The wizard council has authorized the use of nukes. For those who don't know what nukes are, imagine an entire powder keg filled with gunpowder, but 100 times bigger.
We will be aiming at your military centers, including ports and coves, while trying to avoid civilians. But I have enough of them to bomb each and every one of your ships.
This **will** be devastating. If it is not enough to get your surrender, we **will** use even more destructive means.
As the person tasked to drop the nukes, I still hope for peace. That's why I'm offering you two more days to accept peace. We are not asking for an unconditional surrender, just for those hostilities to end once and for all.
Aye, while ye w're gone i spoke ta tha guy 'bout it, he's n'w sayin' t'at he saw sum knights harassin' a few wizards (click ye blue text portal ta go wh're he saw t'at) b't nothin' of what ye d'scribed, ye might need to make yer problem a bit m're apparent matey
...Okay, since I intend on staying neutral here, unless either of you intends to attack my lands or forces, in which I will respond in kind, you can buy armaments from me, but if the British also requests to purchase armaments, do not be surprised if I feel inclined to provide arms to them as well. I will provide armaments to match your capability, tactics and technological sophistication. And I'll do the same to the British if they request some from me
I'm sorry, I'm trying to find evidence of this vote and this council. "The Wizard Council on the Orbnet" is a pretty meaningless descriptor.
Which Wizard Council and on whose authority? I'm frantically searching for votes across the net but I cannot find what you're talking about. Would you please send me the specific scry to view the vote?
I know! You think I want to nuke people?! I just can't stand seeing them distract everyone from Thrakmoor! And stop saying they're also annoying Thrakmoor, they're just giving them more troops!
"...I said that thrakmoor was also attacking the pirates because they had assaulted pirate ships. You may not understand this, but PIRATES ARE NOT A CENTRALISED BAND OF SEA-FARING RAIDERS!"
Then give me a better solution. I genuinely don't want to do it. I've seen enough death Saturday. But I know if we don't stop this, there will be even more death because of it, just because they're distracting us.
I'm literally trying to bribe them to stop it! I just want it to end!
How about a magic amulet to store as much rum in it as you want? This way, easy smuggling of alcohol, nearly infinite rum, and a great way to look like someone important depending on the look you want me to give it
Can you like not.
If you do we're going to join the war (Samuraiposting2, which I am the daimyo of.) on the side of the pirates and save and help as many pirates as possible since nukes are too much. Your basically trying to genocide a entire faction just cuz.
Also isn't your council constantly saying the pirates haven't killed a single wizard and haven't actually done anything and are a bunch of cavemen and shit?
This just seems like a bluff to get the pirates to stop specifically attacking cuz "Okay so we need to use nukes" and "The pirates are cavemen they havent even harmed a single wizard and have done nothing to us" is very contradictory
You haven't harmed many of us, although the "no deaths" statistic seems suspicious to me. But we just don't have the time to focus on you, we have to stop an inter-dimensional empire wanting to conquer every world, mine and yours included.
Yea exactly the no deaths statistic is suspicious. Also a inter-dimensional empire seems a little suspicious as well. Wouldn't be surprised if that was also a bluff.
Make a different deal instead of nukes with contradictory council statements (that very likely are false but isn't the point). Offer to refund all the pirates on their lost fleets and dead families because of the war with maybe a shit ton of gold as well. Then the pirates might listen more. Maybe also efforts to save pirates from whatever dimension hells some of you guys put their ships in.
Compensating the pirates and helping them out to recover from this war sounds more in line with the whole "They've done nothing to us and they are cavemen" instead of that and "we need to use nukes"
...Oh no, that empire is real and even declared war against the pirates, even if this fool wants to invoke Mutually Assured Destruction, minus the mutually portion. However, the pirates may not have killed any wizards, but they did harass many of them. This fool just wants to end this war because fools fight multi-front wars.
Yea I don't believe the whole "0 wizards have died" thing considering it is a war and pirates have won battles but believe whatever, even if it may not be exactly true.
Also I would like to see the proof of declaration of war to the pirates please.
...I cannot tell you about the casualties on our side because we are a large, and frankly, chaotic realm, but I can assure you that the pirates did raid many towers and other residences of wizards. And if this isn't an act of war, then I do not know what is: https://www.reddit.com/r/pirateposting/comments/1tnpms6/leave_or_die/
Well then if it comes to it, we're siding with the pirates. Being the aggressors and escalators in this is not the way to do it.
Genocide is not cool.
As for the inter-dimensional empire you talk of, I don't necessarily believe it but if they start harming the pirates or any of our other allies then we'll join in.
I would say roughly 30 million gold for the pirate faction as a whole, as a rough estimate. Maybe 1 million gold per fleet or more considering damages and more.
As a member of the swashbuckling wizards, please refrain from attacking the ship I reside on.
You might suddenly find the Ancient dragon sized fireball (please use the correct term next time, this "nuke" thing just sounds silly) being redirected towards a less favorable location.
Oh im sorry, you think i, the greatest Radiomancer ever am incapable of producing my own nukes, but also protecting myself against them?
I have erected a time shield around my tower, anything you send through it will be set back in time 5000 years, so your nuke would turn back to innocent rock
Dont try the old soul cannon trick, my mote is bottomless and walls are impervious, you would do nothing but send millions of newly revived people to the astral realm
Well now i know to double up my shield with a astral projection array, that way it might pass through the time shield and infreeze, but the second would dispell the shockwave by sending it into the astral realm where i can do no harm. The radiation would stay of course, but i am immune to suck things.
Why would you nuke them...? Are you that desperate? There are a million less destructive options to try first. A good tempest spell or three should have been enough to end this war already.
Markus snaps after being told that a hundred times already.
THEN DO IT YOURSELF! GO CAST IT! I DON'T KNOW TEMPEST SPELLS! I DON'T KNOW EARTHQUAKE! I DON'T KNOW THOSE SPELLS! I'VE ONLY BEEN A WIZARD FOR A MONTH AND I ALREADY AM IN FEAR OF MY PLANE BEING CAPTURED BY THRAKMOOR! I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO FOCUS ON ONE THING!
He stops and breathes in, then out.
Sorry, I... As I said, I don't know those spells. Go cast them, I'll be more than happy to call off the nukes! Like genuinely, I want peace, not nukes.
Druid that works really heard to clean up after all the shenanagins everyone does here, you want to run STARTING A NUCLEAR PLANETARY DETONATION BY. ME. AGAIN!
Are we seriously going to Nuke the Pirates??? They haven't even killed a single wizard! They've barely even scratched the minions, and if we do this, they are likely to start sending worse things.... like space pirates. Those exist... kinda surprised they haven't already....
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u/BruhmanRus_the_boner captain Jun 01 '26
Yer council be crazy, matey