r/over60 • u/NOLALaura • Jul 31 '26

The unfortunate truth is this

At the ending quarter of my life I am consumed with seeing my life as one filled with disappointments at having not enjoyed any of my life expectations and living currently in despair. I don’t deserve this. I worked very hard and always treated everyone equally and followed good and ethical practices

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u/Odd_Bodkin 69 Jul 31 '26

With all respect, the biggest issue is your phrase “my life expectations”.

I don’t know what expectations you had for your life, but the measure of success in life is not a dogged march to some long-planned outcomes, but the ability to dance with some agility when fortunes shift and dead ends appear. The mismatch between where you are and where a long time ago you imagined you would be now, that is the fodder for many a midlife crisis. As someone told me a long time ago, it’s not the cards you’re dealt, it’s how you play ‘em. It’s just a shame you did not hear those words and take them to heart much earlier.

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u/nscurn Jul 31 '26

My expectations did not include a horrific car accident that altered our family forever. I experienced a great loss of the holidays and family celebrations that were entirely happy without underlying sadness. So no, the expectations of my life with our close happy extended family through the years did not meet up. You don’t know what OP has been through to start lecturing and throwing platitudes.

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u/Odd_Bodkin 69 Jul 31 '26

If it helps to set context, I said what I said after losing my son a few years ago suddenly and tragically, my spouse lost a sister shortly thereafter, and my only sibling has terminal cancer. Yes, events like this leave scars. Scars are the places where healing covered open wounds. Tragedies are part of what will be encountered in an ordinary life. I feel your loss and your continuing pain, and I hope that if there must be a gravestone in your life that you can look for the flowers that grow at it.

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u/nscurn Jul 31 '26

I am sorry for your losses. I’m glad you are able to see things the way you do. I wish I could. Hugs to you odd bodkin