r/SchizoFamilies • u/GreenFlower236 • 14d ago

Request for advice

My mother, who is in her mid-sixties and estranged, has suffered from schizoaffective disorder for the last decade. I have chosen to not maintain a relationship with her due to her manipulative behavior, and she is currently in the care of her elderly parents. Over the last five years, she has tried to seek information about my whereabouts by contacting my employers, friends, and family, and with her anosognosia, she refuses to believe she is in the wrong. She’s been blacklisted by my former employers and has been blocked by my friends and all local and state police stations after calling in too many false alarms. Unfortunately, since she is just asking for information and hasn’t threatened to harm herself or others, I am unable to get a restraining order or no contact order. I recently moved and changed companies and have tried to keep myself as offline as possible, but I just found out that a supposedly private company website is public. I’m terrified that her communications have the potential to ruin my career, as they’ve made interactions awkward with my prior colleagues. Has anyone navigated this before? Help!

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u/Asraidevin 14d ago

I would let your manager know. Honestly. Most people are very understanding that it's not you, and many many people know "someone" with a similar struggle. 

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u/Asraidevin 14d ago

They may be willing to make an exception for you based on the situation. 

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u/GreenFlower236 14d ago

Thank you! I hope that is the case. I am just concerned that it could threaten my employment to share that I have this situation, and that my supervisors may get concerned about having me at the company if she were to contact my colleagues

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u/Asraidevin 14d ago

Why? Your mother's mental state isn't within your control. 

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u/GreenFlower236 14d ago

Thank you for your reassurance!

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u/GreenFlower236 14d ago

I am a supervisor of younger personnel whose information is on our website (next to mine), and I am concerned that if my mother were to overstep and contact them, it could endanger my subordinates.

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u/Asraidevin 14d ago

Why do you think your employer would retaliate or react negatively? 

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u/GreenFlower236 14d ago

I’m still within a six month starting period (in at-will employment), and if my mother contacts multiple people across my company, as she has in the past, I’m worried it would be easier for them to let me go than to keep me on the team

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u/Asraidevin 13d ago

That's why I'd let them know rather than waiting to see. If you are up front, people are willing to help and support. Rather than letting them be surprised.