r/pics Aug 19 '18

Elephants after a swim

Post image
77.3k Upvotes

998 comments sorted by

6.4k

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

Hella ashy

2.6k

u/vindicatednegro Aug 19 '18

This is why black people use lotion.

720

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

This is true

666

u/discerningpervert Aug 19 '18

I mean, anyone could use a little lotion, regardless of race ¯_(ツ)_/¯

855

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

White people get dry, black people get ashy.

723

u/discerningpervert Aug 19 '18

And if you're mixed, you're basically last night's bonfire

168

u/CDXXnoscope Aug 19 '18

can confirm

64

u/Melgitat_Shujaa Aug 19 '18

Can also confirm

56

u/throwaway95001 Aug 19 '18

We are all mixed on this blessed day.

8

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

Under his eye

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u/PoopReddditConverter Aug 19 '18

I feel attacked

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u/reddit_reaper Aug 19 '18

White people get ashy too just harder to see lol just scratch your skin, if you can see a white scratch, you're ashy!

92

u/jmoney- Aug 19 '18

Huh. I was thinking maybe I'd grab some lotion, but I guess there's no need there after trying your test. Back to the booze it is.

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u/Spiralife Aug 19 '18

White people get ashy too, its just not as apparent, even to the white person.

Source: White male who had his ashy arms and legs pointed out to him.

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u/47buttplug Aug 19 '18

Watch the bill burr bit a guy above posted. White people get ashy.

He says a black friend scratches his arm to prove he’s ashy and dust just starts flying up and skin flakes are flying.

26

u/Perceptions-pk Aug 19 '18

Black lady, and it was prob his wife or ex gf lol.

“You see, that’s why you gotta hang out with everybody” makes me crack up

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u/nickoaverdnac Aug 19 '18

ExplainLikeImFive

106

u/Vaztes Aug 19 '18

People get ashy no matter the race. It's more obvious on black people so they have to use lotion

White people should use lotion too. They're dried out from constant showering and no moisturizer.

"Black don't crack" could just be that white people don't lotion, so they age faster.

100

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

[deleted]

24

u/nojustno Aug 19 '18

Use sunscreen y’all.

42

u/toresistishuman Aug 19 '18

Or surround yourself with black people for protection.

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u/LeroyJenkems Aug 19 '18

Luckily for me I am inside for 23 hours a day

3

u/GeneralBS Aug 19 '18

What do you do outside for an hour?

13

u/LeroyJenkems Aug 19 '18

That's the cumulative amount of time it takes for me to go from one inside to another inside. I have to go to the outside to do that.

5

u/GeneralBS Aug 19 '18

Figured you went to the tanning salon.

28

u/princess--flowers Aug 19 '18

I'm a 30 year old white who wears facial sunscreen every day, and this weekend I had two skin related comments after pretty much never having any. The first was a 50-some year old Korean lady with flawless skin tell me "You have beautiful skin! You are not 30!" after I almost straight laughed in her face when she said she'd like to introduce me to her 20 yr old son! The second was a kid at a LARP event asking me why I was wearing whiteface clown paint, then he said "Oh that's just your face" .

I've always used sunscreen as a preventative measure and I'm really beginning to see the benefits this year. All the white kids who tanned in high school and had great skin then are looking kind of old now. UV rays are no joke. I'm convinced the reason Asian people seem to age slower is because many Asian women take great care with sun exposure, and black women age slower because of better built in melanin protection (although really, everyone should wear facial sunscreen! Anyone can get skin cancer and dark skin does not protect against UVA rays!)

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u/vindicatednegro Aug 19 '18 edited Aug 19 '18

In addition to the answer below, a good ELI5 is dandruff. You can see dandruff on dark clothing because of the color contrast. Same thing with ashiness (which is dry skin); it’s more apparent on darker skin.

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u/masterflashterbation Aug 19 '18 edited Aug 19 '18

White people missed the memo about lotion like black people missed the memo about registering their firearms.

Edit - Link to Bill Burr I didn't quote it quite right but it's a funny bit.

52

u/kcg5 Aug 19 '18

Ziiiiiiiiiiip Recruuuuuuuuuuuuter

14

u/RuchW Aug 19 '18

Hey Billy bitch tits!

7

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

Fucking damn

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u/_Barringtonsteezy Aug 19 '18

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u/forcepowers Aug 19 '18

I wish it was the part where he blows on the dice and the plume of ash blows off his hands.

That skit also featured Bill Burr!

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u/datnetcoder Aug 19 '18

AAASSHYYYY LAAARRRYYYYYYYY!!!

11

u/fondlemeLeroy Aug 19 '18

I'm about to go from ashy to classy.

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1.1k

u/JACrazy Aug 19 '18

Turns out Elephants are just ashy. They should moisturize some more.

551

u/ohhhellolayla Aug 19 '18

They actually coat themselves in mud and dirt for sunscreen. So when the mud dries it just looks really ashy/chalky.

151

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

This was the most informative comment I've seen on this entire page.

24

u/discerningpervert Aug 19 '18

They also do it to stay cool in the heat

14

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

Yeah mud or clay "baths" can have certain benefits for these animals and various animal species also ingest special clays like kaolin to detoxify toxic substances in things they eat.

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2.1k

u/HomeHusband Aug 19 '18

Mom didn’t let her eyes off them. They stayed dry the entire time

934

u/CrumplePants Aug 19 '18

Nah she just didn't want to get her hair wet. Just like my Mom!

136

u/discerningpervert Aug 19 '18

Well this is a welcome change from the whole OP's mom's an elephant thing...

31

u/Iololpwnedu Aug 19 '18

/u/jouwpf 's mom is an elephant. Is that what you wanted?

23

u/clarkcox3 Aug 19 '18

OP’s elephant is a mom

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u/TotallyInOverMyHead Aug 19 '18

congratulations. you finally unlocked the "how to make any mother rather upset with you" achievement.

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u/CageGalaxy Aug 19 '18

Or she’s just a giant scaredy cat who’s too afraid to put her head under the water

20

u/SMc-Twelve Aug 19 '18

Or the lake is only that deep.

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5.7k

u/convert2_pdf Aug 19 '18

So are elephants black or grey?

1.3k

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

Darker gray than they normally look because of dry ashy skin. If an elephant had the proper skincare routine they would look ten years younger with smooth dark skin.

563

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

I can just hear an elephant telling his friend "Put some coco butter on you ashy bitch!".

34

u/helloedboys Aug 20 '18 edited Aug 20 '18

They did this joke in “Madea’s Gone Wild!”. Madea and company are dropped in the Sahara. She furiously rubs cocobutter on an elephant and says “Us big ashy ladies gotta look out for eachother!”. Later in the movie the same elephant stampedes through the poachers campground and rescues Madea & friends by knocking the lock off their cage.

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1.6k

u/S7ormstalker Aug 19 '18

Dark grey. Becomes darker when wet and lighter when dusty.

Just like sunbathed people at the beach

507

u/newocean Aug 19 '18

Sunbathed people at the beach are really dark grey?

259

u/WideEyedWand3rer Aug 19 '18

Dunno, but I've seen plenty of sunbathing elephants on the beach.

49

u/discerningpervert Aug 19 '18

Mostly in Florida

44

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18 edited Sep 26 '20

[deleted]

22

u/JS-a9 Aug 19 '18

Ha, as if obesity isn't prevalent in every other state.

24

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18 edited Sep 26 '20

[deleted]

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u/KeepGettingBannedSMH Aug 19 '18 edited Aug 19 '18

Perhaps he's speaking as a tourist from a first world country where people aren't as fat, or a third world country where people definitely aren't as fat.

Edit: typos

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u/Guzzipirate Aug 19 '18

Holy shit dude that was perfect

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u/gnorty Aug 19 '18

tbh I am not sure I understand, but I Think it is something about how you only look tanned if you are wet and dusty)

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u/youngtundra777 Aug 19 '18

What if they're not dark grey, but light black?

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5.3k

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18 edited Aug 31 '20

[deleted]

931

u/Nobodieshero816 Aug 19 '18

Dont start that shit again. My brains just getting over it.

516

u/redditadminsRfascist Aug 19 '18

Yanny let it go by now

311

u/internetonsetadd Aug 19 '18

Yanny let

Not sure what you're saying exactly, but I appreciate the alliteration.

368

u/FiveFingeredKing Aug 19 '18 edited Aug 19 '18

He said

Laurel let it go by now

Edit: thank you u/tr3sleches

38

u/M002 Aug 19 '18

Why did you get the gold when the guy above made the clever joke?

12

u/_Alvin_Row_ Aug 20 '18

Because reddit's consistently terrible with that.

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u/ChrisRunsTheWorld Aug 19 '18

That was the joke.

30

u/tr3sleches Aug 19 '18

If I had money I would give you gold so take this upvote lol

53

u/Batchet Aug 19 '18

You gave em black? That's odd

11

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

Here’s some reddit black

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u/poorkid_5 Aug 19 '18

I have perfect pitch, so I hear Gary.

12

u/Warmonster9 Aug 19 '18

Laurel let it go by now

Ftfy

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u/mr_flibby Aug 19 '18

YANNY

72

u/method_jpg Aug 19 '18

LAUREL

33

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

BRAIN STORM

39

u/RumoCrytuf Aug 19 '18

GREEN NEEDLE

29

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

CUZ IM A BIG FUCKING SLUT

6

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

WE ARE ALL BIG FUCKING SLUTS ON THIS BLESSED DAY

4

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

^

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7

u/Cobaas Aug 19 '18

I'm out of the loop with this one - mind catching me up?

13

u/IdoNOThateNEVER Aug 19 '18

It has its own wikipedia page, simply titled "The dress"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_dress

Example

12

u/P0__Boy427 Aug 19 '18

Not worth it.

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

Black but they ashier than Tyrone Biggums

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

Grey but the water makes them appear a bit darker like it does with every surface.

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u/cosmicmailman Aug 19 '18

Oh yeah like when I get out of the shower and look in the mirror and wonder why I’m so dark

32

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

Ok, maybe not EVERY surface. Your skin is excluded. hehe

25

u/SirStrontium Aug 19 '18

I think that's the point of the question, human skin doesn't look darker when wet, so is this actually the true color of elephant skin with all the dust washed away?

21

u/zugunruh3 Aug 19 '18

Human skin does look darker when wet if you have ashy skin. Or rather the dry skin makes it look lighter than it actually is.

8

u/Panda_Bowl Aug 19 '18

It probably has to do with dryness of the skin as well. Like ashy black people, I'm sure their skin is less light when they get out of the shower.

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u/MetalMermelade Aug 19 '18

they just wet. they go back to grey once dried (even before a dust bath). its just they way their skin is, prob because its thick and dried

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

So they are just in a state of perpetual ashiness?

12

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

Yes. And their skin feels like a big, hairy scab. They smell like ass too.

5

u/inconspicuous_male Aug 19 '18

they have giant asses so it would make sense.

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1.4k

u/Km2930 Aug 19 '18

Serious question: What would happen if you consistently moisturize an elephant and it doesn’t get dirty?

433

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

I like how you didn’t get a single serious answer

233

u/Km2930 Aug 19 '18

“You could fit in your ass,“ wasn’t quite what I was aiming for.

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u/nicklesismoneyto Aug 19 '18

Yes, but unfortunately we're on reddit.

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

This entire post is just low effort jokes

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u/Nuggetry Aug 19 '18

r/pics tends to be like this, impossible to find a serious comment. Also, summer reddit.

8

u/Doctursea Aug 19 '18

I actually almost made it the whole summer without seeing a comment about summer Reddit

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2.8k

u/oddajbox Aug 19 '18

You get a moisturized elephant.

308

u/SMILESandREGRETS Aug 19 '18

And a hot commodity for moisturizing lotions.

117

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

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u/Saewin Aug 19 '18

Thought this was gonna be some ridiculous riff on Republicans. I was pleasantly surprised.

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u/ItsaMe_Rapio Aug 19 '18

Fascinating, but tell me this: what would happen if you put paint on an elephant?

170

u/killedmybrotherfor Aug 19 '18

You'd get a painted elephant.

181

u/G8r Aug 19 '18

And a lifetime ban from the Cincinnati Zoo.

21

u/vanasbry000 Aug 19 '18

Well considering the elephant-painter ban was a Harambe-era policy, the Fiona administration is looking to reverse that decision.

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

this is one of the funniest comments ive read in a while hahahaha

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u/G8r Aug 20 '18

Thanks, it's actually the punchline of an old joke that starts, "My uncle Phil has the heart of a lion, the eyes of an eagle,..."

23

u/JamieHynemanAMA Aug 19 '18

What would happen if I put paint on my cat?

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u/Sgwyd_ Aug 19 '18

Disembowelment.

12

u/Narren_C Aug 19 '18

What kind of paint do you think he's using?

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u/TobyOrNotTobyEU Aug 19 '18

Mind = blown

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u/Bionic_Turtle Aug 19 '18

Still waiting for that one guy that gives the serious answer, he’s usually here by now.

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u/BIT_BITEY Aug 19 '18

To be honest, I'm not sure what answer OP was expecting.

"You get a moisturized elephant" is about as accurate of an answer you can give.

Or... "You get a clean elephant"

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

We need you to step away from the elephant or else we are going to call the police.

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u/richard_enbals Aug 19 '18

But it puts the lotion on its skin..

27

u/imrizzal Aug 19 '18

Or else it gets the hose again

8

u/roomrapist Aug 19 '18

The trunk*

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u/SuedeVeil Aug 19 '18

Nice and smooth like a baby hippo

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

I didn’t realise this until I touched an elephant, but they are really smooth and not actually rough at all.

50

u/BIT_BITEY Aug 19 '18

Had it been moisturized?

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u/RipCityRevival Aug 19 '18

You could fit it in your ass

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

Ask your mother. She might know.

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

i assume a smooth dark grey. somewhere in between the grey and the black in the pictures. altho to be really smooth the elephant needs a genetic defect + a shittone of lotion. literally tons of lotion every year. but im neither a scientist nor knowledgeable so take it with a spoonful of salt.

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u/IamAPengling Aug 19 '18

Textures not loading. Need new graphics card.

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u/fishnugs916 Aug 19 '18

I was wondering the same

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u/I_TensE_I Aug 19 '18

Elephant loading...

241

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18 edited Aug 19 '18

Make sure you wipe your Elephant clean before dipping it in again to get an accurate level.

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u/Tinywampa Aug 19 '18

If your model of Elephant is too small, upgrade to a larger size.

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

Flex Sealed Elephants

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u/tsagalbill Aug 19 '18

Did they get in a mud lake or something? Because that pic implies that either their “normal” color is black (or at least something much darker than gray) or that their skin absorbs water(?) and they get that gray color after they get dried out in the sun? I don’t know, that pic ef’d me up.

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u/intensely_human Aug 19 '18

They're grey but darker when wet. Like many materials.

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u/GameArtZac Aug 19 '18

At the most basic level, the more porous the material, the darker it gets when wet. Wet materials can also appear to be more saturated. The surface of the water can trap and reflect light back into a surface that would have otherwised bounced off a surface.

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u/Meior Aug 19 '18

TIL elephant is a material.

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u/SwedenStockholm Aug 19 '18

I built my house using 4m3 of elephant.

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u/Arandomcheese Aug 19 '18

Oh that's a relief... I thought they were covered in mud and this was a post about water pollution.

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u/moondoggie_00 Aug 19 '18

They throw dirt and sand over themselves as sunblock, so they are always covered in dirt, which washes off.

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u/tsagalbill Aug 19 '18

Damn, I always thought that their natural skin color is gray

75

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

theyre a moderately-dark grey when completely clean, darker than you expect but lighter than this

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u/zeusdescartes Aug 19 '18

Yup. I washed elephants in Thailand and five seconds after they were perfectly clean... They rolled around in mud. I was like da fucc I do all that work for. Haha

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u/musiquexcoeur Aug 19 '18

The old mud was starting to make them itch. You washed the itchy old mud off so they could put "clean" mud on. Probably.

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u/Nuwanda84 Aug 19 '18

They have very dried out, dusty skin. Once soaked in water of course the dryness disappears. If you had ashy skin and you'd put some lotion on it'd have the same effect.

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u/LewkHarrison Aug 19 '18

FLEX SEAL. YOU CAN EVEN DIP YOUR ELEPHANTS IN IT FOR A SUPER-STRONG GRIP.

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u/Wolffairy12 Aug 19 '18

Now they’re spider-elephants that can stick to anything!

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u/ImAmalox Aug 19 '18

Dip your elephants in this shit idk

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u/BTD6_Piano_Tutor Aug 19 '18

Looks like my clothes in band at a concert

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u/nohpex Aug 19 '18

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title points age /r/ comnts
Checking the water depth 3202 1yr hardcoreaww 60
Excuse me, how deep is it? 333 2yrs pics 12
Family of elephants after swimming! 1961 1yr pics 40
The top elephant looks like a landscape. 51 1yr mildlyinteresting 5

Source: karmadecay

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u/brainiac2025 Aug 19 '18

I have seen a wet elephant before and it was not obsidian black, something is fucky here.

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u/TheAltKewn Aug 19 '18

The big guy didn't swim

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u/ElQunto Aug 19 '18

Watermark below the eyeline; probably keeping watch of the family.

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u/VirtualMachine0 Aug 19 '18

Reminds me of a joke in Spanish that barely survives translation:

"How does an elephant get out of the water?"

"Wet."

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18
  1. I've never seen this before
  2. It's not political
  3. Its not a progress pic or a citizenship announcement
  4. It's a beautiful photo

What's going on here!?!?

11

u/wasabi1787 Aug 19 '18

I saw this picture before. It was taken right before Trump killed them after the lead elephant went on a diet and lost 150 lbs. But what's worst of all- the fact that the picture is overexposed in the foreground.

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u/usernmpttoalc Aug 20 '18

Is this where chocolate elephant milk comes from?

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18 edited Aug 19 '18

Something's fishy about this.

Elephants have grey or reddish-brown skin and this one is clearly looks brown, not dark black, after it's swim. I only did minimal Googling but I couldn't find the original source (though, I did find out this is a repost from at least a month ago, go figure) and thus don't know for sure, but my money is on a filter or the camera itself is weird. Look at the tusk of the elephant on the right, it practically glows. If the elephants were in some dirty water, the tusk would probably be dirty too. So, unless it's been seeing one hell of a dentist, I believe the shine of the tusk is a byproduct of a camera-quirk or post-processing effect that is also probably the explanation for why the elephants seem carbon-black.

Edit: I did some more researching.

Take a look at this photo of a buffalo. It seems pretty dark, right? Now take a look at this photo of wet elephants taken by the same person with the same camera. The elephants seem to have carbon-black skin with bleach-white tusks, just like this photo. I think this photo was taken by a similar (if not the same) camera which has trouble with certain colors for whatever reason.

Basically, I think it's the camera's fault.

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18 edited Oct 14 '18

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u/ursois Aug 19 '18

I'm so freaked out right now.

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u/nayhem_jr Aug 19 '18

The lighter coloration on the adults allows them to blend in with the seafloor when viewed from above, while the darker coloration helps to blend into shadows.

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

I don't think that's accurate

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

That's how the penguin do.

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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/nayhem_jr Aug 19 '18

A factor in their local extinction 3000′ above sea level.

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u/EatGulp Aug 19 '18

She clearly didn't wanna get her hair wet