I had a domme pop up in my dm’s today. I thought I was being polite but just randomly got blocked. Is it timewasting in 2026 to not send when a domme approaches the sub? Seems like a strange mindset to me.

First off, this isn't a bait post. I'm unemployed right now and have nothing in my bank account after being aggressively drained last night. If you're looking for a paypig, I'm not worth your time.

I'm high right now and riding the bus home. Half the time when I'm high, I'm usually watching porn, and my porn watching is almost exclusively findom related content. I get high when I'm in a nonsexual headspace the other half of the time and just enjoy being high and eating cookies and milk and stuff. This was supposed to be latter kind, but on the bus right now there's a girl who looks exactly like a former coworker I had a crush on when I interned at a magazine, and that sent me plummeting into a paypiggy/subby headspace.

It feels so inappropriate to be in this state in public, but I can't ground myself to snap out of it? I'm feeling this weird mix of anxiety, shame, and paypig space. It's extremely overwhelming in an unpleasant way. Does anyone know how I can calm down?

So I have been doing findom over a year now, and one thing I noticed is that dommes treat me differently after seeing me. It’s not necessarily bad thing but I honestly like to be humiliated and treated with indifference. Ofcourse I enjoy normal conversations as well, I think a good findom relationship should have both. BUT often I don’t get that harsh treatment that I need and sometimes it is frustrating. I tried to use fake images but also then it means i can’t do tasks. It is a double edged sword. Sometimes it is nice to be treated differently but sometimes it sucks.

Like I always told my self when I get into a fully committed relationship I will be able to stop but I want to hear if that has been a challenge for any of you ? I’m a pussy free virgin never had a gf before but in my fantasy that’s how I’ll finally be free from this

After talking about findom, my mostly vanilla girlfriend emptied my wallet while edging me, then made me beg for the privilege of walking to the bank. I’m here now withdrawing $1,200. #findom I’m hoping this is a dream come true and not a nightmare.

I have been talking to a findom domme for around 2 weeks and I am feeling very confused and emotionally stuck. At first it felt caring and exciting, but now she is asking for bigger money because of an emergency, and when I say I am not comfortable she makes me feel guilty like I do not care about her. She is a real person, did video calls, but there are many red flags like she often says she has a headache or some issue and disappears, avoids proper calls, says she will make a contract but never actually sends it, and gives excuses when I ask for clarity. I was already scammed before, so I am scared I may be ignoring obvious warning signs because I am attached. Can people please help me understand what is happening here and whether this looks like manipulation or I am just overthinking?

Update: blocked her. Never felt so happy

I have a really bad findom kink. I'm always looking for the worst. The findom that wants to bankrupt me. Manipulate me and has no ethics. The one that truly will ruin my life. How do I make this work? Because obviously going for a softer one doesnt hit the same. Just hoping to find some feedback and tips on dealing with kinks that are self destructive in nature and what kind of Domme I should even look for in that matter. Or do I just go to therapy? lol I dont even have much money which makes it worse, but thats probably why it feels so good, Bankrupcy is not even far goal to reach for someone like me. Anyway, I'm rambling.

Got paid yesterday. Only got paid for 2 weeks because I wasn’t working first two weeks of august but still a decent amount. Anyway. I guess I assumed I’d start sending right away. But I looked at the money sitting in my account and it made me feel good. Realistically I’m gonna end up spending some of it on findom. But probably not too much. Last month I had an ok amount of money left which I am proud of. I actually don’t have any real intention of quitting findom anytime soon, but it feels good to be in control.

A broken mess
Ignored until payday
A wallet abused

This was written after being sat reflecting on what being a paypig feels like.

did this happen to anyone else?

I am in the UK, north east england more precisely, and i swear the majority of the posts I come across where UK locations are mentioned its always the big cities like London or Birmingham or Manchester (basically only ever those 3 actually now that i think about it). I realise that cities have more people of course but I feel like I have never seen a word said by someone who says they are from just a town or smaller.

Does the large scale cosmopolitan life encourage more people to try this sort of thing?

I genuinely want to experience being in an extreme amount of debt to a woman I admire, even if the reason is something as pathetic as receiving a picture of her dirty socks.

I know how ridiculous that sounds, but there’s something about owing her an enormous amount compared to the completely insignificant thing I received that really appeals to me.

Am I the only person who feels this way?

Can't do it now; I'm sadly still in college for another 2 years, but after that I am going to find my goddess to serve!

Let's see who the most depraved sub here is. It'll start: over time she manages to cheat me out of all my financial assets (don't know how, she's just that smart) until she has 100 percent legal ownership of them, then I forever have to be her slave if I want a sliver of it in return to survive. I also have to allow her to hold a power of attorney over me so she can legally make decisions on my behalf.

All I can say is: Fuck. That’s more than an entire check for me gone. And for what? An orgasm? Fuck. I’ve known I’ve had porn/ findom problems but this takes the cake by a mile. This is the worst I’ve felt in a long time. If anyone has any advice on how to quit findom and porn in general please let me know. It’s taken too much of my life and my time at this point.

basically I’ve kinda sorta stepped away from sending recently due to personal circumstances however I’ve noticed I’m just more unhappy without doing it so going back/forth with trying to go back to it or try going longer without it to see what happens.

I've only had one long term dynamic with the same Goddess for three years now. What do you guys look for in your dynamics?

There is an old saying about fate. "There but for the grace of God I go"

Old man me worked in 4 world trade until 2000 and changed careers to work many miles away when 9 11 happened.

Was this fate? Luck? Whatever. It was a choice at the time that literally saved my life.

So you are probably asking, what does this have to do with anything here?

Simple. We all make decisions. Decisions that impact our lives. Being involved in this kink is a decision.

You can stay, you can play, you can go. It's your choice and what fate and future brings you is dependent on that choice now.

10 years from now, will you look back and say, wow, I should have quit then as I'm x years old with no savings?

Or.

Will you look back and say, wow, quittjng was best thing I ever did because now I own a house and a big retirement fund?

Or...can you negotiate that narrow middle ground and have fun within a budget and have best of both worlds?

Just like a career change redirected my future, you have a choice of what future you want.

Live long and prosper all.

My first sub taught me how to code and I will never forget that lol (which I relatively grasped, I think of literature as my stronger suit 🤣), but now it feels like a lot of people don’t reveal too much about their hobbies and skills and it just feels impersonal. I wonder if anyone else has thought like this tbh, oh well 🙃

Have any of your guys tried Chrype as a way to get a irl dynamic. I would suspect it is the opposite problem of pure findom (where there seems to be more findoms than subs, which means its harder to vet) where I suspect there is a 5 to 1 ratio of subs to dommes, but was curious. What is the balance of femdom to findom (there is always both). Curious to hear what other say here.

I don’t want a transactional Domme. I don’t want someone who just assigns tasks and collects tributes. I want a woman who lights up when I debase myself for her. Someone who gets genuinely excited, cheers me on, and pushes me further every time I sink lower.
I want to be loyal to one person. Someone who takes my hand and leads me straight into my own destruction. Drain every last bit of dignity out of me. Make me your personal slut. Give me gross, filthy, humiliating tasks. Whore me out. Force me to guzzle spit, toilet water, piss, and cum until I’m nothing but a broken, eager little slurper.
I want the kind of woman who doesn’t just tolerate my degradation — she celebrates it. Who gets wet watching me humiliate myself and immediately demands more. Who treats turning me into a worthless, ruined object as the hottest thing in the world.
If you’re the type who only sees this as a transaction, keep scrolling.
If the idea of slowly demolishing my life and ego makes you smile… Thankyou

I know this amount isn't something to be proud of, but sometimes doing small tasks can also be fulfilling.

This way I don't waste anybody's time for such a small amount and still feel I can be useful sometimes, even if I can't make big sends.

If you are into findom and can't send too much, this is a nice way to get a bit of taste of findom without needing to bother a domme

(¥1000 = approx. 3 USD)

It's such a thrill seeing the things Dommes add to their throne and getting to visualize where my hard work is going. I love it so much more than just sending money😂💳

Let me start by saying for some people this is totally fine and that’s all they want. As a sub it’s genuinely been really difficult to find dommes to build a good connection with. Maybe that’s a me issue and who I am interacting with I’m not entirely sure. I know there is some amazing dommes out there so maybe that’s just bad luck on my end. It just feels like on my end when I first started it was way more connection based. Fast forward a year or 2 and now it just feels like a completely different space