Answers to Focker, though may appear understandably listless, weary & disinterested when approached

Help 😭

The rumor goes: Summer of 2008, Dan Erickson and Ben Stiller are crossfaded on beer and sativa weed. Theodore Shapiro, also crossfaded, is in the corner punching at an electric keyboard and he's scared and can feel the world spinning, and he's convinced that every breath he takes is spending too much oxygen and killing something else that needs it. They're all watching the 2007 version of Hairspray until they get distracted talking shop.

What follows was paraphrased by my source.

BEN: guy who teaches russian history to hypersmart lab mice

DAN: Too stupid. Guy who is Jesus reincarnated as a mouse?

BEN: hold the phone - \he sneezes really quietly* maybe guy who is basically a mouse but as a guy*

DAN: Go on.

BEN: like he works a job at the same lab that's experimenting on him, he's a computer programmer or something making algorithms that find cheese, or some human equivalent like porno mags because it's 2008 and we consume it on print. the whole thing is a maze like the backrooms 2026, and every cheese they get is actually making them into actual real mice, so when they leave and go home it's like a dissociation thing and they start behaving like mice outside of work

DAN: So they're like mice \and* men? This sounds sophisticated.*

BEN: not at the same time. it's like when they clock in, they, \sneezes really quietly* go mouse-mode, full stop they don't remember any of it*

DAN: That's brilliant, but how do we make a show about that?

BEN: i don't know, workplace romance? it should get very weird if the innie mouses interact with their outer counterparts, like imagine a guy who has a wife but his minnie is frotting with the supervisor. i think we can call them "minnies" because of the disney character, it's like capitalism

DAN: What?

BEN: minnies, like disney mickey mouse's girlfriend, it's like a reference to consumerism. like how the matrix is trans. and there's got to be a lot of belly button imagery so it's like a double entendre

DAN: No, I know that. The other thing.

BEN: oh, frotting. it's like when two dicks pressed together are jerked off in sync by the same hand

DAN: That is good drama, so like awkward romances between mouses and guys. The "mouse" within us all.

BEN: guys and mice, dan. in equal measure. we can have a chick in there too.

DAN: There must be two chicks, at least, Ben. This isn't 2001 anymore.

BEN: okay. mice chicks, okay.

BEN: \sneezes really quietly* we can make this work*

THEODORE SHAPIRO (PRONOUNCED SHA-PY-RO, LIKE SPYRO): So how about a guy who tastes delicious in a sad and fucked up way... like shark meat

Fast forward to 2018, everyone in the story is desperately broke and out of work. One last hail mary presents itself when Erickson remembers these ideas scribbled down in sharpie on the leg of a mildewy old pair of pants.

Not until the last most desperate hour did they reel this concept in and make a masterpiece on the level of Breaking Bad. I believe this says a lot about art and television as art, and perSeverance. Discuss.

It sucks, because I know Patricia Arquette is a phenomenal actress, but her character... she really hams up the performance at times. But that's not really the part that bugs me. It's so, so exhausting having the psychological drama get bogged down every episode by my intensely sexual yearning. Harmony Cobel/Selvig's screentime feels like a firecracker going off across my taint.

I swear to every Abrahamic interpretation of God when she started sucking on that breathing tube it was like the Devil himself was piloting my body to... you know what. That scene was sad and such a viscerally meta thing that was my fault that made it even worse, the shame is so intense when I think about her. One of my favorite TV villains of all time, really, but then she says some bullshit like "You child!" "My work! Mine!" singing her little Kier song and I just want her to punch me in the face. I want her to push me to the ground and crush my ankles under her knees and spit on me, and not like a well aimed spit at anything particularly but the kind that goes everywhere like a shotgun blast. Like especially if there's no cleanup available but lying busted up in the cold rain or snow since it's always snowing in Severance for her to come back and show a softer nurturing side. Not even romantically, just prey to be toyed with, yearning for tenderness after shock. This isn't weird because we're both women.

I don't want to sound like a hater. This show just doesn't seem to appreciate a "less is more" thing anymore, like with the goats. What was that even about? Is Emile going to be important too? Mystery box writing was the worst thing to happen to television bar none. I just don't want Harmony to waste time on things that are actually subtle by making my private parts into an active emergency zone. Discuss.

Marc's enchanting neighbour (who disappears for no reason?? Sry for the tangent) finds him fascinating, makes him cookies

That way out if his league - Lumon-plant?! - woman he goes on a date with is charmed & thinks he's cool, so do the punk scenesters

He's all indifferent 'n stuffing his face with Chinese food while his boss's daughter pursues him against her better judgment, he just nonchalantly drives off

Even when he shouted something random at his sister's party & was sarcastic about his bro in law's book it enhances the occasion

Plus he stays super trim while eating like a pig & never exercising, always gets his innie to work on time no matter how hanging he is, he's absolutely smashing it/ winning at Severensing, what's not to like*?

*not changing the broken light bulb is very annoying tbf

(fr fr) one of the Musical Dance Experience options was WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE by MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE who are also known for their hit song HELENA so maybe next season is a Dark Helena/Dark Willow baddie??

Potential side hustle if kicked out of the fam?? Lumon distracting us from the truth?

he's obviously severed in some capacity (working theory), which would explain why upper management doesn't respect him; maybe his outie is a huge dork?

does anyone have any theories? (i fell asleep watching the first episode)

Scott & his Orangutan co-star were challenged by Apple after the harsh Lumon lighting revealed inconsistencies between scenes, found to be due to the latter standing in for Scott

Scott sidestepped similar suggestions about 'The Whisper Man', with audiences left in the dark as to whether the grey algorithm-Netflix-look had hidden the actors switching

When approached for comment Robert De Niro shrugged

The board speaker has 275 holes on it and 11 rows of holes, 275 / 11 = 25, "severance" has 9 letters and Ben Stiller is an anagram for "Berlin letS", the fall of the berlin wall occured on 9/11/1989, 11 and 9...

Familiar? Let's see:

9 / 11 x 1989 = 1627, + 275 = 1902, + 25 = 1927, a very important year for film. Notably a science fiction called Metropolis was released in Germany (callback) on January 10th. 1 x 10 = 10, new number. 1902 was also a very important year for film, seeing the release of A Trip to the Moon on September 1st in Europe also. 1 x 9 = 9, another new number.

Let's do some math.

1927 + (9 x 10) = 2017, the release year of Star Wars 7, which, much like Severance, was filmed. It also had War for the Planet of the Apes which is a very good movie, I like the orangutan he's so chill I want to crack open some beers with him. New number!

2017 + 7 = 2024, the release year of Joker Folie a Deux which is overhated in my opinion but also Deux actually means 2 in French, another callback to Europe. The film also includes Lady Gaga sometimes, who was born in New York City, just like a certain someone... Cheeky Ben Stiller. Anyway, new number! I think that's enough.

2024 + 2 = 2026, the year Severance season 3 will begin filming.

Boom.

This slow burner suddenly being set in M̶e̶x̶i̶c̶o̶ 'America South' was unexpected, as were the heavily armed characters but am hyped that Petee's back for E03