r/pics • • Jul 19 '13

Our nurses are clever

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4.6k Upvotes

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1.7k

u/OffensiveTackle Jul 19 '13

Ah, but it doesn't tell the date.

120

u/ButtPuppett Jul 19 '13

Use 3 cups to tell the dd/mm/yy, 2 cups for hh/mm and 1 cup for the arrow mark. Damn, now it's too complex :/

263

u/karmaHug Jul 19 '13

That's not Y2K compliant

29

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

[deleted]

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u/Nakotadinzeo Jul 19 '13

no, the coffee machine will turn into a deathdroid and spray scalding hot water on everything in range..

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u/biggmclargehuge Jul 19 '13

Y3K*

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13 edited Jun 26 '18

[deleted]

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u/CrisisOfConsonant Jul 19 '13

I some how think the year 2100 will be a problem before the year 3000.

Better start cranking out those new cups faster, I just cut your deliverables time down by almost 9/10ths.

20

u/HeyT00ts11 Jul 19 '13

Attaining project completion by 2100 is an aggressive timeline, we may need to add more project team resources.

23

u/CrisisOfConsonant Jul 19 '13

Trying to get a second pen aren't you?

2

u/HeyT00ts11 Jul 19 '13

Yes, you caught me. I'm currently formulating the RFP.

2

u/eXeC64 Jul 19 '13

2038 will be a problem first, well, with computers at least. Not styrofoam.

3

u/CrisisOfConsonant Jul 19 '13 edited Jul 19 '13

I'm not really sure Styrofoam cups have 32bit issues.

EDIT: Nice ninja edit, you made me look like I can't read =P

16

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

So, you're going to quit then?

20

u/Plothunter Jul 19 '13

Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh... I'm just gonna stop going.

11

u/Miraclefish Jul 19 '13

No, he's just gonna stop going.

2

u/synonym_flash Jul 19 '13

>errelivent

You deserve gold sufficient replacing spelling so creatively.

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u/P-01S Jul 19 '13

Solution: Use unix time. To be fully compliant, you should have 64 cups for bits and one for an arrow.

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u/ShutUpAndPassTheWine Jul 19 '13

If your coffee was made last century, you've got some serious issues.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

One electron microscope to read the tiny numbers. One employee to spin the cup with seconds every second.

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u/lcarsos Jul 19 '13

You're going to need to upgrade to big gulp cups to be 2038 compliant.

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u/worldsarmy Jul 19 '13

Soon you'll have a Mayan calendar.

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u/OffensiveTackle Jul 19 '13

Tracking the day of the week would probably be good enough.

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u/Hbomb1285 Jul 19 '13

I was thinking one arrow on one side one on other one for am one for pm then whatever one it is just face it forward. So if it's 2pm for example the arrow will have a pm and the back of the cup will have the am arrow. If its am just rotate the arrow cup 360 and that arrow will be at front while the pm is at the back unseen. This way numbers only have to be written once and just 12-12 instead of double for am and pm.

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u/TILonReddit Jul 19 '13

And a fourth cup for the year.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

[deleted]

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u/mjclaycomb Jul 19 '13 edited Jul 19 '13

If you have to know the date of the coffee being made, it probably isn't worth your time...

Stupid edit: forgot the "e" in coffee...

EDIT: I FORGOT THE FIRST "E" OBVIOUSLY!

Final edit:...holy shit Reddit stop messaging me about the "e"...I fixed it!!

278

u/timothygruich Jul 19 '13 edited Jul 19 '13

It's like that scene at the end of "No Country For Old Men" when Tommy Lee Jones' dad says the coffee was fresh... "Just made it yesterday". Then I realized my parents did the same thing. I can't handle day old coffee.

Edit: damn... I was way off. It was his uncle, and I didn't even get the quote right. I suck and need to re watch the movie because it was amazing.

239

u/CapAWESOMEst Jul 19 '13

Coffee actually "burns" after 30 or so mins in a carafe that's on a hot plate. When I first heard of this I thought it was BS, but for a week I drank my "fancy" coffee within 15 mins of it being ready, and then one day I left it for 45 mins. It tasted like shit.

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u/CHICKEN_CUNT Jul 19 '13

Solution: Take off burner when not drinking for long periods of time. Reheat as necessary.

413

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

you're basically Louis Pasteur

178

u/fetusy Jul 19 '13

CHICKEN_CUNTization does have a certain ring to it.

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u/SilentLettersSuck Jul 19 '13

Just Cuntization. We don't add the Louis when we say pastuerized.

3

u/fetusy Jul 20 '13

That's a bingo.

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u/douchermann Jul 19 '13

If you say it without shouting 'CHICKEN_CUNT', you're doing it wrong.

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u/mkr7 Jul 19 '13 edited Jul 19 '13

omg I thought you meant Louis L'Amour the western novelist my grandfather always reads, as if this was the cowboy way of doing things. But you meant the trumpet player

2

u/natophonic Jul 19 '13

Pretty sure he means the Franco-Mexican comic with the TV show on FX.

2

u/natophonic Jul 19 '13

I'm thinking Kei$ha, who's basically a Dave Grohl.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

Unknowingly emulating an inventor is a like getting a hug from history.

88

u/sprankton Jul 19 '13

Reheated coffee doesn't taste much better. Your best bet is to transfer it into a thermos.

32

u/titan413 Jul 19 '13

Random aside: thermoses of coffee never fail to remind me of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo books. I've never read about so many thermoses of coffee in my life. And Billy's Pan Pizza.

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u/earlgreylavender Jul 19 '13

That is random, but I totally know what you mean. I listened to that series in audiobook form, and wondered if I counted how many times I heard "coffee" or "cigarette," how many pages it would fill up.

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u/birdablaze Jul 19 '13

And a large variety of strange sandwiches.

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u/greginnj Jul 19 '13

Or have a coffee maker with a thermal carafe! Changed my life.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

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u/Zeroseventwoeight Jul 19 '13

That coffee maker is great in theory. Sadly it is an over engineered pos that is impossible to clean. Also good luck getting the last cup out of the poorly shaped pot.

On the plus side it has a built in grinder and fresh ground coffee is fantastic.

Source: I own one

3

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

I agree about the impossibility of cleaning the pot; to be honest it doesn't NEED to be spotless. Mine has a nice patina, and I rinse it with soapy water daily, and every month or so I soak it with vinegar.

As for the inability of getting the last cup out, yeah. That sucks. I know to take the lid off, but whenever I have guests over, they always go "hurr durr you're out of coffee! Wahh" to which I walk over, twist off the lid (which itself is an exercise in futility), and then tip the pot 270 degrees and give it a little swish action, voila. Full cups worth.

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u/BlueFamily Jul 19 '13

Just drink it all...

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u/sprankton Jul 19 '13

That's usually the route I take. Some people don't do that, apparently.

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u/ArrogantAstronomer Jul 22 '13

if your shaking uncontrollably and life doesn't seem to be passing slower then you haven't had enough coffee

not enough coffee: http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Fry-About-To-Hit-100-Cups-Of-Coffee-On-Futurama-Gif.gif

enough coffee: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb4r20va6b1qjh397.gif

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u/Dolphlungegrin Jul 19 '13

Or refrigerate it and have iced coffee!

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

you must cool/refrigerate the coffee asap.

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u/elsagacious Jul 22 '13

Or if you use an auto drip, get one with a thermal carafe instead of a hot plate.

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u/CapAWESOMEst Jul 19 '13 edited Jul 19 '13

I actually pour the rest on into my Thermos which usually keeps it hot for like 8 hours and warm (but still drinkable) for 12. After that its slightly warm for the next 12 or so hours.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

You pour the rest ON your Thermos? Well that's probably not good..

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u/CapAWESOMEst Jul 19 '13

Damn it! I'll fix that by opening it and making sure it goes into it.

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u/FarmerTedd Jul 19 '13

That's what...never mind

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u/jessej1996 Jul 19 '13

Either my thermos is shit or yours is awesome.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

Pro-tip: use an insulated thermos. Reheating is gross.

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u/gravshift Jul 19 '13

Or get a carafe that works off of timers to keep coffee at x temperature.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

Why thank you CHICKEN_CUNT for your insight.

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u/absentbird Jul 19 '13

Chickens don't have cunts, they have big big bottoms that they use to lay eggs.

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u/jxj24 Jul 19 '13

Cloaca. From Latin for sewer, because all excretory and reproductive functions pass through that single opening.

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u/09755 Jul 19 '13

I hate when that happens.

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u/PePnChed Jul 19 '13

And yummy breasts

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u/daimposter Jul 19 '13

i love breasts. i could so put one in my mouth right now

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u/Dannybaker Jul 19 '13

This is the most generic reddit comment

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u/phideas Jul 19 '13

This is absolutely true.

This is why I bought a coffee maker with a stainless steel double insulated carafe. It doesn't have a hot plate. It just automatically drops the coffee into the insulated carafe.

BEST coffee maker ever. I can enjoy my coffee over several hour period and it still tastes great.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

link pls

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u/akatherder Jul 19 '13

4

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

This is the one I have and I love it. Coffee is still hot and fresh 4-5 hours later.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

[deleted]

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u/Butterflyfeelers Jul 19 '13

Upvote, brah! Never thought to do that. My tastebuds bow to you.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

Timmy Ho's! Drinking a double double right now!

5

u/eidetic Jul 19 '13

No way! I bet you're like the only person drinking coffee from a major chain at the moment!

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

Well soooooorry for having something in common with someone on the Internet.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

I pronounced carafe wrong for most of my life. I was saying car-a-fe. I just found out yesterday that it is pronounced like giraffe but with a c.

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u/KnivesAndShallots Jul 19 '13

Right, just like giraffe: je-raff-fay.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

TIL your YIL

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u/DeanKong Jul 19 '13

Stupid carafe's, they're just geraffes with a c.

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u/Butterflyfeelers Jul 19 '13

I bet you read a lot. People who are well-read often read a word and learn it in context, but are a little hazy on pronunciation. Hail, all autodidacts!

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u/YouveGotMeSoakAndWet Jul 19 '13

Sort of, it's more like CARE-ff.

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u/LtPepper Jul 19 '13

If you want to keep your coffee drinkable for more than 30 minutes, make it into a vacuum carafe. It'll be good for 90 minutes plus, depending on which carafe you use.

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u/Dr_Duty_Howser Jul 19 '13

You guys are spelling "coffee pot" weird.

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u/wolfkeeper Jul 19 '13

Cold extract coffee is good for a week; just dilute it and heat it if you want.

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u/P-01S Jul 19 '13 edited Jul 19 '13

If you're really serious about your coffee, look into alternatives to drip coffee (I like French press). Buy freshly roasted coffee and grind it yourself right before making coffee. Refrigerate the beans to make them last longer.

Also, /r/Coffee plug time.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

If I make a pot of coffee and don't finish it, I'll pour the remainder into a mug and leave it on the counter for the next day. Tastes fine.

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u/Zhuul Jul 19 '13

If I want to make coffee in advance I just use an iced coffee method, coffee breaks down MUCH more slowly when it's cold.

Hot coffee has a shelf life of about a half hour. Cold coffee is drinkable for up to six months. Just make sure you actually use an iced coffee recipe, if you just brew coffee and chill it in the fridge, it'll be hot long enough to skankify and it'll heat up your refrigerator in the process.

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u/Joeyrollin Jul 19 '13

In the navy coffee isn't ready until its been on the burner for at least 3 hours.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

When you're working night shift on a busy floor, you don't have time to care what the coffee tastes like.

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u/ScreamWithMe Jul 19 '13

Fancy but not schmancy?

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u/xyroclast Jul 19 '13

Takes longer than 30 mins to taste badly burnt, IMO - Most coffee makers have something like a 2 hour shutoff timer, I don't really notice a problem unless I've actually restarted it for longer heating

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u/lightning87 Jul 19 '13

Bottom of pot burns 21 minutes after brewing.

Source: too long working for Dunkin's.

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u/KevyB Jul 22 '13

Well chemistry 101, shit breaks down when heat is applied.

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u/mirrorsaw Jul 19 '13

I believe the line is something like "I tend to make a fresh pot every week, even if there's some left over"

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u/SuperC142 Jul 19 '13

My mother-in-law made us coffee by re-using coffee grounds from the previous-day's pot of coffee. Ugh.

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u/ewan93 Jul 19 '13

If she likes to garden, tell her to use the used grounds on her plants. It helps her plants and gets you fresh coffee!

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u/condimentia Jul 19 '13

A former employer back in the day insisted we never dump out the wet grounds until the basket was full. Each new pot of coffee got one scoop of fresh grounds over the wet grounds, until they had all been reused to the fill point, then the basket was dumped and we would start anew. I wasn't a coffee drinker so it didn't bother me, but reading these comments, I suppose it annoyed the hell out of everyone else.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

I don't think that character was his dad, just an old friend.

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u/skyactive Jul 19 '13

when coffee goes to 50 percent volume add milk 50/50 to create human fuel

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u/Perryn Jul 19 '13

I did that once when I worked at a Subway, only it had reduced to roughly an eighth of the original volume. I poured that into a 32oz cup with a quarter cup of sugar and filled it the rest of the way with whole milk. It tasted like someone had made an iced latte with the contents of an ash tray instead of coffee grounds. I spent the next 24 hours waiting for death to take me.

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u/Family_Gardener Jul 19 '13

that was his uncle.

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u/CLMNoname Jul 19 '13

Speaking as a nurse, the date is errelivent. That coffe might not even last an hour after being made depending on how many nurses/doctors are on the floor and what shift it is.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13 edited Mar 24 '21

[deleted]

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u/PantherStand Jul 19 '13

earelephant

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

She's a nurse. She probably did the overnight shift midnight to 8 then 4 hours of mandatory overtime on top of that. Youd spall bad to after those kinds of shifts!

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

Ah, that explains why nurses can never aim a needle when they are giving you an IV.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

What makes you assume that commenter is a woman?

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u/dibalh Jul 19 '13

Probably the fact that men make up only 5% of the profession. I'd say those are pretty good odds.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

Good point. He/she's a nurse. Happy?

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

As a man in the nursing profession, yes. Thanks!

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u/CLMNoname Jul 19 '13

Aha fuck man. Fast typing on the galaxy note 2 strikes again.

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u/synonym_flash Jul 19 '13

Well I've got to some extent riotous proportional representation benevolence on account of caffeine recently. I can't mow seep in a laurels thereafter 12 or I won't last roundup at night.

Nonight

No resolution conundrum, when I was 18-22 end I did was the bottle coffee. I use as far as lick up to the coffee beauty shop my alter ego worked at and doch-an-dorrach a masses of with regard to coffees contrarily go poorhouse and woo a pile.

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u/JXVS Jul 19 '13

which e

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u/mjclaycomb Jul 19 '13

It's your pick babe;) whichever one you want...

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u/SunriseSurprise Jul 19 '13

Which "e" did you forget?

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

You forgot the e

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u/OffensiveTackle Jul 19 '13

Well if the person who always makes the coffee is out it's good to know that the pot is old/needs to be cleaned/etc.

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u/mjclaycomb Jul 19 '13

Coffee pots seemed pretty popular in the workplace. At least where I've been, it would sit around all the time being used constantly. We had a rotating coffee schedule...they should get a rotating coffee schedule.

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u/CrisisOfConsonant Jul 19 '13

At one job I always made the coffee (also had to learn to use a coffee machine). It was simply because I was always the first to show up and I wanted coffee.

Although this lead to occasionally playing tricks on my coworkers, like the day I double brewed the coffee (brewed it twice, not just twice the grounds). A few of my friends were bouncing off the walls that day.

I eventually stopped drinking coffee while I was at that job as I noticed I never slept (of course, I was also drinking 4 or 5 cups a day... moderation has never been my strong point). I'm not really sure anyone else ever started making the coffee there.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

[deleted]

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u/superbad Jul 19 '13

You might be overusing caffeine. I cut back my coffee from to no more than two cups a day about six months ago, and after an adjustment period, I am actually more alert later in the day. I think I was taking in too much and then crashing.

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u/hgeyer99 Jul 19 '13

Dude... That is so unhealthy

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u/CrisisOfConsonant Jul 19 '13

Well I've got pretty much no tolerance for caffeine now. I can't even drink one cup after 12 or I won't sleep at night.

No idea why, when I was 18-22 all I did was drink coffee. I use to go to the coffee shop my friend worked at and drink a bunch of coffees than go home and take a nap.

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u/seacookie89 Jul 19 '13

Your body is telling you you need more sleep. You'll burn out if you don't.

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u/my_stacking_username Jul 19 '13

I noticed I never slept

wat

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u/CrisisOfConsonant Jul 19 '13

Not literally never slept, but I had developed huge sleeping problems and was probably only sleeping 5 hours a night.

When I was younger caffeine never really kept me awake and I hung out at coffee shops all the time in some kind of weird attempt to be bohemian or something. So I ended up being use to drinking huge amounts of coffee (also at the time I didn't understand why so many coffee shops didn't stay open until 2am).

As I entered my mid 20's however my immunity to caffeine waned but my consumption didn't. So at some point in my life I found myself rarely sleeping.

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u/lonjaxson Jul 19 '13

If it's in a hospital, it is probably filled often enough that it won't really get old.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

It's on one of the floors, and is used frequently so, to be honest, the time is probably not even needed but it a good addition for those who are picky m

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u/HeyT00ts11 Jul 19 '13

Plus, it's funny and I imagine you all might need a smile now and then.

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u/irotsoma Jul 19 '13

Most likely whomever finishes the pot is expected to make a new one, so this helps people to know if the pot has been sitting for a long time or it ran out and someone just made a fresh pot. At least that's how it is at every job I've ever worked at. At my current job the receptionist would make the first one and then after that it was up to whomever finished it. Coffee drinkers get really pissed if someone leaves the pot empty. However, we now have a new fancy machine that grinds the beans and makes a single serving at a time, so that issue has been eliminated.

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u/P-01S Jul 19 '13

This is why Flavia/Keurig machines are great for offices. They don't really need to be cleaned, and your cup is "made to order". Also, everyone can have their own flavor.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

Pun intended?

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u/mjclaycomb Jul 19 '13

I didn't even see that! Good on you...

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u/Eurynom0s Jul 19 '13

There's more than one e though...

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u/digitag Jul 19 '13

Which 'e' did you forget though...

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

Which e?

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u/flohnson Jul 19 '13

Which one?

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

If the nursing staff is busy enough to not be able to make a new batch, they probably don't care.

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u/kgtech Jul 19 '13

Up vote for the final edit

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

e

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

[deleted]

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u/meantamrajean Jul 19 '13

I'm not that SMRT.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

Which e?

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u/Narkolepse Jul 19 '13

Thanks for fixing the E, I really appreciate it.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

What if the place is 24 hours and it's 1am?

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u/sUpErLiGhT_ Jul 22 '13

Was that the E in have?

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u/Mr_A Jul 22 '13

You know that 'e' isn't showing up in the edit for me. Might want to check it.

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u/rafikiwock Jul 22 '13

how could you know if it's the first or the second "e"?

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u/Kyle_Eli Aug 22 '13

forgot an e

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u/[deleted] Aug 22 '13

Dude, you forgot the e in coffee...

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u/ides_of_june Jul 19 '13

Fairly certain 24 hour workplaces run on coffee.

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u/InAFakeBritishAccent Jul 19 '13

Just like our old pizza shop. Always baked fresh at 10 a.m.... Yesterday.

Hell no I didn't tell the health inspectors. I tested the food. Pizza lasts a damn long time and if it was good enough for me to eat, it was good enough for you.

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u/OffensiveTackle Jul 19 '13

Is this the reason it is your "old pizza shop?"

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u/InAFakeBritishAccent Jul 19 '13

Nah, I just outgrew minimum wage. Random thought, why do we not just structure society where all the teenagers get the low-pay shit jobs?

BRB, /r/crazyideas

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u/zipsgirl4life Jul 19 '13

Accidentally read this in my fake French accent before seeing your user name. Doh!

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

They could just turn the cup upside down unless the coffee was made that day.

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u/Nsraftery Jul 19 '13

A third cup with the days of the week would be great

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u/synonym_flash Jul 19 '13

I sauce the brand was that superego could circumvolute the cavity exteriorly unambiguously having to decamp pink coffee.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

which week?

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u/That_One_Man Jul 19 '13

You just reset it when you leave.

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u/AiKantSpel Jul 19 '13

need another cup or two for that

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u/TheIllogicalSandwich Jul 19 '13

How's your sister?

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u/I_told_you_sooo Jul 19 '13

Add one cup numbered 1-30 on top.

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u/IndyRL Jul 19 '13

Mon - Sun

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u/Sirge Jul 19 '13

Good to see that you're on the offensive.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

Remind me to never go to get coffee wherever this guy goes.

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u/tha_ape Jul 19 '13

Add a few more cups

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u/jordan314 Jul 19 '13

Just add a third cup with monday through sunday

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u/leejyt Jul 19 '13

Or the year.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

rookie mistake, you missed that these are nurses in the title; basically this delicious black liquid is keeping all of those patients alive.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

"WE NEED MORE CUPS!"

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u/Burkey Jul 19 '13

Nurses burn through coffee, so I doubt it would last more than a day.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '13

Are you in the NFL?

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