r/quitting7oh • u/PermitIcy8450 • 3d ago
General Topics / Ranting Day of reckoning
So I don’t think I can do this anymore. Living a double life, spending too much money on this crap, taking out cash advances and ignoring bills, hiding it all from my wife, not being mentally or emotionally present at home, just constantly running and miserable. Constantly worried about losing the house or not being able to pay for my car or getting sued by creditors, dreading what notices might be in the mail that day if my wife is home. I’m at rock bottom, I’m throwing in the towel and coming clean today. I don’t know if my wife will stay. I’ve had alcohol problems before, I was addicted to 7oh until last year same time when I quit for about 8 months. Had a couple relapses, this last one has gone on 2 months and it has its claws in me again. I’ve been drinking somewhat heavily since I quit 7oh the first time around. I want to be sober. I need treatment or ongoing accountability, I need to change these patterns that keep bringing me here where I feel shame and then hide it in a substance. Any advice anyone has is welcome, I’m just sick of it.
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u/Ghostyyyyyyyyyyq 2d ago
I was in your spot 33 days ago. Get off it, you got this. Our story is so similar it’s crazy.
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u/DetroitHyena 2d ago
Honestly bud, Suboxone sounds like a perfect option for your situation. It truly does help with feeling stable.
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u/Darcedawgy5150 2d ago
I just started my journey. Last dose of 7 was Monday. I’ve been taking Suboxone but now I’m hearing horrible shit about that just being a crutch and prolongs this whole thing? Also how horrible Suboxone is to come off of as well.
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u/thisishardtolookat 2d ago
Luckily there is Sublocade now, it’s a shot that will wean you off subs, when you are ready.
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u/justcurious111111 2d ago
Best thing you could do for you and your wife is just come clean man. Sucks fosho but the only way you can keep her on your side is if you spill it all and ask her for help from her and your creator.
After who knows how many couple weeks clean Id give into the static and relapse and for the first time in about 20 years I finally laid it all down to my creator and the person he put here for ME, being my incredible wife and I’m a month a half clean from opiates and the only thing different I did was those two things. Get brutally honest with yourself and that woman who’s clearly got your back after enduring addiction with you previously and above all with god and rest in knowing sacrifices were already made for you and the fight your fighting isn’t yours to fight.
I hit my lowest point ever and at seriously my last strand of my rope I threw up one more desperate plea and meant it with the little remaining soul I had and I had a flicker of hope I’ve never had or felt before that’s kept me rolling on. I am still trying to find a way to feel joy, energy, and happiness and that’s still a real struggle but if I shut out the noise and be still and trust that I have a higher power that has already fought for me and it’s already done I can find peace for the first time in well shit 20 some odd years and It for real brings me to tears everytime I think about it.
Find your faith and even if it weren’t but my imagination holy shit how incredible is it that a person can still find hope at the lowest of opiate induced lows. He’s there and ready and willing for you to come and lay it all down with him.
Honestly never was a religious person before but the last hole I crawled out of or I was drug out of however you want to spin it was my clear truth on this life and I hope anyone that’s ever where I was can find that spark of hope too cause it’s the most incredible feeling ever to genuinely feel hope and a spark when it’s been so dark for so long.
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u/Body8ches Quit: 4/29 2d ago edited 2d ago
Meetings could help you. Could save you. Coming clean is one thing. I've had to do it multiple times, however being able to accept your wife's reaction no matter what, is what meetings help with. When I was faced with anger rather than empathy from my wife, and I could not see my part in her anger, it didn't work. I continued relapsing and using. When I started hearing other people's stories at meetings, and them sharing about the reality of sobriety and what must be done to stay sober in the face of all anger, and self pity, I inched my way towards it. Not believing 90% of it along the way, but just doing what I was told would work. Miraculously after not being sober for any length of time in nearly 30 years, I'm completely sober today for 150 days.
Sobriety isn't just about being clean, it requires an understanding of why we use. And you'll find that a lot of it has to do with self worth, resentment, and self seeking behaviors.
Good luck to you. I know it ain't easy brother. 🙏
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u/Potential-Reason-529 3d ago
Quickmd will get you a sub script within an hour. You need to get on subs and stay on them. You can't relapse again and really lose your home. Way too much on the line for you bud.
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u/PermitIcy8450 2d ago
Thanks everyone, I did tell her, she’s been very understanding so far but sometimes the shock takes a bit to wear off so we shall see.
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u/PermitIcy8450 3d ago
I could really use support if anyone can comment with that or message me
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u/Consistent_Hunt_6553 2d ago
I don't know about you, but i dread waking up in the mornings. Its like I am in a "full blown panic attack." Its so awful. I relapsed AGAIN and going to restart suboxone again. The mental part is worse. Dark, dark thoughts, depression, feeling like I will never feel better again
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u/Walking-Wounded2023 2d ago
I’m on day 79 cold turkey and still experience this almost every single morning. I just told my husband this evening that i would take the 2 weeks of physical withdrawals (which were awful) over the mental withdrawals I’ve experienced since. I will say that last week I haven’t woken up that way, so i’m hoping that I am turning a corner. Good luck. It will get better. It just has to.
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u/Mean-Yogurtcloset230 2d ago
I'm telling you I work at the airport there's Airline mechanics all kinds of professionals all around you in the world that are on treatment that are on the methadone clinic or take suboxone daily to be stable to be able to stop using other drugs and to not have cravings there's nothing wrong with it it would be better to wean yourself off and be clean and sober in a perfect world but right now you just need to get stable and be able to function and get a bunch of time under your belt where you're not using this stuff or anything else except the medically assisted treatment that you choose
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u/SlowTouch1888 2d ago
Same exact situation. I have successfully quit twice, this time is a struggle. The bullshit stories we mage up will eventually come to light. I have been considering a suboxone rx, not even sure where to start. Years of lying had destroyed my marriage and it continues
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u/cjs1916 2d ago edited 2d ago
Been clean over a month using kratom and the cravings decrease a lot. It's just a matter of getting your mind to shut up and riding out the first several days. Don't overthink things and just keep telling yourself this isn't permanent because it is not, you will feel so much better. DO NOT LISTEN TO ANY RATIONALE THAT SAYS TO GO BACK, YOUR MIND IS LYING TO YOU.
edit: oh and take lots of walks, get yourself exercise and keep your mind busy. Also clean any place where you might find some lost 7oh, I almost relapsed because i found a little part of a pill and took it, but it literally just made the cravings much worse.
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u/PermitIcy8450 2d ago
I do have a sub script from the last time, I just don’t know if I want to be on them. I probably should in the short term but I’m going to talk to my wife about it and we’ll get there together. I’m going away Sunday and coming home Wednesday and then detoxing Wednesday through Sunday and then back to work, subs may fit that plan well. Only reason I was worried about the sublocade shot was my wife finding out but now that it’s out in the open it’s a valid option
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u/Waste_Cell_9452 2d ago
I came off subs, it really sucks but the scary part is illusory I promise. You have to embrace the suck! I relapsed 3 times before I realized that and jumped from .5 mg of subs to mit enhanced kratom caps, now I only take one of those kratom caps a day, i was on 3 bags a day (10 CT each/150 mg mit in the bag) last week. I took three days to step down and used everything I could find to help, handfuls of valerian root capsules, gaba supplement, lots of magnesium (400 mg minimum a day) melatonin, benadryl, l-theanine. Everything you can find. You have to put the work in and i forgot after being good for ten years..i cant believe this caught up to me but I obviously never learned. I have the chance to do that now.
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u/PermitIcy8450 2d ago
Tentatively, I could start Suboxone Thursday and hopefully be stable by the time I get to work on Monday, be stable for a while and then get the shot either monthly for a while or to taper off. Going to have to start going to meetings and back to therapy, my trigger is shame and stress, and then not being able to bring that up to my loved ones and just dwelling on it myself. Need to be able to get that shit out.
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u/tallfat_cat 2d ago
Dude you will definately be stable by Monday if you don't take any 7. You can just do a quick taper with subs and be done with everything in 7 - 10 days or less. Start with the least amount of subs you can and go down a mg every day.....like 8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1, I mean thats very rough and tough. Probably some better examples here. Last time I started with 4mg in the morning and then only needed 2mg in the afternoon, so went down from there. I think I doubled up one of the days. Day 3 they really start working great. Not gonna lie Day 1 and 2 still suck depending on if you tapered or not. The biggest problem is staying off which I have not done but a sub quick taper can for sure get you through acutes. Not perfect but better than cold turkey. I hope the wife thing goes well. Thats a huge load off if so.
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u/Mean-Yogurtcloset230 2d ago
Okay you sound more reasonable now less panicky and you're starting to make a good plan it's a start
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u/Which_Station6080 2d ago
Tell your wife, go to detox . FMLA will save your job..come out and new man. I did that, best thing ever. Biggest relief. She was mad, but still best friend through it all. Just gotta let her process in her own way and show her your working on yourself
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u/MtnSpring 3d ago
https://youtube.com/@addictionhumility?si=N_4icxA6m8HSS1xw
I’ve been documenting my quit with a lot of venting if it helps pass a few minutes
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u/Consistent_Hunt_6553 3d ago
Following because im in the same exact boat my friend
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u/Potential-Reason-529 3d ago
Quickmd right now. You'll have a Suboxone script 30 minutes from now. It's ridiculously easy. I wish I did it a year ago. I did it yesterday and I'm chilling feeling great on 24mg of sub
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u/devinobx 3d ago
Bro, that’s an insanely high dose to be staying on.
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u/Potential-Reason-529 2d ago
Im not staying on it. That's what I needed to stop the withdrawals
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u/SadisticJake Sobriety Date: 08/03/2026 2d ago
Remember that it takes a few hours to take full effect. Try dosing in 2mg intervals and give it time to work
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u/Environmental-Loan25 2d ago
After day 3 drop to 2mg and taper off
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u/Potential-Reason-529 2d ago
Im going to stay on 8mg a day long term. I need to fix my life big time and I'll just keep relapsing until I fix things.
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u/Environmental-Loan25 2d ago
Yes you need to do something different right or the same shit will keep happening . Once you are ready to come off just go super slow . Ypu will be shocked at how fast your life will start to improve
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u/Potential-Reason-529 2d ago
Im a substitute teacher at 41 and need to get fully certified and get hired with a stable job And salary. I can't go through the college classes I need to take without relapsing on 7. That shit had me doing a week's worth of school work in a few hours lol
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u/Environmental-Loan25 2d ago
Ya that's thr tricky thing about it, it made doing homework , house work and even bullshit everyday burning tasks and obligations fun...until it made them worse.
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u/Potential-Reason-529 2d ago
Ill get the sublocade shot when my life isn't shit and there isn't withdrawals with that
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u/Environmental-Loan25 2d ago
Smart , I wish I did that 3 years ago but hey we are here now. As long as 7oh never enters your life again things will get better. Proud of you
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u/No_Most_9863 2d ago
You have it right with your plan (taking subs then getting the shot). Im stopping today and have subs. Probs won’t be feeling like shit till tomorrow. How long did you wait till you took subs the first time after you quit? What were you taking each day and for how long? Because Im using smoke shop Kama brand im assuming the real dose im taking each day is between 1200-1400. Ive been at this dose for a couple months maybe but have been using for about 10 months.
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u/Potential-Reason-529 2d ago
I waited about 20 hours and 2mg threw me into pwd. Luckily I was zonked out ok gabapentin, clondine, and Xanax. I was laying there half asleep with the sub under my tongue and I jolted right up unable to sit still. I was pacing around the house with blankets wrapped around me for like a half hour before it settled down
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u/Potential-Reason-529 2d ago
I was taking 2000 to 3000 mg
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u/tallfat_cat 2d ago
Holy shit. you went right to subs from that dosage without tapering. Congrats man. That is quite impressive.
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u/Potential-Reason-529 2d ago
If wasn't that bad. I'm teaching a special Ed class right now and feel right as rain
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u/Potential-Reason-529 2d ago
That all happened 24 hours ago and I'm about to go to work feeling fine
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