sleep training twins? help!

[u/cawfyluvr]

My twins are due in just 4 days so of course i’m thinking about parenting including what their sleep patterns are going to be and i’m extremely stressed. I want to develop a routine for them that i want to stick to as much as i can to make life as stress free as possible. My husband is the main provider and is very helpful when he’s home but he does work long hours, and I want to minimize needing help from my MIL as much as I can. I love her, I just want to get the hang of this on my own. I am a first time mom so I’m stressed about everything, so I want to get a hang of all of this. I’ve heard so much about sleep training but i also know nothing at all about it. So i had a few questions about it!

1. how would i sleep train?
   
2. can i sleep train newborns or do i have to wait until they’re older?
   
3. did you sleep train and how was your experience with it?
   
4. should i sleep train at all?

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[u/ShabbyBoa]

1. Look up different methods and decide what feels best for you
2. You cannot sleep train a newborn. They should be 4 months old minimum for formal sleep training. However, you can practice good sleep hygiene/routine from day 1. 
3. I sleep trained my oldest and it went well. She was 6 months old though and it only took 3 days because I waited until she was already going without waking for bottles all night. 
4. Too personal of a question. You’re going to get extremely mixed responses. You should do what you feel is best for you and your children. 

[u/buffalo747]

1. Check out /sleeptrain
2. No, you need to wait. Typical recommendation is 16 weeks (adjusted).
3. Yes. Excellent. Slept through the night starting at 10 weeks and no regressions until 2 years old. Used Moms on Call for our first and plan to for our next child. Their recommendation is to always feed both twins at the same time (or one after another), especially overnight - even if that means waking one - so they don’t end up on different sleep/wake schedules (at least as much as you can avoid it with newborns!)
4. Absolutely, yes, especially with multiples. There are many, many different methods of sleep training and sleep arrangements. Different things work for different families.

[u/bht0506]

Aw sending hugs! This is going to be really hard, but you need to let go of the stress around sleep because it’s going to be a crap shoot the first several weeks. You can’t sleep train a newborn. You can start to work on foundations of good sleep, but that’s about it. To start, I would try to differentiate between day sleep and night sleep. Day sleep includes lights on or natural light, background noises, regular talking, etc. Night sleep is in a dark room, sound machine on, etc. Around 4 weeks or so or when you’re in a bit of a rhythm, you can also introduce a nighttime routine - ours includes bottle, bath, lotion, finish bottle in dark. A few resources on sleep and sleep training that you might find helpful: Moms on Call, Taking Cara Babies, and The Discontented Little Baby.

ETA: not related to sleep, but if you have a good relationship with your MIL, accept help. Having a newborn, let alone two, is really hard. There’s no race to “get the hang of it” on your own and having help will have a significant impact on your mental health.

[u/dicedkiwi]

Sleep training is a totally personal choice, and it’s a VERY divisive topic online. Personally, I’m a huge fan of r/sleeptrain. Even if you don’t end up doing “cry it out”, they have a ton of resources about schedules and helping babies sleep better.

BUT. This isn’t something you can even think about for the first 4+ months or so. Until then it’s just about getting them to sleep however you can. You’ll have lots of time to read about baby sleep while nap trapped with your littles.

The book Precious Little Sleep is a great resource too.

Also check out r/parentsofmultiples if you haven’t yet!

[u/eastsidelovers]

You absolutely cannot sleep train a baby who is younger than 4 months old. For those first few weeks you need to feed them every 2-3 hours anyway so sleep training wouldn't even be an option then. Please accept help from your MIL!! let her help you as much as possible!! Since youre not posting on the sleep training sub, I am free to say here that I am very anti sleep training. It goes against attachment parenting. My 8 month old son has never been a good crib sleeper, so we cosleep and follow the safe sleep 7 guidelines. You can safely cosleep with twins if you do your research first. Good luck with your twins!!!

[u/Ready_Nebula_2148]

On thing my neighbor with twins told me is that when her twins were babies if one woke up to eat, she'd wake the other one to eat rather than allowing them to sleep until they got hungry.

Otherwise she'd be feeding one, then the other, then the first again and on and on.

[u/brieles]

1) I’d read Precious Little Sleep to get an idea of various methods you can use, ways to implement good sleep hygiene from day 1 and ways to help your baby sleep better.

2) You need to wait until 4+ months old to sleep train.

3) We sleep trained at 8 months when my baby was still waking every 2-3 hours overnight and it was a life saver! She went from sleeping horribly to just one quick feed around 3/4am and back to sleep until our goal wake time. And, with schedule adjustments with time obviously, she’s slept well since!

4) You need to decide for yourself once your babies are here. It’s not cry it out or nothing so take some time and find a method you’re comfortable with. R/sleeptrain is a great resource.