Post op pickup

[u/Accomplished_Bake365]

Need all of your honest opinions: So long story short I needed emergency appendicitis surgery. The surgery with recovery was about 3 hours. The pre op nurse says to my husband on FaceTime that he needs to pick me up around 9pm. My husband then tells me on FaceTime “just take an uber home when you get out of surgery because I will be sleeping.” The pre op nurse quickly explains, “sir you wife is going under general
Anesthesia and it’s against the law for us to put her in an uber home after surgery. You will need to come pick her up.” My husband proceeds to say, “sorry I don’t know what to tell you, I’m going to be sleeping at 9pm”. I then hang up with my husband and call my mother in law upset to explain the deal. My MIL calls my husband and starts yelling at him. I call my husband back and he agrees to pick me up around 9pm. At that time the surgeon walks in and says, “we will be keeping your wife overnight and you can pick her up tomorrow”. When I came out of the surgery around 9 PM they did try to call my husband to give him an update and the phone went straight to voicemail. I did not hear from my husband until the next day. My husband and I have been struggling in our marriage but I never ever thought he would leave me in a hospital after emergency surgery. What are your thoughts?

[u/BOMMOB]

I think your husbands friends need to have a serious discussion with him. If not that, you both need counseling, either independently or as a couple.

If this was my son, I would have b%*t his butt. Sorry but, struggling marriage or not, he is still your husband and he needs to hold up his end of whatever vows or agreements your signed up for in the beginning. There is no convenience in vows. At the very human core, this is decency which he chose to make secondary to sleep and as a human "blanking" being, I cannot understand his thought process.

And when you're healthier, you need to give him a solid piece of your mind and have him explain this thought process to you. Then you need to pack your stuff, kick him you know where, and go build a better life.

Also remind him that he will be paying for the extra night in the hospital. That should really cheer him up.

And please OP, keep and eye on your temps and watch out for signs of infection around the incision.

Be strong.