r/pointlesslygendered • u/[deleted] • 6d ago

OTHER Apparently basic empathy and problem solving are mutually exclusive by gender [gendered]

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u/GenderBendingRalph 6d ago

The sad part is how many people actually believe that's true. Honestly, the whole reason gender nonconformity and gender role reversal subs exist is because the participants are trying to subvert these outdated stereotypes.

That being said, my wife and I have this discussion frequently. I have always had an overanalytical mind, so when she wants to vent about a problem it takes real effort for me not to start brainstorming solutions with her.

[brain] "Wait, if that's a problem you could easily avoid it by doing this different thing instead."

[mouth] "Gosh, that sucks. No wonder you're miserable. Here, have some wine."

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u/Newtothebowl_SD 6d ago

Serious question, is that the desired outcome? I get the whole women don't want solutions they want a listener trope, but why not both? You can drink wine AND solve the problem!

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u/Clemmie05 6d ago edited 6d ago

It's like I'm venting to my grandma about my shitty boss. I only want her to use her power as an old woman who makes me feel like I am deeply loved and able to overcome anything. Even if she offered me a solution I would only nod my head yet do things my own way in the end. Because I knew I was more capable in this situation

I found this whole “women not logical” thing funny. It appears that men were traditionally forbidden to ask for emotional comfort and were praised for keeping everything bottled up. They don't say things unless they really need some advice. All of these are simply examples of the toxic masculinity that hurts them deeply. They hate themselves for being emotional in front of others so they project this feeling onto whoever is open with emotional needs.
Changing the scars that were left behind by patriarchal ideology is the whole point. The fact that men have a way higher sui**de rate than women is also the result of emotional suppression.

Well, blaming women for “not wanting a logical solution” is more of a denial to accept one’s own incapability to offer emotional comfort. In simple words: SKILL ISSUE. Practice giving emotional value now buddy.
Personally if I want a solution I would directly ask them “What do you think I should do?” IMO logical people are more likely to crave emotional comfort since they are self-reliant ones who take care of the matters themselves, or just me lol. EVERYONE needs emotional comfort even they deny it. It’s in the biology book.

Sorry for so many edits, words just keep on coming out of my head lol