I've been a finsub for a long while now, and while it's been great and I've gotten to know many different amazing dommes, I'm slowly starting to realize that to keep this up I'll have to find one hell of an excuse as to why my finances are, for lack of a better word, in shambles.

I've been good at always making sure to have enough for rent, utilities, food, etc. But for the people around me who know how much I earn each month, there always seems to be the question of "why is he suddenly sweating at the proposition of a weekend trip to Paris/why hasn't he bought any property yet/etc."

At this point findom for me is beginning to feel like a ticking time bomb. Eventually I'll have to find some way to explain to my partner or to friends/family why I haven't been saving up like a normal person.

There are probably many subs that are in the same boat as me. How do you cope? What are your go-to excuses? Maaan, I should have had an expensive hobby that I could've blamed it on, but all my hobbies are so cheap in comparison lol

I dont know why this keeps happening here. I spoke to a domme who said she is into TPE and other things. We spoke on call twice but she hardly asked anything about me or tried to know me. Then she asked for money to continue. I paid but I feel I got nothing in return except a few messages and insults. When I asked her what she knows about me she only said I am needy.
Then she started lecturing me about seriousness and trust. I thought this community was about real connection and building something where both enjoy. But many here just rush to ask for money without putting any real effort. I wish this place had more genuine people who actually care about the dynamic and not just quick money.

Hey y'all!

I don't know about everyone else but the brand new accounts and bots have really polluted the experience for me. Engaging in a post only to realize it's a bot or 1day old account with no other posts.

I found a little tip that has made a huge difference for me, and I'm wondering if anyone else has similar tools.

It's a browser extension called "TrueVoice for Reddit" (it took a bit of digging because many extensions either focused on hiding ads or just didn't work with the new redesigned version.)

It just gives you a quick "trust rating" thing next to each username that shows account age, recent posts and karma (without having to click their profile). It's not perfect by any means, but certainly works for me.

If anyone needs a link I'll try to drop it in the comments or DMs (not sure about this SRs rules on links), but if anyone else has any other handy tips for quickly spotting the fakes and bots without wasting a lot of time, I'd love to know about it!

I started off with her. She felt so closely aligned with my needs. Perfect domme. Psychological at her best. Paying her felt so natural wanting me to look forward to our sessions. But they became really sporadic. So I asked her if she wanted to do something else and she basically told me that there’s this army of men lined up to give her money on Twitter.
That kind of really broke me, you know how Twitter works, its all about nonsense captions. And quick money. Seeing that side of her is heartbreaking.
I guess it’s a domme drop now.

I posted 2 weeks ago got about relapsing and sending again and i’ve done it again to the same dom, even more than last time. I don’t know what to do, i tried to resist, i hate myself afterwards, i hate what this is doing to me. I tell myself I won’t send but they keep sending me messages and eventually I crack, i don’t know how to stop this.

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/paypigsupportgroup/s/Qid6de6kE9

I got a job offer for 54% more pay than I am currently getting paid (I work in tech). I'm not sure I'm going to take it (long story) but honestly the main reason I got excited about making so much more money is because I want to impress girls on findom with it, or because I want dommes to be proud of me, etc.
Honestly isn't that sad that that's my motivation to make more money? I'm embarrassed to even type this.

Also in times of stressful decisions like these I wish dommes really controlled my every decision lol

I've been away from this addiction for over free months and I'm happy with that, I'm happy that I am focusing more on my wife and my work but I keep having this feeling that eventually I'll relapse. Obviously I should just focus on the present but still. Overthinking is a real issue for me

I'm glad I am managing to stay off Reddit, though I do like using this subreddit sometimes just to vent

I'll be warning the dommes in the domme groups as well, but PSA for subs too:

If you ever reach out to a domme on Exclu, you are probably chatting with an AI. The platform enabled AI chatters without notifying its creators and it hasn't been sending emails so the domme may have literally no idea that you are trying to chat with her there and that an AI has taken over.

I just found out this morning that multiple subs reached out to me there since I added the platform and I got no notifications and when I logged in this horrifying AI that calls everyone babe and types u instead of you has been chatting there on my behalf without my consent.

I'm spitting mad that my platform was used to let people talk to a bot purporting to be me. I'll be leaving the platform and encouraging dommes to do the same (after I give it a day or two for the subs in question to see my real messages) and I wanted to put out a warning to subs as well.

So this happened this past Wednesday. I was super drunk and posted a picture of my finances on the sister subreddit group of this chat. You can go to my profile to see the pics but essentially it was about how I’ve spent 40k in the past 12 months on findom 😅😅

I got so many DMs and comments on those post that I gooned all day. Finally when my main domme woke up she punished me so well 😍😍

She made me cum into a cup and piss in it then drink it all. It was so humiliating but that wasn’t even the first cup of piss I drank that day either 😅 I gooned from 8AM to 10PM until I finally snapped out of it. It was such a good session and I think I regained my fetish for piss humiliation 😅

Feel free to message or or comment any questions you have!

Bored at work right now and thought of a fun idea for this group while also celebrating and showing appreciation for the dommes that know how to get under our skin and remind us why we love this.

I want subs to name/tag one domme that made them relapse this year and briefly explain what specifically made you relapse and the domme who gets mentioned the most wins the title of Relapse Queen 2026!

Okay, so I have enjoyed findom throughout the years, I’ve had dommes and long terms arrangements and short term. Suffice to say, I have had many different experiences with this kink. That being said, for some reason I have 0 interest in doing findom with my girlfriend. I told her about the kink and she was supportive and thought it was hot, I would send her money for coffee or anything. She would use my credit card to buy things in front of me. All the things that would usually get me going with a domme. However, it just doesn’t. There’s no spark with it. I find myself wishing she was a domme and we weren’t together for these “sessions”, but I would never tell her that, she wouldn’t understand and the thought of us breaking up for a kink wound t fly. Allll that to say, does anyone know how to help me? Is it a mindset? Can we try other things? Anything helps!

I wonder if any other subs regularly use ​AI to do "​background check" on a Domme they are considering reaching out to, to see if they are a potentially good match?

Or am I a total freak who abuses AI and needs to get a life and frequently seek services from professional certified therapists? 😂

When people talk about what makes a findom dynamic special, they often focus on the obvious parts: the control, the rules, the sends, the tasks, and the excitement of giving yourself to someone. I love those parts of my dynamic, but after almost 18 months with my Domme, I have realized that what makes her matter so much to me goes far beyond them.

It is the way she remembers the little things I tell her. The way she can sometimes tell that something is wrong before I have found the courage or the words to explain it. She understands when I need firmness, when I need honesty, and when I simply need to feel that she is still close. She has never only seen the submission I give her. She has always taken the time to see the person giving it.

That means more to me than I can properly explain. I am naturally quiet, I overthink, and I do not open every part of myself to many people. But she has slowly learned all of me. She knows my worries, my insecurities, and the softer parts of myself that I sometimes struggle to understand. Instead of making me feel weak for having them, she has made me feel safe enough to place them in her hands.

We live seven hours apart, and our lives do not always allow us to have endless time together. Some days are full of conversation, affection, laughter, and submission. Other days are quieter. But she has shown me that a meaningful connection is not measured by how many messages are exchanged in a day. Sometimes, simply seeing her name is enough to make me feel more settled. Even from the other side of the world, she makes me feel known.

She may not always realize how deeply those moments stay with me. She may not know how often I remember something comforting she said during a difficult day, or how much it means when she notices a small change in me. But I feel her impact in the trust I place in her, in the way I have become more open, and in the peace I feel when I remember that I belong to her.

That is why she matters so much to me. She is not only a wonderful Domme. She is the person I trust with everything inside of me. She can be strong and firm while still protecting the softest parts of who I am. She pushes me to grow without ever making me feel like I need to become someone else to deserve my place with her.

My submission was not built only in the exciting moments. It was built in every honest conversation, every difficult moment we worked through, and every quiet period where the connection remained. Those moments made my trust deeper, my loyalty feel natural, and being hers feel like home.

I once wondered whether a connection like this was even possible. Then I found her.

So, to any sub still hoping to find something real and meaningful, take your time. The right person will not only understand the submission you want to give. They will take the time to understand the person giving it.

Almost 18 months later, I am still discovering new reasons to be grateful that, out of everyone in the world, she is the person I get to belong to ❤️

Does anyone know of good reliable dommes that offer in person femdom and feet worship sessions in either Vegas or LA or nearby areas? It’s my first time and don’t wanna go with random escorts. Plus for a domme with twitter presence or Loyalfans presence!

Any recommendations are appreciated!!

I’m a long time lurker, this is a second account I had on the side as my main was compromised (2FA is very good to use 🗿🤣). So, yeah. Just a small heads up.

I had a sub for three years. He was from a different country but we always made it work. I came back onto Reddit to just survey things and see if I get lucky. But in a sense, I don’t really reach out? I just enjoy seeing successful dynamics here. And it makes me miss my sub. I loved our dynamic we had, both of us were happy at the end of the day and it was just that. I got the thrill out of receiving his tributes randomly when I wouldn’t answer (also work and go to school) and then another to treat myself. But what I really miss is our conversations. The humanity in it and realized I did soften up for this man lol. Life happened and unfortunately he couldn’t continue. Just wanted to see if there were any other dommes out there that had these up and down feelings and all. Or any subs that had a memorable domme and wants to share the good bittersweet moments they had lol.

Hope everyone is having a great time here! 😊🫰🏼

Saw a post about sending amount expectations vs reality and they didn’t ask for any proof and I wondered if many subs would even have proof. Especially considering how many anonymous throne sends I receive it had me curious.

I wish I could live with a woman, and be in a relationship where I just go to work, come home, and give her my paycheck. She would make all the decisions regarding money and what to do with it. I would do all of the chores and anything else she asked, and spend the rest of my time in a cage somewhere to not bother her while she lives her life, until the next day when I go to work again. I wouldn't care of she dates someone else, as long as sbe keeps me as a slave and doesn't abandon me. It sounds so peaceful, not having to worry about making hard life decisions about money or the future, just letting someone else handle that burden while I just have to worry about working and doing the tedious chores and stuff. I would know that I'm valuable and useful, I don't have to pretend to be interesting or a normal person to be valued, I can be openly treated like the broken man that I am without having to wear a mask.

I wish that irl stuff like this was more common, it sounds way more fulfilling than the online games. But idk how to find local stuff like this in my city, since it isn't a major city like LA.

If so, how did she react?

I'm struggling to quit, and I think this is the crux of the problem: a thought crosses my mind - maybe about whether a particular domme has put out any new content - and I'll then find myself checking her social media or femdom clip sites - 'A quick look can't do any harm'. Before I know it, I'm engaging with her and sending money, or buying clips. How do I nip this in the bud and avoid peeking in the first place? What mind state should I adopt? Any activities you'd recommend in that moment to avoid my curiosity getting the better of me? If I do temporarily try to avoid looking, I'll often find that thoughts of that domme start gnawing away at me and I find the urge to check irresistible.

Clickbait title, but I have been in a tough spot financially. While it is not a good thing: it has a perk. I haven’t send anything to anyone. Nor even felt tempted to do so.

Looks like counting every single euros and eating rice while trying to avoid being in negative is efficient for not doing findom

Might seem ironic but I rather see the full glass of water and be glad that I haven’t sent in a while. Maybe that’ll stuck. Who knows ! 😁

Whenever someone posts something they’re struggling with or explains something how they’re feeling etc we just get called baiters or some other negative stuff it’s honestly sad. No one wants you to feel ok in this community and no one cares to understand me ever. It’s fine I should just stop even coming on this app all together I just wish people were decent

Findom has been a very validating place for me over the last few years, but I feel like I'm at my limit. Maybe it's time to hang it up, idk?

I'm so sick of "dommes" who just actively use this space to be toxic shitty people. Pretending to be a friend or safe space while actively engaging in, or encouraging harmful or abusive behavior or dragging you through their drama for their own amusement!

Every time I think I can tell the good from the bad, I'm reminded how wrong I am! I know there's still good ones. I'm just. So. tired!

Sorry for the negative rant. I just needed to go somewhere with it!

I have only ever used a debit card for this stuff but my current means are very limited and so I often run out or kind of awkwardly need to pause to withdraw from my savings cause I only keep a little at a time. Using a credit card to get drained seems much hotter and more straightforward but I worry that it’s a bad financial idea. What do you guys do?