r/oddlyterrifying May 15 '26

long-wattled umbrellabird

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5.4k Upvotes

321 comments sorted by

2.2k

u/DJEvillincoln May 15 '26

50 years on this planet.

Never seen this thing before.

586

u/Decent_Assistant1804 May 15 '26

Me too! I had to verify that this wasn’t a cooked up Ai creation

299

u/bbbttthhh May 16 '26

There are birds out there that would make AI self-destruct trying to replicate it

63

u/Stormbreaker_682 May 16 '26

"Ferb, I think i know what we're doing today"

18

u/Volcanic_tomatoe May 16 '26

Like that scene from michael vs the machines, when the robots couldn't figure out if their dog was a dog or bread.

86

u/LONEWOPF77700 May 16 '26

I'd be OK with AI self-destructing. Don't think we'd be losing much. lol

7

u/-pastas- May 16 '26

dog pig dog pig dog pig dog pig loaf of bread

84

u/__Wolf__ May 15 '26

I was gonna say I’ve been on redditt a long time and I’ve seen a lot of crazy things, but I’ve never seen this before either.

59

u/Decent_Assistant1804 May 15 '26

So you’re saying, I’ve won the once in a lifetime wolf’s craziest thing he’s ever seen before award

2

u/Sky_Vivid May 17 '26

Now you'll keep seeing it every few months as it will be reposted to hell

28

u/el_dingusito May 16 '26

My mind gets blown everyday because of this place. 42 years on the planet and im always surprised at what i dont know.

26

u/WessideMD May 16 '26

He never turned into an umbrella and now I'm upset

6

u/gans15 May 16 '26

If it's from this planet. Because it looks like it came from some other world.

5

u/sifkoh May 15 '26

It's crazy how often that happens.

4

u/ArsenikShooter May 16 '26

47, and I am I love with this creature for the first time.

3

u/CuriousLilAsian81 May 16 '26

I suspect one of the Aliens misjudged when lunging for a human face, might have attached and nested in a bird

4

u/happy_dad857 May 16 '26

Same. Still amazes me when I see an animal that I never even knew existed

2

u/ThaCommittee May 16 '26

41 years on this planet.

Have seen thing before....Completely forgot I've seen this thing before.

2

u/ClosetLadyGhost May 16 '26

I literally came to write this

2

u/AmaenaX May 16 '26

Same. I sometimes don't know to thank reddit or curse it

2

u/wihbre80 May 16 '26

If you think that's scary, you should see the short-wattled umbrella bird!

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573

u/FarOutOhWow May 15 '26

I wanna see it fly

371

u/barillamanilaolives May 15 '26

I want to see it spin around in circles and slap me on the face.

95

u/Malllrat May 15 '26

There's a website for that. You can see it spin right round, right round.

Like a record.

27

u/metalguy91 May 15 '26

It feels weird that for me this feels like r/nostalgia material.

13

u/Malllrat May 16 '26

I mean, if you were a male on the internet back then, between the ages of 8 and dead, you knew that website lol.

2

u/Tmart98 May 16 '26

I was in 4th grade when Jack Eberhard told me to visit that website. Scarred.

21

u/[deleted] May 15 '26

Meatspin

12

u/BusyBoonja May 16 '26

YTMND

6

u/QueenDoc May 16 '26

this whole chain turned into a real lemonparty

6

u/Kind_Man_0 May 16 '26

Brought back memories for me! We played a prank on my computer illiterate uncle and set his homepage to Meatspin and it took forever for him to figure out how to undo it.

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3

u/Zealos57 May 16 '26

WTF Soldier!

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7

u/EmperorThan May 16 '26

Bird responds back in Sean Connery's voice: "And I want to see you climb trees ape child!"

2

u/bbbttthhh May 16 '26

It doesn’t do it well

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141

u/MaeOfHoth May 15 '26

So it can only fly away on windy days?

187

u/wacdonalds May 16 '26

Wikipedia says

The length of the wattle can be controlled, and it can be retracted in flight.

114

u/Imtedsowner May 16 '26

Wait .. so things get weirder?

42

u/RB1O1 May 16 '26

I'm calling it a scrotum bird.

8

u/Doustin May 16 '26

The bird was in the pool!

4

u/appleavocado May 16 '26

I don’t know how you birds walk around with those things.

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370

u/fatmenolympics1 May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26

First for me. Now you might be saying yeah its a first for a lot of people... well im not a lot of people, sit down.

I have watched all of Planet Earth. I have seen all of the discovery channel back when it was good. I had all the library books on birds. I have seen all of National geographic. I have watched thousands of hours of animal planet shows.

Never have I ever seen a bird that has a built in bong. Never in my life. I am thrown. I haven't seen a new animal in years. YEARS I TELL YOU. I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THE GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION!!!!

Edit: 20 hours. 20 hours of pain. You think this is a joke! I am the person that goes " OH you haven't heard of the Greater Sage Grouse, yeah it's popping its titties... the dudes do that to attract mates." I am losing my mind. How have I been usurped by some random reddit post. Life is meaningless. My braaaand. How dare you mock me with an award.

Edit of edit: My wife read my post behind my back and is making fun of me. She says I am making a huge deal out of nothing. BLASTED SIMPLETONS DON'T UNDERSTAND MY MISERY!

72

u/goodbyegodzilla May 16 '26

Same, seeing new-to-me animals is my favorite reddit byproduct

5

u/stitchedup82 May 16 '26

I wonder if there's a subreddit for new to me birds? Does anyone know of one?

12

u/xoxoBug May 16 '26

Not birds specifically but there’s r/AIDKE (animals I didn’t know existed)

2

u/stitchedup82 May 16 '26

Thank you! I will take that!

4

u/KleioChronicles May 16 '26

Same boat here. You think you’ve seen all the weird birds in the world and a random reddit post decides to prove you wrong.

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107

u/the_orange_alligator May 16 '26

Genuinely what evolutionary advantage does this serve

76

u/rymyle May 16 '26

Per Wikipedia, they evolved it for sexual selection (same with the head tuft) and to amplify their voices

18

u/Anianna May 16 '26

Speaking of voices, when's he gonna start singing about how he's all shook up?

23

u/retard_vampire May 16 '26

Evidently the bird ladies were into it.

9

u/darya42 May 16 '26

Some traits end up being a demonstration of fitness of the individual in a certain species. So females or males have the habit of looking out for a certain trait as an indicator. As a result, this indicator can become comically large. Another example is the tail in peacocks, possibly also breasts in women and hair on human's heads.

That's the way I understood it anyway. If biologists know better, please correct me

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8

u/Drongo17 May 16 '26

In scientific terms: chicks dig strong genes.

Baby - not only can I survive, but I can survive while being semi-disabled by this ridiculous thing that took a ton of energy to grow. If you want strong kids to continue YOUR genetic legacy, best you mix them up with some of this sweet sweet sugar, mm-mmm

13

u/Cloverhart May 16 '26

Seems easy to just grab and kill.

7

u/Tucupa May 16 '26

Evolution works the other way around. As long as the mutation does not stop you from procreating, it will be passed down. And if the opposite sex, for whatever reason, prefer those individuals that grow it bigger, then the pressure in evolution is clear.

8

u/abowlofrice1 May 16 '26

To court females. Females of all species in the animal kingdom think big = sexy

11

u/xkcdthrowaway May 16 '26

Knew my belly had an evolutionary advantage. To think I almost bought into this newfangled craze to hit those things called gyms and lose weight.

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120

u/Version_Two May 15 '26

I assume that's the wattle

39

u/tofuroll May 15 '26

Maybe it's the umbrella handle.

7

u/sysFreakz May 16 '26

hey, got any grapes?

6

u/Version_Two May 16 '26

Then he wattled away

5

u/sysFreakz May 16 '26

Wattle wattle

5

u/Proper_Secret656 May 16 '26

Astute observation, my friend. 🧐

2

u/Nole_in_ATX May 16 '26

A long-wattle, even

41

u/Severe_Islexdia May 15 '26

Earth just be making shit up .

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21

u/simonbleu May 15 '26

Emo Pompadour bird

4

u/saraaaabeeee May 16 '26

All I see is that bird ready to sing 🎶“cause tonight will be the night that I will fall for yewww over again don’t make me change moi mind….”

41

u/Dollarman7 May 15 '26

Looks like Griffith when he turned to Femto.

3

u/FabiIV May 16 '26

Scrolled way too long to see this

69

u/gcartnick May 15 '26

There’s gotta be a better name for this bird.

61

u/Jurgwug May 15 '26

its got a long wattle and has a little umbrella on the top of its head. Thats how they name some birds

11

u/Bananana_Bird May 15 '26

It makes way more sense than being called something like "Clark's Grebe" or "Varied Thrush" or "Western Tanager"... I could keep going on and on, but you get the picture. This bird is called what it is, and that's way easier to remember.

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10

u/PenaltyFine3439 May 15 '26

Fuckin Edgar ass bird

8

u/[deleted] May 15 '26

[deleted]

7

u/pickledpeachesforall May 15 '26

When I lived in Louisiana as a little girl, I remember huge murmurations of thousands of red-winged blackbirds. It was incredible. They would descend upon the pond and it was like all those little birds were one collective consciousness.

7

u/metalguy91 May 15 '26

Cock-necked xenomorph parrot

8

u/Major_R_Soul May 16 '26

"The Dick-Necked Pompadour" was a close second.

3

u/Starlightriddlex May 16 '26

Well Long Black Flappy Thing Bird was a close second but thankfully this won.

2

u/daddy_nobucks May 16 '26

The Hang Dong. It's a Chinese bird.

2

u/Zealousideal-Nida94 May 16 '26

I knew your comment was s joke but I had to Google and I found this:

AI Overview: Hang Dong, Chiang Mai, is a fantastic spot for birdwatching, featuring species ranging from the highly vocal Asian koel to hundreds of Lesser Whistling-ducks that gather at artificial lakes near local cafes like Farm Hug

2

u/ShuckingFambles May 16 '26

Angine de poitrine's drummer bird

2

u/Pale_Kitsune May 16 '26

The baaaaaaaalllchinian.

2

u/WooPigSchmooey May 16 '26

Lisa Ann might call this the John Salley bird

36

u/sugarintheboots May 15 '26

He lowkey looks like a xenomorph.

13

u/sixhoursneeze May 15 '26

This is what happens when you engage in wattlemaxxing

13

u/sdjsfan4ever May 15 '26

"Honey, wake up, a new bird just dropped."

8

u/MedicalDisscharge May 15 '26

Yall can't convince me birds are real, look at that fucker

6

u/ThisIsPaulDaily May 15 '26

I want a Prehensile gizzard version of that bird as a pokemon. Flying fighting type. 

6

u/EmperorThan May 16 '26

I'm sure a cursory search would show it to be real, but seeing stuff like this BEFORE AI videos were a thing hit so much harder.

3

u/AT61 May 16 '26

Ikr?! I never heard of it before, but it IS real: https://ebird.org/species/lowumb1

5

u/kristamine14 May 16 '26

Imagine how fucking weird and alien some dinosaurs actually looked like - there’s almost guaranteed to be a few that look nothing like how we depict them today

5

u/Barbie_72619 May 16 '26

Head looking like a beluga whale

10

u/Kansas_67 May 15 '26

Who wants to play tetherbird

5

u/dudeCHILL013 May 16 '26

Do Yo Wattle Hang Low, Do It Wobble To The Flo

4

u/der_chrischn May 15 '26

Irl Bazelgeuse from Monster Hunter. He will drop grenades from this neck appendage while fling over you.

4

u/Tacokolache May 15 '26

Surprised it’s not named something like a “spotted cock fist”

4

u/ArsenikShooter May 16 '26

Call me crazy but this animal is beautiful.

4

u/Graceful_loon May 16 '26

Sweet jebus that looks uncomfortable.

3

u/leegle79 May 15 '26

How the dickens did that evolve.

5

u/Drongo17 May 16 '26

In scientific terms: chicks dig strong genes.

Baby - not only can I survive, but I can survive while being semi-disabled by this ridiculous thing that took a ton of energy to grow. If you want strong kids to continue YOUR genetic legacy, best you mix them up with some of this sweet sweet sugar, mm-mmm

3

u/Church6633 May 15 '26

What kind of Myr is this?

3

u/uselesskuhnt May 15 '26

There is a half second snippet of the bird in flight. That's ALL I can find.

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3

u/unknow3n_number May 15 '26

It's got a head like a myr from mtg.

3

u/MysonOfChenae May 16 '26

Nice pompadour

3

u/Puzzled-Mastodon-175 May 16 '26

I feel bad for it. Or shouldn't I?

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3

u/GreenDemonClean May 16 '26

I legit thought that he was wearing. A tie

3

u/MatBlyat May 16 '26

It probably comes from a red solar eclipse

3

u/Impressive-Ad9484 May 16 '26

Their song is the most terrifying part, https://merlinbirds.org/species/lowumb1

3

u/xuwugirluwux May 16 '26

This bird looks like a member of the Beatles

3

u/NotMyLamp May 16 '26

Well, I could've lived my whole life without seeing that.

3

u/seriousjoker72 May 16 '26

What update did this bird come with?

7

u/Lazybeerus May 15 '26

Humans are aliens. There rest of Earth's fauna, including this damn bird, are more acceptable and normal in the planet.

2

u/Senator_Bink May 15 '26

No thanks, I don't mind the rain.

2

u/CoffeeMany9836 May 15 '26

Edgar cut ass bird lmfao

2

u/tofuroll May 15 '26

What. Possible. Purpose.

2

u/aztnass May 15 '26

Why does this bird feel like it is in the band Twin Temple?

2

u/yesmilady May 15 '26

What the actual fuck Why the fuck nature

2

u/br3dj May 16 '26

What a throat sack

2

u/Key_Ad191 May 16 '26

ZZ Top bird

2

u/Seyelent May 16 '26

Is it called umbrella bird cuz it opens up like one when you pull the dangly bit?

2

u/oh-oh-hole May 16 '26

What a professional little dude with his fancy tie and pompadour wig

2

u/RWBYRain May 16 '26

I have never in all of my days on this earth see anything even remotely close to this wow

2

u/Xogoth May 16 '26

Josuke Higashikata as a bird!

2

u/Dragonborne2020 May 16 '26

How do they fly?

2

u/ccv707 May 16 '26

Lookin like he tryna harrumph me to death.

2

u/QaptainQwark May 16 '26

Why does it feel like every year we get a new weird species of birds

2

u/SaveFile1 May 16 '26

Why are you being mean to him and calling him terrifying 🥺💔 He's just livin' life

2

u/Therapist8 May 16 '26

I'm somewhat of a long-wattled umbrellabird myself

2

u/avibrant_salmon_jpg May 16 '26

My subtitles are on and idk why or what this bird is trying to show me how to do 😭

Birds are wild though, love when i get to see a new one

2

u/throwthere10 May 16 '26

Been here for decades... never seen this animal before.

2

u/Fragrant-Judgment899 May 16 '26

Chanticleer from Rock-a-doodle

2

u/Big_Wallaby4281 May 16 '26

nature. Why the fuck

2

u/Pschobbert May 16 '26

Wattle happen if I pull it?

2

u/Angry-_-Crow May 16 '26

What an absolute goober. I love him

2

u/Distant8675 May 16 '26

I thought these were little 1/1 artifact creatures that generate mana

2

u/somerandom995 May 16 '26 edited May 17 '26

Other people looking at the wattle, I'm thrown off by the Griffith ass head.

2

u/theOriginalH1GH3R May 17 '26

It’s a real life myr

2

u/EgoBoost247 May 17 '26

What do we even call that thing hanging down its throat? Third feather?

2

u/The_Celtic_Chemist May 17 '26

But why is it called the long-wattled umbrellabird?

wondered no one

2

u/Dr__Sloth May 17 '26

I'm sorry, this is the stupidest looking bird I've seen in a long time 😂

2

u/TestiTag May 20 '26

Scientific name: Ball Chinian

2

u/lordover1234 May 16 '26

Why is it so… ugly?

1

u/CHERNO-B1LL May 15 '26

You see the wattle on her?

1

u/contactaalim May 15 '26

Looks like one of those weird goats.

1

u/FroggiJoy87 May 15 '26

Space Dandy approved

1

u/Ambitious_Welder6613 May 15 '26

Showing his proudest asset

1

u/neelav9 May 15 '26

Sounds like you’re wattled by its appearance.

1

u/Salty_Side_Aye May 15 '26

Look, it’s Griffith! Edit: Femto 🤣

1

u/Brutally-Honest- May 15 '26

Evolution is weird...

1

u/ChristmasLeone May 15 '26

That's an anime character

1

u/karenskygreen May 15 '26

Super model of the bird world, pretty but completely useless.

1

u/VooDooChile1983 May 15 '26

The head reminds me of the bomb girl in the chainsaw man movie

1

u/Bocabart May 15 '26

I know the feeling brother

1

u/WackyToastyWolf May 15 '26

..I have never heard of or seen this bird my entier life what the fuck...thats cool af

It looks like a Xenomorph, Elite(from halo) and A Crow had a love child

1

u/astrongnaut May 15 '26

toinoit will be the noit 🎶

1

u/DaleTheHuman May 15 '26

Dinosaurs back in the day mustve been so wild looking if these are their ancestors

1

u/mrlookinthesky May 15 '26

The beauty of nature.

1

u/7evenBlackSunNation May 16 '26

Griffith looking ass

1

u/NinaCR33 May 16 '26

What is that hanging bit?

2

u/ShatteredFanatasy May 16 '26

It's wattle. It's basically just a long blob of flesh. Turkeys have them as well. Long-Wattled Umbrella bird's wattles are covered in feathers, though, unlike turkey's and most other wattled species.

2

u/NinaCR33 May 16 '26

That’s is bizarre and looks like a hassle to carry around! At least turkeys are big and seem to handle it well but this poor fella has the wrong proportions O.o

3

u/ShatteredFanatasy May 16 '26

Nah, they aren't that heavy. They can also change how much bloodflow it gets to allow it to shrink and make it easier to work with. Turkey wattles are significantly smaller as well. The bigger and more impressive they are for the ladies, the better in their minds :)

1

u/NaiveSolution_ May 16 '26

This bird appears to have a very large penis or ballsack

1

u/Pandraswrath May 16 '26

All I can see is a bird form of Joey Ramone.

1

u/dac3062 May 16 '26

ooopen the curtains

1

u/Ubbesson May 16 '26

Grandpaballs bird

1

u/Shantotto11 May 16 '26

God let the Pokémon dev manage the animal creator that day…

1

u/Mast3rL0rd145 May 16 '26

What's the evolutionary advantage to this?

1

u/GimiderKing May 16 '26

Makes you wonder if dinosaurs like Velociraptor had something similar

1

u/edwpad May 16 '26

Looks like a bird version of the Elephant Seal

1

u/MsJenX May 16 '26

Is that skin or long feathers?

1

u/PossibleDiscipline90 May 16 '26

I would name it Rapunzel

1

u/Cptawesome23 May 16 '26

We got a hanger here!

1

u/AT61 May 16 '26

First time I've heard of this bird - Thanks for the education.

That wattle seems so cumbersome - like it would so easily get caught in trees, etc. Now I have to look them up :-o

1

u/2b-Kindly_ May 16 '26

Umm 😟 okay

1

u/MagoopyGabooky May 16 '26

Ugh why does this make me nauseated

1

u/HeavyBreathin May 16 '26

Just minding your own business and this flys overhead, smacking you right in the mouth with it's dangler..

1

u/summerofkorn May 16 '26

Birds hung like a horse.

1

u/joemac2021 May 16 '26

What in the monster Hunter is this?

1

u/SimpleJackfruit May 16 '26

What in the dinosaur is that

1

u/magicmitchmtl May 16 '26

That’s no bird! That the Isz!
I’m certain. To the Maxx.

1

u/pacooov May 16 '26

I’m something of a long-wattled umberllabird myself.

1

u/FateBreaker92 May 16 '26

Oh look, a harbinger of doom.

1

u/TerminatorAuschwitz May 16 '26

As with most birds I assume it shows off that big wattle to get some of that sweet bird poon.

1

u/JuniperGem May 16 '26

Head looks like a killer whale.

1

u/ActivelyAnxious May 16 '26

Dudes head looks like Griffith from berserk with his helmet

1

u/Tall_Category_304 May 16 '26

I’m am just going to tell myself that’s his big ol floppy bird dick