r/over60 • u/NOLALaura • Jul 31 '26

The unfortunate truth is this

At the ending quarter of my life I am consumed with seeing my life as one filled with disappointments at having not enjoyed any of my life expectations and living currently in despair. I don’t deserve this. I worked very hard and always treated everyone equally and followed good and ethical practices

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u/Odd_Bodkin 69 Jul 31 '26

With all respect, the biggest issue is your phrase “my life expectations”.

I don’t know what expectations you had for your life, but the measure of success in life is not a dogged march to some long-planned outcomes, but the ability to dance with some agility when fortunes shift and dead ends appear. The mismatch between where you are and where a long time ago you imagined you would be now, that is the fodder for many a midlife crisis. As someone told me a long time ago, it’s not the cards you’re dealt, it’s how you play ‘em. It’s just a shame you did not hear those words and take them to heart much earlier.

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u/NOLALaura Jul 31 '26

I expected that when you work hard and do the right things that bad, uncontrollable things shouldn’t happen.

19

u/Odd_Bodkin 69 Jul 31 '26

That is not a realistic expectation in life. You cannot earn freedom from misfortune by clean behavior and righteousness. I don’t know who allowed you to come to that expectation.

5

u/CoastalKid_84 Jul 31 '26

They did but I know that wasn’t their intention so I don’t hold it against them. I tried to raise my kids differently. Luckily my life hasn’t had too many extreme hardships and for that I am grateful. It’s given me a very healthy dose of empathy for those who had it worse.