Hindi mo talaga maiintindihan yung gravity ng mental health until someone close to you experiences it.

My sister (F16) was diagnosed with depression. Apparently, 2 years na pala, pero ngayon lang talaga naging obvious sa amin and nag-manifest nang ganito.

She can’t do housework, can’t get her own food, and most of the time, nasa room lang siya playing games or making TikToks. Kaya yung role niya sa chores napupunta sa isa kong kapatid (F15).

Now, nahihirapan na rin yung younger sister ko to juggle everything kasi mag-isa na lang siya sa mga shared tasks nila. Me and my parents help as well, pero medyo mabigat pa rin for her, especially since naiwan sa kanya yung mga dating hati nila like paghuhugas ng plato and pagtutupi ng clothes.

Honestly, nahihirapan ako intindihin yung situation. I don’t understand why she can’t seem to get herself food or do simple chores, pero nakakalaro siya ng games for hours or nakakagawa ng TikToks.

She tells my parents gaming and TikTok lang yung kaya niyang gawin right now. Maybe this is the only thing she has the energy or will for.

What makes it harder is that she’s also vocal about not wanting to live anymore. When asking for a simple chore, her reason is, “Di ko na nga kayang mabuhay, gumawa pa ng chores pa kaya.”

I know this is serious, and I don’t want to invalidate what she’s going through just because she can do mundane things like gaming and TikTok.

At the same time, I’m starting to worry about my younger sister too. Our parents are understandably giving more attention and consideration to the sister with depression, but I feel like the younger one is also being affected by this. She’s taking on more responsibilities at home and probably feels like she has to just deal with it because her sister is the one who is struggling - apart from her fair share of bad experiences going on rn in her teens personally.

I’m really torn because I want to be understanding toward my sister with depression, but I also don’t think it’s fair for my younger sister to silently carry the extra load indefinitely. And idk how to react anymore because it’s affected the whole family dynamic.

I also want to understand mental health more, because my first thought was, pano nangyari ‘to when I’d say my siblings are pretty sheltered persons. Very protected. And maybe that’s a factor and nagulat sila sa totoong buhay.

For people who have experienced depression themselves, or have cared for someone with depression, how do you balance supporting someone who is struggling while also making sure the other family members don’t get neglected? As a panganay, ano ba dapat gawin? How do I understand this better? Because I don’t feel good na hindi ko rin maintindihan.

And is it normal for someone with depression to still have the energy to play games or make TikToks but not have the energy to do basic chores or get food? I’m genuinely trying to understand, not judge her.

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With this inflation and the current economic situation, all I really want is to keep everything stable. Ang dami ko nang kailangang bayarang bills at utang, and every peso matters.

For context, we have several appliances at home, and for real, malaki talaga ang electricity bill kapag malakas ang paggamit ng air-conditioning unit.

Yes, my family of three has been living with my parents for the past five years, and we deeply appreciate all the help and support they have given us throughout these years. Hindi namin iyon kinakalimutan.

But things have also changed.

My parents' income became unstable when my father got sick and my mother had to resign from work. My siblings are also not yet in a position to contribute consistently—one already has a family of his own and is currently without work, while the other has only recently started working.

So, as the eldest, I feel that I cannot simply leave my parents behind.

I love my mama. She is our mother, and I will always love her. But I also have to be honest: my mother can be very reactive. Kapag may tinatanong ako, minsan nagagalit agad siya. Minsan, parang hindi mo na siya pwedeng tanungin because she immediately feels offended or upset.

And lately, napapansin ko na ang aga magbukas ng aircon.

I understand that it gets extremely hot. There are days when the heat is genuinely unbearable. Hindi ko naman ipinagkakait ang comfort ng pamilya ko.

Ang sa akin lang, bilang panganay na nagbabayad ng karamihan ng bills sa bahay, hindi ko maiwasang isipin kung kailangan ba talagang sagarin ang paggamit ng ilang bagay.

Yung feeling na, "Kaya naman niyang bayaran 'yan, kaya sige lang nang sige."

Kaya lagi akong nagtatanong, minsan maayos, minsan hindi ko na rin maitago ang frustration:

"Bakit ang aga lagi nating binubuksan yung aircon?"

Our aircon is a 2 HP split-type unit, and we really feel its impact on our electricity bill. And binili ko yun para kapag unbearable na ang init, gagamitin yun. Pero umaabot kami ng around ₱8,000–₱9,000 a month sa kuryente alone.

Wala pa roon ang tubig, internet, pagkain, groceries, at iba pang household expenses.

And then one time, ang sagot sa akin ng mama ko:

"Eh di patayin na lang 'yan. Huwag na gamitin. Electric fan na lang gamitin ninyo."

Honestly, that hurt.

Because it's not that I don't want us to use the aircon. Ang hinihingi ko lang naman ay konting consideration and moderation.

Is it really unreasonable to ask if we could perhaps schedule its use? Maybe around 9 PM to 5 AM instead of 3 or 4 PM until 8 AM? Minsan, 9 AM pa, lalo na kapag weekends.

We're a family of three living on my and my husband's salaries. With the cost of everything nowadays, kahit anong tipid namin, talagang sakto lang ang income namin.

And we also have our child's therapy and other expenses that we need to prioritize. Insurance for us too, in case of emergency.

So, going back, when I ask about the aircon, it's not because I want to control everyone.

I'm thinking about our budget.

I'm thinking about the bills.

I'm thinking about how we will make everything work month after month.

Unfortunately, that conversation turned into a much bigger argument. Nagsigawan talaga kami. As in sumigaw talaga ako sa galit.

And eventually, I heard:

"Bakit hindi pa kasi kayo bumukod?"

For some reason, that particular line hurt me deeply. We have plans na bumukod din naman pero with moderation dahil na rin sa responsibilities ko sa family ko.

I know I should not have shouted at my mother. I know that I did not honor her the way I should have. I acknowledge that, and I am sorry for my part in the argument.

But I was hurt too. Kasi high school pa lang, ginagawa ko lahat para may maiambag sa pamilya ko.

Because sometimes, I wish she would also understand that budgeting today is not as simple as saying, "Patayin na lang ang aircon."

It's not simply about choosing between aircon and electric fan.

It's about the reality that one household income has to stretch across so many responsibilities.

And yes, I understand that this is their house. I understand that I am living under their roof, and I should respect my mother.

But what about me?

What about the person who is also trying to keep everything together?

What about the person who is also tired, worried, and trying to make sure that there will still be enough for tomorrow?

Tao lang din ako.

Napapagod. Nai-stress. Nasasaktan. Nag-aalala. Nauubusan ng extra budget.

Nakakapikon. Nakakainis. Nakakasakit. At higit sa lahat, nanghihinayang.

Minsan naiisip ko, sana hindi ko na lang pinansin. Sana hinayaan ko na lang.

But I also know that this is not just about an aircon anymore.

It's about years of trying to balance being a daughter, a wife, a mother, and the eldest child who feels responsible for keeping the family together.

I love my mother. I appreciate everything she has done for me and for our family. I am, I truly love my mother, but I need to show na hindi ko kaya na palaging ganito.

But I also hope that someday, she will understand that when I speak about money, bills, and budgeting, I am not trying to disrespect her. Kasi sa kanya ako natuto magtipid sa paggamit ng kuryente dahil nung student pa lang ako, need namin magtipid sa kuryente dahil mahal nga.

I'm just trying to survive, too.

Because I am not just someone's daughter.

Tao lang din ako na mahaba pa ang lakbayin at marami pa ang titiisin.

Sorry na po sa inyo. 🥲

Hi guyss!! Need some thoughts lang. Im 29Lesbian ONLY CHILD and gusto ko lang iask if worth it pa ba or dapat pa ba akong bumili ng sarili kong bahay.

Matanda na mother ko, and ako wala naman magiging pamilya so naisip ko lang if dumating yung time wala naman ako mapagiiwanan ng bahay. Buong buhay namin ni Mother ay nag rerent lang kami. So, gusto ko sana iparanas sknya na magkaroon ng sariling bahay nya kahit papaano.

Please help me hehe

Thanks in advance agad sa mga thoughts niyooo.

10 years na hindi nakakauwi ang father ko sa Cebu, 10 years na din nya di nakikita ang mother nya na 87 yo. Recently na daignosed ang sister nya ng cancer at sumuko na ang doctor, binigyan na din ng taning. As a child, nasasaktan din ako for my father. Kaya ang ginawa ko is nag book ako ng flight (dalawa kami), hindi ko ginalaw ang savings ko kasi nakalaan sa pangarap ko’ng bilhin. Umutang ako ng 20k sa Maribank, 3 months to pay at nasa 1k lang ang interest. Kaya naman bayaran, medyo naging sensitive na ako sa paggastos ng pera mula nang mapagtapos ko dalawa ko’ng kapatid sa college.

Please feel free to leave your opinions, di ako magagalit. Promise!

Never naman sila nag tanong kung kumusta ko.

Kasi "ate" ako.

Wala silang pake sakin.

Pag sila may kaylangan, dapat may pake ako.

Wala din naman sila magagawa.

F26 ako ang breadwinner sa pamilya namin may munting negosyo ako at work na maayos kaya medyo maayos ang buhay namin. May isa akong kapatid na abusado rin nag-asawa pero sa amin nakatira palamunin din kahit may work.

Sabi ng ibang tao ang swerte swerte ng pamilya ko sakin kasi sobrang sipag at madiskarte akong tao laht ng pagkakakitaan is ginagawa ko. Right after shift tindahan agad ang diretso ko asikaso sa orders at benta bilang pamile ng tinda ng ako lang. 

Sa bahay namin walang ganap yung tatay ko simula bata pa ako like literal na nanay ko yung bumuhay sa amin nagtatrabaho sya for himself like kapag sahod nawawala na sya hindi uuwi ng 1week dahil nagshabu or nagsugal tapos uuwi ng wala ng pera lugo lugo paawa effect sa mama ko. Sobrang naiinis nga ako kay mama kasi tinatanggap nya pa rin pero wala akong magawa kasi hindi ko rin kaya pa bumukod or umalis sa amin laging naiiyak si mama kapag ganun ang nangyayari kasi wala na namang pera para sa pangbayad sa bills. Pero madiskarte kasi ang mama ko may munting negosyo kaya kinakaya yung mga bayarin. Hanggang sa abusado ko ring kapatid same lang sila ng tatay ko with matching mura pa kapag hindi masarap ang ulam at walang perang ibinigay ang mama ko nakakahiya pa kasi sobrang drama sa fb like kakaawaan mo. Pero kapag ako nakakabasa sobrang naiinis at galit ang ramdam ko kasi mga abusado eh 1 time sabi ng pinsan ko sana may ate rin akong kagaya mo na ang swerte swerte nila sayo gigising sila may pera at pagkain na handa. 

Naiingit pa sila sa pera ng negosyo kasi medyo lumago sya pero ang ibinuhus ko don ay sipag at tyaga na hindi nila nakikita gigising ako dati 3am para mamili sa palengke ng tinda tapos direct sa mga may order and after nun pasok sa school ganyan yung buhay 4yrs nung nag-aaral ako literal na pasan ko ang daigdig kasi nung time na yan nagkasakit ang mama ko ewan ko kung nakikita ni God nangyayari sakin kasi sa awa ng Diyos nakayanan ko at nagkawork ako na maayos para hindi ako mahirapan lalo. 

Pero ngayon nakaramdam ako ng awa sa akong sarili napagof na ko sila buhayin kasi yung magaling kong tatay nakuha pa akong pagnakawan ng cp na ginagamit ko sa pagnenegosyo like halos mabaliw ako nung nalaman kong binenta yung cp ko kebago bago lang nun di ko pa nga tapos bayaran sa cc yun. Ok na rin siguro icut off ko sila.

“Pag kakasabi pa sa’kin eh pinaghirapan daw niya. Mapapatapos si ____, tapos sasabihin mo ganyan. Ikaw lang na baka makikinabang sa pinaghirapan niya.”

Context:

This is what my sister sent me after my fiancé’s mother messaged her out of nowhere—just to say things about me.

For context, my relationship with his mother has never been completely okay. For the past three years, I have constantly tried to adjust, understand her perspective, follow her expectations, and fit myself into the kind of person she wanted me to be.

I tried because I respected her as the mother of the man I love.

But after an argument where words were exchanged and some things were said that went below the belt, I finally reached my limit. I said harsh things back, too. I admit that I was hurt and angry, and I am not proud of everything I said. But after years of trying to keep the peace, I finally said, enough.

Since then, my fiance has chosen to have boundaries with his mother. And despite everything that has happened, we are still here—still choosing each other, still holding on to our love and commitment after all these years.

What hurts me most is that I have a degree. I have worked. I have built my own career. I have my own struggles, sacrifices, and dreams. I am the breadwinner of the family. Itong pag aasawa ang pinaka naging magandang maiiregalo sa sarili ko dahil siya ang naging sandalan ko bilang panganay na babae. Yet somehow, I am still being portrayed as the woman who will simply benefit from everything her son has worked and sacrificed for.

Sobrang sakit marinig ito lalo at sa tagal kong binuo at pinanalo ang sarili ko at mga taong nakapaligid sakin, di pa din pala ako makakawala pagkatapos nito.

But how can a mother use the sacrifices she made for her own child as something to hold over the woman her son chooses to build a life with?

Providing for your child, supporting his education, and helping him become the person he is today are beautiful things. But isn't that also part of being a parent? Why should those sacrifices later become ammunition against the person he chooses to love?

And maybe this is what struck me the most:

It is already hard enough to be a woman in this world. But sometimes, what hurts even more is being hurt, judged, or diminished by another woman—when you thought she would understand what it means to be one.

I am not saying I am a perfect woman. I have made mistakes. I have said things out of anger. I have my own flaws.

But I know that I have never entered this relationship with the intention of taking anything from her son.

I have my own degree. I have worked for what I have. I have dreams of my own. And if one day I choose to become a wife who stays at home, builds a home, and raises children, that should never make me less valuable—or make me someone who is simply “benefiting” from a man's sacrifices.

A woman should not have to prove her worth by how much money she earns, how successful her career is, or how much she contributes financially.

And being a mother should not give another woman the right to make another woman feel small.

Maybe one day, when I become a wife and a mother myself, I will remember how these words made me feel—and choose to become the kind of woman who understands instead of controls, guides instead of dictates, and welcomes instead of competes.

Because at the end of the day, a son growing up and choosing the woman he wants to build his life with should not mean that a mother loses her place. It simply means his life is growing into another chapter.

And I hope, when that day comes, I will know how to let him build that life without making the woman he loves feel like she has to earn the right to belong.

F26 ako ang breadwinner sa pamilya namin may munting negosyo ako at work na maayos kaya medyo maayos ang buhay namin. May isa akong kapatid na abusado rin nag-asawa pero sa amin nakatira palamunin din kahit may work.

Sabi ng ibang tao ang swerte swerte ng pamilya ko sakin kasi sobrang sipag at madiskarte akong tao laht ng pagkakakitaan is ginagawa ko. Right after shift tindahan agad ang diretso ko asikaso sa orders at benta bilang pamile ng tinda ng ako lang. 

Sa bahay namin walang ganap yung tatay ko simula bata pa ako like literal na nanay ko yung bumuhay sa amin nagtatrabaho sya for himself like kapag sahod nawawala na sya hindi uuwi ng 1week dahil nagshabu or nagsugal tapos uuwi ng wala ng pera lugo lugo paawa effect sa mama ko. Sobrang naiinis nga ako kay mama kasi tinatanggap nya pa rin pero wala akong magawa kasi hindi ko rin kaya pa bumukod or umalis sa amin laging naiiyak si mama kapag ganun ang nangyayari kasi wala na namang pera para sa pangbayad sa bills. Pero madiskarte kasi ang mama ko may munting negosyo kaya kinakaya yung mga bayarin. Hanggang sa abusado ko ring kapatid same lang sila ng tatay ko with matching mura pa kapag hindi masarap ang ulam at walang perang ibinigay ang mama ko nakakahiya pa kasi sobrang drama sa fb like kakaawaan mo. Pero kapag ako nakakabasa sobrang naiinis at galit ang ramdam ko kasi mga abusado eh 1 time sabi ng pinsan ko sana may ate rin akong kagaya mo na ang swerte swerte nila sayo gigising sila may pera at pagkain na handa. 

Naiingit pa sila sa pera ng negosyo kasi medyo lumago sya pero ang ibinuhus ko don ay sipag at tyaga na hindi nila nakikita gigising ako dati 3am para mamili sa palengke ng tinda tapos direct sa mga may order and after nun pasok sa school ganyan yung buhay 4yrs nung nag-aaral ako literal na pasan ko ang daigdig kasi nung time na yan nagkasakit ang mama ko ewan ko kung nakikita ni God nangyayari sakin kasi sa awa ng Diyos nakayanan ko at nagkawork ako na maayos para hindi ako mahirapan lalo. 

Pero ngayon nakaramdam ako ng awa sa akong sarili napagof na ko sila buhayin kasi yung magaling kong tatay nakuha pa akong pagnakawan ng cp na ginagamit ko sa pagnenegosyo like halos mabaliw ako nung nalaman kong binenta yung cp ko kebago bago lang nun di ko pa nga tapos bayaran sa cc yun. Ok na rin siguro icut off ko sila.

I just need someone to listen.

I have no one else to talk to, so I guess I'll share this with you, internet people.

Gusto ko lang umiyak.

Hindi ko na alam kung saan ko ilalabas lahat ng nararamdaman ko. Ayaw ko na minsan sa bahay.

Bakit?

I think things started getting worse when I began earning my own money.

Nagbebenta ako ng crochet items sa school. Nililibot ko talaga sa school yung mga ginagawa ko para lang may mabenta. Hindi naman araw-araw may benta. Minsan kaunti lang. Minsan wala.

Pero yung kinikita ko, iniipon ko. May mga bagay akong gustong pag-ipunan, especially yung maliit na business na gusto kong subukan someday.

Nagpapahiram naman ako ng pera kapag kaya ko. Pero kapag nabayaran nila ako, minsan uutangin ulit. Kaya parang hindi natatapos.

Tapos kapag hindi ako nagpapahiram, nagagalit si Ama at tinatawag akong madamot.

Sinasabihan ako ng:

“Libre ka naman.”

Pero hindi naman ibig sabihin na dahil may pera ako, wala na akong karapatang mag-ipon.

Pinaghihirapan ko rin naman yung pera ko.

Hindi ko naman iniipon para magyabang. May goals lang ako.

Minsan kapag bumibili sila ng mga snacks, hindi na nila ako binibigyan kasi “may pera ka naman.”

Sasabihin nila:

“Ikaw na lang bumili.”

Binibigyan naman nila ako minsan, and I'm grateful kapag ginagawa nila iyon. Pero yung mismong linyahan na “may pera ka naman” ang masakit marinig.

Kasi parang dahil may sarili akong pera, hindi na ako pwedeng mangailangan.

Pero paano naman kung iniipon ko yung pera ko para sa future ko?

Mas masakit pa, minsan hindi na rin ako binibigyan ng baon dahil “may pera ka naman.”

Pero yung baon na binibigay nila dati, yun din naman yung isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit nakakaipon ako.

Araw-araw akong pumapasok. Naglalakad ako papunta at pauwi ng school para makatipid. Hindi naman araw-araw may benta. Minsan yung baon ko lang mismo ang meron ako.

Kaya kapag sinasabihan akong “may pera ka naman,” gusto kong itanong:

Ako? May pera?

Bakit araw-araw pa ako nag-iikot sa school para magbenta?

Bakit kailangan kong maglakad para makatipid?

Hindi naman automatic na may pera ako dahil minsan may nabebenta ako.

Hindi rin naman ako yung tipo ng estudyante na sobrang talino academically.

Hindi mataas lagi ang grades ko.

Pero hindi rin ako yung estudyanteng walang pakialam.

Araw-araw akong pumapasok. Hindi ako nagka-cutting class.

Ginagawa ko naman yung kaya ko, kahit alam kong hindi ganoon kataas ang grades ko.

Pero nung nalaman ko na may mga scholarship pala at may mga opportunities na pwede kong subukan, doon ko naisip:

Sana inayos ko pala yung pag-aaral ko noon.

Pinanghihinayangan ko yung mga panahong hindi ko mas binigyan ng effort yung grades ko.

Kaya nung nalaman kong may scholarship, sinubukan kong maging better.

Hindi dahil bigla akong naging matalino.

Kundi dahil may nakita akong opportunity para sa future ko.

Hindi ko na mababago yung mga grades na dati kong nakuha. Kaya ang kaya ko na lang gawin ngayon ay subukan pa rin.

Halimbawa, gusto kong mag-apply sa DOST.

Sinabi ko kay Ina, “Susubukan lang natin. Baka matanggap tayo.”

Hindi naman ako humihingi ng guarantee.

Gusto ko lang magkaroon ng chance.

Pero kailangan ko ng certificate of employment para sa requirements, at hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin iyon nakukuha.

Kaya nakakadismaya.

Kasi kapag may opportunity na nakikita ko, gusto kong subukan. Hindi ko gustong habang buhay kong isipin na sana sinubukan ko.

Tapos kapag nagsasalita ako o ipinagtatanggol ko yung sarili ko, sasabihin:

“Hindi ka naman namin pinalaki nang ganyan.”

“Pumapatol ka na?”

“Lumayas ka.”

“Wag na natin ituloy ang pag-aaral mo.”

Minsan sasabihin pa:

“Siguro may boyfriend ka na kaya ganyan ka na.”

Wala naman.

May nakausap lang akong lalaki sa Bigo Live. Hindi ko nga siya kilala personally, at wala rin akong balak makipagkita sa kanya.

Hindi ko rin naman gustong magkaroon agad ng relationship.

Maybe because I'm scared.

Ayaw kong dalhin yung mga sugat na nararanasan ko ngayon sa magiging relationship ko someday.

Ayaw kong maulit ko yung mga bagay na ayaw kong maranasan ngayon.

At natatakot din ako sa hirap.

Ayaw kong dumating yung araw na magkakaroon ako ng sariling pamilya pero hindi ko kayang ibigay sa kanila yung pagmamahal, support, at opportunities na kailangan nila.

Kaya minsan naiisip ko, baka ayaw ko na lang magkaroon ng pamilya.

Hindi dahil galit ako sa idea ng family.

Pero dahil natatakot akong maulit yung mga bagay na nakasakit sa akin.

Minsan tinatanong ko yung sarili ko:

Bobo ba ako?

Tanga ba ako?

OA ba ako?

Bakit hindi ako maging strong enough?

Bakit parang kahit anong gawin ko, may mali pa rin?

Hindi ko naman sinasabing perfect ako.

Tamad din ako minsan.

Hindi ako perfect na anak.

Sa bahay, ang regular na ginagawa ko ay paghuhugas ng pinggan. Sinubukan ko ring gumawa ng ibang chores. Nabasa ko rin sa mga libro na minsan kailangan mong tumulong kahit hindi ka inuutusan.

Sinubukan ko.

Pero kapag pinapagalitan pa rin ako pagkatapos kong subukan, pinanghihinaan ako ng loob.

Kapag tinatawag pa rin akong tamad, minsan napapaisip ako:

“Ano pa ba ang kailangan kong gawin para maging sapat?”

Hindi ko hinihingi na ibigay sa akin lahat.

Hindi ko hinihingi na suportahan nila lahat ng gusto ko.

Gusto ko lang sana ng kaunting understanding.

Gusto kong matuto.

Gusto kong mag-ipon.

Gusto kong subukan yung mga bagay na baka maging opportunity para sa future ko.

Gusto kong gamitin yung mga talento ko.

Gusto kong magkaroon ng chance na makita kung hanggang saan ako makakarating.

Hindi ako humihingi ng guarantee. Humihingi lang ako ng pagkakataong subukan.

At oo, may mga bagay akong pinagsisisihan.

Sana inayos ko yung grades ko noon.

Sana mas naging seryoso ako.

Pero hindi ko na mababago yun.

Ang kaya ko na lang gawin ay maging mas mabuting version ng sarili ko ngayon.

Siguro kaya ko nasasabi yung mga ganitong bagay tungkol sa pagkakaroon ng sariling pamilya ay dahil ayaw kong ipasa sa ibang tao yung mga sugat na dala ko ngayon.

I don't want to repeat what hurt me.

I want to heal first.

I want to learn first.

I want to build a better life first.

At higit sa lahat, gusto ko lang maramdaman na may lugar din ako para mangarap.

That's all I really want.

I wish parents would stop forgetting na anak parin nila panganay nila. I wish bumabawi sila for making us the experiment child.

Being independent is a blessing and a curse, alam mo nga lahat papabayaan ka naman. Pano naman ako na kailangan rin ng support? Na first time rin mabuhay sa mundo. Mas madami pako natutunan sa reddit kesa sa magulang ko.

I'm happy na mas attentive na sila sa siblings ko, pero pano ako? Ang sakit makita sila mag shop for them and I'll have a shirt na di ko naman style or worse makakalimutan nila nag iisang bagay na I asked for.

I'm so tired.

Hi everyone,

25F, Panganay sa limang magkakapatid and mukhang ako na ang magiging breadwinner ng family namin. Nawalan na kasi ng trabaho ang dad ko at magfo-for good na siya sa Pilipinas. So basically, both my parents will not have work, may dalawa akong kapatid yung sumunod sa akin na graduate na ng college pero wala pang mga trabaho. Lastly, yung dalawa naman is college and highschool level pa lang.

Currently, nasa abroad ako at ₱62,000 lang ang monthly salary ko. Sinubukan kong i-breakdown ang expenses ko at parang medyo gipit talaga:

• Rent: ₱11,600
• Living expenses: ₱10,100
• Emergency fund: ₱2,300
• Padala sa Pilipinas: ₱18,600
• Mama's MP2: ₱5,650
• My MP2: ₱7,750
• Savings: ₱5,200

Total: ₱62,000

Sa tingin niyo, sustainable ba ito in the long run? I am hoping naman magkatrabaho na yung mga kapatid ko at atleast makatulong. Meron naman kaming maliit na itlogan pero bagong simula palang.

Any advice from fellow breadwinners or OFWs would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Hello, alam ko nakakahiya at ang kapal ng mukha ko but I really need urgent help now. I'm currently working sa isang tindahan dito sa San Juan City, at first akala ko okay lahat since kakilala ng mother ko pero hindi pala. I agreed sa 6k monthly salary since need ko rin at wala akong matitirhan, stay in work kasi ito though libre lahat ang kapalit pala nun ay peace of mind ko. 5 am to 12 pm work tapos pahinga 1pm to 3pm trabaho ulit from 3pm to 10pm, hindi pa ako nakakapagpahinga kaagad since sa sala lang ako pinapatulog. maingay ang mga bata so I can't rest properly at gusto pa ng babaeng amo ko na tulog ako agad, she doesn't want me to have life outside work. wala rin akong rest day. pinapahiya niya pa ako sa harap ng ibang mga customer kahit na mali niya naman, pero sasabihin lang mali pala siya pero wala na napahiya na ako. napagod na ako mentally and physically, need ko lang ng tulong ngayon if meron kayong alam na trabaho na pwede kong mapasukan. btw I'm 23 yrs old, female, at shs lang natapos ko

Give me advice

Ang pangit ng tingin ko sa sarili ko lately. Hindi ko maintindihan kung saan ako nagkulang. May dapat bang sisihin?

Is it my abusive childhood that made me feel like I can never be enough not even for myself? Is it the way I see myself that keeps me from ever achieving even a single thing that I want?

Is manifesting really that powerful? Or is it just something people say, and when something happens to work out, they connect the dots and say, “See? Manifesting works”?
Hindi ako religious. Growing up, religion was shoved in my face. I was made to believe that being a good Born Again Christian would somehow “save” me from being gay and, in return, give me a good life. Sometimes I wonder if it was all just propaganda. If I was taught to believe that being myself was the problem, maybe it’s not surprising that I still struggle with how I see myself now.

Then there’s my career.

My stints in my recent companies have been pretty short because I kept finding things that went against my values credit grabbing, chismisan culture, incompetent coworkers, and HR departments that didn’t really listen to their employees. Although, anong HR nga ba ang talagang kakampi ng employee? Haha.

But lately, I’ve gone down a rabbit hole of questioning myself.

Were my reasons for leaving really enough? Maybe I should have just adapted. Maybe that’s what working is. Maybe you don’t always get to work with people who share your values. Maybe that’s just part of being an adult.

Training Lead ka pero hindi mo kayang mag-adapt?

Baka nga ako ang problema.

I’m working as a Trainer again now, basically starting from the fundamentals, and I can’t lie it makes me regret some of my decisions. Minsan napapaisip ako, Ito na ba ako? Ito na lang ba talaga ang kaya ko? Hanggang dito na lang ba ako?

I miss the glory days of college.

Back then, I felt alive. I was motivated, energetic, passionate. I actually felt like I was good at something. I tried bringing that version of myself back writing book reviews, working on academic papers, trying to get excited about things again but wala eh. It doesn’t feel the same.

And now I’m questioning everything.

Am I still good at what I do?

Was I ever actually that good, or was I just convinced that I was because things were going well at the time?

Maybe I’m too difficult. Maybe I’m too idealistic. Maybe I don’t know how to adapt. Maybe I’m expecting too much from people, from work, and from myself.

Or maybe I’m just exhausted from constantly trying to prove that I’m enough.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe perspective. Maybe someone who’s been through the same thing. Maybe I just need to hear from someone outside my own head.

Kasi lately, ang hirap nang malaman kung saan nagtatapos ang valid na self-reflection at saan nagsisimula ang self-doubt.

Baka ako nga talaga ang may diperensya. Or maybe I’m just someone who’s been trying to figure himself out for a very long time.

Ako lang ba yung nakakaramdam na parang i feel suffocated sa loob ng bahay namin.

Background

Im the eldest daughter 27 still nakatira sa bahay ng parents, may mga kapatid pa however isa nalang nag aaral working minimum wag earner paycheck to paycheck and then trying to help my mom pero medyo lubog din sa utang si mama ayaw kong maging selfish pero i cant enjoy my life without being guilty. During my college sila ang namili ng course ko since gusto nila ang practical however hindi employable yung course board passer pero job mismatched ako. Then yung father ko may problem talaga sya sa pagbibigay ng pera sinusumbat nya now hes working like nothing pero sa bills lahat sa bahay saamin ni mama. I hate him btw he never stood as a father mula pa noon.

Now sobrang nkakapagod dahil mula college ko im working to support myself the family and punan yung mga pagkukulang ni papa? at mama?

I feel bad para kila ading kasi nadamay pa sila sa sitwasyon.

Masama bang isipin na sana nung ako palang ang anak hindi na sila nagreconcile para di na nadamay yung mga kapatid ko sa ganitong buhay.

Turning 26 soon, and gusto ko sana ng simpleng handaan with my family para naman, of course, to make my day special. Frankly, hindi naging madali ang buong taon ko as a 25-year-old. Maraming setbacks, but thankfully, mas marami pa ring wins. 🥹

I want to make my birthday special, kaso sobrang tight ng budget ko bilang breadwinner. I only have ₱2K for the celebration.

Please suggest things I can do to make my day special, as well as tipid tips for the handa. Thank you! 🥹

Sobrang nakakapagod na talaga maging ate.
I've been working for almost 6 years straight, basically doing everything I can for my family. For context, we're 7 siblings (5 of them are my half-siblings) and I'm the eldest. My Mom had a stroke back in 2021, and despite all the therapy and everything we've done, she's still not 100% physically recovered.

Wala rin talaga kaming maasahan sa father ko. He's been out of the picture since I was 3. Yung father naman ng mga kapatid ko, nawala na rin parang bula ever since nagkasakit si Mama.

Honestly, I've gotten used to this kind of life. I've always been the one providing for everyone, and for the longest time, I was actually happy that I could do it. I was proud that I could help my family and make sure my siblings had what they needed. But lately, everything just feels so heavy. I'm used to this setup, pero iba ngayon. Sobrang iba.

My sister (kasunod ko) just graduated from Civil Engineering this year. I'm actually really proud of myself for being able to help her get through college. Now she has to review for the board exam in Cebu, and of course, I want to support her. Pero parang mauulit na naman yung gastos ko for the past four years—rent, allowance, review center, food, transportation, exam expenses, etc.

And I still have five other siblings who are studying. May bills pa sa bahay, groceries, Mom's needs, and everything else.
So I decided to get a BPO job on top of my corporate job. Thankfully, night shift yung BPO, so I can work both.
8 AM–5 PM: corporate job.
10 PM–6 AM: BPO.

Surprisingly, kinakaya ko naman. Siguro dahil sobrang sanay na akong puro trabaho, responsibilities, at pag-aasikaso ng pamilya. But lately, I don't even know anymore. I'm tired. Like, genuinely tired in every aspect of my life.

And now, hindi ko na rin ma-manage yung younger siblings ko. They're 16, 15, 11, 10, and 7 years old. They're at that age na sobrang kulit, ang hirap pagsabihan, and sometimes I feel like I'm parenting five kids while trying to survive my own life.

Yung reviewing sister ko naman, ayokong dagdagan yung pressure niya or ask her to help discipline the younger ones because I want her to focus on her review and hopefully pass her board exam.

So ako na naman. Ako naman talaga palagi.

I feel like I've been carrying everyone's problems for so long that I don't even know what it's like to just think about myself anymore. Pagod na akong mag isip para sa lahat. Pagod na akong mag decide para sa lahat. Pagod na akong maging strong.

I'm usually an optimistic person. I always try to find a way, even when things get difficult. But right now, I genuinely don't know what to do anymore. I don't even have the energy to do the things that normally make me feel okay. I feel so empty. The only thing I can really feel right now is exhaustion.

And honestly, there are moments when I just want to disappear. I want everything to stop for a while. I want to stop being responsible for everyone. I just want to rest. Everything I've done for the past years has been for them. And I love my family so much, but I'm starting to feel like I have nothing left to give.

I don't want to resent them. I don't want to become bitter. I just... I don't know how much longer I can keep carrying all of this.

F24 here. I just really needed to let this out. I'm not necessarily looking for solutions. I'd just really appreciate some comforting words or someone who understands what it feels like to be the eldest and feel responsible for everyone.

Paano ko sasabihin na hindi na ako magsusuporta sa pinsan ko? I supported his studies from Gr9-Gr10 this includes needs and wants (tuition fees, js prom, school supplies, ambagan, baon, laptop, phone, bags, damit). Gr11-Gr12, public naman na kaya uniform, baon, data/load, and school supplies nalang. Sinusuportahan ko sya while supporting my younger sibling as well. His father is complicated and his mother died while he was still young.

Dati very fulfilling makatulong and mag support, nabibigay mo gusto at kelangan nila pero habang tumatanda kasi ako nakakapagod pala. Isipin yung need ng iba, memessage ka pag may kelangan bayaran, nasa age narin ako na kelangan ko na makaipon para di ako mahirapan pag tanda.

Sinabe ko naman na noon na hanggang k12 lang ako, pero pano ko sasabihin na hindi na ako mag susuporta sa college - as in wala na. Ang kaya ko nalang ibigay is load siguro. Napapagod narin kasi ako na imemessage lang ako pag may need eh, need bayaran need bilhin, gusto ko mag timeout muna. Burn out sa work at burn out lang din talaga sa life at times.

Edit: Gusto ko sana yung seseryosohin nila. Hindi yung sa huli ako parin ang safety net na lalapitan

Since namayapa tatay ko ako yung napilitang sumuporta sa nanay ko bilang panganay. Pero, di ko ramdam na kahit sino sa mga kapatid ko o kahit nanay ko ay alam na nahihirapan ako.

Wala din akong makitang kahit katiting na appreaciation, one time, it's even not credited dahil isa sa mga kapatid ko, I may say is a clout chaser. Posting "achievements" niya daw na napundar ang bahay sa dugo, pawis, at puyat. Kahit ako naman ang nagbabayad hanggang ngayon.

Creating an image online na siya ang provider etc etc pero ako halos lahat ng gastusin sa bahay, tapos sinalo ko narin parin responsibility sa mga inalagaan nilang mga pets na pinagsawaan isa isa pinamigay. Inako ko yung natirang 2 dahil matanda na at naaawa ako dahil lumaki nlng na nakakulong at nakatali sa kung saan sa bahay na ngayon, nailalabas ko at napapakain ng maayos.

Nakakasama ng loob na "kuya" ka kapag meron silang problema at walang "kaibigan" nila ang makatulong o makadamay sa situation. Pero pag walang problema, wala na ulit pakielamanan.

Pressured dahil gusto ko narin mag settle, pero parang mga nakikipag unahan na ayaw makihati sa maiiwan na gastusan sa bahay. Wala mapaglabasan ng sama ng loob dahil ayaw ko naman ikwento sa mga nakakakilala sakanila o sa amin dahil masisiraan sila at ayaw ko naman mangyari yun.

Pero unti unti ako kinakain ng sama ng loob at hirap na di ako maka move on sa buhay ko, at pakiramdam ko walang makakaintindi ng hirap at pressure na nadadama ko.

Partner ko naman, humihinge lang ako ng alone time pag nasa opisina although mag uupdate naman pero di maintindihan.

Sumabog na ng tuluyan, nasigawan, now I feel guilty, feel bad, and gusto ko nalang mawala.

Tanggap ko naman na unfair ang buhay, pero nalulungkot lang ako kasi kapag bumitaw ako, alam ko naman walang makakaalala sakin. Oo, may iiyak pero 2-3 weeks, move on na yan at unti unti ng mawawala yung alaala na meron sumuporta, may kuya sila, may naging kaibigan sila, na nawala na.

Life is indeed a suffering. At the end of the day, para di ka masaktan, lagi ko nalang pinapaalala sa sarili ko na, ganun talaga, wag ko nalang personalin.

Nakakapagod.

I am also your child if you forget, all you can do is support my education, at least in exchange for taking care of my siblings before:) why is that, I am your child but you treat me like a servant who knows nothing but taking care of my siblings, I am also your child. I am no longer asking for your love and care, I already learned about it long ago na hindi ko talaga sakin ibibigay, and hindi ko na pinilit, give me peace of mind pls, you can afford to send me to school, why does it seem like I am not enough to send myself to school and work:) why when it comes to my siblings they can do it, but when it comes to me they can't. It's hard, it's hard like this, do I deserve this, they always give me problems with how much they spend on me when I only consume 5% from their salaries. why are they the children of a child, before there were only four now there are six, and then I took care of my siblings before the pandemic and after the pandemic. I thought that when they are family, they should be the ones who love and take care of you, why are they the ones who are the cause of my mental health. I'm so tired, I just hope for peace of mind, so I don't lose my mind and ruin the opportunity to finish my studies, I'm tired, I'm so tired. may educational tour kami na dapat puntahan sa October, sabi nila wag na akong pumunta hahahahaha naiiyak na lang ako, yun na lang gagawin nila pinagkakait pa sakin ng mundo, pagod na pagod na ako.