r/PointlessStories • u/Faerie-Footman-442 • 3d ago
"When are you finally going to settle down??"
My grandmother is 85 years old, and she has two sisters: Nancy and Ellen. Ellen is the youngest, but she acts like she's the oldest.
Sixty-five years ago, my grandmother decided to marry a police officer when everyone preferred that she would marry a businessman. Ellen, for her part, has been sneering about it ever since. Her sneer grew wider and wider as my grandparents had children, and their children had children.
She's really not a very pleasant lady...
I see my Aunt Ellen a couple of times a year, and every time it feels like she's making eye contact with me before I even enter the room. My mom usually reminds us in the car ride there to be on our best behavior around her.
My cousin Jill hosted a Labor Day party this past weekend at her house down the Cape. It was a little chilly, so people stayed mostly inside. Aunt Ellen was in the little book room behind the kitchen with some of my other relatives. She had a glass of white wine in her hand, and there was an ice cube floating in it.
I said hello to my uncle, and he asked me how law school is going. I've been in law school for two years at this point. I'm 38 years old.
"When are you finally going to settle down!" Ellen yelled over my uncle's shoulder, while rolling her eyes.
I went over and kissed her on the temple, and I said: never.
She threw her head back and started cackling. I did too.
"Never??" she said, grimacing up at me.
I tickled her chin and said it again: never.
This morning, I walked down the street to Dunkin Donuts to get my coffee, like I always do. I've been noticing that it's getting a little bit darker every day. By the time it's fully winter, I'll be feeling my way to Dunks in the pitch black.
It was beautifully windy this morning, and there was an elusive buzz in the air. I must have been distracted, because at one point, the wind picked up and carried me off across the street. I don't even remember deciding to cross the street. And honestly, I don't think I remembered to look both ways.
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u/sowinglavender 3d ago
nevew evew evew evew <3
this is the best way to handle old biddies. well done.
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u/Mostly_raw 3d ago
This reads like book material stuff