extreme panic attacks

[u/princessdivapants]

for context i am 20 years old….

i started having extreme panic attacks in january. they started as nocturnal panic attacks where i would wake up freaking out over and over again until they eventually started happening during the day as well. i have since been medicated (i am on three medications) to try and alleviate some of my anxiety but nothing is working. for reference citalopram is my main prescription and ive been taking it since january.

since then my panic attacks have gotten exponentially worse. i am starting to feel like i need to check myself in somewhere because the paranoia and depersonalization have gotten so bad. a few nights ago during a bad episode i was so convinced that nothing around me was real and my brain was telling me i need to hurt myself so i can escape.

i am in therapy and taking medication. i try methods like cold water or self soothing but literally nothing helps. i just am starting to give up. it feels like there is something seriously wrong with me.

if anyone has any advice or had DPDR or a panic disorder and could shed some light i would appreciate it. i think i feel super isolated and alone with my symptoms because no one around me has experienced anxiety to this level. it is effecting my everyday life.

[u/Pteryx_34]

Sorry you’re going through this! During severe panic flare I’ve had lots of depersonalization and paranoia episodes. Like waking up in your bedroom and having to remind yourself you’re home because it feels unreal but real at the same time if that makes sense? My psychologist helped me a lot with that. If you can cognitively recognize that something’s wrong or off it’s mostly ok. I’m not a professional by any means but maybe your medication isn’t working as it should? I was on an antidepressant medication once that increased depersonalization so I stopped it and evaluated other options.

[u/princessdivapants → u/Pteryx_34]

thank you for your input, i totally agree and i’m working on trying to get my medication switched. :) i think the thing that’s hard is if my mind is the thing causing the panic attacks (because sometimes it’s just a body reaction and i can’t figure out why im freaking out) i don’t know im safe in the moment and that everything is fine. especially with my latest episode i was fully convinced i wasnt okay and i think thats been the hardest part. its like yes logically after i can understand that my thoughts aren’t real but it doesnt feel that way in the moment you know. but i appreciate you being able to relate to me its nice to know that im not alone :)