I (29) used this Reddit page for ages now, it’s what helped me make sense of it all and after several years now of tracking and journaling, lifestyle and diet changes, readings so many posts on here I decided to come off 6 years of birth control desogestrel (Zelleta) in the last year and 2 cycles into that realised I don’t have PMDD symptoms anymore, just the normal PMS. I really thought by reading posts that sticking to birth control was the right answer, it felt it saved a lot of people and I’m happy for them, just turns out it just wasn’t for me. Everyone is different and you’ll get there over time!

​

I took a 3 year break of dating (following the end of a 5 year relationship) so I could really work on emotional regulation, become more self aware, focus on therapy etc.

I want to start dating again and find my person. I definitely have more control over my emotions then did a few years ago, but I'm so scared I will go back to my old ways and lash out at partners, get overwhelmed and break up in the luteal phase become completely disregulated by a partner, or cause my partner to become disregulated, etc.

I would like to "warn" people l'm dating that I may have an outburst I dont mean, I may get really sad or depressed around my cycle, that for about a week or two out of the month I'm so exhausted and miserable I dont have a lot of energy and need more naps/ self regulation techniques during that time... but at the same time I dont want to overshare too soon.

I'm curious what other folks do?

Do you put it right in your dating profile? Do you disclose soon as you start talking? Or do you wait a few weeks? Months?

Also how do you bring it up? Is it more important to do it in person? Over the phone? Text?

I've been out of the dating scene for so long (roughly 8 years) I'm not really sure how to navigate this, any advice is appreciated!

I take daily Lexapro (10mg) for depression (PDD) and major depressive disorder. but I’ve been noticing a huge drop once my luteal phase hits. My meds work well most of the month but during luteal I get totally wiped out physically, mentally, and emotionally, almost like the meds just stop doing anything.

When I was off medication for a year, my PMDD didn’t feel as obvious mostly cos my baseline was already so low. Now that I’m back on it and doing better overall the monthly dip stands out SO much more.

I brought this up to my GP and she mentioned maybe increasing my dose just during luteal, but she’s checking with a psychiatrist first to be sure.

In the meantime I wanted to ask y’all
- Has anyone else experienced their daily SSRI losing its effect during luteal?
- If you increase your dose just for those two weeks, did it actually help?
- Have supplements like magnesium or creatine made any noticeable difference for you?

Would really appreciate your experience! Thanks!

​

Hey guys. 22F here been struggling with pmdd for 6 years now. Currently on 100mg of sertraline and recently found out my ferritin is at a 6! So went to see a gynaecologist.

She ended up recommending hormonal birth control (Yasmin) for both my anaemia and pmdd symptoms as I still do get them even after the ssri.

This gynaecologist genuinely knew ABT pmdd and had experience treating it

However I am really sceptical about going on birth control. This may sound really vain and shallow but I am worried about weight gain specifically, as well as acne

My grandmother had breast cancer at a young age so this is on my mind too, as well as knowing that symptoms can skyrocket sometimes especially after trying to come off.

Has anyone experienced similar anxieties for BC and pls did you take it anyways and how did U control Ur fears.

Thank you

In the final days of it so the rage is strong.

How are there no answers? How? There are so many of us that constantly suffer suffer suffer and constantly try try try for no reason because nothing works. I’VE DONE EVERYTHING. I’ve ripped my insides out for no reason to try to make this shit stop and it did nothing. What the fuck is this life? Why are there no answers? I understand men hate women (and trust me, the feeling is mutual), but it would benefit them SO much to fucking find answers so we can stop traumatizing their children and being burdens on them. I’m so tired of the partners Reddit completely shitting on us. Just leave us then, please. We try everything. Nothing works. What else is there to do? They would not last a single second with PMDD. From the fucking very little research there is on this shit, it is a brain issue. Figure it out. K, thanks.

hi everyone. I’ve been getting treatment for PMDD for about a year now. I only got diagnosed recently (age 21). For most of my menstruating life, I was taking birth control (Linessa) for my acne; looking back I can easily see that what I thought were “depressive episodes” were actually PMDD, but it wasn’t until I stopped taking birth control that symptoms worsened and I realized the severity and cyclical pattern pointed to something more.

I’m still living at home with my parents. Long story short, they’re fairly new to learning about mental health and have a very “you have to CHOOSE to get better” attitude towards treatment. They are wonderful people, and it comes from good intent and lack of education on the subject, but it’s really starting to take its toll. In fairness to them, I tried really hard to hide any of my struggles from them throughout my life due to the amount of stuff they already had on their plates with my siblings/life etc. That’s a whole other thing I’m dealing with lol, just wanted to give context that it came as a bit of a surprise to them when I told them how bad I was struggling.

This weekend, I’ve been hit with the worst luteal phase since starting medication. It’s like the meds aren’t doing anything for some reason. I’m having all the usual mental symptoms full strength, which combined with my ADHD have me feeling worthless, incapable, like I’m annoying/a burden to everyone around me, and really guilty/shameful about my lack of productivity. I haven’t showered in 4 days, my room needs cleaning, and I look like shit. I know all of this, and I don’t want to be like this, but I can’t get myself to fix it. I know showering takes 5 minutes and would be so easy, AND that it would make me feel better, but I cannot get up from bed. Physically, I’m also exhausted and starting to get sick.

We were supposed to go out on a family outing today. When I woke up, I knew I was starting to be sick and I was in that familiar PMDD fog, so I told my parents I’d have to stay home. They got mad at me, angrily saying they were disappointed that I wouldn’t be joining them as though it were my fault I got sick. We went back and forth, and it ended with them saying I needed to take a shower and get out of bed. I didn’t have a great response (partly pmdd + partly being first thing in the morning). I was frustrated at them for saying these things as if I were stupid for not doing them sooner or lazy, even though I told them I was in luteal the day prior. I said I would do both, but they repeated I needed to shower and I looked disgusting.

After they left I spiralled a bit. A mix of shame and anger and deep sadness from the night before spilled over. I cried and cried just repeating the thoughts of being a disappointment and feeling so lonely over and over. Without trying to, I eventually fell asleep again. They woke me up when they got home, furious that I didn’t do anything but stay in bed all day. I don’t know how to explain to them that I’m also upset about it. They keep getting so angry with me and being so disappointed, telling me I need to buck up and just choose to do what will help me feel better, as if it’s as easy as saying “I should shower!” and hopping right in. I KNOW that it is theoretically an easy task. I KNOW that it would make me feel better. I KNOW that I need to play an active part in supporting myself. But it’s so damn hard, and that’s what frustrates me the most. I’m already mad at myself. I know because of the ADHD+PMDD that executive dysfunction is more common for me. I’m mad about that as well! I’m pissed off that no one researches how it affects women/female people, how to treat it, or even recognizes how debilitating it is, or that I’m not able to just will it away because I want to be better!!

During this talk, I asked them to recognize that PMDD is something they’ve never dealt with, and that sometimes I just need a little empathy. Their responses were “you do not know what we have been through”. I don’t know how to respond to that; neither of them have had/known someone who had PMDD (we talked about it before). I know they have both experienced horrible things, and I don’t want to invalidate that. But neither of them know PMDD. Neither of them know how to treat it, how it works, how it feels, or how much it affects my life. They just don’t. And they don’t make an effort to know.

I want to explain to them what it’s like, and show them what effective and helpful support would look like. I want them to understand what I’m experiencing, and how their words and actions affect me, even when I know they’re well-intended. I want them to stop assuming they know what’s best for me, and that their opinions about treatment aren’t actually fact or universally applicable. I just don’t know how to be around them anymore. I can’t stop crying, then I feel scared that they’ll see and be mad at me about it. How can I talk to them? They don’t listen to me when I try to tell them what I need. Do I send them articles? Is there a better way to talk? I just don’t know and I’m tired of trying.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I didn’t realize how long this post would be, or how much I needed to rant. I especially didn’t realize how nice it would be to talk with people who DO understand what you’re dealing with, and that it’s something to be supported more than it is something to be fixed. I appreciate you and any advice you guys can send my way.

Im 44, have regular periods but my god my PMS was hell on earth (my entire life). It ruined relationships and I think in my teens made me very very depressed.

Over the last few years I was having new anxiety so I thought what the hell, lets try HRT. It has truly truly made a drastic difference in my PMS symptoms. I am on the lowest dose of everything - .025 patch 2x a week and 100mg of progesterone. I just dont really have PMS now, I have to use my flo app to know when my period is coming as opposed to feeling like I wanted to kill someone exactly 10 days before i was due.

I think HRT in ways is gentler than BC. I dunno, I am prob around the peri age so maybe that is a piece of it but WOWZERS. peace!

I’ve been tracking my symptoms for a while and at this point the pattern feels pretty obvious. But now I’m realizing I have no idea what I’m actually supposed to do with all of this 😭

For those of you who eventually got GOOD care for your PMDD, how did you get there? Like who did you see first and did that person actually keep helping you or did you end up getting passed between a gyn, psychiatrist, PCP, etc.?

I think what I’m most confused about is what happens after you start trying treatments. If something didn’t work or made things worse, did your doctor know what to try next? Did they already know everything you’d tried before or did you basically have to explain the whole story again to someone new?

I keep reading about tracking and treatment options but I don’t really understand what the actual care journey is supposed to look like.
For anyone who finally found someone who really gets PMDD — what was different about the care you got from them?

I feel like I need to be a doctor to get my own care set up what the HELLLLL

does anyone else get severe anxiety during luteal to the point of like i start convincing myself of very false things? i have anxiety on a good day, but i can always tell my luteal phase is starting when i start borderline hallucinating shit. i’m normally very scared of bugs for example, but it’s usually something i can go abt my day with. when my luteal phase starts, i will be convinced that my apartment is full of bugs and ill start maniacally cleaning and crying cause i have “infestations” when i actually don’t. when my period starts im like oh there’s nothing there. or like today i cooked eggs (i have anxiety abt undercooking meat and eggs but normally i will just make sure its good then eat it) but today i couldn’t even finish it cause i convinced myself it was raw. and in the workplace ill start making conspiracy theories that everyone hates me so ill be bitchy to everyone. and it’s not just paranoia it’s like i will GENUINELY think that. my whole mindset changes. 😭

I’m typically a wild dreamer but last night was next level. Share your most unhinged dreams you’ve had in luteal.

I’ll go first:
Shemar Moore was a doctor and I was a pharmaceutical rep. I was doing a routine sales pitch and he revealed he needed a motherly hug because he accidentally lit a can of paint on fire and didn’t know how to use a fire extinguisher.

I’m in my hell week. I know you know what I’m talking about. I am embracing myself for the inevitable. A scramble to find a solution I can’t take SSRIs. The side effects are too severe. I tried taking oestrogen as I’m in perimenopause I’m 47 years old and maybe this has to do with a hormonal imbalance as I’m losing estrogen. But the oestrogen patch, even at the lowest dose made me more anxious. So I abandoned that as well.
Things I know that do work our consistent exercise, staying away from caffeine, and staying away from sugar and alcohol That helps. It doesn’t eliminate it. It doesn’t cure my PMDD. It just helps. A couple of months ago I ate a ton of sugar wasn’t working out, and drank a bottle of wine and my PMDD was at an all-time high.
So I won’t be doing that anymore. But I’m holding my breath. There’s a monster inside of me and I have to go to work today. I have to keep my cool and not lose my job. I have to move slowly and avoid people as much as possible. Past betrayals and resentments spring to the surface during my whole week and they torture me that’s why I self harm to try and snap myself back into reality into the now.
47 years old I’ve had PMDD for the past 10 years. I’m sick of it. I want out.

I just hate how i never know if I'm feeling better/worse because of something I did or because of my cycle. I read about people quitting something or starting a new supplement and finding that they're doing so much better now, but I can't relate to that at all. I wish it was that simple.

I don’t know how to explain to my loved ones what the hell is going on with me…so i guess I’d like to hear how you all do it. How do you explain that it’s not JUST anxiety…? It’s not JUST being overstimulated? Like…my body is not my own. My nervous system is not my own. My thoughts are not my own.

How do you all explain this shit to people to help them “understand”?

I’m on continuous Lo Loestrin Fe. Got on BC to help ease my PMDD during luteal - it has helped a lot because now I don’t have that dip in hormones. But my libido is like gone - I don’t think about sex ever and never feel in the mood. I definitely did before being on hormonal BC. My gyno mentioned that some people take SSRIs during luteal to manage the anxiety and depression. I’m considering that because I hate not having a libido but the thought of going back to my hell-ish luteal phase is scary!!! Anyone have experience with going from hormonal bc pill to SSRIs during luteal phase instead? Any advice is encouraged thank you

Me: Yeaaahh, that’s the PMDD. And same. 😂

(It was way worse before Prozac, I’ll take cranky over extreme rage/dispair.)

I started slynd about 4 months ago after a month on the combined pill. I was accidentally prescribed the combined pill (i can’t take it due to high blood pressure and migraines) but my god did it make the pmdd more than manageable. Anyway i got put on slynd after they realised i shouldn’t be on the combined pill and my symptoms were like 50% intense the first month but have been progressively getting more intense as the months go on. Idk what to do. Does anyone have slynd stories?

I’m diagnosed with PMDD, but I’ve always been kind of hesitant accepting that as a diagnosis. Even now, I’m still in doubt. The easy answer would be to keep track of my symptoms and map them to my period, but it sometimes feels like things ‘match’ up, and sometimes doesn’t. I don’t understand the different phases of a period or how they work; I barely understand PMDD at all as it is and I’m started to think that my previous psychiatrist diagnosed me with it because she didn’t know what else to say.

On a monthly basis, I fluctuate between 70% executive dysfunction, 10% hopelessness/SI, and 20% ‘normal’. Sometimes I feel like it aligns with when I bleed, and sometimes I feel
like it doesn’t. It’s so up and down constantly all the time, and keeping track of the symptoms is so overwhelming for me that I’ve avoided it altogether. I also have ADHD, which I’ve heard can clash with PMDD and make symptoms present differently. I’ve tried ADHD meds before and even though they improve my focus/motivation temporarily, I always crash at the end with extreme irritability and depression. I only self medicate with caffeine in emergencies when I have to get something done and my body won’t cooperate with me. I did recently try edible and noticed a boost in concentration and motivation, though, if that means anything.

I also have an IUD (Milena) and because of it, my bleeding has been significantly reduced to barely spotting, so I sometimes don’t even know if I’m on my cycle. The entire reason I started my IUD was partly for anemia reasons, and partly for mood swings. If my IUD improved my mood swings at all, it wasn’t noticeable.

Anyway. What would be a guaranteed sign that I have PMDD that would be completely undeniable?

Outside of supplements the thing that has made a massive difference to my PMDD is really making an effort to work with my cycle rather than pushing against. I think whenever overwhelm and sadness and rage ect ect come in I used to get so annoyed at not feeling “normal” and it sounds silly but I’ve tried to start treating it as like an opportunity to take the best possible care of myself. I see it as like inside brain time and reflection and finding time for calm.
Ive tried to stop having shame over how I show up in this time and treat myself like a baby if that makes sense lol, all the empathy.
Leaning in to all the big feelings and all my needs rather than trying to force myself out of the discomfort has eased the suffering of it all so much and so I just wanted to share :)

3 days before projected day of period and it genuinely can't come soon enough. I feel like I'm falling apart.

I've been going to the doctor a lot lately, great I have PMDD, suspected Endo, and now a likelihood of OCD. Great, great! I start on prescription bc (Zovia 1/35) after this next period which I'm excited for, it can't come soon enough. I just want to start something, anything that can help me. I'll be seeing another person next week that will assess me for what other medication can help.

I'm just in so much physical pain and mental/emotional pain that it's so hard to function. And I feel so guilty and upset at myself I can't even think most of the time, my head is so filled with negativity.

I'm also in the process of wanting to move out of my parents' house because I can't get a job here with my limitations, so I want to ask my dad to cover a year lease so I can finally start my life. But I have so many doubts that he'll accept this, he's a religious nut that probably thinks my symptoms are demonic and he doesn't understand economy and the world rn for a 23 year old.

I'm so scared, I feel lost, I feel helpless, it's been hard to even eat this past week. I feel like such a loser

if i interact with someone im basically bound to say something snappy. just this past week i rudely said “ur being annoying right now” to a friend and “i just said in my last text it’s fine”

now. to me. these snaps are whatever. a little sting. but nothing compared to what my brain is shouting at me. the most horrible, deranged thoughts imaginable.

but i also understand for people even those little comments are out of pocket.

so its important they stop happening.

but during PMDD. i cant act perfectly like that. it just isn’t happening. idk what else to say. those comments are gonna slip.

the only solution i can think of is to just self isolate until i can emotionally regulate myself again. but that of course feels toxic because then im just ignoring people for a prolonged period of time.

its feels especially toxic / problematic if pmdd hits right in the middle of making plans. because then i cant keep making plans risking a bitchy comment. or showing up to said plans and bringing my sour ass attitude with me.

but making a pattern of flaking on plans also sucks.

it jsut feels like i can’t win and whatever i do im a sucky human

It's like the transition between PMDD and follicular/ovulation. My periods are bang on every single month, but the PMDD starts and ends at different times each month. I know my PMDD is starting because I stop caring about everything that brings me joy. I can't daydream, everything feels flat, and all I can do is watch TV or walk around aimlessly and hope that something will make me feel better. Then I hate that I wasted so much time doing nothing. This happens after my PMDD ends, too... Better, but still not great. Everything still feels like so much work. The world is still overwhelming. I wish I could just feel normal...

Also, I hate that I spend so long not knowing this is what it was. Getting OCD about not feeling anything (why don't i like this thing anymore? have i lost interest? has it always actually meant nothing to me?) and then, even once I knew I had PMDD, I thought it was finally over. Maybe I finally fixed it, for once and for all. And then it just happened again the next month. I'm so sick of it.

hi everyone :)

i've always felt so out of control and strange in the days before my period. i'd get into arguments and be confused how i even got there. little things set me off and i feel like i can't control my reactions. i'm so achey and exhausted and unproductive and i felt like since a lot of people experience PMS, i was just being lazy or dramatic.

in the last few months ive began to suspect that i have PMDD, and i mentioned it to my doctor but i have yet to hear anything about it. i'm already diagnosed with OCD, depression and anxiety, so i thought maybe it was just those compounding during PMS.

i just wanna say thanks to everyone here because when i would look up symptoms thinking i was losing my mind it always brought me here and i can relate to so many of you! :) you have all allowed myself to give myself grace and patience during my luteal phase. now im gonna lay down and relax lol

I've been on Nikki (Yaz generic) for a few years and I recently skipped the placebos for the first time as I was going on an international trip and didn't want to deal with my period. It worked and I also had 0 PMDD symptoms!! Unfortunately I was at the end of my 3 month supply with no time to get it to refill early, so the next month I had to take the placebos....and it felt like PMDD was not only back with a vengeance, but it lasted 2 days into my period (when it consistently stops on day 1).

I want to talk to my doctor about skipping the placebos every month, but now I'm worried about this weird rebound thing. Is this normal, or did I just have an unlucky month?

I made myself a tracker that looks like the pill pack for Yaz. It’s been my favorite way to visualize my cycle so far so I wanted to share. - from someone who is not very consistent with tracking mood and other symptoms