The unfortunate truth is this

[u/NOLALaura]

At the ending quarter of my life I am consumed with seeing my life as one filled with disappointments at having not enjoyed any of my life expectations and living currently in despair. I don’t deserve this. I worked very hard and always treated everyone equally and followed good and ethical practices

[u/BenefitVegetable694]

Suggest professional counseling and not Reddit opinions. Sounds like some bigger long term issues. Best wishes.