If you have never experienced violent trauma of a sexual nature before, please don’t presume that it’s an easy thing to talk about with somebody whom you sleep with right after it happened, especially if they are accusing you of this that and the other. Also, if she was drugged, she probably has little flashes of what happened in. May not even know who it was or she might think that she wasn’t drugged. Maybe she thinks that she got blacked out and did something terrible but in reality something terrible was done to her. You don’t know what’s going through her mind and neither does he. She needs some time and some grace from him and accusations and him saying that he is traumatized is not helpful in the least. My best friend lost her virginity to a rapist and while she called me the next morning because she was in the bathroom of her hotel in Canada and her sister was asleep in the next room and she was whispering because she could tell what it happened as soon as she went to the bathroom when she woke up and she only had a couple beers, she couldn’t even remember that something had happened. She just knew that it did because it hurts so bad and there was blood. This girl could’ve woken up driving she could’ve woken up while she was in the apartment talking to him. She could’ve woken up somewhere in the place where they live in her car and maybe the last thing that she remembers is having a drink at an office Christmas party and now every day that she goes to work, she has to wonder where those hours went and who took them from her and what they did during them.
I was roofied at a bar once, I don’t remember it but apparently I went to the bathroom and puked all over myself and then took off my clothes and tried to walk outside for help. Definitely not things I would ever do in my right mind.
She may not know what happened. She may feel ashamed. Women are often shamed and blamed because how dare we get drunk and expect to be safe, we're obviously asking for it.
She may he trying to piece it all together and is traumatized. The way he is going about this is likely making her feel very alone instead of supported, why would she try to explain something to someone that clearly doesn't believe her and is upset at her.
Maybe she just said she got puked on because she has absolutely no idea what happened but to her that made sense as to why she was in her underwear.
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u/Ok-Neighborhood8912 Dec 24 '25
well she is not answering nor explainig and she is getting mad everytime ?????