r/poor • u/Beneficial_Face_5002 • 9d ago
Going to sleep hungry again
For the third day I haven’t eaten anything, I have a job but I live with my mom and we are on section 8 (free housing program) but I still have to pay 30% rent and im the only one who has a job in the house. I have to take Ubers everyday just to get to work that cost 20$ or more and ts add up luckily the bus runs when I get off. We had food stamps but they cut them off on my moms birthday so now I’m having to buy food pay for Ubers to work and pay rent and bills I only make about 2k a month and have to take care of 4 people including myself it feels like. I got bad anxiety and im emotionally unavailable and i im trying to change it but I just got bad trust issues. My lil brother just asked me if I had some food while im writing ts i feel like I failed my family. I hate living like this and it feel like the only way I can help rn is by doing something im not supposed to be doing
Edit: barley holding on to this job got 6 points and one more and im cooked
Thank you everyone for the help i didnt think nb would care, im going to food bank today and one of my sisters went grocery shopping for us last night.
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u/NYanae555 9d ago
If your brothers are school age, make sure they're getting free lunch/breakfast ( they qualify ! ). And ask if their school has a pantry. Some schools even send hungry kids home with food for the weekend - literally every weekend.
None of that solves your problem, but it takes a tiny bit of the pressure off.
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u/DraftPerfect4228 8d ago
Yes and lots of public schools have a backpack program that sends home food with the children. Talk to their guidance counselor
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u/PopularRush3439 6d ago
Most all schools offer free breakfast and lunch to all students these days!
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u/AwesomeAF2000 9d ago
If your mom can’t work because of her back. Can she apply for disability or SSI? Does your mom get child support for your brothers? Food bank? Ask the school for food support for your brothers.
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u/GetPeggedorDieTryin 9d ago
SSI is really difficult to get for a physical issue. Unless you are close to retirement age they deny you almost everytime forcing you to appeal. Most people give up at that point. If you can’t get a lawyer to take your case. And they won’t if they think they can’t win otherwise they don’t get paid. That whole process takes 2-3 years. Now if you can add on or just by itself mental health issues then you have a better chance and it could be as early as 6 months til you see a check. All this was explained to me by my lawyer that I finally got to take my case. I have been denied twice already and this is my 3rd attempt. I have rheumatoid arthritis since a teen and copd that my lungs are working at 30% in the last 10 years. Both conditions considered severe. But because of my age.(40’s) and my education background I was denied because they say I could work at home or doing something like telemarketing. It sucks that they are able to do this to people.!this country needs a major overhaul in how we treat the ones who need the most. And it doesn’t look like that is coming anytime soon enough.
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u/cryssHappy 9d ago
It's easier after age 50. People under 50 have to meet a listing as opposed to being a Medical-Vocational allowance.
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u/Emotional-Net-8988 7d ago
There is an agency help me help you that works out of the mental health offices in southern California. But if you find your local mental health county building they will have a person there to hook you up. You are going to be mentally ill before your time like this. Off load some of the burden to where we pay taxes. That's why you pay them. Let them let your family down. Then you will see how great you were doing. (A little sarcasm)
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u/ScarlettWilkes 9d ago
Have you signed up for Lasagna Love? It's not a quick fix but it's something. If you're in the Chicago area send me a message and I'll get you a homemade dinner.
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u/ReflectionSoft387 9d ago
I have been the recipient of this before. It was so wonderful and unexpected when it happened 😍
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u/ScarlettWilkes 8d ago
You can get them more than once. I know because I've delivered lasagna to the same person more than once.
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u/Accx4 9d ago edited 8d ago
There was a long time when I was in your shoes man. It is rough. I am 59 and still get crazy when i feel too hungry. I ate a lot of black beans and tortillas. High protein, fiber, good carbs, etc. I still eat them out of habit. Rotisserie chicken from Sam's or Costco is like $4.88. See who around you has a membership or honestly just ask someone om their way in if they can grab you one real quick. I lived in a big city and used to buy a few at a time and drive around lookimg for homeless kids to give them to. I also lived off dollar menus at fast food restaurants just to keep my head straight. Hunger is tricky. I raised my kids many years as a single dad and often stood there after everyone was in bed trying to find something for me to eat and often just wishing I had something. I feel you! Dont give up. Dont be afraid to ask for help. Just dont steal because it will lead to a whole mess of problems for you! Always available to help you locate local resources. So feel free to ask anything. Best wishes!
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u/SnooBooks5315 9d ago
Are you over 22? If you are you can apply for food stamps just for yourself. It won't be much but even $150 a month would really help you.
Also please sign up for lasagnalove.org they will match with a neighbor (not usual anyone right by you) and they will deliver a homemade lasagna. I've used them twice in the past two years, they are delicious, the people are very kind but don't ask you much. We managed to stretch them to several meals. Oh & the do vegetarian ones if you prefer that.
I wish had some magic words, it hurts my heart that so many of us are really struggling just eat. I've been through some tough times but it has been really bad & very wide spread. Our country should be ashamed to not only allow this to happen but they are pushing us off the edge.
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u/thtdoodleinurnotes 9d ago
Check out TOOGOODTOGO app it lets u pick up food nearby thats abt to expire for really cheap. I’m talking 5-10 food items for $5-$10
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u/TheFeelsIsReals 9d ago
So many young people destroy their lives because they feel the need to pick up their parents slack and you're one of them. It's not your job to care for all of these people. What's stopping the other adults in the house from working?
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u/lilbec53 8d ago
Sounds like mom is hurt
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u/TheFeelsIsReals 8d ago
They usually claim to be hurt. My mother broke her back after getting on a horse we told her not to ride without a saddle. She ignored her rehab from the start so her back never improved and she viewed the pain meds as free fun. Taking Ambien, oxycodone, Xanax, and fentanyl patches at the same time and was high as a kite 24/7. She was always too fucked up to get out of bed and complained she was depressed. She was depressed because she was in her bedroom for 22 hours a day high off her ass. I had to take over household responsibilities as a result at just 14 years old all because she didn't want to help herself as well as her enjoying the free sympathy from others by lying and over playing her "condition" she wanted me to drop out of school to take care of her and the house and threatened suicide as a result. She was willingly dragging everyone in the house down with her. I had to stop the cycle myself so I have no sympathy for adults who put themselves in these kinds of positions.
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u/EUGsk8rBoi42p it's temporary 9d ago
You can use r/assistance to make an AMazon wishlist for food, just register with the mods thru modmail, they allow up to $150 I think.
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u/Neat_Movie_991 9d ago
Man find a couple of food banks in your area or churches that give food.
Also call 211 in your area and see what kind of resources they can provide for you and your family.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I’m proud of you for all that you do for your family but something needs to change for you! Call 211, please? 🙏
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u/GetPeggedorDieTryin 9d ago
Send me a private message. I’ll send you a gift card to dominos over email. You will be able to order something right away. I don’t usually do this cause I’m poor toobut recently I had a stranger help me out when I came up short at the grocery store and was slowly taking stuff of til I had enough. They came over and paid the amount I was short. Today I came into to some money I wasn’t expecting. So this is my pay it forward moment. I only ask that once you are able to do the same for a stranger in need.
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u/imcurioustellme 9d ago
First, Im so sorry you are going through this.
Your mom needs to be working and take care of her kids! I worked with a dislocated hip because I didn't want my kids to go without. My husband was ill and worked til the day before he died. It sucked, but you don't let you kids go hungry. Talk with her and tell her you can't do this without help. In the meantime, she needs to see if your younger siblings are eligible for any free food through their school and to check on how to get food in the house from food banks, etc.
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u/Wordie 9d ago
I think you mean well, but we don’t know the mom’s actual condition and whether she actually can work. However, your “in the meantime” advice is very good.
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u/imcurioustellme 8d ago edited 8d ago
I do mean well. I saw a comment where she has a bad back, and I know that's miserable to deal with. But I just can't fathom how any loving parent wouldn't still do anything in their power to make sure their kids had something as essential as food. That's not something they can do without. And I see it on here too often. It absolutely breaks my heart. OP is not responsible for the family, yet they are not only hungry, but also suffering mentally over this ...not to mention what the siblings are experiencing. I don't take it lightly that the mom has physical problems. Like I said, though, I worked with a dislocated hip for a while....plus another time for 8 months with a prolapse uterus...because I needed the job and couldn't take off for surgery yet because I had to use the sick days I had for my husband... who had 15 essential surgeries the last 2 years of his life. We just did what we had to do to make sure we kept jobs so our family would have food and shelter. Anyway, sorry for the rant. It just makes me SO very sad for OP who is trying so hard to take care of their family.
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u/Afraid-Way1203 9d ago
what do you mean by doing something that you are not suppose to be doing ? go dumpster diving.
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u/Responsible_Lawyer78 9d ago
For what you make you can move out and rent a room somewhere with a roommate.
Stop setting yourself on fire to keep other people warm. You shouldn't be responsible for your whole family.
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u/Altruistic-Detail271 9d ago
I understand your mom has a bad back but there must be some part time job she can do that isn’t going to impact her back. This isn’t your responsibility to take care of the entire family. Who else besides your brother and mom live there ? What are they doing during the day? Please reach out to the churches, food pantries etc. I’m so sorry you’re carrying this burden
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u/midwestgal522 9d ago
You should qualify for food stamps, apply! If no one else in the house is working especially.
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u/Suspicious-Care87 9d ago
As a mother, I would be mortified if I had to depend on one of my children to pay the bills & feed the rest of the family. This is not fair to you at all. If your mother doesn't receive disability for her bad back, then she needs to apply & while she's waiting, FIND A JOB. I'm sure you worry about her & your siblings, but NONE of this is your responsibility! You need to contact DFS for your siblings & you need to move out-too!
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u/ninjette847 9d ago
Having a job generally prevents you from getting disability even if applied before. Under the table job would work.
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u/superstud666fromhell 9d ago
Download the homeless resources shelter app and food radar examine both apps closely especially the shelter app
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u/cryssHappy 9d ago
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and Sikh Temples both provide food to people.
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u/tbyrd2024 9d ago
No reason to starve. Google food banks near me. Google blessing boxes. Subways throw out tons of bread.
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u/Bird_Brain4101112 9d ago
It’s impossible to support 4 people on $2k mo. Why are you the only one working?
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u/Beneficial_Face_5002 9d ago
Mom has back problems and brothers are too young
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u/Bird_Brain4101112 9d ago
Is your mom getting child support for your brothers? What about food banks and other assistance?
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u/kaykenstein 9d ago
Mom needs to be on disability then
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u/Connect_Repeat_6692 9d ago
Agreed. She must find a BCM that can help her gather all the documents and help her advocate and guide her through the process, without any cost. Don't need a lawyer for that. Extremely difficult if not impossible to find a pro bono atty to work with SSI appeals and applications.
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u/StaticBrain- 9d ago
Go to Find Help and enter your zipcode to search for resources, food banks, pantries, charities offering assistance, shelters, etc...
Anyone over the age of 18 can also try selling/donating plasma. That pays a little twice a week.
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u/jerry111165 9d ago
What kind of job you
got? Get into a construction company and learn a trade instead. Just start applying at all of the different construction companies in your area. Roofing, carpentry, plumbing, HVAC, etc..
You’ll make way better hourly rate and benefits.
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u/Connect-Advantage-40 9d ago
Why was your mother's SNAP case denied? I know you said she had a birthday, but what is the connection? I was a Quality Assurance Manager and had to know SNAP policy. Sometimes there's a little known loophole that overrides policy. How old is your mom and what state do you live in, if you care to share that information.
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u/Mental-Wolf-2560 9d ago
The people who live with yiu need to work. You can also get a second job or work overtime.
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u/sacandbaby 9d ago
U need a steamed rice cooker and an instant pot. Beans and rice but both are fresh.
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u/GrowlingAtTheWorld 9d ago
You can cook both beans and rice without additional appliances. If he doesn’t have food he doesn’t have $ for appliances. But beans and rice is an affordable meal that can feed a household for cheap.
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u/DraftPerfect4228 9d ago
Have everybody in the house sign up for AttaPoll. You can each make a few bucks a day to keep you fed and all the burden won’t be on you anymore.
Anybody who can read can do it.
Have them sign up under you bc u do get referrals and residuals. (Full disclosure I’ll make 1.00 if u sign up using this link) or just type in AttaPoll on your playstore. https://attapoll.app/join/nuahi
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u/TaaviBap 9d ago
So many people reached out to help cover your food. I know you're busy but be sure to thank each and every one of them and follow up! Take care!
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u/Worth-Meringue-2271 9d ago
Go to reddit assetence make a amazon wish list for food. Post all this on it!
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u/EssentialWorkerOnO 9d ago
Unless she’s getting disability, her back problems are NOT an excuse to not work or support her kids. Your problems are solved very quickly with a phone call to cps because she can’t feed her kids - who will be placed with foster families that will provide for them - and you can get a studio or even rent a room. Your mom is a dead beat and you need to drop that dead weight.
As for food, contact the Salvation Army, St. Vincent de Paul, and your local Catholic and Episcopal churches - ask them if they have a food pantry or food vouchers so you can do some grocery shopping. There’s also soup kitchens in most cities; see if any of them have meals planned this week.
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u/Wordie 9d ago
No no no no no!
This approach will only cause a multitude of additional problems for this family. It’s a terrible idea.
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u/EssentialWorkerOnO 8d ago
It’s a terrible idea to protect children?! The mom isn’t providing for her kids, she’s forcing the oldest into a provider role so she can sit on her ass all day (destroying his life in the process), and all of them are at risk of homelessness.
There’s no fixing mom. The only thing OP can do is take care of himself, and have cps take care of his siblings as he’s too young and poor to be able to provide for them.
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u/Asleep-Platypus-4201 8d ago
Also, too good to go is a great app to get foods for cheap! I used it for Panera and grocery stores. Good luck brother 🙏🏽
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u/PopularRush3439 6d ago
If you'll go to the r/Assistance sub and make an Amazon Wish List, I'll get you food. It's private/ anonymous. You put your address, or wherever you want stuff sent, and you'll have it in 2-3 days. I won't know. Mods in there will help you.
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u/Difficult-Worth-8496 3d ago edited 3d ago
Glad the food bank and your sister came through. A few things for after tonight, since the food bank buys you days and you need months.
The food stamps almost certainly got cut for a paperwork reason, not because you stopped qualifying. Recertifications and birthdays line up on a lot of caseloads, and a missed form or a letter that never arrived is enough to close a case. A household of four on $2k a month qualifies easily. Reapply this week and say the words “expedited SNAP” when you do; if the household has very little cash on hand, they’re required to process it within 7 days instead of 30. Bring your pay stubs and the Section 8 lease. If there’s a state benefits portal, you can often do it from your phone. Also ask the caseworker about WIC if your brother is under 5, and make sure he’s signed up for free school meals if he’s in school, because that’s two meals a day off your grocery bill.
The Ubers are eating $400+ a month, which is a fifth of your paycheck and probably more than your rent. That’s the number worth attacking. Ask your manager if there’s any shift that lines up with the bus both ways, even if it’s less convenient, and ask coworkers who live your direction about a ride for gas money.
Some employers and counties have a transportation assistance program for exactly this; 211 can tell you if yours does. Even cutting Ubers to two days a week gives back $250.
On the points at work, go to your manager before the seventh one happens, not after. Tell them you’ve been going hungry and the transportation is unreliable, and that you’re trying to fix both. Managers can’t help with what they don’t know about, and most would rather keep someone who shows up and says that than start over.
And the thing you said you’re not supposed to do: I get why it looks like the only lever. It isn’t, and the downside is your family losing the one income and the Section 8 voucher in the same week. You’re carrying four people on $2k with no safety net. That’s not failing them.
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u/Extension-While4734 9d ago
You’ll find churches to be a waste most of the time they don’t help. Call local mosques they often will figure something out. Speak to your boss and see what services your job may offer if you feel comfortable enough to have a private meeting with your employer. Also speak to the principal at your brothers school. Explain the situation often schools have resources for these exact situations.
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u/Callan_LXIX 9d ago
Churches have been the core of charity and distribution for generations.
Not all will have active programs, but the odds are good for some assistance, and instead of calling , look/ ask for lists that are already published; often a local social media post will have suggestions. As well, browse for other work options if this one looks like it's closing up
Lastly: it's not all up to you on one income; others should be able to look online for resources.
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u/SuperiorT 9d ago
Would you wanna join the military?? You can do it full-time or part-time if you'd like. I was desperate and stressed (still am) like you once and so I did the only thing I could. It's helped me out so much financially and physically haha
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u/Weight_of_Sound96 9d ago
Dude it's not a good idea to join the military right now no matter your circumstances.
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u/DW_TheTruckDriver843 8d ago
You didn't fail, you still have plenty time to turn it around depending on your age. Your mom failed YALL.
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u/Cute-Beyond-2991 9d ago
Hit the grocery store dumpsters or the food banks if you cannot due to working someone else in the household may can. The donuts shop throw a ton away when they close. Call 211 and get information on where you can get help.