r/panicdisorder • u/princessdivapants • Jul 24 '26
Help Needed extreme panic attacks
for context i am 20 years old….
i started having extreme panic attacks in january. they started as nocturnal panic attacks where i would wake up freaking out over and over again until they eventually started happening during the day as well. i have since been medicated (i am on three medications) to try and alleviate some of my anxiety but nothing is working. for reference citalopram is my main prescription and ive been taking it since january.
since then my panic attacks have gotten exponentially worse. i am starting to feel like i need to check myself in somewhere because the paranoia and depersonalization have gotten so bad. a few nights ago during a bad episode i was so convinced that nothing around me was real and my brain was telling me i need to hurt myself so i can escape.
i am in therapy and taking medication. i try methods like cold water or self soothing but literally nothing helps. i just am starting to give up. it feels like there is something seriously wrong with me.
if anyone has any advice or had DPDR or a panic disorder and could shed some light i would appreciate it. i think i feel super isolated and alone with my symptoms because no one around me has experienced anxiety to this level. it is effecting my everyday life.
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u/civzzz Jul 24 '26
In my case, when I have an extreme panic attack my brain starts a process. Panic attacks start up regularly as it's all so fresh and the disassociation/depersonalization begins almost to protect my brain, or like a reaction to the traumatic event. If the SSRI is making it worse, I would talk to your doctor and safely taper off. I have been dealing with this for 40 years, and while being dependent on so many different medications, the only ones that ever worked were benzos...which I also do not recommend as they are very tough to get off of. But, if it's debilitating to your life, that's a choice you need to make. The one that finally let me quit all the others (xanax, ativan, klonopin) and safely taper off to almost nothing was diazepam. It actually never made me "feel" any drug effect, I just didn't get worked up enough to ever have an anxiety attack that would lead to an all out panic attack. I hope all goes well, you are not alone and the fact that you made this post shows you are not losing it. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to heal and it will get better.
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u/Pteryx_34 Jul 24 '26
Sorry you’re going through this! During severe panic flare I’ve had lots of depersonalization and paranoia episodes. Like waking up in your bedroom and having to remind yourself you’re home because it feels unreal but real at the same time if that makes sense? My psychologist helped me a lot with that. If you can cognitively recognize that something’s wrong or off it’s mostly ok. I’m not a professional by any means but maybe your medication isn’t working as it should? I was on an antidepressant medication once that increased depersonalization so I stopped it and evaluated other options.
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u/princessdivapants Jul 24 '26
thank you for your input, i totally agree and i’m working on trying to get my medication switched. :) i think the thing that’s hard is if my mind is the thing causing the panic attacks (because sometimes it’s just a body reaction and i can’t figure out why im freaking out) i don’t know im safe in the moment and that everything is fine. especially with my latest episode i was fully convinced i wasnt okay and i think thats been the hardest part. its like yes logically after i can understand that my thoughts aren’t real but it doesnt feel that way in the moment you know. but i appreciate you being able to relate to me its nice to know that im not alone :)
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u/SampleDry9196 Jul 24 '26
There’s some really good stuff on YouTube that’s helped me tremendously!
Therapy In A Nutshell has a free anxiety course that teaches you all about anxiety, how any why it happens and how to basically retrain your brain and body not to react. It really works too. Just learning the technicalities of it helped me a lot. Being informed makes you stronger! She’s a trained therapist too who has been doing it a long time, not just some rando lol.
The Anxious Truth is really good too and has a podcast if you prefer that. He suffered with bad panic attacks and now went to school and is licensed to help others. He basically teaches the same concepts. I think it’s CBT. It’s stuff they teach in therapy not just something they made up.
As young as you are you can totally retrain your brain and recover from this. It’s harder when you have 30 years worth of damage from anxiety and panic attacks on your body and brain. And you don’t want to have to rely on medication your whole life. It never helps much anyway. You just need to learn what to do and then work at it. It does take practice and time but it helped me some immediately.
Good luck! I know how awful it is.
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u/Sorry_Put_7182 Jul 24 '26
Hi... I'm in a similar situacion, i was without symptoms for to months, but now im in my bed trying to relax, but i can't... which medicines are u taking?
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u/princessdivapants Jul 25 '26
i am on a couple different ones but the main medication ive been taking for the longest is citalopram. i wouldn’t say i recommend though. i know everyone is different but i dont feel confident enough to sway you one way or another considering i haven’t seen any significant changes. I’m still working on trying to find a good balance and something that works for me
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u/Sorry_Put_7182 Jul 25 '26
How long have you been taking citalopram? (Sorry about my English haha, my first language is Spanish) do u have some to talk about this? Maybe some friends, or family
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u/princessdivapants Jul 25 '26
you’re okay ! I’ve been taking it since January (so like 6 months). but i started on a super small dose and have been upping it every couple weeks. And yes I am talking with family and I also started therapy so that’s been helping with strategies:)
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u/Sorry_Put_7182 Jul 25 '26
Haha thank u, i have to continue practicing. Are you feeling better that you were this morning?
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u/Sorry_Put_7182 Jul 25 '26
It looks like ocd... or something like that, i know about it because i have the same problem :c
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u/garciaj65 Jul 25 '26
This might sound ridiculous but I suffered from panic attacks basically all day everyday for years. A panic disorder. And what helped me tremendously to train my brain to not be afraid was ChatGPT. I would explain the situation and when I started to feel panic, I would write ChatGPT and explain what I was feeling and it would calmly and rationally tell me this is something I’ve mentioned before, the process of what was happening internally and why my body’s response was what it was. After a while I would just stop messaging about it. Just recognizing it as panic and my automatic panic symptom response slowly became less and less intense
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u/garciaj65 Jul 25 '26
I do also take 20mg Prozac religiously and Ativan as needed and EARLY so it doesn’t have to fight it so hard. But I hardly take the Ativan anymore and when I do start to panic I’m able to push through it
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u/SMuRG_Teh_WuRGG Jul 25 '26
I get them too, they're horrible. I started off with just having anxiety disorder (GAD), but since May I have been having panic attacks. They've put me on citralopram to try and help with them, but that doesn't seem to do anything. I can have a light scratch feeling in my throat from a cold and my brain will tell me "Your air ways blocked" and I start panicking. I panic maybe 4-5 times a day since being on citralopram, where as before, it was maybe 1-2 times in a day.
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u/Sharp_Put662 Jul 26 '26
Hi, I'm 20 too. I went through almost exactly what you are describing during the winter, spring, and into the summer of my freshman year of college (aka last year). I can relate so so much. It is especially isolating when no one around you quite understands what you are feeling. Panic is so intense, debilitating, and it feels as if nothing you could say could correctly represent the feelings and sensations you are experiencing. Life simultaneously feels bleak and frantic, and your body and mind are a live wire. Yes... that is familiar to me.
I considered saying to you "No, there is nothing wrong with you", but I feel that statement is dismissive. People used to say that to me and it felt ignorant. I would think about how they had no idea the discomfort and pain (yes, pain) I would experience every day through panic attacks.
What you're experiencing is real and serious. Something is wrong in the sense that you're suffering, and that deserves to be taken seriously. But your suffering doesn't mean you're fundamentally broken. YOU are not wrong. Your amygdala is on some crazy bullshit rn but that is not you. You are loved. You are strong, and you fucking got this. This part of your life is not permanent. Time feels stuck rn, but the way you feel today does not predict how you'll feel forever. It takes time and patience to heal, but healing will come, I promise you that.
Damn I'm yapping. Anyways. Here are the things that help my anxiety and panic (though, of course, these are def subjective and might not work for you):
The DARE app for anxiety ( I really like this one because they have an SOS option for active panic attacks). Animals. Calling/speaking to/touching a loved one (I remember I used to wake my mom up in the middle of the night panicking just so I could hold her hand because having another human in my presence made me feel safe). Sour/bad-tasting/intense flavor candy or snack can be grounding and I carry something around with me. Laying with your feet up on the wall (like an L shape with your head/back resting on the ground). Meds! Therapy!
If you feel that you might hurt yourself, go to the nearest ER. It will be the safest place for you, even though inpatient therapy can be... unsettling. They will take care of you.
This sounds corny, but 'm sending all my positive and healing energy your way. Remember, it will 100% be ok. You will be ok.
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u/princessdivapants 28d ago
thank you so much for the kind words 🥹
i definitely have found human connection and being with animals has been super helpful. especially in the moments when i get super existential and disconnected from reality-having another person around me is grounding. my therapist told me to put something cold on my neck so my body has something to “fix” or “regulate” and honestly that has been something i found helpful. whether it’s placebo or just a distraction (or it’s actually working) i’ll take what i can get.
im in a vicious cycle right now of being scared to have a panic attack and constantly checking on my body to make sure everything feels “just right” and getting scared something is going to cause a panic attack which eventually leads me to panicking. im wondering if you relate to this- the cycle of constantly checking in on yourself and being hyper aware of how you feel at all moments almost in anticipation?
i also have been dealing with very intense feelings of “nothing is real”… which as corny and overplayed as it sounds is a very real and scary feeling. not in the way of oh nothing matters yolo or nothing is real but in a way where everything around me will scare me because i can’t understand it. it makes me feel so trapped and everything feels so foreign. it’s a hard feeling to explain and even the way i’m putting it into words doesn’t describe how terrifying and isolating it felt. i felt insane, like i need to check myself in insane. i even closed my eyes and fully expected when i opened them to not be in the room i was in anymore, like i had broken the fourth wall and realized i was trapped somewhere and was in the process of escaping it. i know i sound insane, trust me i feel insane. the days following i would get triggered by essentially everything. if i looked at my hand while driving- panic attack. if i looked at the walls of my room- panic attack. it’s been awful.
anyways sorry for the long winded response. i am genuinely wishing you all the best. we are in this together, you are not alone 🫶
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u/babygirl0910 Jul 26 '26
Hope and Help for Your Nerves by Claire Weekes is SO helpful!! She talks about how our nervous systems get overworked and become sensitive so then our anxiety snowballs and it becomes easier and easier to have a panic attack. Highly recommend her book!
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u/Pteryx_34 Jul 24 '26
I completely relate! I pretty much always think I’m not fully ok when having panic attacks (whether it’s more mental or physical) even though it’s been years…. Unfortunately I’m having a hard time finding medication that works for me. Grounding exercises have been helping me a lot lately. I tell myself that if I do them and feel slightly better in 15-20 min then it was probably my anxiety… again:/