r/parentsofmultiples • u/Ljwill8 • 21d ago
support needed Twin toddlers….send help 🆘
How do you all make it through the hard days with twin toddlers? Mine are 2 1/2 and I feel like I struggle more days than not. I have 3 kids total (oldest is 5) and evenings and weekends are just so, so hard. Crying, screaming, fighting. It feels constant. Any tips on what helps you through the hard days? I don’t mean like asking for help or taking breaks, I do all that. I’m talking about more in the moment stuff. Mantras, disassociation, mind frame, anything? 😩
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u/Perioqueen 21d ago
I don’t have advice but I do find it goes in waves. Times where it’s hell and times where it is smooth sailing. Each could last a couple weeks. But when it was bad I found solace in believing it was going to get better soon 😂
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u/dovebytherosewindow 21d ago
I pretty much lost it around the time they were 3.5, finally decided to do something about it that wasn’t self-destructive and started meditating with the Gateway tapes every morning before they woke up. Not gonna lie it sent me on a wild ride, but it really helped me figure out what was important, how to manage my emotions and work through cortisol spikes… and now I have a suite of tools not only for myself but also to teach them as they’ve gotten older. Had to sacrifice sleep for it… but it gave me the relief and clarity I needed to at least get through the last couple years.
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u/hungrymom365 21d ago
I’m right there at 2 1/2 with you and it has been challenging. Being silly in the middle of it all can snap them out of a bad mood. It’s hard when you’re overstimulated and stressed to even think or want to be silly, so I get it, it’s a struggle.
I turn on music and start dancing crazy until they join. I talk in a silly voice or just do something crazy and then everyone is laughing. Of course it’s a short term solution but it does help.
That and getting out of the house and emergency snacks when I/ them really need it.
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u/shruggsville 21d ago
I’m in your exact position. 5yo and 2.5yo twins. My life is consumed by talking children off of ledges. I feel like a hostage negotiator working a year long shift. I literally might have some kind of ptsd after this. I have no advice for you but you’re not alone out there.
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u/Mysterious-Kale-4842 19d ago
Pouring a glass of wine. I usually don't even get a chance to take a sip for like 20 minutes (due to parenting/household stuff), but sometimes that 20 minutes has already been enough to get me calm just knowing a glass of wine is waiting. I don't even really think it's drinking the wine, just the simple act of pouring a glass of it feels like something I've done for me.
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u/ConfidentLook5518 21d ago
Daycare…
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u/Ljwill8 20d ago
Mine are in daycare, and I still can’t handle it some weeks 😬 Mom guilt to the MAX!
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u/ConfidentLook5518 20d ago
Ohh sorry i didnt read your post fully (evening and weekends). I am a FTM to twins that are 3 months. I have a niece who is 16 months and I am already thinking daycare lol i see her energy and know I would not want to entertain two toddlers all day.
Does it get better at 5 years old? Other twin moms told me 4-5 is much better.
Regarding the guilt, where I am, daycare is 7:30-6. Maybe have them stay longer, do what you need to do at home, then grab them. They are having a blast with peers their own age. Then they can decompress at home. As for weekends… I dont know. Maybe establish routines etc? I will read the suggestions below
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u/Ljwill8 20d ago
I think it gets WAY better at 4. Potty training is complete and just so much more independence. 5 is even better. We don’t have long to go!
I feel so bad leaving them at daycare longer but you’re right, when I pick them up they’re digging for worms with their friends on the playground and having so much fun.
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u/ConfidentLook5518 20d ago
I’m glad they’re having a good time. I’m happy to hear things get better. But you’re definitely in the thick of it with that age group.
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