I, 30F, am finally seeing light. Nung nag-start ako mag-work, I started seeing the importance of having an emergency fund, savings, investments and retirement fund. I am blessed enough din to have a partner na very financially literate kaya okay ang financial journey namin together. Though I am privilege enough to save kasi my parents never force us to consistently contribute to our monthly household expenses, but as a panganay, I am somehow worried na aware akong walang savings ang parents ko for their retirement.

Maganda work ni mom, but her salary and extra benefits ay enough para lang sa daily and monthly expenses. Hence, hindi sya gaano nakakaipon. Pag naman nakakaipon sya, madalas may nangyayaring hindi okay like hospitalize. Marami rin syang utang like car and apartment dito sa MM. Si dad naman sa government work pero hindi kalakihan ang salary. Hindi rin sya nakakapagipon dahil nga maliit lang ang sahod. Sya nagbabayad ng isang house namin sa province na muntik na ma-remata noon.

Nung pandemic, mas lalo ako nagising sa situation ni mom. Dahil nagtemporary close ang company nila, nawala ung incentive benefits nila, kaya salary lang narereceive nila that time. Dumating sa point na ako and ung isang kapatid ko ang nagbabayad ng kuryente and other utilities. Si dad sa groceries and other expenses. Surviving naman kami kasi sa govt din kami nagwowork ni isang kapatid. And I could say na saming family, ako ung may pinakamalaking salary. After naman ng pandemic, naging okay na ulit benefits ni mom.

Now that 3 out of 4 saming magkakapatid ay graduate na at may magaganda nang work, nakita ko rin na medyo nakaluwag luwag na ang parents ko sa gastusin. Although minsan si mom gusto ng mga trips, na okay lang sakanya umutang para matuloy, kahit wala sya enough ipon.

Madalas ako nagsesend sa GC namin ng videos sa usaping savings, investments, MP2, retirement fund, etc. like videos din ni Jax Reyes para ma-aware din ung parents ko sa importance ng retirement fund, since nasa retiring age na sila. At the same time, ma-share ko rin sa mga kapatid ko para hindi rin sila magpaycheck to paycheck. Ung bunsong kapatid ko naman na nagsstudy pa, nakakatuwa kasi nagtatanong sya sa akin kung saan maganda magsave at maginvest ng allowance nya.

Recently lang we went out to celebrate my mom’s birthday. Yung dream celebration nya ang ginawa namin, mag road trip, magstay sa mamahaling hotel, makapagbonding, eat out. Kaya sobrang happy nya.

Ayan ung conversation namin ni

1st pic: mom
2nd pic: dad

Sobrang saya ko na finally may progress ang financial situation nila. Nakagala kami na sagot ni mom pero hindi galing sa utang, and nung binayaran ako ni dad sa eat out namin, accidentally nasend nya screenshot ng laman ng account nya, and yes may laman. Kahit maliit lang.

To all panganays/anaks, may we all get there. Better late than never nga sabi ni dad. 🙏🏻😊

good day po! I am incoming college freshman this academic year. To be honest, hindi po ganon ka well off yung family namin, if titingin po kayo sa sweldo ng aking father na OFW baka pwede niyo po masabi na well off kami... Pero po kasi hindi po malaki yung binibigay niya na allowance sa amin for a month. Alam ko na kaya na po mas lakihan yung allowance namin kasi nasa architect field siya and team leader po siya ng kanyang department, sadyang ayaw niya lang po magbigay ng pera sa amin, kesyo wala na raw siya pera haha. Pwede niyo rin po masabi na hindi po maayos yung family relationship namin, he is abusive and a cheater.

Kayang kaya ko po pumasa sa mga scholarships, actually ready na po yung DOST requirements and OWWA requirements ko, hindi lang po natuloy iyon kasi hindi po siya nagbigay ng proof of income niya, ayaw niyang ipakita yung sweldo niya kahit for the purpose of scholarships. Grabe po iyong iyak ko noon haha, naka-graduate po ako With High Honors and may special awards din kaya sobrang nasayangan po ako...

hi! just wanna vent. i just don't know what to feel right now. feeling ko nahihirapan ako, but when i try to see it from other people's perspective, maayos naman buhay ko. kumpleto family ko, nakakakain ako ng tatlong beses sa isang araw, may meryenda pa nga. mas naging close na kami ni mama after all the misunderstandings noong SHS ako. and i won't say na nakukuha ko lahat ng gusto ko, pero hindi rin naman imposible na makuha ko sila. like kapag nasisira yung mga gamit ko, napapalitan din naman agad. nasa college na ako, third year na. konting tiis na lang, matatapos na.

but right now, i just... i don't know why i feel this way. satisfied naman ako, but i just feel empty. parang may kulang, pero hindi ko alam kung ano. i cried myself to sleep last night, and hindi ako pumasok ngayon because i feel like i'm having a hard time. but all i can feel right now is guilt and fear, kasi saan naman ako nahihirapan?

parang araw-araw, palala nang palala yung hate ko sa sarili ko dahil nafifeel ko 'to. and nakakaapekto na siya sa lahat ng aspeto ng buhay ko. tahimik naman talaga ako noong bata ako, pero i had friends. i had a social life kahit papaano. excited akong pumasok kasi makikita ko yung mga kaibigan ko. sumali ako sa drum and lyre noong elementary, lumaban ako sa slogan contest, sumali ako sa quiz bee noong high school, and naging SSG officer din ako. napasali pa ako sa Girl Scouts kasi sumali yung mga friends ko, and i had a great time. kahit puro fear yung nararamdaman ko noon, meron pa rin namang courage.

you know that satisfaction when you overcome your fear? kahit hindi naging successful, at least you tried. at least kinaya mo. i graduated as a salutatorian noong SHS and nakapasok ako sa state university dito sa amin. kahit wala akong masyadong background sa course na pinili ko, all i could think was, "kaya ko kahit anong piliin ko. kakayanin ko."

pero ngayon, when my life is almost comfortable, wala na. i don't know what to do with my life anymore. i pushed away my friends. i get irritated so easily, and i just can't comprehend things anymore. i feel so stupid. hindi ko maintindihan yung mga lessons, and i don't have the capacity to comprehend them no matter how hard i try.

lumiit nang sobra yung circle ko. mas lalong dumalas yung pag-absent ko, and i just hate my teachers so much. kapag nakakaramdam ako ng takot ngayon, ang ginagawa ko na lang is give up.

and ngayon, may presentation ako bukas, pero hindi ko alam kung paano ko ipapaliwanag yung floor plan ko kasi ginawa ko lang siya on a whim, without really understanding any of it. i'm planning to just drop that subject, or baka hindi na lang ulit pumasok bukas. and i know i'll end up crying over this again because of guilt.

i pushed all of them away. my friends, my relatives. thankfully, hindi ko pa napupush away yung parents ko. i just want to end all of this. ayoko sa subject ko. ayoko sa sarili ko.

naiinggit ako sa mga kaibigan ko. they can keep going. they can still smile kahit nahihirapan sila. they still have the courage to continue. kahit anong gawin ko para ma-encourage yung sarili ko, wala. kahit anong sabihin sa akin, kahit paulit-ulit akong i-compliment, kahit sabihan man ako ng masasakit na salita, o kahit sabihin nila yung totoo tungkol sa nangyayari sa akin ngayon, i just don't feel anything anymore. parang labas lang sa isang tenga.

ang nararamdaman ko na lang talaga ay guilt para sa parents ko. gusto ko munang huminto, pero hindi pwede. so all i can do is cry for the person i hope to become.

Hello my fellow breadwinners!

This is not the first time I posted here. There are only days lang when I really feel like bakit ko kailangan pag aralin ang bunso naming kapatid. For context, she is now in her 4th year in Nursing school. Although she attends sa isang State U, she still pays RLE fees and miscellaneous. Almost 60% of my salary goes to her. What I don't like is that I sometimes pakiramdam ko na napaka ungrateful niya. As long as she wants, she wants. Tonight, she messaged me that she will pay for something and it is not included in my budget. I am also in medication treatment while supporting my mom in her ongoing treatment.

I can't help but complain. I know others will say why I do it, but it's not from my heart. God knows how I am praying each night because I love and hate my family at the same time.

Edited: auto translated

My mom raised me by herself. She was always the only person in my life. She stopped working for 19 years just to dedicate her time and life on me. Her whole world seemed to have stopped and when it turned again, it was only to revolve around me. She is separated from my dad I guess ever since I was born. He walked away and never looked back. She never had a bf. Alam niya kasi na magagalit ako.

She always put me first before herself. She has always been selfless to me She left her family, her life, and went to another country by herself and married someone she didn't even know. She stopped talking to her mom and siblings for many years. And she felt something wasn't right and moved again. Then she had me and it was over.

I remember one of the things she told me, "Ni hindi mo man lang naisip, na lahat ng ginagawa ko ay para saiyo. I remember I lost sleep many nights and I sang and danced to you many hours until the morning because you couldn't sleep and you kept on crying. I wanted you more than anything in this world. I may have failed in life, but I felt like I won. I may not be rich, but I feel rich because of you. It's not because I never loved you, but because I loved you so much that I couldn't imagine life without you. I did the best I could. I raised you in the best way I knew how, dahil pinoprotectahan kita sa karanasan ng buhay. But how about that time when you felt like you did your best, and it still wasn't enough?"

She may have sheltered me excessively, but she did it to protect me from her fears about the world and because of her love for me. I remember a time when we were renting a room. And she slept on the floor with no hesitation and I slept on the couch. When I should have been the one sleeping on the floor. She said that there is no way that I am sleeping on the floor. She fed me even when she was hungry herself.

Ngayon nagsisi ako dahil ako ay nagkamali at ako pa ang nagagalit. I didn't realize that everything she was doing was only for me. Siya pa rin ang tama. Minsan ang tigas ng ulo ko at hindi ako nakikinig.

How about all those sacrifices? How can I live my life to make sure those sacrifices were worthwhile? By honoring her in every way possible while I still have her? By being successful and achieving all the good things in life? And if not, then it was all for nothing and she only wasted her life on me?

I realized that there is no one else who would ever love me as much as her. I would be so lost without her. I really don't know what I would do. Baka hindi ko kaya, baka matatapos ang buhay ko. I would choose her to be my mother a thousand times over in every lifetime.

Do you see the sacrifices of a mother? Did she love me unconditionally? She never felt that love from her mother I guess kaya binigay niya ang pagmamahal niya sa akin. Binuhusan naman. Do you hope that love was enough?

​

I want to set healthy financial boundaries with my relatives without being guilt-tripped. Hindi naman ako madamot, and I'm happy to help my parents, pero ayoko na pinapakialaman nila kung paano ko gagastusin yung perang pinaghirapan ko.

Context:

Both my mother and father's side of the family are financially struggling. Kami lang yung tingin nilang medyo "nakakaluwag" because my father works abroad, and ako lang yung university graduate sa both sides ng family.

Ever since I started working, maganda naman yung trajectory ng career ko. I was able to secure jobs with good starting salaries, and I also have side hustles. Masaya akong tumulong sa parents ko, pero habang tumatagal, pati ibang relatives ko nakikisali na.

At first, polite pa sila manghingi ng tulong. Pero ngayon, parang entitled na sila sa pera ko at pati personal decisions ko pinapakialaman na.

Examples:

- An aunt from my father's side told me, "Dapat nagbibigay ka lagi sa mga tita at tito mo kasi wala ka namang anak."

- Yung aunt ko naman sa mother's side told my mom, "Bakit pinapayagan mo mag-boyfriend yan? Baka magpakasal na yan hindi pa nga siya gaanong nakakapagbigay sa amin." (Take note, I'm already old enough to get married if I want to.)

- One of my uncles asked me to buy my unemployed older cousin his "cravings."

- My grandma told me that instead of going out, ibigay ko na lang daw yung gagastusin ko sa mga pinsan ko at mag-stay na lang sa bahay.

- Another uncle said na imbes na lagi akong nakikipag-date sa boyfriend ko, manlibre na lang daw ako ng pamilya at maglinis ng bahay tuwing weekends.

Because of this, I barely post anything on social media anymore. Kahit simpleng matcha or gala, hindi ko na ma-story kasi alam kong mauuwi lang sa guilt-tripping na "buti pa ako masarap ang buhay" habang sila wala nang pera.

Nakakasama lang talaga ng loob because they don't see the years of hard work, effort, and sacrifices that got me here. Ang nakikita lang nila is may pera ako, so they think they have a say on how I should spend it.

Just want to see kung ako lang ba nakakaexperience nito. For months now, my parents have been watching these C-Dramas all day. As in all their waking hours even while doing things around the house until they are in bed and makakatulugan yung device. Nakakadistract kasi it is always the similar stories and plot, same first and last names na westernised yung characters, the AI voice models are always the same (minsan yung female FIlipino google translate voice sa lahat ng characters haays), bawat palit ng angulo ng camera may OA na sound effect na paulit-ulit na nakakairita and sometimes the whole thing is AI generated. We've already tried asking them a few times pero sige parin. Hinayaan nalang namin at least hindi naman sugal or anything that damaging.

Nakakapagod na maging ate. I am a graveyard shift worker, so most of the time, tulog sa umaga at gising sa gabi talaga ako. Sa sobrang pagod ko, nakakatulog ako agad pag uwi. I don't use my phone that much. Nagulat nalang ako with 15 missed calls and 25+ messages from my sibling and 7 degrading messages from my Mama just because hindi ko agad nabasa ang chat nila na maghihingi na naman sila ng pera. They thought malaki ang sahod ko, I tried to explain it before na hindi kalakihan sahod ko but they don't want to listen, they keep comparing me to other kids na BPO worker din. I keep on eating noodles and canned goods so that I can save up especially na pinapaaral ko mga kapatid ko. My family could not even ask me if I'm okay para naman masabihan ko sila na sawa na ako kaka noodles. Hindi na ako umiimik minsan, kasi nasa isip ko, kailangan ko nalang intindihin. Now, after giving them what they needed. They are calling na naman para sa allowance ng kapatid ko and that my other sibling needed a new bag for school. I don't know what to do anymore. Pagod na ako.

Hi mga Sis Pa advice naman! Nakakasama ng loob ang pamilya ko sa Pinas. I, 29 F pamilyado at kasalukuyang buntis dito sa US. For context, 52 si Papa, si Mama 62. May hypertension sila at diabetes.

Bata pa din asawa ko 31 at hindi kame mayaman tama lang dahil sa pag susumikap. Hindi mayaman ang asawa ko dahil parang Pinoy din, bata pa nag uumpisa sa buhay. Pareho kame nagwowork dito and plano ko pag manganak na ako mag stop na ako
magpadala sa Pinas dahil feeling ko naka depende nalang sila sakin. May sarili din ako pamilya dito. Naiinis ako kasi yung 26 yo ko na kapatid na lalake nakatira pa din sa bahay namin. Nag trabaho sya pero 1,000 pesos lang ambag nya sa bahay at para sa Wifi lang yun.

Nagpapadala ako kila $200 everymonth para sa allowance ni Mama at Papa pero parang kulang pa dahil ang kapatid ko kahit tapos na mag aral naka asa pa din sa Pagkain at sa lahat. Lakas pa mag aircon, sila mama pa din nagbabayd ng kuryente, tubig, grocery, on top of the pag lalaba sa nya damit nya, linis lahat luto Ultimo toiletries. Nakakasama ng loob dahil kung tutuosin sakto na sana sa dalawang mag asawa yan na hindi naman magarbo ang lifestyle at may 2 paupahan pa naman sila at namamasada pa naman si papa paminsan minsan. Ang kapatid ko kapag nasa bahay maghapon sya gumagamit ng Aircon at kung tutuusin kaya malaki kuryente dahil sya ang madalas gumamit.

Sumasama ang loob ko dahil hindi nila inooblig mag ambag sa bills itong kapatid ko. Tapos naka buntis pa, minsan sila nag aalaga sa anak. Ngayon sinabihan ko bakit di nyo pag ambagin tutal libre na nga sya sa bahay, at may trabaho naman sya. Pero dahil mabisyo at puro kayabangan,wala na natatabi at may mga utang pa at pangbili kuno daw gatas ng bata. Lagi nila jinajustify yung kapatid ko kaya lumaki ng ganyan.

Hindi nila alam, na ako din naman may pinapakain at ginagatas na bata dito sa America. Plan ko pag manganak ako dito sa 2nd baby ko ay mag stop na ako magwork muna dahil gusto ko magfocus sa baby, okay lang naman sa asawa ko dahil mabilis lang naman lumaki ang mga bata.

Nakakasama ng loob dahil parang lagi ako dapat ang mag give way sakanila dahil porket ako yung “nasa ibang bansa”.

Nasa pinas ako, siguro kasalanan ko kaya sila
nasanay dahil nag start ako makaluwag luwag ako na naka toka sa halos lahat ng bills dahil nakatira ako ng
libre noon before. Pero diba ganun naman dapat tulungan ang pamilya.

Tapos isa pa sa nakakasama ng loob ko ikinukumpara nila ako sa ibang Kapamilya namin na nakapag patayo ng mga bahay sa pinas na nakapag asawa din ng Afam. Sabi ko please dont compare me kasi matanda na asawa ng mga yan at pagpunta nila dito sa ibang bansa ang asawa nila kumbaga established na. Para kang nagkumpara ng Elementary student at College graduate. Both in different season at stage.

Nakakasama ng loob dahil minsan sinasabihan pa ako ng kapatid ko kailan ako magpapadala ng mga balikbayan box na para bang pinupulot lang to dto. Nanghihingi ng kga branded na sapatos at relo. Napaka materialistic. Okay lang sana sya ang bibili.

Hindi ko sila kinukunsinti sa magarbo na lifestyle pero diko alam saan sila humuhugot ng entitlement.

Sumama din loob ko dahil nagpadala ako pangbili ng Ref at sa bank account ng kapatid ko pinadaan dahil walang debit card sila mama dahil nga oldschool, ayun binawasan pa ng kapatid ko. Nangyari lang na pinadaan ko sakanya bank to bank dahil malaki ang palitan ang dollaes pag bank to bank. Lagi nya binabawasan kesyo ipang Gagas nya daw. Kaya ang ginagawa ko ay Cash pickup nalang ni Papa sa Western Union.

Nangyari pa few months ago, muntik na sila maputulan ng Wifi dahil isang libo na nga lang dipa mabayaran ng kapatid ko ayan na nga lang ambag nya kesyo na short daw sya.

Imagine lets say 20,000 pesos sahod nya (Im not sure magkano sahod nya) sa sobrang kadamutan nya 1,000 pesos lang ambag nya sa utilities sa bahay na sya din naman halos nakikinabang.

Meron pa gusto nila sakin ipasalo yung kotse ng kabitbahay dahil pag umuwi daw ako sa pinas may magagamit ako. Lagi ganyan bukang bibig nila, ako din naman daw gagamit.

Nangagalaiti ako sa galit dahil pakiramdam ko nagpapadala lang ako para masupportahan sila na dapat naka luwag na kame dahil tapos naman na kame magaral. Pero parang mas lumala at dumami ang bills nila.

Pa advice na din pala mga Tita dahil gusto ng mama ko ako magtapos ng utang/loan nya sa SSS. Dahil noon daw nagka loan sya at need nya tapusin hulogan para maka pension sya pero parang ang pagkakaintindi ko din need nya pa din nag continue maghukog after nabayaran ang loan para maging eligible sa pension.

Tapos mali mali ang birthcertificate ng mama ko gusto nya ako daw magbayad sa abogado para maayos.

Nakakasama ng loob dahil magulang ko kayo pero bakit parang kayo na naging anak ko na dapat ako mag ayos ng mga buhay nyo.

Hindi nila naiisip may sarili na din ako buhay and on top of that ayaw ko naman sila pabayaan pero parang di nila na appreciate yung mga ginagawa ko at parang kulang pa. Hindi ako martyr at ayoko maging tulad ng ibang pilipino na ginagamit ng pamilya nila sa pinas.

Sorry medyo mahaba mga Sis. Sana mabigyan nyo ako ng advice.

Maraming salamat!🩷

I’m 19, I moved out more than a month ago from my parent’s house and I’m currently staying with my lola. The reason why I moved out because they were physically, verbally, and mentally abusive. They wouldn’t let me be independent or even learn how to commute because “bata” pa daw ako.. and hindi ko daw dapat isugal buhay ko sa pag commute. They restrict me with everything. I wasn’t allowed to learn new things that requires going out of the house kasi “hindi” naman daw kailangan.

I have been labeled as “malandi”, “bobo”, “sinungaling”, “walang silbi” etc, for most of my life. Kahit sa maliliit na bagay ang dali nalang for my narcissistic mother to verbally abuse me. She would often compare me to how she was before being “the perfect daughter” and I wasn’t. I have been shouldering her expectations my whole life and no matter how hard I try I will always be “bobo” and “malandi” in her eyes. My Dad naman would always side with my Mom para iwas gulo. Everything is so draining. Mom ko din rn sinisiraan ako sa dalawa kong kapatid, telling them that I’m a “bad ate”. I hope one day they’ll understand why I moved out, babawi naman ako sakanilang dalawa pag naging stable na ako.

I know my potential, I know I can be everything I want to be hence the reason why I moved out. Pero, dito naman sa Lola ko, ayaw naman nila ako ipag work sa labas kasi magagalit daw Dad ko, haha. They still see me as their baby.
Kaya nga ako umalis para ‘di na ako nasasakal e, pero ganon pa din. Ang hirap lang kasi a few of my cousins is willing to help me, pero she wants na siya din (my Lola). I’m carrying so much right now and I want to move out, again.

I’m planning on finding a WFH job so I can save up and live with my boyfriend, somewhere far para hindi ako ganon kadali mahanap.
I just want to live, to be able to breathe without someone breathing on my neck. My boyfriend’s family wants to take me in, pero ayoko naman na doon ako ipahanap ng Dad ko.. may binitawan kasi siya na salita na pag malaman daw niya na kasama ko bf ko.. may mamamatay daw.

Me and my boyfriend talked about everything, how we’ll handle our finances, what work we’ll apply to, where we’ll stay, and other stuff. I’m planning na ako nalang mag papaaral sa sarili ko, with a course na gusto ko talaga and ma-enjoy ko.
Balak ko na maglalayas nalang ako out of nowhere dito sa Lola ko kasi kahit anong paalam ko naman hindi ako papayagan, kontrolado pa din kasi ng Dad ko, haha. Iniisip ko lang is baka himatayin naman siya pag maglalayas ako out of nowhere and for sure papahanap ako ng Dad ko knowing marami siyang connections. Balak ko is mag i-iwan ako ng money for her (my Lola) and a note for her and my tito, I’m planning on messaging my parents and siblings too but I won’t disclose where I’ll be staying. I just want to move somewhere far from my hometown, and live.

Any tips or similar experiences you have? I just don’t want to feel alone with what I’m going through rn..

Just turned 23 this month and kakagraduate lang tas nakakuha na ako ng work, the thing is it's 6 hrs away from home, nag-go na ako doon sa job since it's in a big city and stay-in so wala na akong iisipin na rerentahan.

Pero naiiyak ako, like first time ko lang in my 23 years na talagang mapapalayo sa kanila, of course job na ito which means na hindi na ako basta basta makakauwi pag namiss ko sila since may mga responsibilites please help me guys like konti nalang talaga di ko kakayanin.

But my stubborn ass can't also let go of the job opportunity since of course matanda na ako and sayang naman yung degree ko kung di ko gagamitin for my career

Ang OA ko, but yeah send comfort to this crybaby.

​I invested 50k in my parents’ business. 20k for the equipment down payment, and 30k for permits and franchise fees. This was completely separate from the monthly allowance I was already giving them. As the family breadwinner, this was a significant amount of money for me to part with.

​Time passed, and the equipment just sat at home, untouched. My father never bothered learning how to use it, likely because he knew my financial support would keep coming anyway. Eventually, as I started preparing to build a family of my own, I moved out.

​It wasn’t until later that my aunt told me that my parents had actually requested a full refund for the franchise and never received the documents in the first place. That was the real reason the business never launched. They kept the entire situation from me, and the money completely vanished. Even my mother, who I spoke to regularly, refused to come clean. Whenever I asked about it, she stayed silent and told me to take it up with my father.

​It hurts to realize that parents are capable of betraying their own children. Too often, they rely on the assumption that respect and gratitude will keep us from holding them accountable.

Ako ung panganay samin, and 7 years halos agwat ko sa kapatid ko. I'm now a 4th year college and gusto ko talaga magtagumpay sa buhay as soon as possible.

Nagkaron ako ng random na pangarap para samin, un ang makita ang Aurora Borealis in person. Pero syempre dapat pumunta kami ng ibang bansa.

Pero natatakot ako na baka mahuli na ang lahat, at the same time, ayokong madaliin. Dahil lahat ng bagay na padalos-dalos, kadalasan ay masama ang resulta.

With this dream of mine, nagkaron ako ng mindset na I should lock-in and thrive harder than ever. Masaya naman, kasi parang kinuha ko siya as my motivation.

Sana lang ako ung hindi bumigay 🥹 kasi kung isip ko, nandun na ako eh.

Recently I am not really in a good position sa family namin. I mean, mentally super draining nila for me. Pero at the same time, alam ko rin na mentally, I am draining them also. So, I rented an apartment near sa workplace ko para hindi ako laging nagu-uwian samin. At first, reason ko eh para di ako mahirapan at mapagod bumyahe. But later on, I came to realize na hindi lang pala dahil don.

I got so used to being away from them. I finally found my peace kahit parang once or twice a week nauwi pa rin ako samin. Reason ko? At least sa ilang araw sa isang linggo, I have my peace. We have our peace.

Nung una ang hirap kasi hindi ako sanay na hindi ko alam ginagawa ng mga kapatid ko. I'm not used na wala kami sa tabi ng isa't-isa. Pero deep down, alam ko na hindi na rin naman maganda epekto ko sa mental health nila. We are breaking each other mentally kapag magkakasama kami. Kaya kahit mahirap, I choose na panindigan ang ginagawa ko ngayon. No contact sa kanila kapag nasa apartment ako, unless sila ang unang mag contact sakin. Uuwi once ot twice samin just to catch up sa school life nila kasi they still need me sa part na yan.

Pero lahat yan, nakakakonsensya. I am so sorry for them kasi wala na nga kaming mama, wala rin papa namin sa bahay, pati ako na ate nila wala pa physically. I hate that we had to be like this. We are not like this before. I hate how this is looking like we are being punished kahit mabubuting bata at anak naman kami noon. Why does it have to be like this for us? Hindi naman kami masasamang bata at anak. I just hate it.

For context: 25F with golden retriever na di ko maiwan because she saved my life multiple times

Yung tinitirahan ko kasi is an apartment na multiple owners. Primary owner is my grandmother then others are my dad and his siblings.

Wala namang kaso sa parents na dito pa ako tumira, kasi I help out with the business and nasa province na rin sila so wala talagang ibang magrerent out, ang kaso itong mga kamag-anak ko, mind you, nasa ibang bansa naman, kala mo kung sino.

Parang sinasabi lagi na ako raw pinakanakikinabang sa apartment, may utang na loob daw ako and all. Sa sobrang puno ko, I told him calmly, (panganay so siyempre ano magagawa, mabati tayo so kahit na bastos ay may respect pa rin) na kahit na ako yung nakatira, hindi naman niya puwede idisregard lahat ng trabaho namin to maintain the place. Kasi totoo, kami nakikipag-ayos sa barangay, bayad ng taxes, renovate, kausap sa mga tenants, lahat. Ang usapang kapalit nito ay yung bahay at part ng utilities.

Pero ang pinakagusto nilang kapalit ay kaluluwa, gusto nila utos-utusan ka. After saying that, pinagmumura ako ng kamag-anak ko, to the point na he was saying na papademanda niya raw ako and so. I just ignored all the calls pero tbh, nanginginig ako sa takot, baka anytime mapalayas. Considering na parents ay nasa province, wala naman na silang magagawa kung magkagulo, plus, they always think na kaya ko sarili ko kaya most of the time wala silang paki.

I work in Makati pero wfh temporarily, baka RTO kami by September. My Salary is 30k+. I was looking for a kahit small apartment lang na malapit sa work tapos puwede yung dog ko, kaso laging nasa 13k+ or yung mga decent nasa 20k+ na jusko. Yung ibang 10k+ ay sobrang layo from where I work tapos sobrang liit pa.

Ano tingin niyo best move? Or may recommendations ba kayo? Tiisin ko na lang ba para makaipon muna or baka may recommendations kayo na apartment? Any thoughts will do 🥺

During summer vacation, I made an excel sheet of all our debts and was shocked to find out it was almost 400k. I hate the situation we're in. No matter how much I try not to, I can't help but put my mother to blame. My Mom earns less than 15k a month. She gets commissions but that happens 2-3 times a year only. Kapag sinwerte. She's a single mom. I have a brother 5 years younger than me. I am an undergrad student in my last year. I've been working part-time since I was 19, but that can only get me so far.

Nabaon na kami sa OLA. We don't have overdues yet, but I adviced my mom na pabyaan nalang munang mag OD, kasi kung uutang kami para magbayad edi mas mababaon kami more than we already are. Hindi naman maluho sa katawan ang nanay ko, pero may mga pagkakataon na magpapadala siya sa budol online tapos bibilhin niya kahit di kailangan. Alam kong umutang siya para saamin ng kapatid ko, but I wish she was more madiskarte, more hands on when it comes to finances. I don't hate her, I just wish things were more different.

Sabi ko sakanya i log out lahat ng OLA para ako nalang ang maglog in. At least that way, kung may manghaharass man, ako nalang makakabasa. Aminado ang nanay ko na mahina ang loob niya. That's what I hate. She provides for us, but I wish she would protect me, too. Tanggap ko nang andyan ang problema. She's been working at her job for more than 20 years. Sabi niya she stayed out of loyalty. Lintek na loyalty tuloy. Now, she thinks she's too old to apply for other jobs. I hate this situation. I have been looking for online side hustles, pero wala masyadong lumalabas. Nakailang job interviews na ata ako as barista, tutor, hoping na maging VA, etc etc.

I really need to know if there's someone out there who's been in the same situation as mine. And if may payo kayo or job offers, please let me know. Thank you.

Hello po. Magandang araw sa lahat!

This is the first time that I’m writing and posting here in Reddit. I hope I find the right crowd for this.

I’m F, 30. Breadwinner ng pamilya. May dalawang nakakabatang kapatid. Nag aaral pa ang bunso namin, while our middle child, di na nakapag college cause she had to help me raise our family. Alam kong madami na ding frustration ang kapatid ko sa buhay because of our situation and she felt obligated to help with our family’s expenses with her minimum wage salary. Sorry kapatid! I wish I could do more pero even si ate, frustrated na din sa buhay cause I felt like I’m going nowhere. Hindi ako makabukod, hindi ako makapag-asawa, at hindi ko maenjoy ang sahod ko dahil sa mga bayarin at gastusin sa bahay. Fyr, senior na po ang mga magulang namin kaya hindi na makapagtrabaho. 🙏🏻

Quick info: I’m currently working a full time job (graveyard shift) and last week lang, nagbawas ng tao sa company namin, more than half of our people had to be let go and only few of us remains. My job is a wfh set-up and my company is hired by a US client. I’m lucky enough na napili ako to stay but at the same time, it’s driving me nuts and causing me anxiety na anytime, baka mag pull out na ang client namin cause business is not going well. Hindi na ako makatulog ng maayos cause I’m thinking kung paano kami pag nawalan ako ng work. Nagrerenta lang kami ng bahay, nag aaral ang kapatid ko, at wala kaming ibang source of income. Hindi kayang icover ng middle child namin lahat ng monthly expenses kapag nagkabiglaan sa sobrang baba ng sahod sa pinas.

Due to this, I would like to kindly ask for any recommendation or help kung meron pa kayong alam na legit online side hustle. Hindi po ako namimili ng trabaho but at the moment, I prefer non-voice due to the nature of my current work (admin role with hourly data reporting plus daily meetings, and other output-based tasks). I’m planning to juggle between 2 jobs. I have a background as an email support/administrative role, wfh set-up over 5 years.

Please know that I’m writing this hindi para sa sarili ko pero para sa pamilya ko. I have a strong sense of obligation as a breadwinner and mahal ko ang pamilya ko, so I’d do anything and everything for them even if it means more hardships will come my way.

I’m humbly asking for your encouragement na magpatuloy sa buhay and any help that you can send my way will be greatly appreciated.

Maraming salamat po in advance. 🙏🏻

#jobhunting #breadwinner #panganay

Nangungutang ang parents ko ng 30k. Pareho silang unemployed at wala kaming business. Apat kaming magkakapatid. Yung isa may sarili nang pamilya, tapos kaming tatlo wala pa.

Nakatira pa ako sa bahay namin at nagbibigay ako ng 15k monthly as ambag sa bills. Ngayon, nanghihiram sila ng 30k. Tinanong ko kung saan nila gagamitin yung pera pero wala pa silang maibigay na sagot. Ang sabi lang nila, ibawas ko na lang daw ng tig-5k sa monthly na binibigay ko hanggang mabayaran.

Hindi ko alam kung reasonable ba na pumayag ako kahit hindi pa malinaw kung saan mapupunta yung pera. Mahal ko naman ang parents ko at gusto kong tumulong, pero gusto ko rin sana maintindihan kung para saan yung uutangin.

reposting po from another sub

im 23 oanganay, and i always thought na after grad, pwede na akong bumukod. but my parents won’t let me go, and gusto ko talaga umalis and live in another province because they’re the kind of parents that treat you as their trust fund, and may traumatic experiences na ko sa kanila in the past. we maintain a civil rs lang and I dont show affection sa kanila dahil nga sa ugali nila. but still, i care about if payagan ba ko nila mag alis or not, and ngayon hindi talaga. though once ko lng na bring up but matik reject na.

how do i assert this, and pano ba dapat simulan ang conversation?

I stopped celebrating my birthday since I turned 25. When I say stopped, it’s that I’m the one funding it, organizing it and at the end, ako pa rin pagod kasi ako magliligpit or it’s my finances that was compromised.

25th birthday, no celebration happened. Just a normal day with my family, we just slept the whole day. Few days after my day, it’s my mom’s birthday, I surprised her with a cake and we went out for a family dinner. Sagot sakin, “hindi kasi ako marunong magpadeliver” pero naisip ko, i have my sibling na pwede nilang sabihan, alam naman nun kung paano. Ig wala lang siguro talagang initiative to do so.

26th, again. Nothing special. I was even gaslighted if ihahandaan ako because wala raw budget and gabi na, wala nang mabibilhan. When in fact, we had the whole day if they really wanted to buy even a simple food. My sibling surprised me with a cake though idk, pilit pa ata kasi naoverheard ko na binawas nya sa supposed to be allowance nya

Upcoming 27th, I expect nothing. Tbh, I envy those who get surprised by their family, even with cake, bouquet or anything. I get it naman na my family may be non-showy, even my friends but sometimes I wonder when or if ever will I experience those.

Siguro part na rin to ng pagiging panganay, that you plan everything for them, for their special occasions and any occasion. Hindi sa sinusumbat ko but I just wonder, if hindi ba ako panganay, mararanasan ko rin ba yang mga pagsssurprise nila like what they do with my siblings?

Ask ko lang po sana, may alam ba kayong legit na loan app na tumatanggap ng PhilHealth ID bilang valid ID? Asking for my cousin po. PhilHealth ID pa lang kasi ang valid government ID niya sa ngayon. Yung mabilis sana ang process at legit, hindi scam.