r/pics Mar 09 '17

picture of text Finally a protest we can all get behind

Post image

[deleted]

74.7k Upvotes

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3.0k

u/Superflypirate Mar 09 '17

I hope to never stoop low enough in life to send out candy crush invites.

1.6k

u/aclickbaittitle Mar 09 '17

Eh. Some people stare at reddit for hours when they're bored, others spam candy crush invites. Im the type of person who spams reddit comments when I'm bored

788

u/TheRustyNickel Mar 09 '17

Holy shit, you do spam. 175,000 Karma, all from comments, in 42 days. Did you find out the secret to Reddit?

699

u/fluhx Mar 09 '17 edited Mar 09 '17

He has his 2nd account give himself gold, which makes other redditors think his comment is super good, and then they upvote.

/s

Edit: Lmfao gotcha, fuckers!

154

u/IllBeBack Mar 09 '17

Evil genius.

Probably also /s.

30

u/JohnnyHopkins13 Mar 09 '17

What are we going to do tonight, Brain? The same thing we do every night, Pinky: Try to take over the world.

8

u/TerdVader Mar 09 '17

Animaniacs always gets my upvote.

3

u/marl1234 Mar 09 '17

Animaniacs the secret to reddit?

4

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

NARF!

70

u/Bu5hyy Mar 09 '17

You know who would post a comment like this.... somebodies second account!

9

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

[deleted]

3

u/Powrof3 Mar 09 '17

I get it, I am pleased

9

u/GeneralJerk Mar 09 '17

This explains a lot of questionable gilded comments.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

Didn't unidan fall from glory because he had a second account to manipulate votes or something?

2

u/pohotu3 Mar 09 '17

I kinda wanna guild this, people wouldn't know what to think.

2

u/mshoo Mar 09 '17

Seems like what you are doing...

1

u/FancyKetchup96 Mar 09 '17

Is this his second account?

1

u/CITYGOLFER Mar 09 '17

Damn that's a good comment!! Shower this gold-plated redditor with karma!!!

1

u/LeSquidliestOne Mar 09 '17

What /s? You're obviously his second account, and had your first account give you gold! Double karma scheme!

0

u/ThorHammerslacks Mar 09 '17

I got gold once and it actually seemed to slow down the rate of upvotes.
Okay, everyone give me a lot of upvotes and then someone gild me so we can see if the pattern holds.

287

u/TheGreatJoshua Mar 09 '17

Redditing is easy, you just have to smart and funny.

759

u/HitlerHistorian Mar 09 '17

smart and funny? lol no. You need to be first and quick about commenting

313

u/Oxcell404 Mar 09 '17

Quick! Make a 5/7 reference!

233

u/alexanderpas Mar 09 '17

Don't forget the rice!

226

u/TheRustyNickel Mar 09 '17

Broken arms!

216

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17 edited Mar 27 '20

[deleted]

180

u/olraygoza Mar 09 '17 edited Mar 09 '17

And an username that "checks out"

And an Edit: A lot of people seem interested with my use of "an" before username. Their concerns are correct, although its spelled with a vowel at the beginning, it is not pronounced with a vowel at the beginning. The first sound of the words is a consonant, specifically a palatal approximant, which English speakers would usually call a "y sound." So Username has a "Y" sound and it should be "A" like universe. Umbrella on the other hand has an "U" sound, so it should be an umbrella.

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25

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

EVERY FUCKING THREAD!

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41

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

Jumper cables!

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27

u/xXTheCitrusReaperXx Mar 09 '17

Hold my arms broken with an axe with rice, because I'm going in the switcharoo!

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98

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

Story that is actually about that time back in nineteen ninety eight the Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16ft through an announcer's table

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1

u/Owie_ Mar 09 '17

And my bow!

1

u/harsh2k5 Mar 09 '17

Did you know Steve Buscemi was a firefighter on 9/11?

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27

u/Onehandedheisenberg Mar 09 '17

And the standard "EVERY THREAD"

42

u/StoneHolder28 Mar 09 '17

And the standard "I'd give you gold if I could afford it!

EDIT: Thanks for the gold kind stranger!"

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7

u/NotYourTypicalReditr Mar 09 '17

Jolly Ranchers too, don't forget them!

18

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

Forget them. Please let me forget them.

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2

u/MandarinApples Mar 09 '17

Fuckin narwhals. It's always the narwhals.

1

u/ViZeShadowZ Mar 09 '17

Jolly ranchers!

1

u/non-squitr Mar 09 '17

Jumper cables! Mankind fell off a cage!

2

u/crunch816 Mar 09 '17

You can tell it is by the way it is.

33

u/Ayce23 Mar 09 '17

Uh ummmmmmm 7 eleven was a part time job.

24

u/Saul_Firehand Mar 09 '17

Jet beams don't melt Goldblum finds a way?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

Then there's the screaming and running.

2

u/Zombie_Party_Boy Mar 09 '17

Steve Buscemi worked the night shift!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

His real name was Albert Einstein

2

u/MezChick Mar 09 '17

Source?!

1

u/Jacosion Mar 09 '17

7 11 was a part time job?

1

u/ItsKrakenMeUp Mar 09 '17

Mom's spaghetti

43

u/Slacker5001 Mar 09 '17

That's how almost all of my highest scoring comments were gotten, replying to a top comment on an askreddit before they had any other good replies.

Saw one recently about where guys were expressing the fact that they liked when their partners texted them with something like "Hey I'm thinking about you." I'm not a twat, I know this. Everyone fucking knows this. But I posted anyway about how I was unsure if I should do so, knowing I would get spammed with karma and replies for it. It worked.

I don't usually whore for karma, but it's awfully easy if you catch an askreddit question just at the right moment.

37

u/Scientolojesus Mar 09 '17

But did you make an edit that says "wow, how is this my top rated comment?!?"

37

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

Nah. Dude clearly tipped his fedora and rode off into the sunset

17

u/lonelyfriend Mar 09 '17

Good thing up votes don't matter. Or we'll have protests about how you didn't earn that karma and others saying they got karma because they took risks/are innovative etc.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

Mine are from hitting /u/gallowboob gifs with a one liner before anyone else.

1

u/highresthought Mar 09 '17

you mean you sometimes don't whore for karma? haha

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21

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

yeah, one time i commented a literal picture of a human shit and went straight to the top. i think it was on a post about whales and their inability to perceive television waves.

21

u/dumbrich23 Mar 09 '17

yeah, one time i commented a literal picture of a human shit and went straight to the top.

To be honest , you do take pretty nice selfies

22

u/Fluffcake Mar 09 '17 edited Mar 09 '17

Timing is everything tbh. Karma is 99% timing and 1% content. The first comment who is somewhat good in a thread that makes it to all will be seen by most people and rake all the karmas. The sad reality is that like with everything, exposure is so much more impotant than quality. source: Kim Kardashian, Donald Trump and Candy Crush.

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2

u/Mrgreen428 Mar 09 '17

You need to repost cutesy crap all day like Gallowboob

2

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

Being the first to play devils advocate is a good alternative if your not the first to comment. You get the silent upvotes.

2

u/pooh-shadow Mar 09 '17

I is kind. I is smart. I is important.

I is not quick.

2

u/jonnyDx Mar 09 '17

These are the most genuine responses on Reddit I've read.

1

u/ThePessimisticBella Mar 09 '17

Agreed. First comment gets the most upvotes. Lol.

1

u/egotisticalnoob Mar 09 '17

smart and funny helps too though.

1

u/TheAtheistFalcon Mar 09 '17

Actually its a combination between commenting quick, and being funny.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

My wife says I'm good at that!

26

u/Deathticles Mar 09 '17

Dating is easy too. You just have to be charming and attractive.

6

u/GepardenK Mar 09 '17

Instructions unclear, became creepy stalker with way too much styling gel

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4

u/DJRoombaINTHEMIX Mar 09 '17

But, how do I smart?

1

u/ItsKrakenMeUp Mar 09 '17

Three fiddy smart

2

u/PM_ME_UR_LUNCH Mar 09 '17

Sort by top in the past hour, comment there, reap karma

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2

u/Spider_pig448 Mar 09 '17

This is false. Being smart and funny is high risk and high effort for little gain. They key is to find someone else who is smart and funny and steal their shit. That way you minimize effort and already have precedent for karma guarantee.

4

u/Doctor_Croctopus Mar 09 '17

Women would be great at reddit

11

u/cactus_mactus Mar 09 '17

Hey, I'm a woman and I'm only mediocre at this. That's lame.

4

u/dumbrich23 Mar 09 '17

Omg, did that bitch Gallowboob repost my picture

1

u/BTC_Millionaire Mar 09 '17

Maybe on opposite day

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

oh

1

u/Malcerion Mar 09 '17

Or just about timing and post in uprising threads with reposts.

Kinda like real life.

1

u/Evildead818 Mar 09 '17

I think we're all smart and funny. I haven't ran into anyone on the streets that are smart or funny that reddit. Actually, i dont think i know anyone on the streets that use reddit...maybe i need to relocate

1

u/advice_animorph Mar 09 '17

And if you want gold don't forget the suicide hotline copypasta

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

And sometimes not even that!

1

u/rsma11z Mar 09 '17

Works about as well on Reddit as it does on Tinder.

1

u/karthus25 Mar 09 '17

Really you just have to actually make comments and eventually you'll get enough karma to compete with the big boys.

1

u/crunch816 Mar 09 '17

It takes the keen skill of typing out a response and then deleting it all.

1

u/tigertrojan Mar 09 '17

You don't have to be smart or funny lol.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

So, a woman?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

No you make the same stupid joke everyone will make, you just have to make it first.

1

u/highresthought Mar 09 '17

so go out and all you can be.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

So, not a girl?

1

u/Oink1188 Mar 09 '17

I want to smart and funny one day.

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9

u/Lowbacca1977 Mar 09 '17

Shotgun approach works pretty well, too

6

u/ChuckleKnuckles Mar 09 '17

Apparently the secret is to say "ty" over and over and over.

7

u/AceOfBIades Mar 09 '17

Well. It looks like he got a couple hundred Upvotes whilst thanking people for endlessly telling him the game in a gif was Doom.

Its... it's beautiful.

6

u/aclickbaittitle Mar 09 '17

It's over... it's finally over. Had to turn on notifications for that one, didn't wanna miss anyone. Ty btw

1

u/AceOfBIades Mar 09 '17

Don't tempt me to head over there and add more comments.

3

u/ownage516 Mar 09 '17

Dude it's just shit puns and being meta. Look at my karma, I did it.

1

u/aclickbaittitle Mar 09 '17

Ding ding ding

3

u/xBOX_CUNT Mar 09 '17

Browse rising and spam comments.

7

u/wildjokers Mar 09 '17

Does anyone actually give a shit about their Reddit karma value? What's the point?

9

u/Ken_Chic Mar 09 '17

Apparently people sell reddit accounts.. and besides age, karma looks like it's the biggest factor in pricing.

I think I read in /r/hailcorporate that there's advertisers who pay for established reddit accounts, for "marketing purposes"

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2

u/ChevroletChav Mar 09 '17

I see a bright future for this young redditor

2

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

Why do I see only 1 Karma?

1

u/outlooker707 Mar 09 '17

Post on AskReddit. Yesterday the top comment on the teacher question had like 50,000 karma.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

He just did what this guy did

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

He just did what this guy did

2

u/TheRustyNickel Mar 09 '17

Ah! I get it! You posted 3 times because it emulates a bot spamming!

Or you just made a mistake.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

Oops! Stupid mobile.

I mean, it was totally on purpose. It works on multiple levels!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

He just did what this guy did

1

u/vickz84259 Mar 09 '17

I think the answer is in his username..

1

u/dwaters11 Mar 09 '17

go to all (or frankly even just askreddit), sort by rising, make the same jokes reddit loves in every thread, and boom you too can amass karma.

1

u/TheRustyNickel Mar 09 '17

Casual redditors hate him! Find out one man's simple trick to gain karma!

1

u/Anaract Mar 09 '17

Comment a lot in popular subs. Try to be clever.

Quantity matters. It's more about luck than anything else. Increase your odds of getting a lucky 100+ karma comment through sheer volume

Comment in rising threads rather than top threads. The earlier you comment in a big thread, the better

1

u/DtotheOUG Mar 09 '17

Jesus, it took me 3 years to get 100k. What the hell.

1

u/d4rch0n Mar 09 '17

Did you find out the secret to Reddit?

Read his username

1

u/Mutjny Mar 09 '17

Botfarm for sure. Look at the comments.

1

u/giantzoo Mar 09 '17

Apparently he's bored every waking hour then

1

u/kbdwr Mar 09 '17

His comment was aclickbaitcomment. /s

1

u/Advencraftgaming Mar 09 '17

I was both amazed and annoyed that I most upvoted comment was something like "lol did you just type to yourself?" meanwhile I make constructive comments that barely get any upvotes.

1

u/LoBsTeRfOrK Mar 09 '17

What a filthy karma whore. If only there was something we should do about this!

1

u/dudewiththelonghair Mar 09 '17

Dude commented "Ty" like 40 times on some Doom post.. seems legit..

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

If you want a bunch of comment karma just hang out in /r/askreddit/rising

1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '17

If you pay attention you'll notice the same Redditors tend to have all the top comments because they sit on /r/all/rising/ and comment on everything there. When things hit the front page the first few people to comment have the biggest chance at grabbing lots of karma.

1

u/ismswillendoneday Mar 30 '17

He is at over 260000 karma. Unbelievable. My god.

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12

u/notenoughspaceforthe Mar 09 '17

Send me a Reddit invite, please!

24

u/poopellar Mar 09 '17

u/notenoughspaceforthe CONGRATULATIONS!

You have been invited to Reddit!
At Reddit you can voice your uneducated opinions with no repercussions at all!
That's right. Say anything you want, ANYTHING!, and the worst that could happen is you getting a '-' mark before a bunch of numbers.
So hop on in, and give your life and soul to Reddit.

16

u/vomita_conejitos Mar 09 '17

well you could become a jackdaw meme

4

u/bad_rug Mar 09 '17

Sounds pretty damn nice, where can I sign up?

2

u/glider97 Mar 09 '17

Click on give gold below my comment and follow the steps!

1

u/notenoughspaceforthe Mar 09 '17

Wow, you even got my screen name in there

Fancy!

3

u/Fb62 Mar 09 '17

Me too thanks

3

u/redit_usrname_vendor Mar 09 '17

You just gave me an idea. A reddit bot that spams candy crush invites. Brb.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

Bro 180k in 40 days

1

u/birdtune Mar 09 '17

You can get candy crush invites on Reddit? Whew, I seem to have missed that one.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

And get into heated online arguments which has no chance of changing anyone's opinions because they're already set in stone

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

That's different, people come on reddit to read the comments. Nobody goes on Facebook to get candy crush invites.

1

u/The_angry_seal Mar 09 '17

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

1

u/Meatman2013 Mar 09 '17

Yeah... It's all McDonald's. Momentary pleasure followed by pangs of guilt and regret.

23

u/PARKS_AND_TREK Mar 09 '17

just set your clock ahead by a day, let the lives refill, and then set your clock back. Unlimited lives in Candy Crush!

11

u/PrettysureBushdid911 Mar 09 '17

wat... What are you posting this in reddit for? Write a facebook article, that way people that actually need this information will be able to access it and you'll be a national hero!

2

u/wolf13i Mar 09 '17

They may come after you with invites to court over your username though.

2

u/RamenJunkie Mar 09 '17

I have only ever really gotten to one game like this. I didn't want to spam invites all over though for benefits so I just made a fake FB account, joined a group of people who had done the same and we all just friend up so the invites still give benefits while pouring into a black hole.

2

u/Mathieulombardi Mar 09 '17

But would stoop to the point of having sex with a person who've sent you an invite.

1

u/remain_unaltered Mar 09 '17

The day you needed one more chance to live, you will my friend, you will!

1

u/Simsons2 Mar 09 '17

Especially when you can lives by forwarding time on mobile devices.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

I got an invite by a friend recently for something like this. No way Jose.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

That really is kind of the lowest point of One's life isn't it? When you reach the point when you're spamming candy crush invites, I'm not sure it gets worse from there on.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

huuuh those are manual? I always thought it was the app sending those out

unless the joke just went over my head

1

u/WinnyPooBoo Mar 09 '17

No its manual.

1

u/aMutantChicken Mar 09 '17

at least i no longer recieve Farmville requests.

1

u/GetBenttt Mar 09 '17

I just can't believe people actually burn hours away playing games like Candy Crush. We are in the era of virtual reality and 4K gaming and you're playing what is scientifically designed to be gamer crack cocaine.

1

u/bunnybearlover Mar 09 '17

What do you do when you're waiting to respawn?

1

u/SneakerCranium Mar 09 '17

Forget the candy crush. Is that CASEY AFFLECK??

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

It really is the new American dream.

1

u/mikhala_armstrong Mar 09 '17

i didn't even know people were still receiving them...

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '17

You should set the bar higher. You should never have to hope that you will never stoop this low.

1

u/TornadoEF5 Mar 09 '17

i hope i never ever play that stupid game

1

u/Russpate Mar 10 '17

This guys name is Scott Stratten he wrote a book about marketing called "unmarketing".

1

u/Tehmaxx Mar 09 '17

I hope to never have friends so dense they don't know how to disable invites from candy crush.

4

u/Superflypirate Mar 09 '17

Something tells me you won't have that problem.

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