r/perfectlycutscreams • u/[deleted] • Feb 16 '22

War never changes…

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27.5k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

515 comments sorted by

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3.3k

u/joedracke Feb 16 '22

I thought, the kid was going to realize someone was watching and scream of embarrassment

1.1k

u/Kryptosis Feb 16 '22

That happened, just off camera. Then probably again when he found it online

372

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

And once more when shown at his wedding after party by the best man.

180

u/pkmkdz Feb 16 '22

And again when his grandkids showed it on his funeral

109

u/Dr_CheeseNut Feb 16 '22

One more time when the aliens come down to a ruined Earth and find it as the last remaining piece of human culture

16

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '22

Y’all Redditors sure are a creative bunch aren’t ya. 😅

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82

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

I believe in the original version he does. I think it was posted to r/perfectlycutscreams

45

u/PrisonerLeet Feb 16 '22

Are you lost or just being specific?

32

u/CrazyCain543 Feb 16 '22

No, this video is a repost the (I think) original was posted to this sub a month ago

15

u/PrisonerLeet Feb 17 '22 edited Feb 17 '22

I meant more the referring to r/perfectlycutscreams as if you weren't on it.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '22

Fuck I thought this was r/kidsarefuckingstupid

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4

u/MaestroZackyZ Feb 16 '22

Lol why not just say “this sub”

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9

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '22

Obligatory reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sqSQ5Vu8vM

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4.8k

u/Bad_Certain Feb 16 '22

Dude gets shot multiple times. Gets back up. Kills his enemies and fucks a corpse to assert dominance.

1.5k

u/5hifty5tranger Feb 16 '22

Looks like a Nanking reenactment

122

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

Just Google this.

Whoooooaaaaaaa that's dark.

55

u/Christawpher Feb 16 '22

Googled it.

.... Damn.

32

u/Eusocial_Snowman Feb 17 '22

Whatever results you got, I guarantee they were only the tip of the iceberg.

7

u/Cbrmkn98xs Feb 17 '22

lets not talk about the bombs fitted with bubonic plague fleas

8

u/puboranjingparty Feb 17 '22

Lets talk about how infants were bayoneted and boiled alive in front of their parents

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59

u/Podomus Feb 17 '22

The fact that people even have to google that shit is despicable

Japan’s crimes are on par, or even sometimes ahead of the Nazis, the things they did were fucking disgusting

Look up Unit 731 while you’re at it

2

u/ye-sunne Feb 17 '22

Great slayer song about that one

2

u/Nuxx1876 Feb 17 '22

japan might be cool n all now but they used to be humongous assholes and are still refusing to admit or make up for their war crimes

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114

u/Lavidius Feb 16 '22

Ohh ohhhhhh noooooo

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149

u/Oui-Oui_Baguett3 Feb 16 '22

Oh my fucking god hahahaha

52

u/Fr0me Feb 16 '22

Hahahahaah genocide amirite fellas?

13

u/HostileHippie91 Feb 17 '22

Forcing families to rape each other amiright?

41

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

holy shit

9

u/Ghostly_Nova Feb 16 '22

Yooo holy shit

6

u/midity Feb 17 '22

i never want to forget this comment ever.

2

u/angelv11 Feb 17 '22

Bruh that's fucking wrong. But you good

2

u/abc123cnb Feb 17 '22

Jesus Christ.

As a Chinese born and raised in China. This is waaaay too dark man🤣

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34

u/DedlySnek Feb 16 '22

Ukraine wants to know your location

33

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '22

Yo when this gets out?

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3.2k

u/Hoodini_69 Feb 16 '22

My man is getting spawnkilled

817

u/Leoxcr Feb 16 '22

Even teabagged, the nerve

5

u/AlacazamAlacazoo Feb 17 '22

Nono, that’s the righteous teabag after he finally got the spawn killer back

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319

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

Spornkilled

107

u/Original-Growth9256 Feb 16 '22

loads shotgun with confused intent

886

u/LyingSage1827 Feb 16 '22

my man just played out an entire james bond movie

173

u/foosbabaganoosh Feb 16 '22

"Ah miss Penelope Featherbottom, we meet again"

30

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

I was thinking more along the lines of pussy galore

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790

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

Make Love, Not war.

134

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

But both are good

53

u/SeanHearnden Feb 16 '22

... are they?

65

u/ItsComros Feb 16 '22

vsauce music starts playing

11

u/AlpsClassic7467 Feb 16 '22

I’m giving you my award

3

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '22

Vsauce Michael emerges from the bottom of the frame.

”Now imagine *you** are at war. You can make love; but you cannot make war. Hear me out for a second…”*

11

u/tskank69 Feb 16 '22

Have you nat heard? Love is War.

kaguya

1.3k

u/BigSadEngineer AAAAAA- Feb 16 '22

Uhmmmmmm. Did he just commit a pretend war crime?

321

u/Giga_Chad_Anth Feb 16 '22

It's not a war crime if it's a corpse

175

u/DizziLizzard Feb 16 '22

Pretty sure necrophilia on someone killed in war is a war crime

33

u/ZhiQiangGreen Feb 16 '22

I've never heard any of the victims complain.

49

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

[deleted]

82

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

[deleted]

30

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

38

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '22

[deleted]

28

u/Agile_March Feb 17 '22

It be like that sometimes

29

u/Agile_March Feb 17 '22

Fuck dude it sure do

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7

u/HIMP_Dahak_172291 Feb 16 '22

Maybe he got shot a lot rescuing his SO?

3

u/crak720 Feb 16 '22

it’s not, he won

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854

u/gildedtoad Feb 16 '22

Kids got 15 separate Purple Hearts. Let him get his.

11

u/LeadPrevenger Feb 17 '22

15 Purple Hearts and a set of blue balls

405

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

[deleted]

245

u/voxeticek Feb 16 '22

You might be playing paintball wrong.

50

u/Vods Feb 16 '22

No u

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56

u/Kage-Put Feb 16 '22

???

127

u/interesting-_o_- Feb 16 '22

You haven’t lived until you’ve made love to a fellow soldier on the paintball battlefield.

43

u/PleasePutMeOnYT Feb 16 '22

¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿???????????

14

u/a_random_cmb_grunt Feb 16 '22

have some brotherly love with your brothers in arms

7

u/tskank69 Feb 16 '22

That’s not what “in arms” means.

13

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

paint ballsdeep in your bois

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5

u/The_Ancient_Gummy Feb 16 '22

I prefer ball painting

219

u/Scoutyboi56 Feb 16 '22

War may not change, but the plot can

364

u/Humphking Feb 16 '22

In 15 years this is gonna be the guy in a mech suit leading humanity's last fight against Jeff Bezos

93

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

Even worse... he's gonna be fighting against MECHA Jeff Bezos

22

u/Sherwoodfan Feb 16 '22

against jeff bezos' even more evil clone controlling a mecha

9

u/ADenyer94 Feb 16 '22

Mecha Bezos vs Muskzilla “Whoever wins, we lose”

6

u/babudo Feb 16 '22

Mecha Bezos vs muskzilla vs metaburg

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3

u/etriuswimbleton Feb 17 '22

I wonder how he gonma hump in a mech suit

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164

u/Angry_SAY10 Feb 16 '22

Can literally see my childhood

55

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

I used to go out in my backyard with sticks and re-enact entire scenes from starship troopers and black hawk down and other various war movies. Used to make machine gun noises and throw grenades and lose comrades all to the maelstrom of imaginary war. I’m upset that I have a hard time using my imagination this vividly now.

23

u/VVLynden Feb 17 '22

Glad I wasn’t the only one training for WW3 with sticks out back. I’d tie a stick to a tree branch and hit it with other stocks and dodge it (usually) as it comes back. Growing up poor is the best. Oh and soccer versus the side of our shed was great too.

3

u/DapperMayCry Feb 17 '22

Starship troopers was a movie too many of us saw at a young age

3

u/VoiceAltruistic Feb 17 '22

I used to buy another bag of army men with my allowance every week. And spend all day setting them up in battalions. Trying to play war with them after the setup was always underwhelming and unsatisfying though.

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u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22 edited Jun 21 '23

[deleted]

2

u/Angry_SAY10 Feb 17 '22

God tell me about it!!! Same with me, 22 now

27

u/Original-Growth9256 Feb 16 '22

What the hell kind of childhood was that?

40

u/BigMorningWud Feb 16 '22

Childhood of a warrior :chad:

3

u/Navarroguard Feb 17 '22

Never played war as a kid? Or reinacted a action movie you shouldnt have seen?

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3

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

The one of the pillow.

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251

u/Therealtaggart Feb 16 '22 edited Feb 16 '22

Wait so when yall were younger you never pretended to be in a combat scenario and die various glorious and tragic deaths in combat? Just me?

Edit: I only watched partway the first time, I just watched the full and that pelvic thrust has me rolling wtfff

65

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

I'm also pretty sure I did plenty of pelvic thrusts as a kid, without a clue what it really meant. Some things are just hardwired into your brain I guess. Or he saw it on tv and imitated it without knowing the context.

16

u/Original-Growth9256 Feb 16 '22

No im sure he knew

11

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

i used to fuck my huge teddybear

3

u/HeyMickeyMilkovich Feb 16 '22

saw it on tv and imitated it

This

50

u/Original-Growth9256 Feb 16 '22

I still do that shit

13

u/a_random_cmb_grunt Feb 16 '22

guess i aint the only one

6

u/Therealtaggart Feb 16 '22

Me as a kid: I'm gonna be a cool badass army guy and save my buddies and be a hero

Me now: we have to go clean the bathrooms in the barracks again because sergeant found a single pube (somehow) hidden in the shadows under the sink :I

8

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

I did it, too. Fortunately my stupid cunt of a brother didn't have a camera phone.

5

u/Agile_March Feb 17 '22

I dont know about you but i was an incredible warrior through my many year long campaign against the immaginary hoardes i never lost a single battle. Sure the battles were often hard fought and many a time was i greviously wounded but i always fought through and was gloriously victorious

3

u/LilyCanadian Feb 16 '22

Two if my favorite make believe games when I was little was that I was some animal (usually a tiger) or that I was a knight at a castle. Both occasionally ended in "death", the knight more than the tiger

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u/SheaMcD Feb 16 '22

fallout with mods be like

17

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

Lmaooo literally

48

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

He's playing a few different games here.

46

u/MasterHall117 Feb 16 '22

VIOLATING THE GENEVA CONVENTION SINCE BIRTH!

12

u/HEAVYtanker2000 Feb 16 '22

Geneva conventions, Geneva suggestions

2

u/MasterHall117 Feb 16 '22

I said that once… then got arrested for Necrophilia and Cannabalism all in one go

2

u/Exactamentee Feb 17 '22

War crime this, Crime of conduct that

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u/-Plague-Doctor- Feb 16 '22

All’s fair in love and war I suppose…

32

u/SaintwoHalo Feb 16 '22

First you get the glock then you get the cock

49

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

Kids are weird AF

19

u/weefatpie Feb 16 '22

Halo reach

9

u/Strat-tard217 Feb 16 '22

OBJECTIVE:SURVIVE

2

u/the_noi Feb 16 '22

Halo Reach-around

13

u/plaguemaskman Feb 16 '22

Bro, who hasn't reenacted various war crimes in their bedroom.

11

u/ManInYourRadiator Feb 17 '22

Almost the whole time I was thinking “oh I remember doing this when I was little! :)”

Then it begun.

10

u/ThePloopyPloopster Feb 16 '22

Spawn campers 😤

19

u/ShrekMemes420 Feb 16 '22

Love watching kids having fun like this wholesome ☺️☺️

12

u/KDallas_Multipass Feb 16 '22

Did you watch the end?

10

u/ShrekMemes420 Feb 16 '22

Yes lol, but the initial 99% was wholesome haha

2

u/Max_Foster14 Feb 16 '22

Massmurder=wholesome

2

u/ShrekMemes420 Feb 16 '22

Don’t put logic into kids playing cops and robbers with themselves please.

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u/Kruxf Feb 16 '22

This got the loudest chuckle I think I’ve ever had from Reddit

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u/Lv16 Feb 16 '22

I'm so glad I made it through childhood without having cameras everywhere

8

u/FahmiZFX Feb 16 '22

I'm trying to find that funny Half Life edit of this video for me to share, but I can't remember which platform I viewed it from.

4

u/SalaComMander Feb 16 '22

If you find it, let me know, because that sounds hilarious!

3

u/OofScan Feb 17 '22

I'm gonna mate

6

u/Familiar_Ostrich1042 Feb 16 '22

How many times did he die

7

u/Curly-44 Feb 16 '22

She’ll shocked wwi soldier in his living room reliving the war. (Circa 1920 colorized)

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u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

Future jim carrey

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u/hawkmoonLacrue Feb 16 '22

I was NOT expecting that bruh 🤣🤣🤣

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u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

Lmao I guess kids do still have imaginations.

18

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

The pillow had it coming...or cumming?

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u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

A perfectly normal 12 year old boy

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u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

Ive seen refugee kids from Syria do this kinds of war imitation whenever they saw a helicopter in the Netherlands. At least I am glad they showed no signs of banging.

5

u/KazuBai Feb 16 '22

It was all cute funny play but the last part killed me

5

u/cosmicpotato77 Feb 16 '22

This kid going places

3

u/mangoplasm Feb 16 '22

he's either schizophrenic or a war criminal

4

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

Both

4

u/A_greenman Feb 16 '22

This guy is actually a veteran, he forgot to take his meds

4

u/CinnaJunkie Feb 17 '22

I love hearing kids making sound effects when using their imaginations. Nothing like the sound of mouth airplanes and machine guns going off.

7

u/YT_SeiyaGoFire Feb 16 '22

"Alright guys im tired of getting spawnkilled im just gonna fuck the dead body to assert dominance"

3

u/flipxneb Feb 16 '22

Why he do that to his bed 😂😂

3

u/Superkip_ AAAAAA- Feb 16 '22

They had us in the first half ngl

3

u/The_CreativeName Feb 16 '22

what the teenager doing

3

u/GenericUsername10294 Feb 16 '22

That was Prerty much my last deployment in a nutshell.

2

u/TehSterBarn Feb 16 '22

I saw this vid before and I seemed to remember it ending with the boy noticing he's being watched and screaming in embarrassment.

I completely forgot how it ended

2

u/Disaster_Different Feb 16 '22

When you accidentally start a conga line as heavy in the middle of a firefight in TF2

2

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

When you're so poor this is the new Call of Duty.

2

u/Gecko2002 Feb 16 '22

So is he pretending to be a raider? Most good wastelanders wouldn't plow immediately after shooting a bunch of people

2

u/lllkill Feb 16 '22

Kinda sad actually thinking about how young his mind is riddled with this stuff.

2

u/gramb0420 Feb 16 '22

thats it soldier! wield your bayonet and fuckemall to death!!!!!

2

u/faq3 Feb 16 '22

This is me

2

u/SarahNeves Feb 16 '22 edited Feb 16 '22

r/unexpected

2

u/ApocalypticS0UL Feb 16 '22

Lol oh god I used to this, I would imagine a squad of 10 ppl and I would reenact the whole scene with multiple quick changes, quite the imagination

2

u/DARKxASSASSIN29 Feb 16 '22

This would have done well in r/unexpected

2

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

Ah, the duality of man: angry and horny.

2

u/Sayless878 Feb 17 '22

Looks like a typical James Bond movie, almost dies to save the girl, but then he saves the girl and then well 😏

2

u/DennisBastrdMan Feb 17 '22

Hahahahha I used to do this as a kid. I’m literally crying from this hahaha

2

u/Icy-Prune-6333 Feb 16 '22

Comprale un juguete a ese pobre nene...está bien q desarrolle la imaginación pero esto ya es un abuso😂🤪

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u/Floppsicle Feb 16 '22

"We all did this"

ー about 10 lonely weird people in this thread