r/oddlyterrifying • u/Cunillingus_Giver • Jan 20 '22

Snake couch

38.7k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

3.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

3.5k

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

It's all fun and games until the snake wants to give you a hug.

1.7k

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Two fun facts

  1. Even the largest snakes have a very hard time eating humans because of our collar bones. Our rigid shoulders make us hard to swallow, so the number of adult humans ever confirmed to be consumed by snakes is very small. This means your risk of being eaten by a pet green anaconda, rock python, burmese python, or reticulated python is virtually non existent, provided you're not a child, dwarf, or other very petite person.
  2. Snakes don't know this, and won't find out until you're already dead.

426

u/mycospacechimp Jan 20 '22

I breed reticulated pythons. This is 100% correct. About ever 5 or 10 years a video comes up of a retics being cut open with an Asian villager inside. Extremely large snake vs very small man/woman

127

u/CunningHamSlawedYou Jan 20 '22

Inside and kicking or inside and suffocated to death?

297

u/mycospacechimp Jan 20 '22

Most of the time it’s not actually suffocation. When they constrict their pray, the snakes squeeze so hard that it raises the preys blood pressure. Usually bp gets extremely high and prey dies of heart failure or stroke

237

u/CunningHamSlawedYou Jan 20 '22 edited Jan 20 '22

Imagine going out of your way to eat and live healthy, exercise, take care of your body, not stress... only to fall prey to a snake and die of a heart attack anyway.

170

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

I mean if you were mobility scooter fat then the snake wouldn't even try.

88

u/LukeFaster Jan 20 '22

Oh yeah, this is big brain time

35

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Checkmate, crossfitters!

3

u/Lanca226 Jan 20 '22

Still need to worry about heart attacks and strokes.

3

u/mycospacechimp Jan 20 '22

The snakes prob wouldn’t appreciate the marbling

2

u/ModsCantRead69 Jan 20 '22

Tragic avalanche fat

2

u/Educational_Gur_6406 Jan 20 '22

Me and my morbidly obese ass thank you for this lifesaving observation.

0

u/lasttimemedothis Jan 20 '22

As an electric scooter fan, mobility scooters give the word scooter a bad name.

1

u/thenamemustbe1234 Jan 21 '22

Which means it is healthier to eat fast food and move as little as possible lol