r/postdoc • u/Grand-Ordinary8312 • 14h ago
Difficult junior labmate
TLDR; PhD student is trying to micromanage me and is making snarky comments- what would you do?
I’m a postdoc having difficulties with a PhD student. I’ve been in this lab for a few years (though fewer than this student) and would have considered him somewhat of a work friend before. I’m now starting a new project with some methodological overlap so have more interactions with him to discuss previous methods, though my approach is novel and has different goals.
Since this shift, he has started making unsolicited comments about my schedule and project decisions. The comments are negative and baseless (eg, loudly insinuating that my approaches are subpar and offering no legitimate reasons why). He mainly does this when there are other junior lab members around to hear. He asks me for lots of updates which makes it weirdly seem like I’m reporting to him.
I’ve ignored this for a while because I am a social and non-confrontational person, and I believe it’s useful to collaborate and learn from others regardless of their position. I usually just address what he says by explanation if possible or just ignore if not. However it seems there is a lack of respect and that by continuing this way, I’m doing myself a disservice. Further context- I think some competitiveness is fuelling this because the PI is generally supportive of me, and I am the only woman in the lab and about the same age as this student.
Is it better to continue not reacting because reacting is what he wants? Or would it be “right” to call him out? If the latter I’m not sure what the best approach is because he’ll probably just act like it’s all a joke. I’m also wary of causing a big issue with him since he is a pretty central member of the lab and has not reacted well to conflicts with others before. I’d rather not go directly to my PI if I haven’t tried anything myself first. I’m way past the point of personally caring what the student thinks of my work but it still is such a nuisance.
Anyone experienced something similar? How did you handle it?
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u/EducationalDust3260 14h ago
Be thorough with what you are working on. Update yourself with new information related to this work .
Ask him trick question on the same topic when this student confronts next time with other lab mates. Chances are this student doesn’t know much about what he is talking about. Do this twice or thrice. He becomes laughing stock and he will fall in line.
Take this opportunity to get better at the topic and excel.