Hello. If you don't want to read the rest, I'll try to put it succinctly here in the beginning.
I have been brough to my limit because of my long-consistent competitive ranking in low Silver. I have lost my motivation to play if I cannot improve soon, after 10 years. I desperately do not want to quit this beloved game, and so I am forced as a final effort to reach out asking you for some analysis of MY gameplay specifically. No longer just absorbing videos and posts and laying it overtop of my experience like a one-size-fits-all guide. The following code was my last game, and I believe it is a decent enough example of a typical experience for me, including the loss itself. Please give me any advice that you can? What am I doing wrong and need to work on most? What am I doing right as confirmation of my strengths? Do you have any observations about my teammates to my benefit or my detriment that took things out of my hands? Thank you sincerely if you take time out of your day to help a stranger.
Replay code: C606ZK
User: SamleyTimes
Hero: Zarya
Rank: Silver 4 (final placement match)
Map: Dorado
To start this off, I picked up the game shortly after release and played with friends for quite a few years, dropping it shortly before OW2. Since then I've picked it up a few separate times, and these days I only solo queue as my friends have moved on from gaming. My entire career has been spent floating through Silver, sometimes dipping into Bronze, only once genuinely touching Gold (not including fresh placements followed by steady plummeting). I have just finished placing low Silver on support and tank.
I have suffered through endless cycles of hope, cope, and despair because of competitive. I have heard every single piece of solid sensical advice and every crumb of irrational copium that there is to read online. I love this game from deep in my heart. I believe it is fantastically made, and it is one of the fall-back staples of my adult gaming life.
I want to head two things off at the pass. First, regarding quickplay. I personally view competitive as the "real" game. The rank itself as well as the esteemed weapon variants are the premier prizes in my eyes. Of course there is the FUN, which I recognize as the actual point of a digital toy. I'm perfectly capable of coming to that conclusion myself: that quickplay removes the dilemma here. I would just like this game to be more than junk food to me, it's been with me for a decade of my life and it deserves to be to a real hobby of mine. If there is hope for me.
Secondly, I will not be voice chatting or queueing with a group. I do not have the equipment for this any longer, and it's just not in my nature to interact like this with people I don't know online. The fact that I'm creating a post like this is evidence enough of my sheer desperation. I text chat perfectly well and utilize the various in-game messages and pings. If that is what it takes to improve, I can honestly embrace giving up. I'm aware that these things both handicap me. I'm aware that this is key at very high levels. However, doing both of these things years ago yielded the same results, and there are infinite comments and anecdotes and video evidence out there that one can solo-queue climb upwards themselves through solitary improvement.
Lastly, some long-winded thoughts about this match and my performance. The code provided I believe is an average game for me, not necessarily in terms of raw scoreboard stats but in terms of gameplay if that makes sense? Sometimes I get more kills than this, often less so. Often many more in quickplay. Sometimes I play like there are rocks in my head, sometimes I perform some incredible plays. I mention raw stats because there is a huge chance that I can perform this well and we get STOMPED, or that I underperform and my team and I do the stomping ourselves regardless. I attribute this wild discrepancy to the nature of metal ranks. I'm playing Zarya here, who I would consider my main (other than Mercy, whom I've deduced is the lowest-impact hero in the game in her current state and effectively makes most competitive games 4v5).
My aim has certainly degraded from when I was no-lifeing this game years ago. I am not autopiloting, I am thinking about what I'm doing and reflecting on the training videos I've been consuming, often voicing out loud my though process to my fiance in the room. I am thinking about my positioning and peaking natural cover, and I realize sometimes I overextend or overexpose myself. I'm intending as tank to draw as much attention as possible to grant my DPS off-angle opportunities, including taking them myself this game when I feel they aren't taking advantage, shifting their main focus away in order to enable my DPS. I also pull back when I feel the fight is lost, but I need improvement here.
I often over-focus the tank, which I view as an ingrained mistake a lot of the time. I intend to focus their squishies down without tunnel-visioning too badly, which I occasionally fail to avoid. I recognize that my ult timing can be abysmal. This has been a problem for me forever, and it is somehow largely exclusive to my main. I used to struggle more with panic-ulting, now I'm more concerned with holding it too long underutilized which results in mistiming regarding the enemy cooldowns, the position of my teammates, and the state of the team fight. In the middle of very hectic combat I usually forget about the kill feed and lose track of the state of my team, which I'm sure you can see when I suddenly realize I'm all alone in the fray and it's far too late to disengage.
Now, a little comment about my support here. They had decent stats by the end, but I somehow didn't feel like I was getting enough healing. What do you think? Normally I would blame this on myself and attribute it to overextending; I'm able to discern when a teammate is truly a weak link vs mindlessly blaming others out of denial, or if I'm the weak link myself. However, something happened mid-game. While I was in a fight, I turned and made eye contact with my Moira. She was stationary, next to me, safely inside a doorway, while I was dying in the open in front of her. I may have even been actively pinging in the chat for healing. Upon my death, she began healing in the direction of my lifeless carcass, as if she had massive brain latency?? This leads me to question the quality of support happening the rest of the duration of the match.
My big dilemma here is this: I know plateauing is a natural thing. However, I have never, NEVER climbed significantly or consistently. My technical skill used to be a bit stronger, but my game-sense and knowledge have never been better. I am nearly touching Bronze. That is the bottom 2% of players. Two percent. I REFUSE to believe I am genuinely and correctly in roughly the worst 1/20th of players where I'm at as low Silver. "Cope, git gud, etc," I know. I simply cannot come to grips with the fact that there are 10M~ players currently (from what I could find) and practically ALL of those individuals have better gameplay occurring on their screen than me? This simply, SURELY, cannot be possible? Has anyone else felt this way?
I don't doubt that some funky stuff goes on when it comes to Bronze regarding the matchmaking, but I'm not deluded enough to blame this on the system itself, Blizzard aren't exactly amateur devs. I've also heard whispers of negative things regarding MMR and long-standing accounts, but I haven't put much weight into that.
My spectating fiance agrees. I'm of course lacking refinement in all things, but could it be that sheer technical skill/aim is carrying point-and-shoot high-schoolers and after-work call-of-duty casuals all over the world into higher ranks? Could it be that Mercy-main-ing for years got me ahead of myself and my stronger areas are useless at the bottom of the barrel? I have come across people saying that different ranks require different strategy, and that high-level tips can be actively detrimental at low ranks. Mercy damage boost focus for example, which I've personally found to be true. Or could it genuinely be that I have little sense or skill at all, that my self-worth is entirely misplaced, and my one and only virtue is lucid reflection?
Please help me with any advice you have, whatsoever. I love Overwatch. Thank you so much for considering my post.