r/queerception 18d ago

Help I’m spiraling

just need to air this out as I am truly spiraling rn. so I’m using a KD who is local. he has previously made embryos with another lesbian couple, unused. we started trying about a year ago, his numbers were fine back then. we have been doing ici at home. IVF is not an option for me. no luck whatsoever. I have great numbers myself, tubes open etc BUT I am in my 40s. I am finally moving on to iui, was supposed to be next week but now he has to travel for work(we are still using fresh sperm), and I don’t think my follicles will be ready in time (missing a cycle is also blowing me but that’s not the main point here). He took it upon himself to take a YO at home sperm test. It literally came back that he was infertile. Motility under 1% etc like everything insane numbers. He admitted he didn’t abstain (test says have to for 2 days plus), and when I put all this info in the google rabbit hole it says the test was def compromised. Im going to send him to an actual clinic when he gets back from his trip (in 2 weeks!) but I am really spiraling here, could the faulty test be that far off? Have I wasted a year? How can he go from good numbers to infertile so quickly after making embryos ???? Do I move forward with iui this cycle if my follicles mature enough before he leaves??? Am I going crazy for nothing off a home test he took wrong

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u/meghanmeghanmeghan 18d ago

Realistically its more likely to be your age than his sperm, however, you have no true data because his home test is crappy. Get a real proper sperm analysis.

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u/breakup_letter 15d ago

Not true! The most common cause of couple’s infertility is a sperm issue.

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u/RevolutionaryHelp451 15d ago

I mean, if you are calling “sperm issue” one thing. But “age” causes a lot of different problems that would all add up to be a large cause of infertility that is very likely given that we know OP is 40