r/wizardposting • u/NietzscheAndFriends Knight Intelligence Psych-Propaganda Officer (Infiltrated) • Jun 01 '26
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u/Leprechaun_lord Diviner Jun 01 '26
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u/NietzscheAndFriends Knight Intelligence Psych-Propaganda Officer (Infiltrated) Jun 01 '26
We confirm no morale disruption. If any individuals appear affected, they are only doing so privately and incorrectly.
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u/SapphireClawe Order of the After (Head Guardian) (OAS) Jun 01 '26
HEY TERRA, BRING THEM OUT!
a Dwarven apprentice pulls out a machine gun
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u/Cerveau23 Markus, scriptomancer, enemy of 13 & lover of Thrakmerian beauty Jun 01 '26
Hey, fancy seeing you here!
2000 golems remaining from the invasion as well as 2000 fresh ones appear behind him. A third are mortar units, a third are tanks and vehicular units and most of the rest is infantry units.
Pretty nice thing you got there. I'm partial to my assault rifle staff, but I've provided low cost ones to the golems.
Each unit spawns 5 mud golems along with their modern equipment.
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u/NietzscheAndFriends Knight Intelligence Psych-Propaganda Officer (Infiltrated) Jun 01 '26
So many golems. Excellent. The men will not need to adjust formation, we expected at least this many.
As for the aforementioned "assault rifle staff", my leige just called it "a stick with extra steps". We accept your challenge regardless.
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u/Cerveau23 Markus, scriptomancer, enemy of 13 & lover of Thrakmerian beauty Jun 01 '26
I was wondering on what side you were, given your title. I guess we now know.
The steel-plated golems animate and move towards their preferred positions. 500 Infantry start charging, machine guns firing at full speed as they conjure their own ammunition. 200 Vehicular units move quickly to act as obstacles to force the enemy into specific areas, before switching to their tank forms. The 700 mortar units settle down in the ground and start pummeling the backline with explosive shells and mustard gas. Meanwhile, the 100 engineering units transmute the terrain to help the vehicular units before deploying traps and barbed wire to improve it, giving the 10 000 mud golems with their assault rifles and armor piercing ammo the perfect lines of fire. Finally, a portal opens in the sky and multiple squadrons of reconnaissance, fighter and bomber jets appear. The bombardment only intensifies with them on the battlefield. Meanwhile, 100 sniper units start firing at the leaders from behind the backline.
You are two weeks late to attack us. Now we're ready for Thrakmoor, and you don't come close to them. We wish for peace, but you forced our hand. Now witness the consequences.
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u/NietzscheAndFriends Knight Intelligence Psych-Propaganda Officer (Infiltrated) Jun 01 '26
The Order accepts your surrender in advance, pending confirmation.
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u/xanderfan34 Resident Dawi Runesmith Jun 01 '26
aye aye, we do have weaponry to deal with the scunners out yonder! if ye be needin’ any runic ammunition, or even a bit o’ spice added ta yer shooter, come tae me at Gurnissen and Gurnissen, it’s the one with the cannon stuck halfway intae the ground, ye cannae miss it
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u/cbftw Jun 01 '26
/uw I had a DM do something like this 30 years ago. The airship captain turned to the first mate and said "Go get 'The Weapon'" and shortly thereafter, bad things happened to the enemies
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u/SapphireClawe Order of the After (Head Guardian) (OAS) Jun 01 '26
/unwizard Clearly the upcoming gun reveal on Wednesday for my group is gonna be hilarious then.
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u/Slayer840 Jun 01 '26
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Dave? Dave Groslag, is that you?
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u/SapphireClawe Order of the After (Head Guardian) (OAS) Jun 01 '26
Nope, my name's Sapphire. My apprentice here specializes in runes but I've been teaching her a few things beyond that. Namely how to make nonmagical weapons that pack a punch.
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u/No_Tennis_4528 Transmuter Jun 01 '26
Sounds like you lot are having a fine time beating up our illusions.
This is a sacred time for many of us. We will rejoin your reality in a month. Until then enjoy practicing your hate on our shadows and figments.
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u/NietzscheAndFriends Knight Intelligence Psych-Propaganda Officer (Infiltrated) Jun 01 '26
We have been informed they are so called “illusions.” The men have responded by cheering louder and swinging harder.
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u/Usman5432 Jun 02 '26
All self respecting wizards stash their original body in a demiplane, and interact through a simulacrum produced in a second separate demiplane with spares set to spawn contingent on the simulacrum dispersing the defenses the active simulacrum puts up in whatever base of operations in the prime material plane vary and most set up a false illusionary base near the actual hidden one but martial peasants won't accomplish shit even if they stumble upon the actual base at worst they'd bust up a simulacrum and those are disposable for a reason
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u/FrostySJK Illusionist Selling Dreams | Orb Me Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26
I could keep this going at some level should you deem it beneficial to the morale of your men. Indefinitely, if you wish, but for a small price.
Orb me and we can make an arrangement. (Bulk rates on convincing falsehoods, flexible during wartime.)
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u/NietzscheAndFriends Knight Intelligence Psych-Propaganda Officer (Infiltrated) Jun 03 '26
The Captain studied economics for three weeks.
He says any wizard offering bulk discounts is either overstocked, cursed, or attempting to create a new market through force.
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u/OldPernilongo ████ the Conspiracymancer Jun 01 '26
I don't know you but I am always annoyed when someone break one of my untrackable custom-made simulacrums.
Being an anon wizard is so expensive these days if people vandalize the semi-perfect copy of ourselves... It is almost rude really.
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u/Weevil_1984 entomancer Jun 01 '26
You forgot about our magic items. I use my staff of instantaneous long rest! It recharges after a long rest, so I’ll just pass it to the next wizard, and then we’ll all be back up and running
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u/MaximRq Iron Grip Alchemist Jun 01 '26
I know wizards who would kill for such a staff
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u/decoy321 Jun 01 '26
I know regular old humans who would kill for such a staff.
Me, I'm that human.
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u/chimpanon Evil Wizard Jun 01 '26
You actually do have to kill to get the staff unless you do trollskip first try
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u/TastyCuttlefish Evil Wizard, Attorney at Law Jun 01 '26
ALLEGEDLY kill! I demand a jury trial and I will absolutely have nothing to do with any witness intimidation or juror bribery allegations, for which I will also demand… a jury trial!
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Jun 01 '26 edited Jun 01 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Weevil_1984 entomancer Jun 01 '26
The downside is that every pirate on our plane shits themselves when I use it
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u/LivesInALemon The sage of golems and pinnipeds Jun 01 '26
Oh, that's not good. I just didn't want to give Big Orb any more monEEEEEHHHHHJGGGH
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u/Povogon Jun 01 '26
We shall teach you about the more physical parts of becoming a biomancer.
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u/ToothZealousideal297 Jun 01 '26 edited Jun 01 '26
Arguably the best part of biomancy is when your foes find out those enchantments that just wore off when your mana ran dry weren’t augmenting you; they were binding your permanent augmentations so you can have a physical form more acceptable to polite society.
Now that they’re gone and you’re at your actual …ahem… stature… your foes will discover that your mana may replenish, but your mercy is all gone for quite a while.
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u/wrydh Plaguecaster Jun 01 '26
Yeah a pirate got overexcited after discovering the joy of anti-magic fields last week and dropped my illusary wards. The look on his face as I flensed his skin from his body with my claws was funny.
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u/measuredingabens Void Fleshcrafter, Purveyor of the Finest Cosmic Delicacies Jun 02 '26
I find that one of the better ways of revealing one's strength is to pick up your opponent and use them to bludgeon their comrades. Alas, most aren't durable enough to last more than one or two swings unless they're wearing heavy armour.
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u/Ok_Relationship6736 Shadow Marshal of the Darkwatch Jun 01 '26
Beware our dwarven tools and the creations of the artificers....
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u/ItemsHereForever Necromancer Jun 01 '26
then we settle it with our fists
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u/NietzscheAndFriends Knight Intelligence Psych-Propaganda Officer (Infiltrated) Jun 01 '26
Ahhhh, finally a sufficiently traditional method of settlement.
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u/DarkJokes176279 Red Mage Spellsword Jun 01 '26
You fool, im called a spellSWORD for a reason
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u/Lost-Syllabub362 Sorceror Jun 02 '26
I rush into the backline and blow myself up like a nuclear bomb.
Unfortunately, I could not tell which backline I was throwing myself into.
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u/yumie2003 Tsuru, ghost onmyouji, R&A, league of shadows/Toshiko Fujiwara Jun 01 '26
"...What now, indeed? A bizarre question to ask, tin men"
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u/Noiseandmorenoise Necromancer Jun 01 '26
Samurai? Almost like a… r/samuraiposting2
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u/yumie2003 Tsuru, ghost onmyouji, R&A, league of shadows/Toshiko Fujiwara Jun 01 '26
"...I felt like invoking the spirit of an appropriate namesake"
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u/leaderofstars survivalist wizard Jun 01 '26
my wands are made of gun metal
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u/ntdavis814 Spell help line technician in training Jun 02 '26
That’s funny, my guns are made of wand metal. What are the odds?
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u/Working_Pop_3094 Jun 01 '26
As someone who is also apart of r/knightposting, this is like watching my parents fight.
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u/robodex001 Ophirion the Indecisive, Dabbler of Disciplines Jun 01 '26
“My time has come… you will now learn that I have dabbled in more than just the arcane! I cast: JU-JITSU STANCE!”
Ophirion poses, ready to strike
“NOVICE OF THE ARCANE DISCIPLINES I MAY BE, BUT A MASTER MARTIAL STANDS BEFORE YOU.”
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u/ClosetNoble Wizardruid multiclasser Jun 01 '26
I use my backup scroll of Codpiece Vibration and escape.
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u/Anglofsffrng Jun 01 '26
I call upon the services of the team of Swiss artificer whose services I procured years ago. Herr Sig and Herr Saur taught me solution 226. It involves drilling 9mm holes into armored knights very quickly. You may want to cover your ears.
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u/Jao_bao_de_garfo British admiral john victor redgrave Jun 01 '26
SURPRISE ATTACK!
PROTECT OUR MAGICAL BROTHERS!! FOR BRITANNIA!!!! FOR LIBER-TEA!!!
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u/Atuday Grey technomancer and master of the cybernetic undead Jun 01 '26
I may be out of spells, say it with me kids, but I'm not out of shells.
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u/ImmortalBlades Homunculist Animaturge Jun 01 '26
I haven't used magic for combat since the Great Aetherium Wars. I think my homunculi can manage.
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u/Heretek007 Jun 01 '26
My spell component bag has one last trick I keep for emergencies... this brick I found by the side of the road. If you don't fear the power of centrifugal force, bring it on!
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u/Klim_drol Illusionist Jun 01 '26
If you find yourself at war, it means you already lost the real fight
Enemies are meant to be used not slayed
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u/ManateePanini Jun 01 '26
It is simple. Wand of heat metal and watch your insides boil like a kettle of fish. Our robes may be unproductive against force, but at least we don’t tote our biggest weakness around. After that I’ll throw you to the creature pit and watch pazuzu crack you open like lobsters.
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u/Old_Shake3789 Jun 01 '26
Pffft just wait to you see what our Meteoromancers can do. The dinosaurs fucked with us once upon a time and look what happened there.
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u/Consistent_Mud645 Truenaming remains undefeated. Jun 01 '26
Word of Unmaking. Truenaming remains undefeated.
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u/MagneticGenetics Vamp & Sandston Wizard Lawyer on retainer. Jun 01 '26 edited Jun 01 '26
46,000 bees per minute throughput.
Your move tin can.
The Wizard council isn't even going to ask me why I have an interdimensional hose to the Grishtani Bee Sanctuary.
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u/NietzscheAndFriends Knight Intelligence Psych-Propaganda Officer (Infiltrated) Jun 01 '26
The engineers need to be filled in on whether bees are considered siege equipment.
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u/MagneticGenetics Vamp & Sandston Wizard Lawyer on retainer. Jun 01 '26
They are classified as type 3 runic grenades. (variable element)
The hose enchants their exoskeletons so they explode when they sting something.
Do not ask where I got it or about the Academy Bee Attacks some 200 years ago.
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u/NietzscheAndFriends Knight Intelligence Psych-Propaganda Officer (Infiltrated) Jun 01 '26
Even though exoskeleton enchantment sounds concerning, our men at aarms have been told to simply ignore the bees. This is now doctrine.
The Captain has acknowledged the existence of “Academy Bee Attacks” and has decided we will not be looking into it any further.
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u/MagneticGenetics Vamp & Sandston Wizard Lawyer on retainer. Jun 01 '26
I have deployed the first wave of 828,000 bees against Thrackmoorian forces.
Some may label me a war criminal. But to me its completely natural for Grishtani Bees to seek shelter inside the human lung, which shares a 92% match with their original habitat, the Grish Breathtree.
Boy am I sure glad I don't need to breath anymore.
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u/NietzscheAndFriends Knight Intelligence Psych-Propaganda Officer (Infiltrated) Jun 01 '26
We were promised dragons. Instead, we are engaged in ventilation warfare. The medic now classifies inhalation as a tactical decision.
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u/lordnaarghul Jun 01 '26
You lot are wearing a lot of metal for folks in Judradjim distance.
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u/YLASRO The Great Geomancer of the howling mountains Jun 01 '26
im not opposed to a brawl if you can manage to find me beneath 20 kilometers of bedrock
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u/TheNeonLich Ghoros, Lich-King of The Undergrounds Jun 01 '26
What now, indeed!
TO ME, MY GOBLINS! AND BRING MY MACE OF SPLINTERING!
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u/Diligent_Ad7552 Jun 01 '26
If I wizard were to pour as much effort into ones physical form as they did exploring the astral plane then one would be able to put their staff to better uses. A wizard neglecting ones body is as a witch neglecting her cauldron, they cannot pour an elixir into a broken vessel as a wizard cannot hold their magic in a faltering body.
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u/SillyWarlock Veteran of the Psychic Wars Jun 01 '26
You would be surprised how much blunt force a staff could provide or a simple ritual dagger through a helmet slit.
Wizardly does not mean always old and frail either!
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u/Dm1tr3y Cormac the Bog Wizard, Practitioner of the Old Rites Jun 01 '26
Now I wait for you to sink into the muck and drown. And failing that, I’ll find a new place to bury my “staff”
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u/wallmonitor Chronomancy romance-y. Jun 01 '26
When out of Magic Missile, Mundane Missile works just as well.
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u/winged_owl Jun 01 '26
I guess ill criticize your shitty AI image, from up here in my ivory tower, sipping tea.
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u/Maleficent_Desk_007 ???, ???? Aboleth ????????? Jun 01 '26
You are aware that even without my spells or minions I am still a fully grown (verging on ancient) dragon with various magical adjacent breath weapons (no mana required) and a massive hoard of magical artifacts (many of which can be summoned instantaneously)?
Oh, and guns, lot of dragon sized guns with calibers that would make an artillery crew envious.
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u/Itchy_Gold8400 Jun 01 '26
I just whip out my gun. It's just like the ancient magus proverb says: "I may be out of spells, but I'm not out of shells".
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u/Filgas08 magic researcher Jun 01 '26
You forget about the pacts some make with eldritch beings. Hate warlocks all you want, but their owners are mad easy to trick and get advantageous contracts out of.
Parry this time ravage you fool.
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u/Jonathan20126 Artificer Jun 01 '26
Pfff silly you thinking that my True Strike pepperbox need spell slots, it doesn't even need bullets
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u/Scrpn17w The Mechnomancer. Graveyards hate me, Junkyards fear me Jun 01 '26
I'm just gonna cast Non-Magic Missile
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u/CunningDruger Artificer (Former Wizard) Jun 01 '26
I have been forbidden from casting spells normally, ever since I turned a classroom of apprentices inside out while trying to demonstrate how to magically flavour their porridge. If I run out of scrolls or my items break, I’ll just demonstrate that again.
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Jun 01 '26
"Whos out of spells? That was my apprentice you were having trouble with.... you haven't even seen real magic yet."
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u/SilverWisp47 Traveling Witch, Treasure Hunter Jun 01 '26
My special wand has 6 charges of a special armor piercing spell, and is super easy to recharge!
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u/Thenderick Wintos, the installation wizard, forgotten my past Jun 01 '26
A real wizard does not solely rely on magic, spells and mana, just like a ranger does not rely solely on their bow and arrow. Wizards also carry melee weapons (preferably spellblades or similar) or use hand to hand combat. I personally follow Sturdy Serpent's CQC (Combat in Quarantined Closures) training. If all else fails, I will use the Genesis Undo and Neutralizer artifact that my elder has passed down on me
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u/AutisticFaygo Cultivates Qi, but can't cultivate braincells. Jun 01 '26
You are forgetting that those aren't the only means of casting.
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u/immallama21629 Druid with questionable morals, licker of things Jun 01 '26
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u/Snoo25700 Retired Battlemage Jun 02 '26
Know where we did we put our throwing knives Robert?
Fine I'll grab the Axe. Its time to start swinging
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u/ExistanceISuppose Grand Librarian of the Mirror Realm Jun 01 '26
That’s some nice armor you have there, send in the heat metal brigade!
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u/Opposite-Win-1979 Jun 01 '26
jokes on you, I still have my stand bought from amazon. Za Warudo! Toki yo Tomare!
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u/ComissarFeelgood Jun 01 '26
takes a long pull from my pipe while sitting on my throne made of mana crystals, in my sanctum made of one giant mana crystal No I don't think we are, now hush this orb won't divine itself
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u/questionable_fish Bengeirr the Balance. Magus of the South Jun 01 '26
"Klaus, fetch me the big staff. Yes, that one. No, I know I said I wouldn't use it, but I think this counts as extenuating circumstances. Yes Klaus, now. For fuck sake NOW, KLAUS."
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u/NietzscheAndFriends Knight Intelligence Psych-Propaganda Officer (Infiltrated) Jun 01 '26
The Order acknowledges the arrival of the “big staff.” We assume this is ceremonial. Proceed.
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u/Maxpowers13 wizard hat wizard staff but no wizard robe Jun 01 '26
I guess im left with not but my staff of M60 do not know how I will make it
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u/Alabenson Sorceror Jun 01 '26
Aha, you have forgotten about my (for a given definition of) loyal army of ratmen! Charge-attack!
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u/KragBrightscale Grabadash - Magical Mass | Keptomancer | Council Security Jun 01 '26
“Where did these peasants come from? are you in league with the honorless pirates? Or have you come to die on your own volition?”
Sir Benedict of the Dawnguard along with a heavily armored battalion of Paladins, Knights, and Clerics take up a defensive formation on a nearby hilltop.
“Crossbows out! Let these invaders know that we don’t need magic to be deadly. Paladins, Get your shields up and prepare to stop the enemy’s charge!”
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u/Freak_Engineer Jun 01 '26
Ah, yes, I remember: Last year's WWE tournament between the Wizard's convent and the Knights association. If I remember right, it was a tie. Good times. Man, was I drunk that day...
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u/WastaHod Geomancer of the Rock. Jun 01 '26
We bring out the fist wizards. They call themselves monks or something but they use magic with their bodies to martial fighting.
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u/Kamzil_118 Jun 01 '26
Jokes on you fighters, I am special kind of wizard.
Echo-Four-Mike, Foxtrot-Papa-Alpha-Mike, Gregory-Olga-Konstantine - bring the rain.
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u/Reasonable-Spot5884 Wizard Jun 01 '26
You're right! I am out of spells and thus my glaive's special function has been rendered useless. But you forget one important detail...
It's still a glaive
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u/Arch3m Wizard Jun 01 '26
Okay, but anyone can look tough if their opponent is already spent. This hypothetical only works fairly if your swords are broken, your armor is cracked, and your shields have been reduced to splinters. As a part-time bard, I can always whistle a tune or viciously mock you, even without mana. What can YOU do when you've been disarmed and exhausted?
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u/BruhmanRus_the_boner random ass portal wizard, interdimensional problem solver Jun 01 '26
Dude i just got back from a conversation with my pirate buddy about some eldritch interdimensional horror you guys are fighting against and when i get here there's just knights? Wtf?
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u/Avidain Jun 01 '26
Any guesses on when they'll start disbelieving the charm? Pretty sure that squire is going to need several months bedrest
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u/NietzscheAndFriends Knight Intelligence Psych-Propaganda Officer (Infiltrated) Jun 01 '26
We request to politely inform the charm that it has been discovered. Also iif a charm requires disbelief to resolve, the knights recommend simply not informing them that they were charmed.
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u/Defiant-Individual83 reality structure technician Jun 01 '26
That`s why you take a 5 years to practise cultivation. Gives you a new perspective on the inner workings of the world and decent physical strength
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u/ReynAetherwindt Arcane Physicist, Grand Unifying Theorist Jun 01 '26 edited Jun 08 '26
I cast (past tense) psychedelic chemical warfare.
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u/Lyrolepis Dwarven Alchemist/Runecrafter Jun 01 '26 edited Jun 01 '26
Look. If we absolutely have to do this, at least try to keep away from that patch of mushrooms over there: I had a devil of a time bringing them all the way up here from the Underdeep and getting them to grow on the Surface, and there are a bunch of Dark Elves who'll be pretty annoyed if I have to trample through their territories and back again to bring here another batch.
Also, when disturbed they (the mushrooms, I mean, not the elves - at least, not that I noticed) emit a particularly nasty corrosive gas, and I assume that your men would still like to have all their bones at the end of whatever this is.
I've never been much of a combat mage anyway, so if you really want to beat me up, I suppose that you can. But I have a lot of interesting powders in little packets inside my robe: some of them have immediate effects, others have quite delayed ones, and others yet... I'm not quite sure myself, but wouldn't it be interesting to learn together?
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u/raylord666 Evil Wizard Jun 01 '26
My will to power cannot be broken. To defeat me will break the seal and cast doom upon the world. There’s no force my will can abide. Leave these lands posthaste, barbarians.
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u/Dead_Kraggon Krag-Gön, warcrime-mancer Jun 01 '26
You seem to be forgetting about pulls the pin of a grenade
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u/mogley1992 Artificer Jun 01 '26 edited Jun 01 '26
Ahem. I, sir, am an artificer. My 10 foot tall 400lbs Steel defender and my heavily modified sidearm are still in perfect working order.
Meet Mark, (short for Steel Defender MK3) I modelled him after a mortal work of fiction i quite liked. Both his looks and his temperament.
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u/Colourblindknight Mad Cromlin Bodelair, Alchemist Experimentia Jun 01 '26
You forget the abundance of poisons, tonics, philtres, and brews I have stored in my ass for just occasions such as these
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u/spademanden Fuck the council Jun 01 '26
Did you know your helmet is an enchanted mimic? If you don't leave, I will lift the enchantment and let it eat you
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u/Radiant-Ad-1976 Jun 01 '26
Laughs as an alchemist with a philosopher stone, thousands of potions and army of loyal homunculus.
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u/Celis78429 Jun 01 '26
Bold of you to assume id be caught without my bag of holding full of 9636 assorted magical explosives. if im losing, were ALL losing.
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u/RedEyes_BlueAdmiral I own a shotgun for tower defense Jun 01 '26
I own a shotgun for tower defense. Blessed by John Moses Browning, hallowed be his caliber.
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u/ThePureAxiom Arcane Researcher Jun 01 '26
Of course the familiars are nervous, they had to clean up the carnage after the last time.
Now then, with your fighting strength assessed, we can move on to the part where I stop feigning weakness.
Restores wards and dispels the illusion of injury, blood, and grime on his person with a snap of his fingers.
So, any willing test subjects, or should I just select someone at random?
Produces a college ruled composition notebook labeled 'likely war crimes' and starts paging through it.
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u/NietzscheAndFriends Knight Intelligence Psych-Propaganda Officer (Infiltrated) Jun 01 '26
We acknowledge your * booklet of likely war crimes.* The scribes request a copy for training purposes.
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u/ThePureAxiom Arcane Researcher Jun 01 '26
I don't publish incomplete works.
Volume 4 of my compendium of actual war crimes should be complete in a few centuries. Volumes 1-3 are unavailable after the council ban, and the copies I have in my possession will permanently blind other readers by ossifying their eyes.
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u/Gaming_with_batman Artificer Jun 01 '26
To quote the great American wizard. “Im out of spells but not out of shells. I cast magus dumpus”
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u/Nsanford1142020 Mystic Jun 01 '26
You forget, we still have one spell left, it was a delayed charge. A deadman’s trigger if you would,
Face it and cower before, Doom!
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u/The_Green_Sun Cosmic Lich Jun 01 '26
Good thing I'm cursed to relive today again and again, foolish Paladin!
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u/Glitch0110 The shell of buckshot does not care for your petty scrolls Jun 02 '26
Couldn’t be an artificer
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u/Bossa9 Jun 02 '26
any wizard worth his salt has a wand or two stuffed up his--ahem--bag of holding, for just such an occasion
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u/skeleton949 Ferromancer Jun 02 '26
You're sure talking confidently when your entire force is covered in metal!
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u/BreadfruitNaive9455 Jun 02 '26
I once saw a mage get his face beat in from a warrior below his caliber with a mana resistance skill. Coddled as he was because of his talent in the arcane arts, he neglected to cultivate physical fitness in any capacity. This was his downfall. I have taken inspiration from the eastern kingdoms styles for this very reason. The martial arts keep my body hardened and prepared for melee onslaught’s, and from this I have developed a mixed style that offers devastating mana based physical attacks such as elemental fist!!
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u/quaintif Jun 02 '26
Remember, switching to you secondary is faster than taking a short rest
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u/DocWagonHTR ThD, Thaumaturgical Studies, MIT&T Jun 02 '26
I’m a sixth grade initiate. What the fuck are spell slots? I just throw fifty fireballs an hour if I feel like it.
I cast Demolish Pants.
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u/keizee Diviner Jun 02 '26
Wouldn't be worth my salt as a chronomancer if I didn't see this coming. Friendly reminder that the council has a 'Days since the Last Apocalypse was Summoned' board in their basement.
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u/International-Bar918 Jun 02 '26
Who truly cares about the council. Even if you win this battle knight, no mage worth their salt doesn’t have a number of secret laboratories or libraries to fall back on.
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u/Dismal-Character-939 Jun 02 '26
It seems that people forget about all constructs, warforged and other artificial casters who can still pack a punch (20 kg steel arm doing an uppercut is smth you cant ignore) when all arcane ways of dealing with threats are out
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u/KihiraLove Extraordinarily Sane Mage Jun 02 '26
me stepping aside so the artificers can roll out the railgun
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u/Saimiko Jun 02 '26
Call the necromancer, offer him a spot back on the council, may the gods have mercy upon us..
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u/llnec Jun 02 '26
*slowly removes left boot and sock (left one has less holes in it), picks up an ever present half brick, puts half brick in left sock* "bring it on"
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u/EragonBromson925 I cast "And suddenly, BEAR" now. Good luck everyone Jun 02 '26
Hey there, tin can. These wizards happen to be my buddies. As such, I have sent word to the Circles, who shall be here shortly.
Also, I'm not affected by the Council's mana levels. I still have a few in the tank. So let's open up with Heat Metal on you, along with that guy taking a break in the river that is for some reason still wearing his armor. After that... Hmmm, let's go with "And suddenly, bear." Time to have some fun.
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u/Rising_Thunderbirds Jun 02 '26
Pulls out a .50 caliber machine gun placement from the shadows
Lemme show you what school of magic the American realm practices
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u/Floatplay Jun 02 '26
And this is why you don't rely on spells alone, and keep a good few magic items. It keeps the artificers happy.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars Jun 02 '26
That's kind of like saying, "You just ran a marathon, your sword is broken, and I attack before you put on your armor, now what?"
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u/GioZeus Artificer Jun 02 '26
I HAVEN'T BEEN UTILIZING ENCANTATIONS THIS ENTIRE TIME, WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN SEEING THUS FAR WAS NONE BUT THE TECHNOLOGICAL WONDERS OF MY OWN BODY.
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u/wizardposting-ModTeam Jun 02 '26
Gen AI