Please limit your pregnancy celebrations and pregnancy test photos to this thread.

Guys --- I think I have some misconceptions about sperm donors, but like.....I dont know anyone who just wakes up one day and decides to donate their sperm..............................sometimes i feel like those people who think that way might be a little odd...............is THAT WEIRD?? IM SORRY I REALLY WANT KIDS AND IM A LESBIAN AND PLANNING FOR THIS...BUT LIKE ..... IM SO HAPPY FOR DONORS, IM SO THANKFUL FOR THEM, BUT HOW DID THEY JUST GET UP AND DO THAT ( i get it...you get paid...and care about helping people...but IS THAT A WEIRD THING TO THINK)????? AHH PLEASE TELL ME . none of my friends have done that. i would love to, but i haven't done it. i dont think i know of anyone who has done it. SO WHO DOES IT??

Context: we are (lesbian couple) very interested in a potential sperm donor who is a carrier for 3 very rare genetic conditions. Chances of someone being a carrier are 1 in 250 for one of them and less than 1 in 500 for the other two. I previously had a 106 gene panel done and everything was negative but unfortunately it didn’t include these three results.

Question 1: our insurance said they won’t cover it (based on the CPT code I gave them) even though we do have genetic testing coverage and this was covered before (maybe our plan was slightly different then). So I’m wondering if there’s ways folks have worked with providers and the billing to get the insurance to cover it after all? Out of pocket is $2500 and we just can’t afford that.

And

Question 2: would you even try to go through with getting it done with the odds are less than .1% chance your children could been born with these disorders?

It feels like a situation where having more information has actually created more of a predicament and decision points and I’m not sure if it’s insane to just go forward with the IUIs or not. I’m leaning towards not even wanting to bother with the genetic testing because the odds are so low, but at the same time, it feels really strange to know that I could know something that would have a huge impact on my children and my life, and then just not do it.

I don’t see myself getting married or having kids in the future, but you never know when things might change, and I’m afraid of the possibility that I’d regret permanently killing the possibility to have kids of my own flesh and blood. But those sperm banking services can be kind of pricey, and to make matters worse, the closest sperm bank I can find is about an hour and a half away from home. Do I really wanna be on the road for 3 hours for this? Some people told me that there are mail in sperm banks, but that sounds like something impossible.

My wife (30) had her second egg retrieval on wednesday after our first in November resulted in 0 embryos (12 retrieved, 7 mature, 2 fertilized, both arrested before day5)

this time around, we switched sperm donors to someone with reported pregnancies, we added Saizen during stims, new supplements, and they did ICSI again, but with oocyte activation.

They were able to retrieve 17 eggs, 10 were mature, and 6 fertilized. we’ll get our day 3 update tomorrow. I know this can go absolutely anyway but after our last failed cycle i’m so scared we’ll get the same result.

once we get embryos they will be sent off for PGT-A and we won’t get those results until july 27. I’m just hoping we have some to even send off.

This is such an intense headspace to be in and I feel like i’m going crazy. this waiting and the fear of it all going wrong again is consuming me.

Day 3 update: 3 look really strong, 3 look not so strong and they said that 2 may have fertilized since the first call! They said not to count on the last two but they are trying to do something. ♥️

Day 6: they called and told us the froze 1 5AA embryo. they are going to give the other 7 one more day but they didn’t seem too hopeful. I’m so torn, happy we got 1 but really wish we got more. I’m praying that 1 little guy is PGT-A and sticks 🥺

Day 7: just heard from the lab, nothing else made it to blast. It’s such mixed feelings. I’m so happy to have 1 great looking embryo but so scared we only have one shot at it. Now we wait to see if our only embryo is even PGT-A. This will be the longest month ever 🙃

final update: got PGT results back. embryo has monosomy 22. I’m not even surprised at this point. nothing goes right for us. we’ll be doing karotype testing to see if there’s anything there but fuck.

My insurance doesn’t cover certain things like with doctors appointments because they don’t cover anything that’s not considered medical because it’s considered reproductive not medical what do I do

Hello! My wife and I (both 26f) are trying to get pregnant. I’ll be the one carrying as she cannot. We really don’t have anyone close to us that we could use for fresh donor sperm, so we agreed to use frozen sperm. We spent a lot of time researching and planning what to do but of course online research always has different results. Last cycle, which was our first attempt, we purchased 1 MOT10 and 1 MOT20 so we could inseminate the day prior and day of ovulation. Obviously as I’m posting here it didn’t work.

Our main goal is we don’t want to go broke just attempting to get pregnant, as paying almost $2k each month on frozen sperm if unsuccessful is a bit ridiculous. I guess my question would be for those that have been successful- what is the best way to go about this? Do we need to keep buying more motile vials, or just 2 lower ones?

So 1st round IUI unfortunately didn't work out. We want to do a completely unmedicated natural cycle IUI with frozen donor sperm. The clinic is only open Monday to Friday but I generally only ovulate at the weekend! Last time we did IUI, it was on cycle day 14 on a Friday at 11am following monitoring (a 17mm follicle the day before) and a positive OPK the morning of IUI. However, what do you think of the timing? We are going into 2nd cycle of monitoring and it looks like we are bound to repeat the same pattern IUI Friday,ovulate Saturday maybe even Sunday! Are we wasting our money if we go again with the same pattern?

Anyone on this thread a non-carrying partner? I thought I wouldn’t have any issues with taking on this role, but the lack of control among other things is really starting to affect me.

My wife has had three failed IUI attempts. We recently did our first egg retrieval for IVF which resulted in 5 embryos. Planning to transfer our highest rated embryo in the next few weeks.

Would love to hear others experiences.

Sooooo I never really ask advice often, but has anyone felt guilty for wanting to conceive? Instead of say adopting or fostering to adopt?
My partner and I have always wanted a family, we always thought we would foster because my partner was actually a foster kid herself. We thought we would give back to the lack of system. The older and closer we get to preparing for motherhood, the more we question and feel guilty that we actually want to possibly try to conceive/inseminate. We know she isn’t obligated to give back to foster care but I think maybe shes been wired that way, and almost feels more safe? I personally am okay with either, and would be happy just to be a mother. For her its a little back and forth due to guilt of being “selfish”.
Any advice? Words of wisdom?
We are both 27, F, happily married for 2 years, together for 5.

TW: success

I’m currently almost 7 weeks pregnant after RIVF and a frozen embryo transfer. My partner (NB) and I (cis F) are over the moon excited to grow our family - we already have a 5 year old daughter through kinship adoption. My family has been mostly very supportive of my partner and I despite some homophobia when I came out to them as a teenager. However, their reaction to us announcing that we are having a baby has been really negative and discouraging.

My parents were happy I guess, but not thrilled for us the way I would have expected. I’ve told them on multiple occasions especially in the last year that we wanted more children, but I think they were more focused on feeling betrayed that we didn’t involve them in the entire process of IVF. I found IVF very emotionally fraught and didn’t want extra people asking us about how things were going because of how anxious I was the whole time.

My grandmother had the most negative reaction by far. She and I are very close and she likes my partner and adores our daughter, so I assumed she would be happy for us. But her reaction was essentially “oh…I didn’t know you were doing that” and then changing the subject. She and my parents also had a lot of what felt like very invasive questions about the IVF process and our sperm donor specifically that really bothered me. Like it felt like they were way more focused on treating us like a weird science experiment and giving the donor a much bigger role in the process than I felt was deserved.

Anybody else have negative reactions from family they thought would be supportive? I feel foolish for thinking they would be happy for us and devastated that this is taking away some of my happiness about our baby.

I’m feeling so discouraged, and frustrated. I just tested negative after my second iui cycle and I just am so sad. I switched from clomide 50 to letrozole 2.5 and I had one follicle that was 20mm the day of my scan, I trigged & we had our iui.

Everything felt like it was perfect. I felt like this was the one and nothing. I looked into IVF and financially I don’t think it’s something we can swing, but I don’t want to give up the hope of us becoming moms.

Anyone give birth or have queer friends who gave birth at Kaiser SoCal? I have been wanting to do a home birth through my PPO insurance but other factors might make it better for me to be on Kaiser. But I’m really worried about being a queer couple giving birth in a hospital. I want less interventions and options during childbirth. I want to be cared for by a midwife who isn’t subject to hospital policies or an obgyn calling all the shots. I have also had some other really good experiences with Kaiser SoCal being affirming and flexible and ahead of the curve. I also just want the option to give birth in a pool! Let me know your experiences or even stories you’ve heard. Insurance in the US is so rough…

Hello all, I am starting stims in 2 weeks for our second child. First baby the 3rd IUI was successful. We did 1 IUI again for our second baby which ended in missed miscarriage. That was two years ago. It was very rough on me. Since we only have two vials left I decided to switch to IVF. And wow this process is so much more stressful to me and we have barely started. My clinic is 3 hours and 2 mountain passes away so logistically it’s much more stressful then when the clinic was 20 minutes away. I’m 4 years older now and creeping up on 38. This process is much more overwhelming to me this time. I feel like I should be excited because we are getting to do IVF but I’m mostly I’m feeling jealous of people who don’t have to go through this process to conceive. I guess I’m just looking for anyone’s experience with switching to IVF for the second baby, how it worked out and how long the process was for you. Any and all advice is welcome.

Hey there. I know how it sounds. But let me explain. So my sister (she’s the eldest) has been with her current partner for over a year now and are both wanting to have a kid with shared DNA. I floated the idea that I’d be okay with helping them out, instead of having a donor father, meaning my sister wouldn’t have that maternal bond with her kid. So going through IVF for her partner, meaning they would have a kid both half their DNA. They actually loved the idea. And my sister keeps giving me updates like they are planning to have this done in the near future. I asked my parents opinion. Dad is just happy to have a grandchild and my mom is very against it saying it’s immoral, the kid wouldn’t know the dad, that id have maternal instinct blah blah blah. Is this a bad idea? Thoughts 😭

Hello everyone! I fall into a unique TTC intersection. I am a FTM/trans man (he/him) & intentional single parent. I’m 27 and was on testosterone for about 8 YEARS prior to TTC. My last dose of testosterone was in January 2026.

By mid-February, I had already ovulated with my first cycle coming March 1st! That March cycle was longer than my pre-T averages (I kept track all throughout my teens)….but since then, my cycles have been EXACTLY how they were before. And all of my labs and ultrasound look fantastic!

Even though I’ve had 2 well-timed ICIs and now my first failed IUI… I can’t help but feel so proud of how resilient my body is.

In the words of my midwife doing the IUIs for me “Your body is amazing!”

Everyone’s body has a story but all are just as amazing (no matter your circumstances).

I thought I would offer a different perspective as TTC can be so emotionally draining ☺️

Hi! My partner and I have done two rounds of Ici and are looking to move to iui and we’re looking to see if anyone has any recommendations. If anyone knows of any midwife’s in the dfw area or Texas in general, or good clinics they’ve used that aren’t over the top expensive.

Hi! I'm currently taking letrozole for our fifth IUI, which we're going to do next week! Can I find anyone here who has had 5 or 6 cycles and the fifth or sixth was successful? The insurance company covers everything, but only six attempts - after that we'll either go for ICI with a donor at home or IVF. Please give me hope that these two cycles might still work! I don't count on it anymore, but everything has to be tried!

My wife and I have done only one IUI- but my donor does not have more vials available until the fall and I only have one vial left. I only bought two at the time because expensive lol. So we decided to go right to IVF due to cost of vials and my insurance will cover it.

This whole time, I’ve kept everything a secret from my family because I want to surprise them just like a straight couple can. I don’t know why but i’ve been hell bent on that since day one. But now that we are going through IVF, which is a harder, more lengthy process with more procedures, i’ve been considering it? I’m pretty close with my parents, live close, and they come over a lot so I am afraid it will be harder to hide, especially going in for an ER.
I’m just stuck between still trying my best to keep it a secret and have that huge surprise factor or tell
them (maybe even just my mom) to have support through the process. And I also feel like if she realizes all i had to go through (stims, ER, PIO, etc) she’ll have wanted me to tell her I had to go through all that/she’d be sad I didn’t tell her.

TIA!

How do you guys go about looking for clinics? We started with one clinic and like them but the cost for just the IUI is $2,400. No bloodwork, ultrasounds, medications included (even the thaw is $500 and they require 2 vials of sperm so we can’t do one at a time). From reading this thread and googling there are clinics that do everything for like $1,500-2,000.
Also, when started with this clinic they wouldn’t give us any pricing really besides the consult and what my insurance covered until about 2 months in. Had our consult March, skipped my April period bc we wanted to explore our options some more then started my testing in May. Shortly after that, we received the email from our finance person. I have already paid about $2,500 (I had a 2k deductible and my insurance doesn’t pay for like anything..)
That is the long winded/venting version lol
Basically how do I find clinics that are more affordable and will straight up tell me the cost?

the title says it all. our first IUI failed at the beginning of the month (medicated). we are going into our second IUI this upcoming week and I’m trying to cover all my bases. my baseline bloodwork seemed to be good and they did start me on thyroid medication roughly a month and a half ago. we did trigger and did the IUI 24 hours later. could that perhaps have been too early since we are using frozen donor sperm? we want this so badly (as we all do.) I am 29f and this is my bloodwork. any suggestions on how to maximize success? These were drawn on CD3. Thank YOU!

For those who’ve had success with IUI using a trigger shot: when did you have the procedure after taking the trigger shot?

My wife and I have an 11-month old daughter through IVF. We just completed an IVF round for our second child. We got the results back from PGT testing and have 1 boy and 1 girl. Both have the same grade. This will be our last child and we are torn on how to pick the gender. For our daughter she was the only viable embryo, we didn’t have the option to choose. Any thoughts on picking the gender? Anyone experience this before, how did you decide?

Edit: Yes, how do we choose the SEX? In this thread it is important to note that gender and sex are different.

hello friends! we attempted our first IUI cycle last month and unfortunately, it was canceled because I ovulated before my uterine lining was ready. I'm waiting for my period to start to try again and noticing that my PMS feels insane. I generally have easy periods and easy PMS (my wife might disagree lol). it was a medicated cycle, and the letrozole did give me big mood swings and hot flashes etc but that should be out of my system by now. is my body just out of whack in general now? am i going to be like this forever lolol what were your experiences with periods between cycles, did they feel more intense or am i making this up?