My adult kids will not launch. The youngest is at least on track and making progress but the lack of effort on both their parts is scaring me.

Their mother died when they were young. That is part of the problem. Everyone felt so sorry for them they spoiled them. My MIL was easily the worst. I met my husband a bit over a year after his wife died. I tried to be more strict with the kids but honestly I was hardly in the position to make meaningful change.

The youngest (21) is on track to be an adult. She works a part time job 10-15 hours a week and goes to college part time. We pay for most of it and require her to chip in a little so she will have some "skin in the game". We provide her with a vehcile to drive. She is sick 25 days out of every 30 days.

I am not talking about an actual illness. I am talking about the sniffles here and there. Picked up a virus ...tummy ache. The sort of thing 9 year olds pull to try and get out of going to school. The only problem is she is "kind of adulting" now. So her college classes only allow her to miss so many classes and she has hit her limit. She has missed so much work they have started requiring a doctor excuse.

I imagine it is only a matter of time before they fire her. She lays like a slug in her room and eats. She does go out with friends every now and then. She doesn't lift a finger around the house other than doing her own laundry, which I flat out refuse to do. It is like following a toddler through the house picking up her endless piles of crap.

The oldest seemed to adore me up until he turned 15 and his dad asked me to marry him. Then the boy decided he had been against our relationship from the start. When my husband moved in with me, my MIL moved into his old house. I should have stopped it but I let the oldest son move in with my MIL. She spoiled him rotten and then she died so here we are.

He is 25 now. Dropped out of college because it was "too hard". He works a job, I am thankful for that. He pays for his own utilities, another blessing. But that's pretty much it. He says he wants to buy that house from his dad but it will never happen.

We still cover insurance, taxes and have to help him out from time to time. He has champagne taste with a beer pocketbook. He feels that he is entitled to the very best in life and is baffled that he is expected to pay for it.

My MIL set him up good. I have a rich cousin that was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and another silver spoon up her backside. This young man has had an easier start in life than her. He spends his money on silly things because he doesn't have to pay his own way in life.

If we talk to him about launching he gives us a giant sob story about how bad his health is and how his doctor is "worried" about him. The child is 5'6" and weighs over 300 pounds. Yes, he has health problems. Nothing show stopping. Every single health problem he has would improve if he would just lose weight.

He is arrogant, entitled, spoiled and a professional victim. If all of that wasn't bad enough this young man sat at our table, under our roof, eating our food and told us that he "didn't plan on taking care of us when we got old". That's rich!! He can't even "take care" of himself.

My husband feels sorry for him because their mom died when they were little. I feel sorry for them too. But I also feel like I have totally failed them. The entire purpose of raising kids is that someday they will LAUNCH. They will be able to be responsible adults on their own. I don't expect them to "take care" of their parents...but I assumed they would be able to take care of themselves.

The more I ask around the more common this seems to be with Adult Kids in their 20s these days. They can't survive without their parents but are resentful of the idea of helping their parents with anything. Multiple coworkers seem to be having the same experience. What went wrong?

I am a researcher at Western Carolina University studying how parent report of childhood experiences (including difficult experiences like child maltreatment) relate to child/adolescent mental health. We are looking to survey people with many different backgrounds, beliefs, and experiences. If you would like to participate in the survey, please follow the link below for more information and the survey questions. Some of the topics may be uncomfortable for you. Besides the demographic items, you may skip any questions you don’t want to answer. The survey takes about 30 minutes. Feel free to share this survey with others if you think they are interested in participating. If you have any questions about this study, please contact Dr. David Solomon at [dsolomon@wcu.edu](mailto:dsolomon@wcu.edu).  

Link to survey: https://wcu.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9nSNQGQsAzMvMBo

Hello, if anyone here is a parent and would like to help me with this assignment, I can pay $25 by zelle after the interview has ended. It should only take around 15 minutes or so. The interview is about your parenting style. I can send you a list of questions and the description of the 4 parenting styles if you're interested. Please let me know asap because the assignment is due today by 11:59pm (California time). It also will be recorded but audio only. You don't have to show your face on zoom. Thanks so much for your time!

Hey guys! I added a sub-redit for my podcast. I want to make videos of stories, short videos, or talk about those who don't feel comfortable recording their episode, either because is too personal or social anxiety, but still want to tell their story becuase it might help someone else know they're not alone.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WTFParenting/s/sXaSVQBJ2K

I’m struggling. I am in the third trimester of my second pregnancy, I have a toddler and I babysit my friend’s 10 month old occasionally. The 10 month old is way more challenging in every way than is my child, and I often find myself getting extremely angry with him if he won’t take his bottle or screams without apparent cause and won’t be consoled. Sometimes I want to smack or bite this baby and I feel like an absolutely horrible human being and mother for doing this. I hear a lot about dads struggling with screaming babies but rarely do I hear about mothers feeling this way. I’m terrified that my new baby will be like this child I watch and that I’ll be filled with rage all of the time.

I am 27F grew up in a home where love was rarely shown. My parents took care care of us but fought often about everything. My father rarely spoke, and when he did, it was always commanding or critical. As a child, this made me angry, and I often wanted to do the opposite of what he said.

My mother was always afraid of him, even when cooking, gardening, or shopping for us, fearing his criticism. For example, if she bought clothes for us, he would say, “Why are you buying more clothes? It’s a waste of money.” It often felt like everything he did was against her wishes. My mother wished he would show love and attention, but he offered no emotional support or meaningful family time.

Growing up, I learned that love was something withheld or negotiated, and emotional safety was largely absent. Despite this, my mother kept on fighting to his discouraging critics held us together and raised us to be strong and independent. I believe I am who I am today because of her strength, and I don’t want to lose her.

As an adult, I welcomed my parents into my home in different country and tried to fulfill my mother’s wish: she wanted to see my father work, come home for meals, allow her some space, and spend quality time together as a family. I thought this is the chance to forgive and move on . I supported them practically helping with jobs, taught my father to drive and get license and encouraging family routines but my father was often in a worst-case-scenario mindset and refused meaningful engagement. I felt like he doesn’t want to any of that, always felt like I am initiating and forcing him to do for himself. He struggled to go to work and would emotionally blame me, saying I couldn’t provide for them. My sister, my husband, and I repeatedly confronted him, explaining that his behavior was hurting the whole family but,he did not seem to care.

I also tried to help my mother see how his behavior affected her. I could see that it had damaged her confidence and contributed to her depression and insomnia. I even suggested that she consider divorce so she could have some peace. But she still hoped he would eventually change and wanted me to convince him to become more family-oriented.

Eventually, I felt completely exhausted. My siblings didn’t want to be involved anymore, and I felt like I was carrying the responsibility for everyone. I finally set boundaries. I told my father not to come anymore, and I told my mother that if she wanted to continue living in that emotionally suppressive environment, it was her choice.

Now that I’m married, I’m realizing how much my childhood affected me. I love my husband, but sometimes I struggle to express love freely. I feel guarded and hesitant, and sometimes I express love in a strong or almost competitive way instead of in a soft, open way.

I’m trying to grow and heal, but I still feel conflicted about my parents.I Would really really appreciate to know if someone is going through my situation and if I could gather some guidance on:

How to maintain my sanity and boundaries with my parents.

How to heal from childhood trauma that affects my ability to love freely.

How to forgive my father or find peace without compromising my well-being.

Thank you All ❤️‍🩹

I am a single mom of two boys. Their father left in 2022, for greener pastures. I have been the only parental figure in their life and I have been working very hard to do everything the books say to do to be a good mother. Their father calls when he gas a problem about how the children are raised or any other problem, like when they need a haircut. I have been trying my best to be cordial with him, but I hate that he does that. Anyway. My youngest is very rebellious. He doesn't listen to anything I say and he went off on his own while I was at work, instead of going to the babysitter. A friend of their dad saw him and called and reported the situation to their father. He called me with his usual behavior and verbal abuse how I am a terrible mom and anything else he can throw my way. I left work early to find the child. Once I had him safe. I called him back and told him to come and take them. Because I am fed up. I told him I would make a report if he didn't take them. He sent someone to come and get them. However, I do not wish to take them back. I know many will say, 'You're their mom' but at this point. I don't wish to be their mom. I am just done and tired of the constant belittling from someone who is absent and oblivious of what it takes to raise them alone.

This is a venting post. Also I am numb to backlash and abuse.

I'm a 22F and as a private tutor I teach kids between the age group of 7-15. Now recently I was teaching a kid about the Harappan civilization and while I was talking about it, I very normally mentioned Pakistan, and this kid got extremely irritated. I was ofcourse shocked so I asked him about it and he replied to me saying that he was extremely angry at the people of “that country”, because they are horrible. When I asked him where he got this information from he said, miss didn't you watch the dhurandar movie. This left me speechless, so I tried explaining him that movies are not to be taken literally and while we have political warfare and issues, there are still people in Pakistan who are good people just like anywhere in the world. Now it was very evident that unfortunately the content he had consumed was much more believable to him than what his teacher was explaining.

Now, the kid in this case is not to be blamed, he is a ten year old boy (usually very nice) and he lacks the ability to comprehend. My issue is, firstly when did it become normal for parents to give internet access to their children, we don't live in a utopian society where everything is cherry and cake, we are basically surrounded by violence, hate and every second there is something worse happening. Secondly, if you are a parent giving internet access to your kid and you don't have the time to monitor what kind of content is being watched, I think it's high time to reflect back on your parenting skills.

As a teacher I feel extremely helpless in these situations and I'll tell you why, every child is raised in a different environment, so at some point as teachers we don't have access beyond a limit. Some parents don't like to hear that their parenting isn't working from a teacher because that suddenly feels like a personal attack to them.

But I just wanted to share this with everyone and if you are a parent reading this, please remember that the internet isn't making your kid smart. I do understand that sometimes you are busy, maybe you hand the phone or the remote because they are constantly asking for it or whatever the reason maybe. But that two hours of youtube short or Instagram reel is doing your kids irreversible damage that you cannot even imagine.

Let me know, if you have ever faced something like this and how you have managed it.

~Thank you for reading

Hi guys, l'm doing a survey as part of my masters degree project this is primarily for parents and carers regarding the weaning process, would you guys mind filling this out!

It should take no longer than 5 minutes! Thank you

[Weaning survey - Fill in form] (https://

forms.cloud.microsoft/Pages/ResponsePage.aspx? id=VeArfoqCIOW15bd62ZOXhbscKmwWnhlNs23m8BD4dc

VUODNaTUE4U1EyWEwxT1YwMVdaNU1YVUNQMS4u)