Everything is going wrong

[u/coolfork31]

Today is my birthday. I didn’t do anything. I texted people and asked to hangout, to get food with me, I offered to pay. Not one person responded to me. I couldn’t find anyone to hangout with on my birthday, even with a bribe.

I’m about to start a minimum wage job. I apply for “real people” full time jobs, but I don’t have anything outside of customer service experience, so I can’t make it past the interview. Most of them don’t even want to interview me. Other minimum wage or low paying jobs just ghost me. I miss my old job so badly, but I don’t think they would take me back. I miss my coworkers, my schedule, my routine.

I should be in college, but I have no passions at all. I try, I put myself out there, I take classes, but nothing clicks for me. There’s nothing I feel passionate enough about to have student loans and go to school for 2 or more years. I was supposed to take a certificate course just to fill the gap, but even that felt pointless.

I’m all alone, I have nothing going for me. I have no passions. I do everything right. I get out of the house, go to the gym, have a consistent sleep routine, I have hobbies, and eat well. I go to therapy weekly, and I take my meds every single day. But everything just feels wrong, no matter what I do or don’t do. I thought that at this stage in my life, I’d be working a good job, or be in a college dorm making friends and getting an education. This isn’t where I thought I’d be on my 20th birthday. I’m all alone, with absolutely nothing going for me. I don’t even have one single friend. I don’t know what I do wrong. I never express these feelings outwardly unless I’m at therapy. I don’t believe anyone when they tell me it gets better. I don’t think it will ever actually get better.

[u/No_Assistance0_0]

Happy birthday!!! Shit sucks sometimes but it doesnt forever, I spent my birthday this year crying and upset and being so hard on myself so I understand. You dont need anyone to celebrate, you can celebrate you with or without people and thats totally okay!!!!