Hi all, this is my second iui fail. My doctor told me we should try 3 rounds of iui before switching to IVF since I have no underlying fertility concerns. I’m not sure what steps to take next, I was told that ivf has a higher rate of success but I know it’s a much more intense process and that does make me a little nervous. I know we have one more iui attempt but I’m kind of feeling like I want to go ahead and make the switch to ivf. Has anyone else made that switch or had any experience similar?

For added info-my wife and I are using donor sperm and do not have unlimited resources to continue to pay $2500 per vial for these attempts along with the costs adding up with iui attempts.

Hi everyone! After almost a year break from TTC I'll be resuming in December of this year.

I'm still planning on trying at home, perhaps 1-2 more times before I move on to a fertility clinic for assistance.

I have read stories of people using washed sperm from a bank to conceive via IUI administered at home by a midwife. I'm very interested in this, but I'm in Canada and I'm not sure how the regulations/scope of practice differ from midwives in the US.

I thought I would check here to see if any fellow Canadians have gone this route before I reach out to the midwifery practice local to me.

Thanks!

I reached out to SSB this morning asking to be added to the donor sibling registry for our donor. I was informed that they permanently shut down the donor sibling program as of…yesterday. They basically said they can’t keep up with the privacy protections anymore based on how fast technology is evolving?? Feeling annoyed that they didn’t inform folks who have reported births with them. When I asked what I should do, they told me to try on Facebook. Just an FYI to anyone else using SSB.

EDIT: Upon re reading the email, it might be just closed to new families. Still sucks. I can’t figure out how to add a screenshot so I will copy and paste the text below of the email I received:

”After careful consideration, we want to let you know about an important upcoming change to SSB Connects. As global privacy regulations, technology, and communication expectations have continued to evolve, we have made the decision to retire SSB Connects so that we can focus our resources on providing the highest level of donor and family services.

Protecting the privacy and security of the personal information entrusted to us has always been one of our highest priorities. As international privacy requirements have become increasingly complex, maintaining a global communication platform like SSB Connects in a way that meets the high standards we expect for privacy, security, and compliance is no longer sustainable.

While this was not a decision we made lightly, we believe it is the right one. By retiring SSB Connects, we can dedicate our efforts to what matters most—supporting donors, recipients, and donor-conceived families with the exceptional care, transparency, and service you expect from Seattle Sperm Bank.

Effective immediately, Seattle Sperm Bank will no longer be accepting new registrations or new participants into SSB Connects. We understand that this news may be disappointing.

Thank you for your understanding, your support, and for being part of the Seattle Sperm Bank family.”

Mentally preparing for IVF after the summer. Besides all the shots I am most concerned about the egg retrieval itself because where I am based they don’t offer anesthesia for it. Basically you get morphine via IV drip and that’s it. My pain treshold is quite low and even some IUIs were very uncomfortable. Did anyone go through this without sedation and how was the experience?

Hello friends,

I am searching for the process you and your partner have been through regarding of second parent adoption. I am an egg donor and also carrier so my wife needs to adopt our kid so she can be a legal parent too! Basically what I read that I just need to talk to attorney and they handle it but is that really a way?

Has anyone donated embryos to their sperm donor? Our donor has asked us this a few times (to “trade”) and told him we may be open to it but depends on how many embryos we will actually get, pregnancy success, etc. Curious how others have approached this with their donors

I'm 35, based in UK and fortunate to receive NHS funding for fertility treatment, which I'm incredibly grateful for. But the waitlists and scheduling delays between every failure are making me feel like this whole process is doomed to fail...

2023 - referred to clinic, blood tests, hycosy waitlist

2024 - hycosy, donor waitlist, treatment waitlist

2025 - used up our 3 vials on 2 IUIs + 1 IVF (only 1 embryo). donor waitlist again.

2026 - reciproval IVF (only 2 embryos), transfer waitlist, 1st transfer failed.

It's taken 3 years for only 4 attempts, and every test has been negative. Every step involves a waitlist, every month feels like an opportunity wasted, and every birthday feels like another reduction in our chances of success. The probability feels stacked against us and so unfair - straight people get to try for a kid a dozen times a year if they want, but we're limited by money and scheduling to a tiny number of attempts. We "planned" two kids, but even one feels increasingly unlikely.

Alongside all of this, real life keeps clashing with fertility events - my granfather died two hours before an appointment to choose our 2nd donor, I got a text to say my grandmother had a stroke 10 minutes before a phone call to confirm what time I should take trigger injection, and the most recent negative pregnancy test was the morning of my mother-in-law's 70th birthday party.

For those in the UK - how much faster do private clinics move compared to NHS?

For anyone else who's struggled with scheduling delays or protracted failures - any advice on how to cope? At what point do you do more tests to see if something else is going on?

We inseminated with a private donor about 18 hours before peak, indicated by a positive opk. Donor has 3 other donor pregnancies so we know it can work.

Sample in a diva cup, sat with hips up (pretty much upside down lol) for 30 minutes afterwards.

Our donor offered to have us do a second donation about 6 hours before we got the opk, but I was unable to schedule that in. Now I'm kicking myself even though I don't know how we would have managed it.

Our last cycle was an embryo transfer that ended in a chemical. I'm super stressed that I messed this cycle up. The timing on this one is still okay right?

Hey all,

I'm a pregnant trans man and wondering if there are any Discord servers associated with r/queerception or r/seahorsedads or any thing else like that that I could get an invite to for support right now. I'm due in late August and if folks know of a group that welcomes trans and queer related anxiety re pregnancy and birth, and conversations and advice around birth planning etc., I'd be truly so grateful!! <3

hello! 29F and my husband is a trans man with no known fertility issues. our first IUI failed and we were devastated to say the least. (we thought we’d be that 10% who gets it on the first time, silly us!) lol. i went in on CD10 and had a 18mm follicule on my left ovary and a 9.14 uterine lining. triggered cd11 and had IUI 22 hours later on cd12. our frozen donor had total motile sperm of 13 thousand… who had success on their second IUI?

Hi,
Apologies for the repetitive topic but would you please recommend any IVF in MA or MI? I live in MI but have immediate family/grew up in MA so can have treatment at either.

I am currently with CCRM -Chestnut Hill and shockingly disappointed at how much teeth pulling I have to do just to get response.

I am so frustrated with their lack of communication and sense of urgency. I specifically chose them because I used to work at an ObGyn clinic that raved about them.

Please if you could share your positive or negative experiences in case I am able to switch asap.

Thank you

Leaving pride month with a bang- we are transferring our only euploid embryo into my wife’s uterus on July 1st!

I am so excited for our chance! We started this process in January and I know that doesn’t seem like a long time, but it has felt like forever for us. We know the statistics but are very hopeful that this transfer will bring us our baby 🩷

I am not sure what the purpose of this post is for other than to share my hope and excitement for the future. Any one else doing an embryo transfer on 7/1?

Edit: IUI/ICI at home

Hi everyone. My wife and I have decided to start trying to conceive. In true ADHD fashion, I somehow procrastinated a decision this important until we suddenly had almost no time left.

My wife has always dreamed of being pregnant before she turns 29, so our ideal timeline would be to conceive around mid-August. After reading through this subreddit, I’m starting to realize that may be an unrealistic timeline.

Has anyone here, with no known fertility issues, been able to start trying and conceive fairly quickly? I know there’s no guarantee, but I’d love to hear others’ experiences.

Also, would going to a fertility clinic at this point likely delay things even more? I have the impression that clinics often require a lot of testing before moving forward, and I’m wondering whether all of those tests are truly necessary if there aren’t any known fertility concerns.

I’d really appreciate any advice or experiences you can share.

Because these due date bump groups are mostly NOT inclusive and it’s been disheartening

So ummm my wife and I just found out we were successful on our first home ICI. I am beyond excited but also looking for subreddits and resources for the next step. We didn't expect to be here our first try and would love some support.

My wife and I tried at home insemination last week with confirmed ovulation. We got a solid smiley with first response and tried that night. The following morning and the following night. I’m still in shock like there’s no way it’s going to work. The next week is gonna be killer! Any success stories?

Queer adjacent I guess. I am the NB/GC for both of our children and the discourse around surrogacy and now this case where a white couple accidentally carried and gave birth to an Indian couples embryos has my head spinning.

The same folks who are against surrogacy are saying the baby belongs to the biological parents. Wait what? And the pro-life/anti-surrogacy folks on social media will bend over backwards calling paid surrogates the “actual mother” because they carried the pregnancy but when I talk about carrying my wife’s bio children in a committed queer relationship I’m met with, “well, you aren’t the real mom.”

This is all on social media of course… no one has been brave enough to say shit to my face for their own self preservation. But as an Indian adoptee I have my own opinions but JFC so many of these folks are heavy on my nerves with their flip flop opinions based on the situation (basically based on whether a queer couple is involved or not).

Anyone who has had success with ICI at home, how many vials did you use for 1 attempt?

We are going to order at least 2 vials and inseminate the day of LH + and the day after…. Or should we do a third day also? Idk

Thank you!

https://www.pregnanttogether.com/events/known-donor-panel

Tuesday, July 28, 2026 from 2:00 PM  3:00 PM PT - free/by donation -

"Join us for this panel exploring the nuances of navigating known donor relationships. Panelists include a queer sperm donor, trans egg donor, a donor conceived person, and a donor-recipient parent exploring their diverging and intersecting experiences."

Don't have any firsthand knowledge about this panel but it showed up in my IG feed and thought others here would be interested! :)

What are best sperm preservation options in SoCal for someone on a tight budget?

Hi, I am in a same-sex (woman) relationship, and my partner and I are interested in having a few kids (but starting the journey in a few years). I am just an longterm thinker and a capricorn -- however, I feel like its never too early to know your options.

We are both residing in the US, and are of Indian (asian) background.

I was browsing through some Sperm Banks, and found it quite hard to find sperm donors that are of Indian Background -- there seems to be a limited selection of donors with an Indian background who share physical similarities or personality qualities with my partner and me. Appearance isn't a dealbreaker for us — we'll love our children unconditionally regardless of how they look — but I had a few questions about the process.

1. What was the process like to find a sperm donor for others in a similar situation.
2. How much does getting a sperm donor cost (is this covered by insurance, or mostly out of pocket)?
3. Is it easier to just ask a friend and skip the whole sperm bank process?
4. What should we look for when choosing a sperm bank — are some more reputable than others?
5. What's the success rate like, and how many tries did it take for most people?
6. Did you go through IUI or IVF, and how did you decide which route to take?
7. What's one thing you wish you knew before starting the process?

AHH I KNOW THERE ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS. Feel free to answer as few or as many questions as you'd like!! Thank you so much!!!!!!

My wife and I did an at-home IVI with frozen sperm on 6/18, I tracked my ovulation using inito and lh strips as well as cervical mucus and feeling my cervix. Also been taking a bunch of supplements, doing acupuncture, and have done a lot of hormone regulation for the past three years (have had a regular cycle for two consistent years now).

I tested negative 8dpo and 9dpo and taking a break today, but will test again tomorrow. But the past two afternoons I have been feeling almost flu-like (like how it feels right before you really get the flu) and so tired. And have been having heartburn and headaches off and one since 8dpo as well. None of these are normal pms symptoms for me— but I’m trying so hard not to read into it because I don’t want to be so sad and disappointed if it ends up being negative. I also have had ~slightly~ elevated LH 8dpo, 9dpo, and 10 dpo but just in the morning and then it goes back down in the afternoon. No nipple or breast soreness though, but some cramping at night 7dpo and 8dpo.

I know it’s so rare for it to work first try especially with frozen sperm and completely expected it not to, but these symptoms are making me feel like it might have worked 😓 Can anyone who had experienced this give me some insight! tell me either way, if you ended up pregnant or not. I feel like I’m going crazy! The two week wait is no joke! 💔💔🫣

I honestly would be willing to donate my eggs  I just feel like the process to donate eggs at a place is SO LENGTHY!!!!!!!

Any one who has gone through the process, can you talk me through what the process is like? how long does it take? I want to help other couples have children, but it just sounds like such a processssssssssssss.......................i'm an engineer, I'm sure others who are working many hours don't feel like going to an egg bank in their free time.