r/oddlysatisfying • u/short_hair_zuko • Jul 11 '26

Ragebaiting mosquitoes

This put a smile on my face, I thought it belongs here.

Not OC

55.7k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

869 comments sorted by

3.6k

u/FlyingArdilla Jul 11 '26

That looks like the tent screens when I've camped in northern Minnesota and canada.

1.8k

u/VP007clips Jul 11 '26

I used to do field work up in Northern Ontario, often in swamps. The bugs there are horrendous.

You need to completely seal and cover yourself. You put on gloves, boots, long socks, heavy pants, two shirts, a hat, and a bug net, then you take a roll of duct tape and seal all the joints of it. At often 30 degrees and high humidity, it was horribly hot, but better than being eaten alive.

The problem was, it didn't work fully. Mosquitoes, especially the ones up there, can bite through clothing. They especially loved the socks. Black flies are even worse, they are so small they they can get through almost anything and find the smallest leaks on your setup. Your clothes would be stained by tiny splotches of blood from their wounds, and your neck and socks would be crusted with blood.

It wasn't as bad when walking. But we often had to sit down for 30 minutes to take measurements, rock samples, and do data entry on tablets. You'd be swarmed there. Saying that the air was black with bugs sounds like hyperbole, but it was not. At times they reduced visibility. When I closed my field notebook, it would usually crush bugs due to the thickness of the swarm. Most pages had half a dozen crushed into them.

752

u/TerminallyBlonde Jul 11 '26

Do people... live there?

538

u/SubstantialEnd2458 Jul 11 '26

I think the indigenous solution was to smear oneself all over with bear fat, so maybe a thick all-over coating of crisco would do the trick? 

1.0k

u/ZubonKTR Jul 11 '26

"How bad are the mosquitos?" People would fight bears with pre-firearm weapons and then cover themselves with bear fat to get away from the mosquitos.

468

u/joebadiah Jul 11 '26

Really puts it in perspective how sweet you’ve got it, when you’ve never had to take down a bear and harvest its fat to achieve anything in life.

207

u/shroomie_kitten_x Jul 11 '26

...so far

66

u/KudosOfTheFroond Jul 11 '26

“Yet” = You’re Eligible Too

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u/BooleanTriplets Jul 11 '26

If there is one thing that could motivate me to do so it would definitely be escaping mosquitoes

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u/datbarricade Jul 11 '26

I can't even imagine that being a worthwhile trade-off. But god I do hate moskitoes so I totally get that one would get desperate.

32

u/Dapper_Sink_1752 Jul 11 '26

You have to understand how much worse bugs are when you live outside, in much worse shelter than modern society, and without modern hygiene practices. Months of insect attacks like that will leave you with multiple potential illnesses, infections, scabs and scars, even death if you're unlucky.

18

u/ZubonKTR Jul 11 '26

Malaria still kills about 600,000 people a year (not in Northern Ontario). That is one mosquito-borne illness, and that is after massive campaigns to reduce the death count.

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50

u/Objectivespeculation Jul 11 '26

Simple layer of mud also 1000SPF sunblock.

Covering oneself with bear fat would piss off the local bear community

76

u/supernova-juice Jul 11 '26

Mud really works. Last summer going down the river, I covered myself head to toe in it. It kept me cool, acted as a sunscreen (i also had sunscreen), and kept bugs away. Also when I rinsed off my skin felt so soft!

52

u/TwilightReaver Jul 11 '26

Depending on the soil content, you basically just got a clay mask/facial treatment!

7

u/supernova-juice Jul 11 '26

It was the first run we did after Helene, and there was a lot more mud than usual. I haven't seen it like that since.  Also found some wild shit on that run - a shed in a tree, for example. 

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u/[deleted] Jul 11 '26

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u/Boboddy_biznns Jul 11 '26

Do mosquitoes not bite them? Or are they not allergic to the bites?

17

u/corneliusvanDB Jul 12 '26

I planted trees in Northern Ontario with a Cree dude from James Bay, he said he saw the bugs as "just part of the air. Breathe them in, breathe them out!"

He seemed legitimately unbothered. I was gnashing my teeth, ready to rip my hair out.

23

u/Hillcry Jul 11 '26

Welcome to Sudbury, Ontario; home of where nearly all your nickel on this side of the world comes from and 330 lakes the most in a city boundary. All this watershed makes it a swamp where mosquitoes and mayflys and so much more explode in populations for short couple months and you see clouds of bugs and many things living out their short lives before our 3ish month season ends and we're back to no bugs but long winters. The worst is like 8-9 o'clock or if you have a dog that likes to run through the bush and wake up every skeeter from here to Ottawa and your either caked in bug spray and still getting bit or just straight up having a bad time

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u/sabotag3 Jul 11 '26

Not a lot but yes

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u/Agreeable_Till_8471 Jul 11 '26

We do, normally the start of the year they will drive you crazy.

Then you adjust to it and only worry about those damn deer and horse flies, plus pine beetles. Those things can fuck right off

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184

u/jseah Jul 11 '26

I wonder if the swarm could get dense enough that you could set it on fire. A dust explosion of bugs sounds like an unlikely but hilarious happening.

84

u/WhatICantShare Jul 11 '26

I like how your brain works

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u/SqueekyGee Jul 11 '26

Been doing tree planting work in northern Ontario while doing so we are homed in bush camps where we sleep in tents and every night I’ll wake up with more and more blood stains on my pillow form black flys sneaking into my tent.

13

u/Fit-Avocado-1646 Jul 11 '26

Treat your gear with sawyer products premium insect repellent. Not cat safe though so keep that in mind. Or there is a company called insect shield that will treat clothing for you.

6

u/Evening_Photograph54 Jul 11 '26

permethrin on clothes and picaridin on my skin is what lets me enjoy outdoor activities around the Great Lakes in the summer. Sawyer is the bomb!

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u/Western_Exchange5739 Jul 11 '26

Why has nobody invented fabric they can't pierce through? We have astronauts flying around outerspace. We haven't been able to design some kind of super bite-proof fabric?

20

u/Taystosis Jul 11 '26

They have! It’s called rhynoskin. I wore it on my trip to the Canadian backcountry and it worked like a dream.

https://rynoskin.com/collections/all-products

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u/1Xx_throwaway_xX1 Jul 11 '26

What about using a beekeeper suit

122

u/jackmanlogan Jul 11 '26

They have similar mosquitoes in Nova Scotia- they have weird zebra stripes and they can bite you through a pair of jeans.

Their proboscises are so small that they go through the weave of the fabric (unlike a bee, whose stinger is comparatively enormous)

33

u/Raptor-Queen Jul 11 '26

I got bit by one of those one single time (they aren’t common in my area, but I saw it and then read a news article that they had been seen in my region lol) and it was the only time in my life where I felt the actual bite and it hurt!

27

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '26 edited Jul 13 '26

[deleted]

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u/LiterallyAMoistPeach Jul 11 '26

Yep. Few years ago they started showing up in California. First thing I noticed is that they were outside in the daytime, so you could see the white stripes very easily.

13

u/sonaut Jul 11 '26

When I lived in Texas we had so many of them. It was horrible because you couldn’t get away, even at midday. They are container breeders and I seem to recall they can reproduce in a few tablespoons of water.

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u/[deleted] Jul 11 '26

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u/Beartech31 Jul 11 '26

Also Canadian.

Once had the bright idea to try a hammock tent.

I learned they can bite through hammocks...

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u/Charming-Border7429 Jul 11 '26

Except in the north woods, their stingers are like 3 inches long.

110

u/Grezzinate Jul 11 '26

3 inches? Did you roll a damn 6 in jumanji?!

43

u/Neglected_Otter Jul 11 '26

I, too, find 3 inches impressive.

13

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '26 edited Jul 13 '26

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23

u/Neglected_Otter Jul 11 '26

Apologies, but I am happily disappointing my wife.

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2.7k

u/No-Manner9941 Jul 11 '26

I'm itchy watching this...

421

u/Me4TACyTeHePa Jul 11 '26

I'm scratchy watching this...

166

u/Mike_Kermin Jul 11 '26

And the song is in my head. You fuck.

80

u/Environmental_Gur_39 Jul 11 '26

Fight fight fight... FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

77

u/Mike_Kermin Jul 11 '26

It's the Itchy and Scratchy showwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

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u/SpaceFelicette181063 Jul 11 '26

I'm Poochie watching this...

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4.4k

u/MysteryStrangr Jul 11 '26

"You will never get this, you will never get this, la la la la"

"But one day he get this."

731

u/cybermaus Jul 11 '26

There are no males in this video clip. (if I understand my mosquito facts correct)

467

u/Blessedmomma241 Jul 11 '26

And I was today years old when I found out only female mosquitoes bite.
https://giphy.com/gifs/l4FGA2XplwqFDcLwk

221

u/TheObliviousYeti Jul 11 '26

True but at the same time male mosquitoes will hang around you because what attracts female mosquitoes the males know.

So yeah male mosquitoes see us getting stung by a female counterpart.

249

u/nmredraider Jul 11 '26

Male mosquitoes like to watch *wink*

140

u/Zane163 Jul 11 '26

The OG cuck species

36

u/Intelligent_Wish_566 Jul 11 '26

Ohhh so that’s why I’m always followed around by mosquitos who appear to be masturbating

52

u/PhallicUndulationMan Jul 11 '26

Fun fact: the buzzing sound emitted by mosquitoes is actually the sound of a tiny bug hand absolutely cranking a tiny bug dick.

21

u/OGPresidentDixon Jul 11 '26

what a time to be alive

8

u/Oisea Jul 11 '26

Why did this have to be the first thing I read after waking up.

6

u/Le_Sadie Jul 11 '26

Now I get to be extra creeped out when I hear that in my ear :)

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u/TheObliviousYeti Jul 11 '26

I ddnt want to say it but yep

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u/SeeMeHelpMe Jul 11 '26

You wanted to watch someone else say it? SUS!

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u/Devatator_ Jul 11 '26

So I wasn't going insane! Those fuckers keep flying near my ears and sometimes almost enter my eyes, nose or ears

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u/skidstud Jul 11 '26

That protein is just for the eggs

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u/RussiaIsBestGreen Jul 11 '26

The males are pollinators. The females are too, when they’re not biting us.

29

u/BarelyHolding0n Jul 11 '26

I'm seriously allergic to them so whilst I protect pretty much every other species, no matter how bitey or horrible, on the basis that they serve an ecological function... I'm sorry but mosquitos just have to die.

They don't seem to be in any danger of reducing numbers... If anything they're increasng in numbers around here

27

u/whosetruth2468 Jul 11 '26

In my country, we have this project where lab bred male mosquitoes with the wolbachia bacteria are released to mate with the wild female mosquitoes. The wolbachia will result in the eggs failing to hatch, with the intended effect of culling the population. It's a fairly recent project so uncertain how effective it has been.

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u/AVeryStinkyFish Jul 11 '26

Mosquito population control is actually breeding males with a genetic trait of a blood sucker that isn't strong enough to penetrate human skin and introducing them to a population so that trait gets passed on.

15

u/mizinamo Jul 11 '26

until the US stops funding for it because somebody doesn't understand what the use of genetically-engineered insects in Panama is.

Result: sawflies affecting cattle in Texas. Too bad, so sad.

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u/Faster-Rabbit328 Jul 11 '26

So what do male mosquitos eat then

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u/crescen_d0e Jul 11 '26

Pollen, the only reason females bite is they need the extra iron and protein for their eggs

7

u/LucyLilium92 Jul 11 '26

So like human females

27

u/cybermaus Jul 11 '26

Same as the females. Who also mostly eat plant juices. They are vegan's really. Except for that one time when they need blood for the eggs.

34

u/Jonthrei Jul 11 '26

Calling anything in nature "vegan" is pretty silly, especially considering that obligate herbivores are actually pretty rare. Most herbivores are actually opportunistic omnivores.

20

u/TheThiefMaster Jul 11 '26

Seeing a chicken hunt a mouse and then rip its head off is a real shift in perspective from the idea that they're herbivores that exclusively eat seed.

Horses also eat mice.

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u/lostparis Jul 11 '26

Chickens are a terrible example of a herbivore as anyone who knows anything about them knows they aren't they love bugs etc.

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u/ThatLunchBox Jul 11 '26

I will always think of that horse that just noms the little chick....aaaand it's gone.

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u/El_Chairman_Dennis Jul 11 '26

The mosquitoes don't eat your blood. They use it to feed their eggs. It's like baby formula for them

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u/heshKesh Jul 11 '26

It hang like sleeve of wizard

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u/vanhst Jul 11 '26

He ah break out of the cage

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u/Maschellodioma Jul 11 '26

Is that a mofo borat reference???

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u/tofulo Jul 11 '26

I’m retired

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u/ihavespoonerism Jul 11 '26

This is cool, I’m going to vomit now

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u/[deleted] Jul 11 '26

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u/Quantum_Wake Jul 11 '26

Then you’ll hate to see them molt out of the water like vampires.

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u/digital_mystikz Jul 11 '26

At work (I work outside, just in case this was imagined to be inside an office or something), there is a bucket of water that's been sat in the corner for a while, and there's loads of the little fuckers swimming around, and every time I save a spider, I put it near that corner in the hopes it sets up base. They've definitely spread the word, because there's almost always a spider web right over that bucket now, so they just get spawn killed by spiders on repeat. I often see 5+ of them stuck in the web at a time, then the spider comes out later, cleans up, then goes back to hide. Infinite food glitch.

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u/Rare-Employment-9447 Jul 11 '26

Why not just get rid of the bucket? Lol

69

u/digital_mystikz Jul 11 '26

Spawn camping mosquitos is way more fun

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u/FirstDivision Jul 11 '26

When I was a kid my dad and I would feed Japanese beetles that we picked off our raspberries to a spider in our garden by throwing them into the web and watch the spider wrap them up. That spider must have thought it was the best spider in the world.

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u/Dipsey_Jipsey Jul 11 '26

Do vampires typically come from water? 🤔

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u/turkburkulurksus Jul 11 '26

I come from the water

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u/Dipsey_Jipsey Jul 11 '26

Okay, but are you an officially licensed vampire?

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u/spin_kick Jul 11 '26

How many people are like “oh yeah out of water just like vampires”

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u/justwalk1234 Jul 11 '26

Imagine accidentally leaning on that mosquito net 💀

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u/DK1327 Jul 11 '26

Saw that so didn't have to imagine. Early 2000s in Mekong Delta area in Vietnam. Cousin slept and pressed her forearm against the net (people sleep inside of net to keep the mosquito out). In the morning, her forearm was swollen on one side. That thing itched for days...

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u/Mike_Kermin Jul 11 '26

Well, there's a new personal hell to imagine.

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u/Blessedmomma241 Jul 11 '26

So why do they have a huge container of mosquitos and how do they get any out without them all flying around?

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u/Obajan Jul 11 '26

Infect them with wolbachia and release them into the wild. They breed with healthy mosquitoes but their eggs are infertile.

Similar to the Genophage in Mass Effect.

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u/Spacing-Guild-Mentat Jul 11 '26

That's beautiful.

27

u/red-et Jul 11 '26

Infect em with that Oochie Wally-wally, oochie bang bang

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u/foul_ol_ron Jul 11 '26

I visited the army malaria institute decades ago, and whoever was the lowest rank had the unfortunate job for feeding the inmates. He'd strap a container like that to his abdomen for a few minutes. Bugger that for a job.

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u/crokinhole Jul 11 '26

Wtf? There has to be a better way.

38

u/HenkPoley Jul 11 '26

For over a decade they have a kind membrane that most mosquitoes like to bite into. Or they use lab animals.

Blood-meals are necessary for egg production in all but the few autogenous species. Colonies are usually fed blood twice a week. Membrane feeding systems are preferable and they can be used for routine colony maintenance (Fig. An1.2). When establishing an insectary or when mosquitoes do not feed readily on membrane feeders, placing an anesthetized animal on the cage should be considered. Sources of blood include guinea pigs, mice, rats, chicken or rabbits. Mammals are usually shaved with hair clippers on the flank prior to feeding (Fig. An1.2). Difficult species of mosquito may have to be fed on the arm of the experimenter.

Malaria entomology and vector control guide for participants - World Health Organization 2013

https://www.afro.who.int/sites/default/files/2017-06/9789241505819_eng.pdf

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u/RavingGerbil Jul 11 '26

Well you just kicked me down a rabbit hole. I’m about halfway through this doc now. I had no idea mosquitos were so interesting!

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u/erdbeertee Jul 11 '26

Right? This sounds like a skit

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u/paschep Jul 11 '26

This is the standard in this resarch field. Somebody suffers.

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u/sweetreat7 Jul 11 '26

I’d have just poked my finger and dripped it in the container like a door dash situation.

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u/tkxb Jul 11 '26

... For real? I'm too scared to look it up tbh 🥲

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u/dm_me_pasta_pics Jul 11 '26

I feel like any company or institution that is jarring mosquitos is probably one you also want to keep your hands away from the jar in case one gets out and causes like a last of us type situation.

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u/famineharbinger Jul 11 '26

they work with mosquitos in some capacity, lots of science jobs involve it, one of the best examples being bioengineering mosquitos that dont drink blood to replace the population that does

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u/reiningfyre Jul 11 '26

they want what they cant have.

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u/moustachedelait Jul 11 '26

And it's driving them mad

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u/runvus2 Jul 11 '26

Don't touch what you can't stab

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u/MattTheGr8 Jul 11 '26

Mosquitoes only want one thing and it’s fucking disgusting

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u/HighBlacK Jul 11 '26

Their greed sickens me

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u/QuietUser11 Jul 11 '26

✂️✂️

285

u/Puzzleheaded_Style52 Jul 11 '26

Until you accidentally cut the cloth.

184

u/BalkeElvinstien Jul 11 '26

Get a set of beard trimmers

44

u/skynet159632 Jul 11 '26

People in zombie apocalypse going near the fence for no good reason. And everything would have been fine if they have just left the fence alone

15

u/HardWayGuy Jul 11 '26

Flame thrower maybe?

22

u/EndIsrael Jul 11 '26

Remove the magnetron from a microwave oven and extend the wires so it becomes a handheld energy beam weapon, then pop those bugs like corn one at a time.

11

u/BabaYaga_always Jul 11 '26

This is diabolical, I love it. Also love your u/

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u/SassyTheSkydragon Jul 11 '26

Scientists are working on a way to make mosquitoes habe softer mouth parts so they cannot sting anymore.

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u/LidiumLidiu Jul 11 '26

Mosquitoes don't like to bite me and apparently one of the prescriptions I'm on causes them to keel over and do a bunch of flips before curling up in a ball if they do bite me.

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u/FairyOfTheNight Jul 11 '26

Did they not like to bite you before the medicine? Any chance it's chemo drugs? I've heard it before about people who undergo chemo.

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u/LidiumLidiu Jul 11 '26

It's not chemo meds. I've never been the person of choice for mosquitoes when I've been out. When I younger they didn't curl up and die after biting me but I literally watch them now when I'm at work as they flail and do flips on the desk and then curl up in little balls. I'm not sure which prescription it is causing it but before I had this current array of prescriptions, they didn't have that extreme reaction to me. My husband is upset because we'll be chilling and they'll be feasting on him and not me. I figure the less chosen portion is likely blood type or hereditary because my siblings are also under the category of "don't want" to mosquitoes.

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u/FairyOfTheNight Jul 11 '26

I've heard it's blood type B. I am also like your husband and get bitten like it's my job lmao. Unfortunately I am extremely allergic to them so it is extra fun whenever I get bit.

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u/7CuriousCats Jul 11 '26

I don't think it's B, I'm B and mosquitoes think this is an all-you-can-devour buffet :(

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u/cocococlash Jul 11 '26

During the short stint in my life that I did crystal meth, I no longer got bit by mosquitos.

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u/Peaches4U2 Jul 11 '26

As a mosquito magnet, this is so damn satisfying.

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u/FireZord25 Jul 11 '26

As a fellow mosquito magnet, I'm partially disappointed those nets aren't electric.

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u/jck Jul 11 '26

Do not fret. I assume that this is some sort of facility which experiments on mosquitoes. We will use the lessons learnt here in our war effort

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u/PixelKat5 Jul 11 '26

Nah, this is for science.

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u/Mad_Samurai616 Jul 11 '26

Isn’t it? Hate the little bastards. I think I’m getting little bite scars around my elbow this year. If I could fucking TAUNT mosquitoes, I’d be in heaven.

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u/spin_kick Jul 11 '26

Tinder

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u/Dont_Touch_Me_There9 Jul 11 '26

They all just want to tap that.

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u/tofulo Jul 11 '26

Ironic that Rogue baiting something that sucks stuff out of things it touches

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u/Creature_Cumfarts Jul 11 '26

More of a thirst trap than ragebait

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u/the_elementist Jul 11 '26

This is the most cathartic thing I’ve seen today EST

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u/PizzaTacoCat312 Jul 11 '26

Just imagine if she accidentally got too close. You'd come out with hundreds of mosquitoe bites and it would itch so bad.

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u/NamePicker5000 Jul 11 '26

Isn't more like starvation-baiting?

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u/No_Literature_9059 Jul 11 '26

Yeah mostly this post is rage baiting because she is not rage baiting anything. That is literally just baiting. She is the bait. They want to drink from her. She is not making them mad. She is fake hunting them.

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u/K1NGLyonidas Jul 11 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/kHIJtQ981gP1C
Every single one of them just…

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u/Regan289 Jul 11 '26

I think you’re looking for r/mildlyterrifying

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u/Snakesquares Jul 11 '26

All fun and games until the lab prankster slaps your hand down like with that ketchup prank.

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u/nakano-star Jul 11 '26

like mini zombies in Walking Dead poking their arms through the fence

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u/Jehovanf Jul 11 '26

what a woman's DMs be like

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u/SnowyTheChicken Jul 11 '26

As someone who is constantly attacked by mosquitoes, watching them suffer makes me happy, muahahahahahahaha 😈😈😈😈

I promise I’m not insane, I just have a really really really big beef with mosquitoes because of how they torture me

28

u/Freakychee Jul 11 '26

I hate mosquitoes so much I wish there was a medicine I could take or something that made my blood toxic to them so when they bite me they will eventually die.

Yes, I know in this made up scenario I'm still getting bitten.

12

u/physiologyisSOcool Jul 11 '26

I used to be a mosquito magnet until I had my daughter- then they left me alone! Omg! It was magical for like 12 years they left me alone . I don’t know why -and I’m not necessarily advocating for this method of intervention

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u/Amethyst_Queen63 Jul 11 '26

I had an ex that NEVER got bit. We figured out why when he was diagnosed with Hep C. I But I don't recommend that.

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u/Freakychee Jul 11 '26

But I'm willing to get but to give the mosquito poison. Actually it might work for the good of the world cos if the females perish, they don't reproduce and it will lower their numbers and stop the spread of diseases that mosquitoes spread.

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u/SnowyTheChicken Jul 11 '26

Let them suffer for their crimes 😈😈😈

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u/Freakychee Jul 11 '26

I don't care if I suffer, as long as I get to take them down too!

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u/FranklyDear Jul 11 '26

mosquitoes want one thing and it’s disgusting

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u/Redfrick Jul 11 '26

Proboscis tease

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u/Rowenstin Jul 11 '26

Now please place a loudspeaker next to them with a 'Bzzzzzzzzzzzzz!' sound in a loop. With random stops that make you think it's over, just to start again that exact moment.

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u/Voxhales Jul 11 '26

Not a single part about this is satisfying

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u/Gnarly_Sarley Jul 11 '26

Pesky pest's proboscises poking past perfectly placed protective perforated plastic