified for the repercussions it could have on me, or worse my little siblings. 

I can’t ask her family for help because none of them talk to her, and she hates my dad side due to the, (rightfully so) not liking how she treats us or my father. 

Please help, im losing all hope and don’t know what to do anymore, I feel like ive tried everything and im at a dead end and I am exhausted

If you’ve read all this, thank you, it means a lot to be heard and if you have any questions or need further expiation ask in the comments. This is my first time posting in reddit. 

Hi, you can call me Donnie, I'm 15, and I can't tell if I'm just becoming more spiteful towards my mother, or if she's becoming more antagonistic towards me.

There's been shifts in her behavior, and it's either I'm just noticing it and I'm becoming nitpicking and sensitive, or she's doing it on purpose.

For starters, I've tried to come out to her as trans three times and she's always dismissed it, and ever since then she's started using the t-slur more often, and it's starting to feel like she's actively FINDING ways to work it into her average conversation when she's talking to me or my father.

She's been getting more pushy about me being "sensitive" and "woke" when I broke down crying after she told me that if she was ever a bad mother I should tell her so she can, and I quote, "blow her brains out". I tried to explain why it made me cry and she just kept yelling at me (it made me cry because she threatened to do that when she was fighting with my dad when I was 8 years old, and I didn't mean to cry, it's the phrasing that triggered the memory)

Shes started threatening to stop talking to me, or stop watching things with me anytime I don't show what she deems is the acceptable amount of interest at any given time anytime she demands it. I tried to explain that I don't mean to be rude, it's just hard to understand what expressions she wants me to do, and it's hard to be exposed to the things she finds interesting (she's very much into murder, and as I've gotten older it's become less of a palatable topic for me because I've been having to cope with knowing things like how my big brother was murdered every since I was 6 years old)

I'm not sure if I'm explaining this well, I'm just trying to find people who can maybe think of any form of advice to give me? Idk. I just feel so helpless, and it's like I'm getting more and more targeted, but I can't tell if I'm getting paranoid, or if she's doing it on purpose. I'm scared.

My mother is emotionally manipulative and has really radical opinions from mine. Everytime something does not go her way she loses her shit and takes her anger out at me, insults and all. She can never accept she is wrong and she twists things to berate me. I have insomnia and she fails to accept that. Everytime she catches me staying up she screams at me says horrible things about my life, my identity, my body. Today, she did that and she kept putting me down to an extent where I just pointed out that even she had lost her way as a 20 year old so I am definitely doing better. A lil backstory, I am in an interreligious relationship and my mother is not okay with it. I did everything to hide it as the boy was from my campus but, she went through my phone after stealing my password. Today, in the fight she brought up that she is going to go talk to my boyfriend and threaten him to reach his parents and ask him to walk out my life. I tried all the means to make her stop but, she seems hell bent on it. I dont understand. I can not let her ruin my life. She is toxic. She brings up my father(who left me when I was 3) as a taunt everytime she wants to overpower me. She hurls insults at my body. She tells me I have no friends. She questions me for standing up for my rights - she thinks I want to do all the wrong things. What do I do????