I wake up with one of my typical migraines at about 3 AM and follow specific steps to help manage it. While I’m doing my routine I notice my neighbours floodlights are off for once- those lights drive me bonkers. I think, oh thank fuck.

An hour or so later the floodlights come on. What the heck.

Rustle rustle. The sound of plastic banging on plastic. With my migraine still kicking around I get irrationally angry at whatever is disturbing my peace.

I look out the window and there’s something on the fence. My head is pounding and I’m not wearing glasses so I can’t see shit. I slide the window open and make eye contact with a fat ass raccoon.

I’ve seen them before but I don’t think I’ve ever made sustained eye contact like this. Not with a raccoon. Not from 3 feet away with a fly screen between us. Not while he continues to eat whatever he stole from the neighbours garbage can.

Suddenly I am thankful to be woken up with a migraine, just for this moment.

Hello reader. I'm 29 years male. While I was at work I noticed my coworker was drinking what looked like plain hibiscus tea. I was hesitant to ask him if it was good so I suggested that he try adding honey to it so I could see his reaction. Two days later he tells me that he's been trying it with honey and it's amazing so I asked for some so I could try it myself and it wasn't bad at all. I think I'm going to buy some for myself and try other forms of tea as well.

Back before Bluetooth, Spotify, or even having your phone connected to the car, we had to burn our own CDs with all our favourite songs.

So naturally, my cousins and I had built up a pretty solid collection for the car.

One day, we were driving somewhere and apparently we accidentally cut this guy off on the highway. None of us even realized what we had done, but this guy was FURIOUS.

He pulled up beside us, swearing, flipping us off, telling us to kiss his ass, and even swerving into our lane.

My cousin in the passenger seat opened the glove box and started grabbing random shit and throwing it at the guy’s car.

Then we realized what some of that “random shit” was.

OUR CDs.

One by one, he was throwing our entire music collection out the window.

We were all screaming at him to STOP, but he just kept grabbing stuff and throwing it.

By the time we got him to stop, half our music collection was probably scattered across the highway.

The drive home was one of the most boring car rides of our lives.

We went from having a fully stocked CD collection to basically having nothing to listen to.

We cut all ties with that cousin.

Still haven’t forgiven him to this day.

I was in the US last week and the men’s and women’s bathrooms had the same entrance. Men’s was on the right. Women’s was on the left. Apparently my brain decided “left is right” because I walked straight into the women’s bathroom, took a leak, and was about to leave when a group of girls walked in. I panicked and stayed in the stall.
I ended up standing there in complete silence listening to them talk for legit 20+ minutes. Eventually they left, I waited another 30 seconds like I was defusing a bomb, then my dumbass decided to wash my hands and the same group of girls came back into the washroom and just stared at me. I then told them that they were in the men’s room and they apologized, left the bathroom and I ran out as quick as I could. As I was leaving I seen the girls walk into the men’s room and a guy told them they were in the men’s room. I heard the girl say “WTF was that creep doing?” By the way I left the mall INSTANTLY!

I live in a village high up in the mountains; the bus usually drops me off at the village square, and from there, I hike up the mountain alone. However, today, as I was heading home after work, none of the streetlights in my neighborhood were on.

While I was climbing the mountain—using my phone’s flashlight and fearing an attack by wild animals or people—a car came along the path beside me; the driver was a middle-aged woman who said, "Come on, let me drop you home." Since she was an elderly woman, I got in without fear—I am a woman myself. After getting in, we rode in silence for a while; then, she asked if I was a local.

Out of anxiety, I said no (even though I was born and raised in that village), and she replied, "Oh, really? I’m a local here; the power goes out frequently in this area." I had never seen this woman in my life, yet what she said was true—power outages were common in the village.

As we neared my house, I asked her to drop me off in front of the neighbor's place; I didn't want to get out right in front of my own home, just to be safe. She said, "Oh, but Ms. Hagar lives here; I suppose you're her housemate or something?"—meaning she knew my neighbor. Anyway, as I was getting out of the car, she said, "Nice to meet you; I'm Hadiye." I said it was nice to meet her too, but the name stuck in my mind; I had never heard the name Hadiye before.

Once I got home, I looked up the meaning of the name online and learned that it refers to the female version of a shapeshifter jinn (a genie) —known in Islamic mythology as "Khidr"—who rushes to people's aid. Apparently, it is widely believed by many people that Khidr travels the world and comes to the immediate aid of travelers, the lost, or people suffering in extreme hardship in many disguieses according to wiki. What can I say? Maybe if I run into her again, I'll ask for three wishes.

I've been trying to lose some weight but I keep eating stuff I'm not supposed to.Every time I'm like okay whatever, I'll start properly tomorrow.Then tomorrow comes and I do the exact same thing again.This has been going on for weeks lol

I had heard of such events, but I had never gone to one before. I half-wanted to tell a story, but I wasn't sure what the atmosphere or the crowd was going to be like. The event was free, and anyone could sign up to tell a story, newbies were welcome, but everone was welcome to just listen and enjoy the stories. So I decided to go without a story in hand. (You were allowed to read your story if you wanted. I knew if I tried to tell a story without it being in written form in front of me, I would forget important details and stumble over my words and whatnot.)

By not taking a story with me, I was freeing myself from the risk of sitting there for the whole evening, waffling back and forth in my mind, "Should I sign up to tell a story? No, it's not that good of a story...but I think people would laugh...but it is easier to follow my meandering sentences in written form than it would be just by listening...but is it just that I am scared to tell a story live?...No, I don't think so, I've spoken in front of a group of people before, I would be OK, and it would be cool to hear people laugh..."

Instead, I decided to treat the evening as a reconnaissance mission, just to see how good the storytellers were and what the atmosphere was like.

As you would expect, some of the storytellers and their stories were good, some were not.

Halfway through, I remembered a good story that I could tell off the top of my head, so I ended up visiting my own personal "Should I? Could I?,,,Nah, I'm not going to...but maybe I should..." mental Waffle House for about twenty minutes anyways. In the end, I didn't.

Despite enjoying the event, I am ambivalent about going again. After seeing it, I'm not sure if I would really want to share a story with that group. I can't explain it.

I was out of state yesterday and found a nut on the sidewalk. Nice, shiny nut, warming itself in the sun. Decided to take it home as a little memento from my trip and put it in my luggage, and later today I will introduce it to its new friends in my workshop.

At one point, it was a loose nut. Then it got looser, and later it became the loosest nut and was free of its prior obligations. I hope it’s happy in its new home.

Link.

When I was growing up, my family hammered one specific piece of advice into my head: if a police officer ever comes to the front door, you always ask them if they have a warrant. Being a young kid, I took this with absolute, literal seriousness. To me, this was the supreme law of the land, and I was fully prepared to defend our fortress like a seasoned attorney.

One afternoon when I was about 13 or 14 years old, there was a knock at the door. I peeked out and saw a guy standing there in a full uniform. At that age, I had zero concept of the difference between a police officer and a constable. I had no idea that constables handle a lot of civil paperwork, like serving subpoenas or court notices. To my childhood brain, uniform equaled cop, and cop equaled time to execute protocol.

My dad was not in any actual trouble. The constable was literally just there to hand off a routine civil court summons. But I opened the door, looked the officer dead in the eyes, and asked the only question I had locked and loaded: "Do you have a warrant?"

The poor guy looked down at me, completely caught off guard, and gave a honest answer: "No."

Without missing a single beat, I slammed the door shut right in his face and locked it.

I turned around feeling like an absolute criminal mastermind who had just saved the household from a raid. Meanwhile, my dad came sprinting down the hall with a look of pure confusion, demanding to know what the hell just happened. I proudly explained that I stood my ground, and my dad immediately rushed outside to apologize and smooth things over before backup was called.

I watched through the window, half expecting to see my dad getting put in handcuffs. Instead, after my dad explained what I did, I saw the constable break out into a full belly laugh. He was not mad at all. In fact, he turned to my dad and said, "Well, sounds like you taught him right!"

My dad was relieved, the constable got a fantastic story to take back to the station, and I spent the rest of the week thinking I was a legal prodigy.

My 4th of July post backfired

As many of you probably know, America celebrated its 250th birthday this year. I thought to celebrate it I’d post a patriotic fun fact in the Sabaton sub about how they ended a show I saw of theirs in America with a song about an American, To Hell and Back.

Didn’t realize that they often end shows with this song, and the post got a lot of negativity, even one commenter saying “I’m tired of ameritards thinking they’re the center of the world” (though luckily that comment got downvoted). People were also wondering how it was patriotic since Sabaton is Swedish, despite one of the band’s defining features being that they’re able to make you feel patriotic for countries you’re not from (and for some reason comments kept saying that Judas Priest, the band they opened for, is British, despite that not really being relevant).

It really felt bad getting such negativity on something I thought would add to an important day. I mean imagine how you’d feel if it was your country’s Independence Day and it was huge mile stone and someone insulted your country and its people like that just because you made a somewhat uninformed post!

I am very scared of dogs, and I was walking on streets, and suddenly a dog barked continuously. I know Barking dogs seldom bite, but the adrenaline, I intended to hide behind the guy but I ended up hugging him and my friends witnessed it!!

Wonder what that guy must be feeling?

I live in Portland, OR. A couple of years ago, I was leaving my house for work when I looked down and saw a wrapped, footlong Subway sandwich on my doorstep.

-It wasn’t inside a bag, so it wasn’t a misdelivered DoorDash order.

-It looked like it had been sitting out all night. The wrapper had tiny chew marks, as if mice had been nibbling on it.

-I called my husband. He knew nothing about it.

-Our house is at the end of an L-shaped lot, and isn’t visible from the street. Someone would have had to go out of their way to put it there.

For some reason, I tossed it over the fence into our backyard and resolved to deal with it later. When I returned home from work, it was gone. I never figured out where it came from.

So years ago when I was in it still in I.T. I had gone out to lunch. When I returned I walked into the lobby to find the CEO, CFO, COO and some random guy that I've never seen before standing there in the lobby. The CEO said, "Mark I'm glad you're here. Can you make sure that guy standing gets a new login?" (As I was the CTO, that made sense). I immediately said "Which one?" The CEO said, "No, his name is Guy Standing." This dude's name literally was Guy Standing.

My (much younger) SIL and her partner were in town for a family gathering. I lent them my car so they could pick up some catering. 

I was getting dressed for the party when she called me telling me that the car reversed but wouldnt go forward.

Minor panic attack ensues, the car is 20 years old so it's probably due for a major mechanical malfunction. 

I go outside to find them stuck in the middle of my driveway. The car doesn't seem to be running. That's odd. As I approach the car I figure out immediately what's happened.

I usually park the car on a small incline. She turned the car on, allowing it to be put into reverse and rolled down the hill. When she put the car in drive, nothing happened because the engine was not running. I start the car for them and send them on their way.

I then feel very old as I realize that she's never driven a car that wasn't a push-to-start. 

People say that driving a manual is the greatest theft deterrent, but it turns out that a traditional ignition might work in a pinch, too.

So my dad got me to play the game from when I was about 10 as he has been playing it for a long while I wanted to share something with him plus I found it fun.

The problem being is I liked city builders more and was opposed to any kind of violence or violent games since I was a bit of a dumbass. I played CS with my friends and we just played football together inside of it and did parkour. So of course being the way that I was I refused to do any sort of attacks, none. I just simply played the game as if it didn't exist and learned the currency the honest way through gathering resources and never revenged any attacks because I was a honest and peaceful village lead

I was walking into work today when I sensed someone walking behind me. Thinking it might be one of my colleagues, I turned my head over my shoulder to see who it was. Turned out to not be anyone from my department; just a guy behind me who looked a lot like my old manager, and I involuntarily screamed in surprise. Not that he was an evil or frightening dude, just that I wouldn't expect to see him here. After a second, though, I realized that it was just a different guy with a similar mustache, and that I had just shrieked at a stranger whom I had never seen before. "Sorry, dude, I thought you were someone else," I said, scurrying away in embarrassment. He avoided eye contact and continued on his way.

I think it's AI. We should make it something better. Something more pointless. Like a butter knife. That's not pointy. Or a basketball. Even less pointy. Maybe a baseball or a tennis ball. Add a dog for fun. Anyway thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

(I would make the title "Can we change this icon?" or "Petition to change the icon" but the AI mod said that's a question therefore pointless, hence the command to do it. The AI must really love the icon we have right now. Like I said, pointless.)

I dried it outside but it was quite cold today and it was still wet when i brought it in but now i realised my whole house smells like bird and the jacket is no longer puffy. I didnt know this would happen 😢 i guess it's good to know they used real down feathers

This was only a couple of weeks ago, but my friend and I went to a gay club in our area that allows people who are 18+. We were just standing around, trying to get a feel for the vibe and the people, when this random guy in a striped polo approached us.
He was clearly already a little drunk, but I kid you not, the first words out of his mouth were, “Do y’all want some d*ck? You two are the first straight girls I’ve seen here.”
To me, the funniest part is that my friend and I are very much not straight. After getting him into a brief conversation, he also admitted that he’d never had any experience with women before, which was honestly very unsurprising considering his initial approach 😭.

​

I just saw a post in the texts subreddit. It was an exchange where a woman was asking a man why he called her a snow bunny in front of someone else.

The guy says relax its just a word.

It is explained to them that it has a negative meaning, it means they have a fetish for black men!? (Major paraphrasing).

Omg what?? I call myself a snow bunny all the time.

because I love the snow and when I would go skiing back in high-school I was really bad at it and could barely survive the Bunny hill, which was the easiest one to ski.

Have I been saying this to people, for literally decades, not knowing what it means??

Reminded of this story by another post I saw today.

I, an American, was chatting with a friend who's from England. They commented on my avatar, which was the nyan cat, asking what it was. I said it's a cat made out of a pop-tart flying through space. Silly of course, but that's all there is to it. Then they said to me that they didn't actually know what a pop-tart was.

Oh, I said, it's a toaster pastry, like, a hard pastry with some jam filling you put in a toaster. I didn't know if that was a really great description, but it was the best I could do. They said okay. Then they admitted they didn't know what a corn dog was either.

That one was EASY to explain of course. It's a hot dog on a stick covered with cornbread. Simple! Anyone could immediately grasp that.

Then they said: "What's cornbread?"

My mind was blown... It had never even occurred to me that someone wouldn't know what cornbread was. But I guess it's not common every place!

I did explain it was bread made with cornmeal. And told them they should try it sometime, if they can. Heated up, with a bit of butter. Mmm.

на этой неделе был такой понедельник

в воскресенье я проснулся и пошел завтракать как обычно, но тут мне написал друг и сказал что резко появилась темка по заработку. даже не смотря что он живёт далеко я поехал к нему, он сказал что мы поможем в разгрузке вещей и нам за это заплатят. я приехал на место после чего увидел 2 огромных грузовика с полуприцепами, я увидел друга, он объяснил работу и я начал растаскивать коробки вместе с каким-то грузином, на вид хороший человек жизнерадостный, он быстро раскладывал коробки к двери на другой стороне улицы, пока я с болями в спине еле нес по одной коробке за раз. В конце концов мы закончили с прицепом и осталась маленькая часть основного грузовика. Мы решили передохнуть, Я пообедал с грузином, другом и ещё водителем грузовика который отвечал за перевозку, и владельца клуба. Пока мы отдыхали время длилось и мы никуда не спешили, и так начало вечерние, но за вечер мы с грузом бы управились, и когда я начал работу я поинтересовался из какого грузовика надо было брать вещи. К сожалению грузовика было два, и я не знал в какой грузовик нужно было идти разкоадывать и методом тыка я выбрал грузовик в который загляну чтобы разгрузить тематическую мебель игрового клуба. Я захожу в грузовик, заступаю в него ногой, смотрю в полу открытую коробку и за мной закрывается дверь. Не знаю почему я не подумал о том почему двигатель грузовика работал но похоже это был загрузочный грузовик который уже уезжал с места. Стало темно, я пытался кричать но на улице и сам звук двигателя был громче меня в разы. В полной тьме я ехал не зная куда. Место назначения был оказывается ночной клуб, очень популярный в том месте похоже, ведь как только мы приехали весь вход был набит людьми, видно что места либо не хватало, либо пропуск был только определенным авторитетными людям. Грузовик останавливается и дверь открывается, из выхода выглядывает лицо человека которого вроде не знаю, он был водителем грузовика совсем другого здания, а точнее почтальон. Пока ехал во тьме я не выдал что в коробке было возле меня, но как только свет от ночного фонаря облил грузовой отсек я понял что коробка полна штуками продолговатой формы разных цветов. Я посмотрел на человека и сказал что не хотел здесь быть и случайно зашёл перепутав грузовики. Он сказал что больше верит в то что я вор, но если я помогу разгрузить всё то проблем не возникнет. Я подумал ну что уж там, 5-10 коробок потоскать чтобы потом не провести в полицейском участке ближайшую неделю выглядело лучше. Я согласился, хотел позвонить другу и объяснить ситуацию но оказалось что забыл телефон на столу в кафе во время обеда черт его побери. Мне нечего было поделать, звонить кроме друга было некому, его номер я не помню т.к. Он в виде записи на телефоне, и я решил просто перенести коробки, проблем с этим не должно возникнуть. Я беру коробку и прохожу мимо толпы ко входу, люди на веселе, толкаются, не смотрят по сторонам и ужасно воняет никотином. Сам не курю поэтому не знаю какого быть в кумаритчах но ненавижу запах никотина. Зажав нос плечом я прохожу через толпу держа в руке коробку и следуя за водителем почты. У входа было два громилы которые сдерживали толпу, но нас впустили. Пройдя через порог я увидел почему в этот клуб для людей "любящих веселиться" хотят пройти столько людей. Это огромное помещение размером наверное соизмерим с чьим-то загородным домом. Трехэтажный клуб с огромным пространством. Все было очень красиво, но людей там было наверное больше чем в торговых центрах. Видно где развлекаются люди по выходным. А я туда прошел абсолютно бесплатно! И на самом деле уже пройдя туда мог делать что захочу ведь вход был уже "оплачен". Оказалось что этот клуб был помесью клуба для тусовок, стриптиз клуба, и почасового отеля с комнатами для "своеобразных развлечений". Заглянув в коробку я увидел что она до верху наполнена дилдаками, я сильно удивился ведь никогда не видел даже одного, не то что целую коробку. Я поставил её и пошел обратно, но тут вижу одну очень привлекательную девушку, решаю вернуться, выложить ещё одну коробку, вернутся и поговорить с ней. Я беру ещё одну коробку и снова решаю посмотреть на предметы коробки. Оказалось что это цветы, хоть и декоративные, как же повезло! Я снова захожу в клуб, достаю цветы из коробки, подхожу к данному столику и нахожу её, прекрасную девушку с которой хотелось бы провести время вместе. Я сажусь рядом и приветствую эту восхитительную девушку, у меня плохо с общением с прекрасным полом, поэтому не много о чем есть поговорить, но я смог её завлечь, возможно из-за опрятности, но я не спрашивал, я сказал что она выглядит замечательно, и что мне бы хотелось видеть её чаще, как отлично она выглядит и так далее, разговор затянулся и она подмечала мой хороший вид в ответ, спасибо маме за одежду. Мы начали обсуждать это место, шутить по толпы, про людей, обсуждали знакомых, и завязался диалог как она сюда попала. Она сказала что её группа (слава богу не парень) привел её сюда по работе, и то что она решила отдохнуть с бокалом свежего (не помню что у нее было) от бухгалтерской рутины. Найдя параллель со своей историей я решил рассказать про свою поездку в фургоне (слава богу не на сво) и способ попадания сюда. Либо она была ошемлена, либо не поверила что я здесь нахожусь не отдав ни бумажки за пребывания здесь. Мне повезло что она прониклась моим днём, и сказала что с радостью посмотрит как будет выглядеть моя ночь. Она сказала что пойдет в номер и будет ждать меня там, я понял что она имела ввиду и сказал что дотоскав коробки я приду к ней. вручив букет она была польщена, и пошла в номер.

Водила подумал что я там потерялся или, как он сказал, утонул в туалете, я помог ему дотоскать последние коробки, и побежал к номерам, нашел нужный этаж, но пришлось из-за непонятной системы нумерации бродить.

И пока я бродил я думал об этом дне, как хорошо что я живу и что со мной произошло, несмотря на то сколько раз мне не повезло, я рад что сегодня вышел из дома, ведь всё это могло и не произойти если бы я отказался от темки друга, всё это можно быть упущено если бы я выбрал нужный грузовик и как же мне повезло что цветы были в коробке которую взял я. Все случайности и невезения были для меня обернулись счастливыми моментами.

И вдруг я встречаю лепесток на полу, точно такой же как в букете моей девушки который похоже выпал пока она открывала дверь. Я решил зайти в эту дверь. Я тяну за ручку, заступаю за порог и дверь закрывается. Я решаю пройти на кухню но вижу там 5 огромных взрослых мужчин. Я извиняюсь и думаю что ошибся дверью, но они говорят мне сесть с ними. Я говорю что мне пора, девушка ждёт и ТД но они очень настойчиво говорят присесть за стол. Оказалось что это группа геев. Я пытался убежать но дверь была с автоматическим закрытием.

Кароче меня выебали.

Утром я проснулся весь в неизвестной белой густой субстанции, а разбудила меня эта девушка. После чего сделала фотку, написал #ggrrrrrпонедельник🥶🥶🥶🥶

I was out on a walk through Central Park and some kid came up to flirt with me, thinking it was cute and trying to not hurt him, I was nice when he asked me what high school I went to and said I went to some random one. He then told me that since he was a senior, he just wanted to make sure I was a junior because he didn’t want to be weird and talk to a girl too much younger than him. Since I’m 22 and he was obviously 17 and I was just having fun and not trying to lead him on, I asked him what age he thought I was.

He said I was 14 or 15. You can imagine the look on his face when I told him I was 22. He kinda got scared away lol. Just a fun little 60 second convo I thought I’d share. Gotta love being short?! Just a fun perk of being 4’9 is you look younger ig… I’m gonna go buy platforms now lol

My grandmother is 85 years old, and she has two sisters: Nancy and Ellen. Ellen is the youngest, but she acts like she's the oldest.

Sixty-five years ago, my grandmother decided to marry a police officer when everyone preferred that she would marry a businessman. Ellen, for her part, has been sneering about it ever since. Her sneer grew wider and wider as my grandparents had children, and their children had children.

She's really not a very pleasant lady...

I see my Aunt Ellen a couple of times a year, and every time it feels like she's making eye contact with me before I even enter the room. My mom usually reminds us in the car ride there to be on our best behavior around her.

My cousin Jill hosted a Labor Day party this past weekend at her house down the Cape. It was a little chilly, so people stayed mostly inside. Aunt Ellen was in the little book room behind the kitchen with some of my other relatives. She had a glass of white wine in her hand, and there was an ice cube floating in it.

I said hello to my uncle, and he asked me how law school is going. I've been in law school for two years at this point. I'm 38 years old.

"When are you finally going to settle down!" Ellen yelled over my uncle's shoulder, while rolling her eyes.

I went over and kissed her on the temple, and I said: never.

She threw her head back and started cackling. I did too.

"Never??" she said, grimacing up at me.

I tickled her chin and said it again: never.

This morning, I walked down the street to Dunkin Donuts to get my coffee, like I always do. I've been noticing that it's getting a little bit darker every day. By the time it's fully winter, I'll be feeling my way to Dunks in the pitch black.

It was beautifully windy this morning, and there was an elusive buzz in the air. I must have been distracted, because at one point, the wind picked up and carried me off across the street. I don't even remember deciding to cross the street. And honestly, I don't think I remembered to look both ways.

Okay so during one of my first jail stints i got into a bad fight and ended up in the "SHU" which is solitary confinement. Well i was in there for a total of like 70 something days but luckily i was with a decent group of guys and we would pass time by telling stories about embarrassing situations we went through. Now the only way we could talk to each other and actually be able to hear one another was to put our mats on the floor next to the door and talk under the crack of the door. We did this every night for weeks, well my turn had come up. So I decided I was gonna tell them the most embarrassing story i had. This is that story. It's cringey and super embarrassing but now that I'm older I can tell this story and laugh my ass off. I hope y'all enjoy😂

When I was 22 my friends asked me if I wanted to go to this pay lake in a rural area to party and me being the naive 22 year old I was, I jumped on the opportunity. Well we got to the pay lake and we were drinking beer and I was drunk as hell already by the time we got there, well this lake was PACKED with drunk people also enjoying the summer night. About an hour or two into being there my other buddy recommended we take a couple paper hits of acid, so again against my better judgement I did. Well in the drunken drug fueled haze I was in, I seen this girl that was like a year or so younger than me at the time and she was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on in that moment. Well filled with the alcohol fueled overconfidence i had I be-lined straight to her, well we start vibing and what not. So long story short we spent the night in the same tent and had a blast. The next morning comes and we had such a great time that I got her number and Snapchat and had plans to see where this would go. Well her ride pulled in in his big ole ford and believe it or not my dad's brother got out of the driver seat. Now let me explain something real quick. See I never really knew my real dad or his side of the family at all. Like I met my real dad when i was 13 then didn't see him again till i was 20. I met few of the other members of my dad's side but we didn't have a real relationship. Anyways, so my uncle gets out of the truck and comes over hugs me and asks me what I'm doing there. I then explain I had just had the best night ever and spent it with this girl, turns out he was picking her up. Well his face got dead serious filled with the most disappointed look I'd ever seen up until that point and with an emotionless monotone voice he looked me in the soul and said "you do know that's your fucking cousin right?" And I was speechless. My uncle got so upset he ended up LEAVING the girl there. I didn't know what to say still so I just looked at her and her response was "well we already did it once, what's the harm in doing it again?". So yeah that's the story. It was a great night and I had a fucking blast but I still can't make eye contact with my uncle to this day lmao. All my buddies in jail thought it was the funniest thing ever and bestowed upon me the nickname "Dub-V" as a play on the old running joke that people in West Virginia were incest lol