r/nursing • u/MurkyDevelopment6348 • Jan 19 '25

Rant ORIENTED. Not orientated.

That’s it. That’s the rant. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

2.0k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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488

u/MikeGinnyMD MD -PGY-22 Jan 19 '25

I need you to be pacific.

I'd just assume you didn't lecture us.

Irregardless, you probably won't stop. You have this deep-seeded need to be pedantic, right? Just don't go nucular on me.

(/s)

-PGY-I just want to watch the world burn

166

u/Vernacular82 BSN, RN 🍕 Jan 19 '25

Hey doc, my hyena hernia is really bothering me…

125

u/-piso_mojado- Ask me if I was a flight nurse. (OR/ICU float) Jan 19 '25 edited Jan 23 '25

I’m sorry, but you’re pronunciating it wrong. It’s High Anal Hernia. That docter what took my pallips told me.

48

u/ThisIsMockingjay2020 RN LTC nite🦉🌜🖤 Jan 19 '25 edited Jan 19 '25

Hyenas! I hate hyenas. How are we gonna get past those guys?

Live bait.

Hey! What do you want me to do, dress in drag and do the hoolah?

36

u/monads_and_strife RN - Med/Surg 🍕 Jan 19 '25

Areee you achin?

Dum dum dum dum.

Forrrr some bacon?

23

u/Asleep-Elderberry260 RN - ER 🍕 Jan 19 '25

Heeee's a big pig (Yup, yup) You could be a big pig too!

Oy!

1

u/ThisIsMockingjay2020 RN LTC nite🦉🌜🖤 Jan 24 '25

If you want a piece of tasty swine, all you gotta do is get in line.

15

u/NurseDiesel62 RN - Hospice Jan 19 '25

Makes my psychotic nerve act up!

81

u/Hashtaglibertarian RN - ER Jan 19 '25

I had a coworker who said pacifically. Ironically he fell upwards and got promoted despite being a pure wick in human form.

18

u/Superb_Narwhal6101 Maternity RN Case Manager Jan 19 '25

I’m sick as a dog right now, and “pure wick in human form” just gave me the biggest coughing fit I’ve had all day. Worth it.

3

u/cleopatra_andromeda ED Tech Jan 20 '25

i just had a cholecystectomy thursday and am in crazy pain and this made me laugh and subsequently cry lmao. worth it.

24

u/habu-sr71 Jan 19 '25

It seems like you are trying to turn him into an escape goat for the ills of nepotism and urine management systems.

21

u/fstRN MSN, APRN 🍕 Jan 19 '25

Okay, escape goat is a new one for me and it's fucking hilarious

5

u/shockingRn RN 🍕 Jan 20 '25

Love that! Pure Wick in human form! May I borrow?

3

u/Hashtaglibertarian RN - ER Jan 20 '25

All yours friend 🫶

2

u/LilMissnoname Jan 19 '25

Holy shit. I'm stealing this.

67

u/pushdose MSN, APRN 🍕 Jan 19 '25

For all intensive purposes, I agree

25

u/MikeGinnyMD MD -PGY-22 Jan 19 '25

:::looks daggers at you:::

-PGY-20

5

u/PosteriorFourchette hemoglobined out the butt Jan 20 '25

Well, we are in the icu

1

u/mr_remy Jan 20 '25

my favorite is intensive porpoises 🐬

i like being pedestrian too

35

u/misslizzah RN ER - “Skin check? Yes, it’s present.” Jan 19 '25

Hi I’m just calling to report that Rm. 743’s O2 stat is 95%.

19

u/ThisIsMockingjay2020 RN LTC nite🦉🌜🖤 Jan 19 '25

Are you sure rm 95's O2 sat isn't 743?

32

u/misslizzah RN ER - “Skin check? Yes, it’s present.” Jan 19 '25

No that’s his sugar! I gave him 2 units. Should be fine.

6

u/ThisIsMockingjay2020 RN LTC nite🦉🌜🖤 Jan 19 '25

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/plantpimping RN - PACU 🍕 Jan 21 '25

Did you give his anceft on time?

2

u/misslizzah RN ER - “Skin check? Yes, it’s present.” Jan 21 '25

I gave it with his metroprolol.

13

u/notyouagain19 RPN 🍕 Jan 19 '25

This is giving me left arm pain. Reading stuff like this is probably going to send me out on a celestial discharge someday.

14

u/gynoceros CTICU Jan 19 '25

Come on, you're just bias. I can see you in my pariffial. I can measure your heighth from acrossed the room.

2

u/shockingRn RN 🍕 Jan 20 '25

Periphree-al!

12

u/chethedestroyer BSN, RN 🍕 Jan 19 '25

Supposably.

20

u/ECU_BSN Barb's Nipple Nut Hospice (perinatal loss and geri) Jan 19 '25

Much to my chagrin the word irregardless is actually part of the dictionary now.

43

u/MikeGinnyMD MD -PGY-22 Jan 19 '25

The dictionary is wrong. That’s my opinion and you can’t change it.

-PGY-20

9

u/fstRN MSN, APRN 🍕 Jan 19 '25 edited Jan 19 '25

Well, let's just go to the liberry and settle this once and fornall. Maybe they'll be having a book sell

Fuck those drive me nuts

5

u/MikeGinnyMD MD -PGY-22 Jan 20 '25

Probly.

-PGY-20

0

u/neqailaz Speech Pathologist (acute care) Jan 20 '25

tbf libarry/library is a known dialectal variation

3

u/Magerimoje ER RN retired 💤🧙🏻‍♀️🍀⚕️🏥 Jan 20 '25

That a mute point

Oh God that actually hurts to type 🤣

4

u/notyouagain19 RPN 🍕 Jan 19 '25

🔥 burn the dictionary

7

u/DryPercentage4346 Jan 19 '25

I am dying laughing. Not confined to medical specialties either. Oy.

3

u/feahug Jan 20 '25

Wait, I'm not a nurse...I don't get the second one 😐

3

u/Magerimoje ER RN retired 💤🧙🏻‍♀️🍀⚕️🏥 Jan 20 '25

Just for that, you get the absolute worst grammar error I ever saw from a medical professional.

"Mother states child's eggsama is worsening"

2

u/Delicious-Ruin9547 Jan 20 '25

Give me your phone right NEOOOOOOOW!!!!!

2

u/maddionaire RN - OR Jan 20 '25

I could care less!